


The Experiment (Attack on Titan // LeviHan)

by KakashiSensei



Series: The Experiment (Attack on Titan // LeviHan) [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Ackerman Secrets, Canon-Typical Violence, Debauchery, During Canon, Eventual Smut, F/M, Healing, Heartbreak, Human Experimentation, Loyalty, Military, Partners to Lovers, Past, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Soldiers, Titans
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:28:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 101,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25955995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KakashiSensei/pseuds/KakashiSensei
Summary: After a public brawl between them, Commander Erwin confines Captain Levi and Zoë Hange to barracks. When the Survey Corps next heads out, they are left behind as a punishment. Soon bored out of her mind, Hange turns her scientific curiosity towards the most interesting specimen within her reach: Levi. When his past reaches out to him to claim him back, she joins him on a dangerous journey. Do budding feelings have a chance in the most desolate of places?(This story is set not too long after Levi joins the Corps and a few months before the breach of Shiganshina District)
Relationships: Levi/Hange Zoë
Series: The Experiment (Attack on Titan // LeviHan) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190498
Comments: 209
Kudos: 683





	1. The Party

"Here, Captain Midget," Zoë Hange slammed a large ceramic tankard filled to the rim with foaming liquid in front of the brooding figure at the back of the tavern, "it's on me."

 _Whack_ it went when pottery met wood with force and _pshhh_ when the brownish concoction sloshed over, forming a small puddle on the well-worn surface of the table.

Levi pressed his lips together in disgust. Smelled like piss. Looked like it too.

"Go back to where you came from," he grumbled and folded his arms in a dismissive gesture - but squad leader Hange had already slipped onto the bench next to him and peered at his face up close. He pulled his head back abruptly but she just leaned in further.

Her breath smelled like she had eaten horse dung, her hair was a horrible mess and her skin glistened from sweat and grime. She was uncleanliness personified, knew how to torment him like nobody else and loved every second of it.

"Were you smiling up at the ceiling like a lunatic five minutes ago?"

"What?!"

"Thought so," she nodded slowly, still peering at his face through her dirty glasses. "But Moblit insisted he saw it. You scared him."

Fucking morons of the Fourth Squad. Gritting his teeth, Levi turned his head to find them in the unruly crowd. There, in the corner, throwing furtive glances in his direction. He still felt like ripping their heads off for the mistake they had made three days ago. But that would mean touching them and that... he shuddered. They all looked like they had rolled in grease and then in dirt. Maybe they had. They were the type, just like their leader.

He shuddered again, this time more violently.

"Are you cold?" Hange asked, managing to sound concerned. She began to fumble for his cape but he slapped her hands away. Hange wasn't concerned, she was just well on the way to getting spectacularly drunk, which did not bode well for this place. There had been a famous incident about two years ago when Zoë had tested the explosive qualities of different mixtures of alcohol as part of a dare. In a closed building. What a fucking mess.

"Drink something," she smiled lopsided and a little cross-eyed, "you'll be warm in no time. And eat more. Maybe you'll have a sudden growth spurt?"

They had been served some meat tonight, in celebration of Commander Erwin's birthday. If anyone doubted that humans were not that different from beasts, you just had to watch them fight over scraps of the rare treat. Levi would rather go hungry than to lower himself to that level.

He just wanted to turn back to Hange to make a snide remark about her shockingly base behavior when his eyes caught those of a pretty, blonde girl who was staring at him from across the room. She looked startled to be discovered looking but pulled herself together and sauntered over with determination, hips in the colorful dress swaying seductively. Levi groaned inwardly.

"Oh," Hange giggled, not drunk enough not to notice, "someone else has taken pity on your poor, affection-starved soul. She looks very warm, look at those breasts... be careful not to get squashed!"

"Hi!" the girl smiled shyly, barely loud enough to be heard over the overall din of rowdily celebrating soldiers, revealing slightly crooked but clean teeth in a heart-shaped face. "May I sit?"

"No," Levi snapped, refusing to look at the plump bosom pushed up by a corset for ultimate effect. Tch, as if he were that easily manipulated.

"Yes," Zoë beamed at the exact same time. "I was just leaving. Bye, Grumpy! Erwin will be cross with you if you keep that sour face all through his grand party."

Erwin had left the tavern over an hour ago. Levi still hadn't made up his mind whether to be worried that he had not come back yet or not.

And off she staggered and swayed, holding on to tables and random shoulders for support. _She shouldn't be walking at all_ , Levi thought with a deepening frown, _but lying down_.

Her injuries were just as bad as his if not worse. All evening long, his knee had throbbed with dull, persistent pain and the bandages around his thigh seemed to get stickier by the hour. Likely that the wound had opened again. Fucking quack who had patched them up, they needed to find better doctors for the Corps urgently.

Across the room, Hange stumbled artlessly into Mike Zacharias arms. They both laughed and he drew her closer, looking at her with an unmistakably besotted, utterly stupid expression. Really?! When had that happened?

Finding his mood worsening further, Levi turned his most evil stare on the young woman eyeing him apprehensively. She recoiled as if she'd been slapped. That gave him a few seconds of pleasure at least.

"I... I thought you..."

"Better not to think too much," Levi said coldly, "you'll get wrinkles and then nobody will pay for your services anymore."

"But my friend said... Captain Levi is..."

Is what? She faltered before illuminating him about what her friends had to say on his account, looking ready to cry. Seriously now? She needed to toughen up and fast at that if she wanted to survive. Levi knew her type from his days in the underground. She was very pretty now with her golden locks and violet eyes, though barely of age, made to look older with blush and lipstick. She had likely jumped on the opportunity to service members of the Survey Corps on their Commander's birthday, while her panderer had greedily rubbed his hands in anticipation of a nice bonus.

Heartache was in her future and pain, a suffering way beyond what she deserved. There were far too many beasts inside the walls, just as vicious if not worse than the titans. She would look old way before her time, her body used and abused by whoever paid the right amount. If she wasn't careful, she would find herself with child and if she was foolish enough to keep it, she would have to hide it away in a cupboard when customers came, feeling forever guilty for being a bad mother.

Levi sighed. He could do her a kindness and leave with her now, keeping her away from the streets for a few hours. But tomorrow, she would have to roam the taverns for new customers by herself. So why bother?

It was all so very pointless.

But the girls' haunted, frightened eyes reminded him of people and places from the past and it made him uncomfortable. It was one thing to be nasty to Shitty Glasses who gave back as good as he gave and another thing to be nasty to a doxy who had seen his sour face as an opportunity to make some money.

Well. Her bad luck that he was absolutely not in the mood to be nice to anyone.

Levi picked up the tankard in front of him to buy some time - the wench was still staring at him with a mixture of fear and hope in her pretty eyes, expecting something from him he could not give - and took a sip... spewing the vile liquid across the table the very next moment.

She hadn't.

"Hanji!" he bellowed across the tavern, fighting to keep the contents of his stomach down, "you four-eyed bitch!"

All the heads swiveled in his direction because when had Levi ever shouted like this? - and then they swiveled to her in unison, who was standing very close to Mike with her hands around his middle - a wide grin spreading on her face as she saluted Levi mockingly.

It didn't only _look_ like horse piss, it _was_ horse piss.

Something inside of him snapped.

"I'm going to kill her," Levi growled and heaved himself upright, grabbing the cane he had to use for walking since coming back from their mission like a fucking invalid. His knee was stiff from sitting down for too long and it hurt like hell to move. All the better.

Hange was laughing like a maniac now, moving away from Zacharias, stepping behind stocky soldiers to seek protection. They were smarter than to provide it though, quickly clearing the way when Levi picked up his pace, leaving Hange exposed - and utterly unafraid.

That was Zoë for you. Someone who jumped into a Titan's path because she was fascinated by a gleam in its eyes.

"Are you warm yet?" she laughed and opened her arms wide, "or do you need a hug?"

"Enough is enough," Levi growled, jumped and swung - catching her squarely in the jaw. He pulled his punch when he realized she wouldn't doge, but man, she deserved every bit of it. What a reckless idiot!

Someone gasped, most likely that moron Moblit who was always at her heels like a lap dog, but those guys from her squad would never dare to move against Levi, they were too afraid of him, like they should be.

"What, are you hitting girls now?" Zoë asked innocently as she righted herself, rubbing her jaw and righting her glasses - before swinging her good leg around with amazing speed. _Thud_. Stupidly surprised by the viciousness of the counterattack, Levi staggered - damn that injury! - but he managed to grab onto her leg before she could withdraw, and he took her down with him in a tumble of limbs.

More gasps from the crowd. They sounded shocked and awed at the same time.

After months of occasionally trying to fit in, Levi had internalized enough of the strict military rules to realize that it wasn't exactly good form for senior officers to have a go at each other like this in public, there were new recruits around after all. The hell with being a role model though, he was horrible at that even on his good days.

Levi tried to get Zoë into head-lock to end this quickly but she resisted successfully. To hell with it - she was strong and agile and merciless, wriggling underneath him like an eel, not in the least shy to use teeth and nails on him.

"You have been wanting to hit me for days, huh?" she panted before twisting his arm, making him holler in pain. "You should work on your anger management! It's unhealthy to keep a rage like this in for so long."

"I can't believe someone like you is a squad leader," he growled, "you'll get us all killed at your next whim."

Man, she knew how to fight dirty. If he hadn't heard someone speak about her high-born background the other day, he'd have placed her as gutter-bred like himself.

"I couldn't let that Titan's head go unexamined," she hissed. "It had the most remarkable eyes!"

"You should have checked for others more carefully, what are you, a novice?"

"I couldn't see the one hiding behind a tree! It was very thin!"

"Because you turn into a complete, brainless maniac when a reason for it arises!"

"Brainless? Ha, my brain takes over completely overruling all my bodily instincts!"

"Get a room!" someone shouted and a lot of people laughed. Levi tried to see who dared, but he was too preoccupied with trying to subdue this woman. Great, now the entire dirt from her was on him too, including blood from both of them.

"Nobody was killed, okay?" she panted underneath him, "but yeah, I promise to be more careful next time."

She managed to sound sincere but it only enraged him more.

"Stop thinking in 'next times', you shithead! All it takes to end you is one moment of stupidity from you and your idiotic squad! There are no 'next times' out there!"

"What, don't tell me next time you won't save me just as heroically?"

Levi could not believe the gall of this woman. He had pulled her from the mouth of a titan at the last possible moment and she thought that a joking matter?

"Maybe I won't," he said viciously. "People with a death wish deserve to have their wish fulfilled."

"Look in the mirror, rage dwarf," she snapped at him and for a few minutes, speaking became impossible. At one stage when their blows became particularly vicious, feet moved in their direction hurriedly, but shouts from the crowd made whoever had wanted to interfere back off.

He recognized the boots for what it was worth: Petra.

It came to an eventual stalemate, with her head caught between his legs and his head caught between hers. Panting heavily, Levi thought about applying more pressure to make her black out but his wound hurt like hell and his rage had strangely dissipated. Better to be an adult and give her an opportunity to yield without losing face.

"Slacking off?" she growled and rammed her elbow into Levi's stomach with brute force. His vision wavered and he saw stars, heard himself make a rather pitiful sound somewhere between pain and surprise as the crowd roared in excitement.

That's when he swore never to be nice to her again.

That was also when the door opened and the room went utterly still around them.

After blinking away blood from his eyes, Levi understood why: Commander Erwin was standing in the door frame looking at the scene before him with the most incredulous face any human being could make. Then, the face changed to anger... only to slowly turn into a mask of bitter disappointment.

Strangely enough, it was that last emotion on Erwin's face that gutted Levi. The regret he felt tasted bitter in his mouth.

"Shit," Hange whispered. "He's always so depressed on his birthday."

They came to their feet somehow, helping each other stand. Levi's leg wouldn't carry him anymore, the leg of his trousers was soaked through with blood, but Hange lent him her arm, leaning against him heavily at the same time for support.

"You two," Erwin said, his voice as cold and merciless as his eyes, "follow me out. Now."


	2. The Perfume

'Follow me out' turned out to mean 'follow me up an insane amount of steps'. Zoë shook her head a few times, hoping it would clear a little, but the motion made her feel even dizzier. The ale the new owner of this establishment served was probably going to make them all go blind. Or worse. A silent, agonizingly slow, painful walk of shame up many stairs into a small chamber ensued. A stuffy chamber with a flickering candle, a bed with rumpled bed sheets, two chairs and the unmistakable, flowery sweet scent of perfume in the air barely masking a wilder, musky scent underneath.

Had Erwin been with a woman?!

Some of the members of the Survey Corp kept a secret book in which they recorded all kinds of crazy, often gruesome bets. One drunken night a few months ago, someone had started a bet on Commander Erwin's ... preferences. The wager was high. Had she just lost a really large sum of money? Damn.

Zoë threw Levi a look from the side. Had he noticed the signs too? Was he disappointed? No telling with this one. He looked straight ahead with his usual non-expression, only the dark circles underneath his eyes standing out even more than usual. There was a lot of blood on him. It was maybe a little disturbing, but the crimson smudges on his face were quite a turn on. Just like that clenched jaw chiseled to perfection and that stubborn, displeased mouth of his.

The stupid idiot also happened to be at the top of the list of Erwin's possible partners in the betting book, with even more of her money at stake.

Yes, Erwin and Levi made a beautiful couple, she thought as she gazed at them in rapture. One tall and fair, the other small and dark. But despite these visual differences, they were strikingly alike. Both stoic and grim and dead serious about everything. Both among the greatest hopes for humanity. Both ready to die for the cause. Both broody types who drove curious people like her crazy with their tight-lippedness and secrecy. Rocks, both of them, to chisel away at, chip by chip, until they were mere pebbles that she could stick into her pockets.

"So?" Erwin grumbled. "Do you have an explanation?"

His presence in this small room was rather daunting. He radiated a cold, dangerous fury that made her hair stand on end. Not a pebble, this one... a rock, a jagged mountain. Ready to squash her.

She cleared her throat.

Erwin's eyebrows went up. Always a sight to behold.

"Well?" he said, his eyes boring into hers.

"Yeah," Zoë said, finding her voice quite hoarse. She pushed her glasses up with one finger. Man, she was thirsty. And exhausted. Not losing to Levi had cost her all her strength. And he had pulled his punches, the insulting dwarf.

"No 'he started it - she started it'?" Erwin asked. "That's more than I expect from you."

"He started it," Zoë answered quickly, "I thought that went without saying."

Erwin's eyebrows stayed up. Of course he didn't believe her, he wasn't stupid. But Levi remained silent. The idiot wouldn't even defend himself? She had provoked him relentlessly, all day long. His violent reaction had been sweet triumph. She couldn't stand his simmering, quiet anger, it made her feel like the biggest fool. Yes, she had made a mistake. Yes, it had endangered her squad and as a consequence, his. Yes, she felt sorry. And yes, she was very grateful he had saved her.

But she hated that he had done so at the risk of his own life and while breaking at least ten rules. She hated that he had gotten wounded because of her but didn't in the least care. Zoë sighed deeply after another glance at his stubborn face. Maybe she should just have apologized like a normal human but it was a bit late for that now.

The wound on his leg was bleeding again. It was from a pointy Titan tooth, one that had wanted to sink into her. He could have lost that leg and what then? They'd be fucked. Their kill score had doubled since Levi had joined them. He was remarkably apt at killing monsters. Humanity needed him. They _all_ needed him. But he just flaunted his disdain for them in their faces, every single day, from some darkened corner in whatever room they found themselves in. Always brooding, judging, finding them beneath his standards.

But did he? She wasn't sure she really knew him. Zoë was standing close enough now to notice the small tremors racking his body. It was sheer willpower that kept him standing straight. He obviously went through a lot of effort to appear unperturbed.

"Permission to sit?" she asked Erwin, eyeing the chairs behind them.

"No," their commander refused flatly. "If you can make such a spectacle of yourselves in a tavern, you can stand to receive a punishment."

Silence. Threatening stares. At least she was feeling more sober by the minute.

"What does that badge you carry over your heart signify?" Erwin asked.

Zoë's eyes traveled down to her left side. Oups. She wasn't wearing her uniform jacket anymore. It was downstairs somewhere.

"It's the S..."

"I want _him_ to answer," Erwin cut her short gruffly.

But Levi just pressed his ever-pouting lips together. Little daredevil. Taking on Erwin in such a mood! If they were not lovers then best of friends at the very least. Who else would dare?

"I'm waiting," Erwin said.

"Freedom," Levi pressed out. And murmured something under his breath that sounded quite distinctly like 'suck my dick'. She almost laughed out loud. Almost. Erwin was in super-scary mode and she knew better than to anger him further.

"And what is freedom?"

"Being able to see the sun, breathe in the fresh air," Levi answered gravely and took a deep breath. "Being outside the walls."

"Yes. Because it is humanity's right. It's what we fight for. It's what we risk our lives for."

Levi pressed his lips together again.

"I never forced you to stay with us," Erwin continued darkly. "Even if I admit I forced your hand to join the Survey Corps in the first place. But _you_ chose to remain. _You_ wanted to fight for freedom. And I am very grateful because you, Levi, are one of the best... maybe _the_ best soldier I ever had the pleasure to know. But I cannot keep making excuses for your goddamn attitude."

Silence. Zoe began to fidget. This little lover's spat was extremely awkward to witness. It was like eavesdropping on something so intimate it had to happen behind closed bedroom doors.

"Acknowledge you have understood what I'm saying," Erwin snapped.

"Okay."

"It's 'Yes, sir', dammit!"

"Yes, s... fuck this."

Erwin stared down at Levi with hard eyes and Levi stared back with so much defiance, Zoë thought the shabby curtains may burst into flame.

"If you don't even want to try to follow discipline, leave. Leave now," Erwin growled. "I hear the underground is awash in blood these days, with several gangs fighting for power. I'm sure your attitude would be much appreciated down there."

Zoë winced. Cruel. Levi wasn't that bad. Well, okay, he was insufferable almost always but he had his good sides. For example, he... _he knows the dirtiest, most obscene swear words_ , she thought impressed. _And he is absolutely fearless. I like that_.

"I don't think that it's fair to r...," she began what was going to be a passionate defense of Levi.

"Shut up!" Erwin yelled at her.

She clamped her mouth shut. Okay. Maybe he hadn't been with a woman after all. Wouldn't he be satisfied and sated if he had? Someone on edge like this had to be sexually frustrated big time.

"I get it," Levi ground out. "I know the rules."

"Oh really?" Erwin's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"I know I shouldn't have hit Hanji, at least not in front of those newbies."

"You need to learn how to _talk_ to people, Levi," Erwin sighed. "You use your mouth for that, not your fists in civilized society."

No response. Erwin sighed more deeply and briefly rubbed his forehead. Poor Erwin. He didn't deserve this much stress on his birthday.

"I need to inform you that there was a formal complaint lodged against you yesterday, Levi. About you and Petra. It involves a list of your transgressions as her superior, including sexual misconduct."

"Huh?!" Levi made a hasty step forward but his leg almost gave way under him. Zoë extended her hand to steady him but he slapped it away, finding his balance on his own.

"What asshole would do such a thing?" Zoë exclaimed outraged. "Who was it?"

"I will not tell you, Zoë. But maybe it's the same person who will submit a complaint against you and Zacharias soon?"

"Oh?" That bit of kissing and touching? Tsk. How did Erwin even know about it? "That's not serious."

"We have a rule. You both know it. But maybe you need some time to go over them again because your behavior of late tells me you have forgotten all of them."

Did he mean the "no banging while on a mission"-rule? She lived by that like everybody else. They might occasionally be a little insane in the Corps but never batshit crazy. Or maybe it was another rule... Zoe wrinkled her nose. There were a lot of them in two thick volumes. The righteous people one hundred years ago had thought of many things the military shouldn't do.

"I trust Petra and her capabilities as a soldier," Levi said with a dangerous edge in his voice, "that is all."

"You do not need to convince me," Erwin said stiffly. "Nor do you need to defend yourself. I know what kind of person you are. But other people don't know you. You have enemies, Levi. Some people never got over the fact that you were promoted to Captain so quickly. Some still think it was a mistake to let someone from the underground join the military. Some are just plain jealous that you're so skilled. Some...," at this point, Erwin sighed again, "why can't you keep your rude opinions to yourself when we're in the inner city? You've managed to offend pretty much every single person of consequence."

"Fragile egos," Levi mumbled. "Not my problem."

"Whatever the reason they don't like you," Erwin continued, "these people are eager for you to misstep. So just _don't_. Don't give them the pleasure. Try a little harder. Do you understand?"

"Yes. S... ir," Levi almost choked on that last bit and Zoë suddenly felt an urge to ruffle his hair.

"And you will goddamn leave him alone!" Erwin thundered at Zoë who jumped back a step in shock, "you're making everything a thousand times worse! Find someone else to poke at. Levi is no test subject of yours! Study horses and how to breed them for even more endurance or something."

"Horses, sir?" Zoë scratched her head. How had the conversation changed from Levi to horses?

"Yes, horses," Erwin confirmed. "You are both confined to barracks for fifteen days."

"Fift..."

"Why, you want more?"

"N... no, sir," Zoë quickly backpaddled. Fifteen days??! For bloodying each other's noses?!

"Plenty of time to re-familiarize yourselves with the rules of the military and reflect upon your abject behavior while you sit on your asses. Once we others return from our mission, you will be prepared to..."

"What do you mean?" Levi interrupted him.

"I received orders tonight. We're headed out. All of us, the day after tomorrow. Minus you two."

"You cannot do this!" Levi protested. "Without me, you guys will..."

"You are dismissed," Erwin interrupted him and pointed to the door. "Pick up your things downstairs and go back to HQ. Your confinement starts tonight."

###

Getting down the insane amount of steps was even worse than going up. Step by agonizing step Levi had to concentrate hard on not falling. His arms were already shaking with exhaustion and they hadn't even cleared the first landing. Everything fucking hurt, everything about him was unclean. But he didn't even have enough strength to feel disgusted about the state of the railing he was clinging to nor could he muster enough outrage at having been scolded like a child.

How _dare_ Erwin threaten to take the one thing he actually cared for away from him. How dare he.

"You alright?" Zoë asked from further down.

"Fuck off," he hissed at her.

He was so embarrassed. He hadn't even known he cared for Hange's good opinion but apparently, he did. And Erwin had trampled all over it, deliberately, the manipulating bastard. Sexual misconduct with Petra? It was goddamn infuriating that someone would spread such evil lies about a woman as kind and caring as her.

"You're dripping blood all over the stairs," Zoë observed. "You need to see a doctor. Stay at home when you're wounded next time, okay?"

Was it because he had shown Petra that neat 3DMG trick the other day? It was true, he _had_ had to touch her hips to show her how to tilt her body before the turn. If one wanted to be a prick, it could be seen as indecent... but how else should he have taught her? How did the instructors in the Training Corps do it? He should maybe pay them a visit to learn... Had he treated her differently than the other members of his squad? She was the one with the biggest potential and he had thought it well-worth his time to show her how to get better. Well, he also liked her. Who wouldn't. And he trusted her. Maybe she was a bit of a favorite... maybe it showed. He would have to teach the whole squad in the future, even if that was far less effective. Why did everything always have to be so fucking com...

"Oi! I'm talking to you, nitwit!"

Startled, Levi looked up and found himself face to face with Hange who hand planted her feet onto the stairs to glare up at him. He planned to stay away from her in the future. _Far_ away. If he wanted to convince Erwin he could follow discipline, he had to remove himself from her ever-enraging presence.

But he noticed the pronounced swelling underneath her left eye and it made him feel bad. It was where he had hit her. He really shouldn't have. Erwin was right, he had to do better.

"Sorry about this, Hanji," he said gruffly and extended his hand to touch the colorful bruise.

Her skin was hot and his hand was cold, both soothing the other, kinda perfect. For a weird, discomforting moment, time slowed down to zero, her huge, startled eyes behind the glittering glasses the only thing he could see.

But he blinked and the moment passed - and he quickly cleaned his hand on his trouser leg. His filthy trouser leg. Oh god, everything was so fucking unclean he felt like screaming.

"I'm sorry too, Levi," Hange said, strangely breathless, and for the life of him he didn't know why he blushed like a boy at the gentleness in her voice.

Fuck this shit, Erwin had messed with his head big time.

Seething, Levi shouldered past Zoë, almost lost his balance, gripped the railing with both hands to steady himself and descended the stairs as fast as he possibly could.

At the bottom, the wench with the golden locks and the violet eyes was waiting for him, wringing her hands and biting her lip.

Exactly what he needed.

"You," he snapped at her, "come with me."

"Uhm, Levi?" Hange called from above him, "don't pull your punches next time, it's insulting."

"There won't be a next time," Levi scoffed as he put his arm around the girl's shoulders, leaning on her to take some pressure off his throbbing leg but not burdening her with his full weight. "And don't you dare come looking for me in the next fifteen days, I will be busy."

###

With the girl's help, Levi made it back to HQ without blacking out, managed to grab a bottle of painkillers, gauze, bandages, needle, thread and disinfectants from the deserted infirmary, opened the door to his room and sunk into his arm chair with a muffled groan.

Made it. Wouldn't get up again for fifteen days. Didn't care at all about Erwin's arm pulling or military rules. Or titans. Missions. Freedom. Fuck it all.

But there was the girl standing by the door, wringing her hands again, her eyes roaming over him and the sparsely furnished room in a lost, frightened manner.

"Light the lamp," he pointed at the oil lamp with his chin. While she fumbled around with the flint, he poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher on the table and threw back a handful of pills. The oil lamp flickered and came to life, bathing his meager possession in gentle, orange light.

His trousers were thoroughly ruined. His shirt too. But first, he needed to get out of his harness. Which required him to keep his hands steady enough to open the goddamn buckles. Which proved to be impossible.

"I shall help you," the girl offered and came towards him bravely. When he didn't object, she started working on the straps, slipping them through the buckles one by one, soon able to pull the harness away from him. Carefully, she untangled it and placed it on the table.

"Shall I take off your boots next?" she asked.

He nodded, right before remembering the knife he hid in there. He snatched it out and she jumped backwards at the sight of the gleaming metal, apparently in possession of some survival instincts - or bad experience.

"I won't hurt you," he said before he cut his trousers open over the wound with one swift movement.

"Oh my god," she breathed.

"Can you sew?" he asked.

She nodded, her eyes glued to his ruined thigh with something that looked very much like gruesome fascination. But who was he to judge the freaks of this world.

"I need you to suture my wound again and bandage me."

"Yes," she said. "I can do that."

It wasn't a surprise to him that someone from the underground knew how to stitch up human flesh - she obviously wasn't doing it for the first time. It hadn't gotten easier to survive down there since he had left. What had Erwin said? A bloodbath because of some gang wars? Everyone who made it above ground could consider themselves lucky. As could those who died a quick, painless death down below. But those who had to come up for work in the night to go down again in the morning... they were the most pitiful creatures of them all.

"I need warm water," she said after she was done and had made a pretty double knot. "To clean the wound better."

"There's always hot water in the kitchen," he ground out, the pain making his head buzz. "It's downstairs. East Wall."

She left and Levi focused on breathing in and out, in and out, in and out, his world narrowing to nothing but hot-blinding pain, becoming duller as time passed, finally retreating to the edges of his awareness when the painkillers kicked in.

Time to think.

Some time later, the girl came back, panting loudly with two large buckets full of steaming water in her hands.

"I will wash you," she informed him after closing the door with her foot.

She pulled his ruined clothing from him and chucked it into a corner, began to remove the blood and dirt from his body with a cloth, disinfected the nastiest cuts and lacerations, even dunked his head into one of the buckets to wash his hair with a bar of soap she pulled from her skirts.

"What's your name?" he asked her when she was done toweling his head and stood to the side, watching him warily.

"Maria," she said.

Which idiot named their daughter after a wall?

"Who sent you?"

She blinked.

"Leave," he said. "There's money in the bag by the door. Take as much as you want. I'm not interested in anything else you can offer."

"Don't you like women?" she lifted her chin defiantly.

"No. I hate them."

"Oh. I wasn't aware..."

"I hate men too," he added, narrowing his eyes at her obstinacy. "You're not my type at all and I don't sleep with prostitutes anyway, you should have done your research."

She pressed her trembling lips together. She was clearly offended, which amused him. But there was something else in her eyes. Fear. A lot of it. Whom was she afraid of? Not him apparently because she had touched him with no qualms or reservations. Did she have an ulterior motive? Of course. But he was beyond caring for the moment. He had let her touch him and she had been gentle, a favor in a moment of need he wouldn't easily forget.

"You can sleep on the bed," he said. "You can stay until the morning. No need to be afraid."

The small sounds of her regular breathing was occasionally interrupted by a faint whimper as she fell into a restless sleep. It was an unwanted distraction, a reminder of things he had sought to forget, making his sleep just as restless as hers and his dreams violent.

Much later, the rest of the Survey Corps came back, their rowdy laughter drifting up to his window from the courtyard. He thought he heard Hange's manic laughter.

Levi had been on edge all day.

Now he understood why. His past was reaching out for him. He had immediately recognized the perfume in Erwin's room - it belonged to someone he had no wish to ever see again unless it was to slice open her throat.

But why the heck had she approached Erwin?

Turning his knife in his fingers faster and faster until it was nothing but a blur, Captain Levi sat in his chair and waited for the dawn. Let it come, his past. He was ready.


	3. A Proposition

Mike Zacharias was a very tall, exceptionally well-built, and thoroughly manly man. He also was a meticulous shaver. And since Zoë Hange enjoyed watching men do manly things meticulously, she found considerable pleasure in the spectacle performed in front of her mirror this morning. All the more so since Zach wore nothing but a small towel slung around his midriff, showing off the details of his powerful physique. While he was meticulous, she leisurely ran through the names of the muscles she recognized: _Soleus. Ga... Gastrocnemius. Vastus. Biceps femoris. Gracilis_...

But as she began pondering the technical difficulties of cutting leg muscles to immobilize Titans - aiming that low accurately on a moving target was darn difficult out in the open - she found herself distracted by thoughts of somebody else’s shapely legs and their current state.

After sleeping off a horrible hangover the day before - this house arrest had benefits, allowing her to stay in bed for the first time in forever - she had found herself wondering about him for the first time. In her case, wondering about something was often the beginning of more, namely experiments, excitement, and explosions, so she always took her wonderings seriously.

“Do you know anyone in the Corps who hates Levi?” he asked Mike.

“I hate him. He hit you,” Zacharias answered, carefully cleaning his razor in a bowl with water, then feeling both his cheeks for left-over whiskers.

“Pfft, he can hit me anytime he wants.”

“You didn’t just say that,” Mike said and turned around, eyebrows raised at her. She shrugged.

“I’m serious. Do you know anyone in the Corps who hates him?”

“Everyone hates him. He's insane.”

“If you knew you had to ride out tomorrow and you would face, let’s say… a group of twenty titans, who would you take with you for backup?”

“Levi of course,” Mike turned around again and bent close to the mirror to study his chin from all angles.

“So you don't hate him.”

“I do. I just value my life more.”

“I don’t get it,” Zoë leaned back against her pillows and stared up at the ceiling.

“That I value my life more than I mind Levi?”

“No… I don’t get why he does not want to be part of us. I’ve tried.”

A hundred times spurned. _I’m tired - Leave me alone - Go talk to somebody else_ \- _Piss off - Don’t you dare come looking for me in the next fifteen days, I will be busy._ That’s all he ever said.

Except for… _Sorry about this, Hanji_.

Zoë swallowed. How drunk had she been to find that string of words and the fleeting touch… erotic?

“We’ve all tried,” Zach grumbled. “It’s because he’s crazy. And because he’s from the underground, he just doesn’t belong here with us. And he knows it.”

Zoë scrambled up. “But should it matter where he came from? The Survey Corps was never about connections! We’re all the same: Wackos. Why else would we do this?”

Mike shrugged and took off the towel to dry his face with it. “Sure. But everybody still knows that you're a Hange. Or that I’m a Zacharias and my family is stinking rich. You can dream about an egalitarian system all you want. Only Levi is... _just_ Levi. Nobody knows who his father is.”

“He could be the discarded bastard of one of the princes…?”

Zacharias laughed. “Do you read those crap romance novels too? Yeah, he could be. Who from the royal family is barely taller than a child? It’s your most likely candidate.”

“I think he didn’t get enough food when he was little,” Zoë said.

“I heard his mother was a prostitute.”

“And I was disowned for cross-dressing.”

Zach made an exasperated sound and began looking for his pants. Zoë pointed at them in the corner. Was this the beginning of a fight? It felt like it.

“You know what, Zoë? I don’t really hate Levi - but that’s going to change if you don’t stop talking about him.”

“I’m just curious,” she said defensively.

“Yeah, that’s the problem.”

Mike wiggled his shapely calves, thighs and backside into his uniform pants and shook his head again. “Don’t waste your time. He’s not interested in you.”

Zoë gasped. “Seriously, what are you suggesting? I’m not that kind of curious. I am curious about… him! I mean… about his story. Why he’s so damn fast. Why he’s better than everyone, including you, with no formal training. Why he sat on a horse and knew to ride from one day to the next. That kind of thing.”

“Then it’s good you’ll be alone with him for fifteen days,” Zacharias said drily. “Plenty of time to unravel the Levi-mystery while we die _en masse_ out there.”

Zoë sighed. Mike was heading out today and she really didn’t want this to be their last conversation. The chances of returning were never great and with Levi staying here...

“Oh, I wanted to ask you,” she suddenly remembered, sitting up and groping around underneath her bed. “Did you also bet on Erwin’s preferences a while ago?”

“Excuse me?!”

Zoë pulled out “The Book” as it was called in the Corps and began leafing through it.

“Wait… why is your name not in here at all?”

“Maybe because I don’t bet?” He bent over the pages to look. “Almighty, are you crazy?! That's almost a year’s wages!”

“And I lost it,” she murmured, “and much more. I should have told the others that Erwin likes women and Levi does too, they will get such a nice sum of money, but I forgot yesterday and now it's too late. For my conscience, could you tell Moblit, Henning, Nanaba,...”

“The _hell_ I’ll get involved in this,” Mike sounded truly outraged.

Zoë blinked at him.

“My mother was very religious. Betting is right up there with gluttony and fornication. I promised her never to become a sinner.”

“And what we’re doing isn’t…”

“No,” he said resolutely and pulled his shirt over his head.

“But you know we’re breaking a rule, do you?” she said teasingly.

From the shocked expression on his face, she guessed he didn’t.

“Erwin said so when he lectured Levi. I’m not quite sure which rule he means though…”

“Commander Erwin knows about us!?”

“Seems so,” Zoë yawned. “I guess he watches everyone very closely, all the time. Creep.”

“That’s not good,” Zacharias frowned. “I’ll have to talk to him.”

“Whatever for?!”

“To… clarify things. That… well. I guess it’s good that I’m leaving. I can't seem to stay away from you these days. You're… very beautiful. And I… ” He looked at her with an expression that made her feel thoroughly uncomfortable.

Beautiful? Nobody had ever called her beautiful before - because she wasn’t, not even in an abstract or metaphorical kind of way. She didn’t mind at all, she had always rejoiced in being mistaken for a boy before developing the basics of a female figure because… not being beautiful had only benefits in the military. And the military was the one place where she could be who she wanted to be.

“Yes,” she said and began to look for her shirt, “I guess it’s good that you’re leaving.”

He sighed longingly.

“You’re a fool if you’re getting attached,” she said quietly, avoiding his eyes. And then she remembered… the rule. _You shall have no attachments to your fellow soldiers beyond the absolutely necessary. Steel your heart and kill your soul or you will suffer the consequences._

Shit, and now she was sad. It was going to be a long fifteen days.

###

It took exactly four hours and twenty minutes for her to seek him out after the Corps had left. He had expected her earlier.

“Come in,” he said at her impatient knock that was immediately followed by a second, even more impatient rap, put his book down and folded his hands in front of him.

“Levi!” she beamed, “here you are.”

“Yes, it’s my room,” he remarked drily. She was wearing a full uniform, including the harness. Had she hoped like him that Erwin would let her ride with them after all? Seeing them leave had been like a punch to the gut. Erwin certainly knew that every death during this expedition would weigh heavy on Levi’s conscience, which was the true punishment here.

“Indeed,” she said, curiously turning her heads to all sides. “Why is it so small?”

Levi shrugged. “All I got from Erwin.”

“Really? That seems unfair, you’re a Captain!” she frowned and looked again more thoroughly though there was nothing much to see except for a cup of tea, water and a half-full bottle of painkillers.

“Not really,” he shrugged, “it’s the one I chose. Big rooms make me uncomfortable.”

Or something like that. In truth, he simply hadn’t bothered looking at the other available rooms. This one suited his needs perfectly well.

She stepped inside.

“Are you busy?” she asked, her eyes gleaming. Zoë Hange was fired up and Levi wasn’t sure whether to be apprehensive or intrigued about it.

“I told you I was. I also told you not to bother me.”

She studied him from head to toe. “You’re not busy.”

“I’m reading.”

“Oh, what are you reading?”

He picked the book back up. “ _Irrigation and crop rotation_ by Ingo Menkhoff,” he read the title.

Her eyes grew bigger. “Why? Do you want to become a farmer?”

“Why not? Farming is important.”

She frowned. “Are you holding the book upside down?”

He checked. “No.”

The truth was that he didn’t know half the technical terms in this stupid book and had already considered throwing it at the wall several times. It was so boring he felt like ripping it to pieces. It was however the book he had randomly grabbed from the shelf in the library earlier and he always finished the books that he started.

“How is your leg?”

Everybody could see it was still heavily bandaged.

“Find someone else to bother.”

“There is no one else. You saw them ride out too.”

“I saw plenty of people in the courtyard earlier.”

“They’re stable boys.”

“Then go bother stable boys, I’m sure they’ll love the attention.”

“But I don’t want to bother stable boys. What did Erwin tell you before he left?”

So she had noticed. A sharp woman who liked to poke her nose into everything. But he had noticed that Erwin had talked to _her_ on the side and of course he wondered what it had been about. Not that he’d ask her.

“To punish you for any transgressions,” he lied. “He expects you to defy his orders. And he stressed you have to learn all the military rules. By heart.”

In truth, Erwin had told Levi to be vigilant and had stressed that not getting into trouble was paramount. He was concerned about some ongoing political argy-bargy, which could have severe consequences for the military branches. Which always meant for the Survey Corps alone because both the Garrison and the Military Police were chummy with the nobility. Erwin believed that the current mission to secure some long abandoned outpost was just a ruse to get him out of the city.

Not the time to ask him about his nightly visitor, Levi had decided. And not the time to tell him that even if Levi did everything to stay out of trouble, trouble might come to him.

“What? Only me?! What about you?”

“I already know them,” Levi smirked.

“How?”

“I just do,” he shrugged.

She studied him, her head tilted to the side.

“Like you just knew how to ride a horse? And needed no 3DMG education to be a hundred times better than all of us?”

“Yeah,” he said and focused his eyes on the book again.

Of course, she didn’t leave. Instead, she stepped over to the table and…

“Put that down,” he hissed, ripping his knife from her hands.

“Goddamit, you’re fast,” she breathed, hitting his elbow skillfully so that his arm went slack and grabbed it back.

And let it drop inside her blouse.

He glowered up at her, feeling the familiar irritation he always felt when she was near. Oh, did she think he couldn’t get it there? Or wouldn’t? She really didn’t know the fire she was playing with.

“Give it back,” he said coldly.

“No,” she smirked.

Levi hesitated. And hated that he did, but Zoë Hange wasn’t just anyone. She was someone he respected. Someone he might even have admired, in another lifetime. She was honorable, brave, and at least ten times smarter than him.

“I have a proposition,” she said and leaned forward.

And she smelled nice. Despite all the dirt she liked to heap upon her person at every opportunity, despite her hair that always looked like a titan had chewed it up, she smelled like something Levi associated with the sun and the sky and the wind that shook the grass.

“It better be good,” he growled, definitely intrigued now.

“You will teach me how to use a knife,” Zoë said.

“You know how to use a knife,” he replied, still intrigued.

“But not like you,” her eyes danced with excitement.

“And what is in it for me?” he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You will teach me how to use a knife.”


	4. A Lesson

Had they just had a conversation like normal human beings? Yes, they had! Quite giddy with this unexpected, fast success, Zoë skipped down the stairs. And he was finally, _finally_ going to show her some of his awesome tricks! It had only taken her 4 months to get him to agree to it. Another 4 and they’d be best of friends. Another 4 and they’d be… hm, what? Kissing?

“This way,” he said, pointing his chin at the… kitchen?

“Are we hungry?” she frowned.

No answer. Levi shouldered the door open and entered the large room that always smelled heavenly of fresh bread and apple tart. Hmm, maybe she _was_ hungry? Suddenly salivating, Zoë craned her neck to locate a treat… when Levi swiveled around impossibly fast, grabbed her by the straps around her hips, turned her upside down and shook her.

 _Clang_.

“Here it is,” he sounded content as he dropped her on her head and bent down beside her.

“You… ouch!”

“Mine,” he said and held up the knife in front of her eyes, “don’t ever touch it again.”

With that, he turned around and continued walking forward. Wavering between embarrassment and outrage, Zoë scrambled back on her feet and hurried after him.

“You little…”

“And close that top strap,” he said over his shoulder.

Zoë looked down at herself.

“That one,” he said, stopping and turning around. Expecting another humiliation, Zoë lifted her hand in defense, but Levi just leaned forward a little to lash the harnish strap over her breasts. “You forgot to secure it.”

Zoë stared down at his expressionless face. His eyes, she noticed, were dark grey like the sky before a vicious storm. He wasn’t wearing the Survey Corps uniform, but black trousers and a nicely ironed, floral white shirt. And that ascot. Why would someone always put on an ascot? Did he need to hide his throat? Was it disfigured?

“Always check your equipment at least twice,” he lectured her, turning around again. “Such sloppiness could cost you your life.”

He had rendered her speechless, which was a new, befuddling experience for Zoë.

“You cannot just…,” she remembered the brush of his hands over the most sensitive skin with a rush of blood to her face. “... touch my breasts,” she stammered at his frown.

“I didn’t notice any,” he huffed and bent over a work table near the wall. “Besides, don't put any unsheathed knives there, idiot.”

“I didn't…”

“If I had recently sharpened it, you might have lost the rest of your inexistent breasts.”

“I have breasts!” She bristled, “I just bind them really tightly because…”

“Come over here,” he said, holding up two knives he had taken from the counter top, weighing them in his palms. “One of those will have to do.”

“Are we fighting with real blades!?”

He didn’t deign to answer. Excitement surged through her. “We use wooden replicas in the training corps.”

“No wonder you're all hopeless,” he grumbled. “Show me your grip.”

She grabbed the one from his left hand. He nodded, took it back and handed her the other.

“This one is better,” he decided. “Don't grip it so hard, you will tire your muscles.”

He motioned to her to follow him and they went out into the courtyard together. It was deserted. The echoing emptiness gave her a sudden jolt of apprehension - ever since joining the Corps five years ago, she had always been surrounded by her comrades, day and night. Seeing their headquarters so empty gave her the creeps. Luckily, she wasn’t one to believe in superstitions like bad omens and such crap, but she still hurried to catch up to the only other soldier around.

Personally unfazed, Levi looked up and squinted into the sun, then walked to a corner that would stay in shadow for a while.

“Footwork first,” he said, “no knives.”

“Yes?” Zoë stomped her legs.

“You want to take off those boots, they slow you down,” Levi said and bent down to untie his own black shoes.

“Stay light and agile,” he told her once she had put her boots to the side and was wiggling her toes. “And always out of the kicking range of your opponent.”

Zoë quickly measured the length of his legs and drew an imaginary circle in her head. _Wump_.

“Fuck,” she grunted from the ground. He had kicked her legs out under her.

“Too close,” he said above her. “Again.”

They danced around each other in a circle for a while. Levi did a few feints, she jumped back to keep the distance. Then he rushed her and… _wump_. She groaned.

“Again,” he said, offering a hand to pull her up, “you’re too slow. Watch me.”

 _Wump_. She didn’t even see him move, dammit. One moment he was over there, the next he kicked her.

“Again.”

 _Wump_.

“Again.”

 _Wump_.

“Again.”

And the bastard wasn’t even breathing hard nor was his injured leg causing him any apparent trouble. Zoë’s world narrowed down to his dancing figure, his bare feet, his hands, his arms, his shoulders. And then her eyes locked with his… the eyes that were not leaving hers even for a second.

Grey eyes of doom.

 _Wump_.

They changed ever so subtly before he moved forward. With a huge smile on her face, she rubbed her hurting backside. The next time, she was able to dodge - and he nodded. Oh, what praise.

“Okay, now timing.”

Frankly, Zoë was dying for some water but she feared he might lose interest in teaching her if she asked for a break so she straightened herself, wiped the sweat off her brow with her sleeve and nodded. That’s when she suddenly noticed they had drawn quite a crowd of spectators - stable boys, maids, kitchen staff…

“Get me something to drink, maybe?” she said under her breath, hoping one of them had good enough ears.

“You there,” Levi addressed one of the scrawny boys behind him, “get her some water.”

Zoë blinked as the boy sped away obediently, not sure whether Levi's sudden kindness was scaring her, when he pulled his knife from his trousers.

“And where do _you_ keep an unsheathed knife?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at him. “Are you not afraid of cutting off some… dangly bits?”

He snorted.

“Legwork and timing is all there is to knife fighting,” he explained. “You need to hit your opponent before, during or after he takes a shot at you. Go for his hand - and cut it. It’s called defanging the snake. It is physically impossible for anyone to hold a knife when the tendons, muscles and ligaments responsible for controlling that hand are severed.” He paused briefly. “Or even better, cut both. Some people are proficient with both hands.”

“Are you one of them?”

Levi just shifted his stance and lifted his hand with the knife. Of course he was. From the very first moment of seeing him fight, she had known that his skill level was so way above the rest of them they’d spend a lifetime trying to catch up.

“W… wait,” she said, gripping her knife a little harder. “What if I hurt you?”

He snorted again. “Really, Hanji? You’re as slow and clumsy as a cow. You won’t even be able to touch me.”

“Wanna bet I can?” she said with an excited smile.

“Are you that eager to lose a bet?”

Well, she simply _loved_ bets. And dares. And gambling.

“If I touch you, you… you… you will teach me again tomorrow!” she declared. Wow, she’d be able to surprise everyone once they got back with these new skills, she couldn’t wait!

“And if you don’t?” he said and the sudden malicious undertone in his voice gave her a short pause.

But “What do you want from me?” she challenged him brazenly. Her heart picked up its pace when his eyes slowly moved over her body and she felt heat creep up her neck.

“I want you to bath and wash your hair,” he said gruffly. “And I want you to stop bothering me.”

“That’s two things.”

“Teaching you should count as five.”

“Okay, fine. It’s a deal.”

Asshole.

So apparently, there was a split-second opening for slashing someone’s hand when they attacked. She didn’t see it, not once. He was no longer letting her monitor his eyes and she realized he had not come at her with full speed before. Quite possible this wasn’t his full speed either.

“You’re dead,” he said. The tip of his knife touched her side hard enough to make her wince, but never cut deep enough to draw blood. He was that skilled. “Again.”

“You’re dead.”

 _Poke_.

“You’re dead.”

 _Poke_.

“You’re dead.”

 _Poke_.

“Like a cow,” he said, twirled and sheathed his knife after a while. “Did you pay attention?”

“Of course I did,” she panted, accepting more water from eager urchins. They were bringing her buckets by now. Their little spot was no longer quite in the shade. It was hot for October. And she was _so frustrated_.

“I showed you all possible angles of attack,” he said. “Shame it’s the last lesson you’ll ever get because once you’d be more familiar with the possibilities, you might get a chance to see an attack coming.”

“What? We’re done?”

“ _You_ ’re done,” he said, his eyes doing their slow, insulting ‘you’re a mess’-sweep again. “Your arm is trembling too much.”

It was true. She was goddamn exhausted.

“I’m not that bad,” she bristled, wiping away a load of sweat from her face. “You’re just a lousy teacher.”

His face darkened. “You think so?”

She nodded furiously.

“But I learned it that way.”

She snorted. “You _know_ you’re an exceptional talent at this, right?”

He looked unconvinced.

“Normal people need a bit of theory first. I certainly do!”

“Theory.”

He said it like it was a dirty word.

“Yes, for example… you have to hold your hand like this, the knife like this… your legs need to be in this and this position. That’s theory. We use it to convey the basics of a skill.”

“What are you, a toddler?”

“Oh, fuck off,” she snapped at him. “People like you are infuriating. Have you never asked yourself why everybody looks up to you?”

An incredulous expression made him look even younger than usual. Like a boy who had just found out he made top of the class when he’d expected all his life to be at the bottom.

“I really need to pee,” she ground out, “but when I come back, I expect you to teach me theory, do you hear me? Or else!”

###

Levi watched Zoë wobble across the courtyard and felt his lips curl into a smile. He shook his wounded leg to loosen the cramped muscles. She wasn’t bad at all at this. Actually, the entire Survey Corps had quite impressive fighting skills. He didn’t quite understand why Erwin and now Zoë were praising him so much. The only problem was that their training focused solely on killing creatures at least five meters high, where hitting one particular spot in the right way always brought success.

With knife fights, there was no such easy recipe. Success was all about defense - only fools attacked. And besides, there was not much point in teaching these soldiers knife fighting skills because who among them would ever have to defend their life against hoodlums or murderers? No lowlife would dare venture near their headquarters.

Levi looked around himself and then at his dusty feet. He resisted his impulse to wipe them - even the dirt was clean here, it could wait. He surveyed his favorite shirt. Surprisingly clean though wrinkled; he should have taken it off at the start. Better preserve it in its current state though. Knowing Zoë, she would bug him endlessly about teaching her ‘theory’ after her return and to be frank… Levi took off his ascot and began to unbutton his shirt. He was enjoying himself quite a bit. Though maybe she had a point about him being a bad teacher? Maybe he could learn something from her.

He shrugged out of his shirt, put it on a peg that protruded from a support beam and considered his pristinely white linen undershirt. Better preserve that too.

“No, that’s not how he did it!”

“Did so, you loser!”

“Did not! He did it like so!”

A fight had broken out between two boys near him. They were armed with short sticks, holding them backhanded with the blade facing out. One was trying to convince the other of a slashing move. The other had a different opinion.

“You’re both wrong,” he grumbled and stepped over to put their limbs in the right position. He titled his head to study their form. “Yes, like this. Then move like this.”

He led one boy’s arm and then the other. Corrected them again. Had them execute the movements more slowly until they had it almost right.

“Captain Levi, you’re awwwwwwesome!” they both cried, their cheeks reddened, their eyes shining.

Oh geez. Not that.

“That kind of thinking will get you killed before you even get a chance to kiss a girl,” he told the tiny squirts sternly, his heart suddenly aching from the memory of a girl’s voice praising her ‘ _Aniki_ ’ to the moon.

“Ewwwww,” a choir of young children’s voices erupted around him, with girls and boys screwing up their faces in disgust.

Ha. Levi smirked. They had no idea.

“So you’re still here,” Zoë said behind him. “And you’re…”

He turned around, finding her staring at him with a weird expression. But when was she not weird. He noticed that her face was a little flushed and he motioned her to step into the shade a bit to the side since it was rather hot today.

“Tell those kids to scram,” he begged her in a low voice.

“Why?” she laughed. “They obviously adore you. Tell them yourself.”

Fine. “Do you have nothing else to do?” he grumbled at the flock of children that looked at him with eyes that made him very uncomfortable.

“No!” they cried in unison. “We want to see you fight! Please teach us too!”

“I didn’t know you’re such a favorite,” Zoë grinned and looked around for her knife. “Next round?”

“So I’ve been thinking,” he said, “about what you said. Theory. What we’re going to do is the following. I’m showing you one possible attack angle. And instead of trying to defend against me, you are going to copy my attack. Once you get that right, you attack, I defend. That way, you should understand what I mean by ‘an opening’.”

“Oh, goddie,” she beamed, rubbing her hands together. “That means I will win the bet!”

“You cheater!” He frowned. “The bet is off until the next proper fight!”

“Pah,” she pouted. “Okay.”

“But Hanji,” Levi cleared his throat. “I will have to… touch you.”

“Oh, you can touch me anytime you want!”

His eyebrows went up a fraction. And then, to his mortification, he blushed. This time, he couldn’t blame Erwin. But maybe he could blame the children whose excited chatter thrummed through his head and made it hard to concentrate.

“I mean…,” he cleared his throat again. “When I touched Petra in training…”

“Oh,” Hanji said, her face darkening. “Don’t worry. Nobody commits sexual misconduct in my presence. I’d simply geld you.”

“That’s good to know,” Levi grumbled.

“I’m ready!” she exclaimed. “Are you, children!”

“Yeeeeeees!” their excited voices rang out over the courtyard.

What the heck had he gotten himself into?

###

They ended a near-perfect afternoon eating their dinner up on the castellated roof. Dusk was falling and Zoë was cleaning the last crumbs of the apple pie out of the pan, making sure to lick her fingers one by one. Then, she sighed happily and leaned against the wall.

“Is there more wine?” she asked.

Levi bent forward and handed her one of the bottles. He had put his shirt back on. Shame, really. The theory lesson had gone spectacularly well, she thought, studying his profile from the side. And really… she didn’t mind him touching her to correct her stance and movement. Not at all.

4 months to get him to teach her something. 4 more months to be friends. 4 more months to kiss. And 4 more months to sleep together. Zoë laughed. If they survived this long.

He turned his face in her direction and looked at her.

“Just thinking about something,” she grinned. “Hey, look! The stars are out.”

He turned his eyes upwards and his features softened.

“They’re spinning round and round,” he said.

“No, we are.”

He scowled at her.

“Oh, I can show you!” he explained. “We just need to hang a huge pendulum from the ceiling and you will see that we are moving. I’ve done it before!”

“Huh,” he said, looking back up. “So why don’t we notice?”

“Maybe we do.”

She sure felt dizzy enough. Maybe due to the sun. The heat. The exhaustion. Or the wine. And… him. _Can you get drunk on someone’s presence?_ Zoë wondered. _I don’t even want to be attracted to him. He’s mean_.

But how could she not be? As sorry as she felt for betraying Mike like this, one afternoon with Levi was sufficient to make her stomach flutter when he looked at her. Why did he have to take his shirt off and flaunt these rippling muscles in her face? Completely oblivious, the little shit.

“That’s Ugly Titan there,” she said, pointing. “Do you see the bright star there to the right? It’s its eye.”

“They have names?” he frowned.

Hange laughed. “They do. Their official ones are boring though. I have given them different ones. Ugly Titan. Tall Titan. Look there… Winged Titan.”

“Let’s hope we never encounter one of those,” he murmured, staring up.

They fell silent for a while.

“I see Baby Titan,” he suddenly said. “There. Next to Ugly Titan.”

She continued to watch his face, wondering. Only this morning, Erwin had pulled her to the side. It already felt like a lifetime ago.

“Watch him,” he had said, his blue eyes boring into hers.

“I thought you wanted me to stay away from him?”

“That too,” Erwin had nodded sternly. “But we can’t lose him, Hange.”

“Why would we lose him?”

Erwin had pressed his lips together but had not offered any more information.

“I’m testing the spirit of the Corps when he's not around to slay ten times more titans than everyone combined,” he had told her. “I am not sure there is a way back to the time before Levi showed us what can be done.”

Erwin was keeping important information from her, but what options did she have?

“I will watch him,” she had confirmed, her eyes seeking out Levi’s lithe figure across the courtyard.

Man, but she was sleepy. Fighting the weight of her eyelids, she tried to catch another glimpse of his face in the deepening dark. He looked kind of sad.

“I’m sorry you lost your friends,” she said gently.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “I failed them. But at least they got to see the outside. Maybe it was worth dying for that.”

On an impulse, Zoë reached for his hand to press it. She knew what it felt like to lose friends and comrades. It always felt so fucking pointless.

Levi didn’t pull his hand away, but kept staring up at the sky.

“There are so many,” he whispered.

“There’s a theory that they are different worlds,” she told him. “That people are living there.”

“Huh,” he sounded impressed.

There was a sound down in the courtyard and Levi stiffened. He leaned forward to check and then swore low under his breath.

“What is it?” Zoë asked sleepily.

“Stay here,” Levi said and disappeared. Just like that.

Grumbling, Zoë sat up and peered over the balustrade.

Golden locks, a cloak barely hiding a shapely body and ample breasts. What, coming back for more?

“Bastard,” Zoë said into the night. He could at least have offered to help her clean up their dinner.


	5. A Warning

Hange woke abruptly in the dead of the night. Her head and heart pounding, she lay stockstill, expecting mayhem and carnage, but the quiet darkness around her held no such threat.

A nightmare, she realized. It had only been a _goddamn terrifying_ nightmare. The images were fleeing her awareness fast, making it impossible to hold on to more than a few impressions, but it left behind a deep, soul-shattering feeling of loss and sadness.

Zoë sat up with a suppressed whimper… she was bathed in sweat and everything about her hurt. Groping for her glasses, she lit a candle and dragged herself over to the window. There was a faint waning crescent moon in the Western sky. It had a red tinge to it and she couldn’t help but shudder at the sight.

After gulping down four large glasses of water, her body would finally stop shaking. Even if she had decided to believe only in what her eyes could see, her nanny’s superstitions were lodged deep inside her brain and interfered at their own convenience. _A waning crescent moon is a symbol for change, for life and death. If you gaze upon the moon’s face after a nightmare, bad things are sure to happen_.

Zoë opened one of her drawers and rummaged through its contents until she located the small wooden box she had put there a while ago. It contained dried leaves from a tree the Survey Corps had discovered during their last expedition. She hadn’t had enough time to ensure this plant had true medical use with no side effects, but that didn’t stop her from trying the leaves on herself. She took one out and put it into her mouth, chewing slowly. It was disgusting and bitter as gall, but immediately, a soothing numbness spread in her mouth and from there through her body like the first time she had taken one.

In the sparse light, she checked her injuries - all healing well. Calming herself further, she told herself that her muscles hurt from sheer exertion. Her backside hurt from falling on it countless times. Her feet hurt were cut from shuffling around barefoot in the courtyard. Nothing was out of the ordinary.

With a shaking sigh, Zoë grabbed her hair and tied it up into a loose ponytail. After changing into a clean, dry nightshirt, she put on her slippers and left her bedroom, a flickering candle held in front of her.

The hollow emptiness of the castle and the lurking shadows did nothing to quench her fears. In contrast, her anxiety skyrocketed and soon, her heart was beating so fast she could feel her pulse in her throat.

“Don’t be stupid, Hanji,” she told herself. “Look around you. Nothing bad has happened. Everyone is alive.”

 _He is alive_.

She only noticed where her feet had taken her when she stood before Levi’s room. She shook her head at herself. Really? But he had been in her nightmare, she was sure of it and some part of her had to…

The door swung open and there he stood. Scowling at her, fully dressed and not a hair out of place.

“I…,” she said, swallowing hard. “I couldn’t….”

“Something the matter?” he asked in a low voice, his eyes sweeping over her with disapproval.

“I wanted… no,” she gulped.

There were blonde locks on the pillow of his bed, a small body snuggling underneath the covers that slowly lifted and fell with his guest’s regular breathing.

“I’m sorry,” Zoë wanted to flee in mortification, but Levi stepped into the corridor, closing the door behind himself with a soft click.

“What is it?”

Zoë stopped in her tracks and turned around to face him. She felt so stupid.

“I had a nightmare,” she admitted, finding her voice shaking.

“Oh yeah?” he sounded disinterested.

“I had to see whether you were alright.”

“A nightmare with me in it?”

_Yes. And you were… you were…_

“You were a Titan,” Zoë remembered with a sudden shudder.

“Nice,” he said. “Did you kill me?”

Zoë shook her head.

“You should have. But I’m not a Titan as you can see,” Levi said, pointing to himself, “I’m not tall enough. And now, back to bed, Hanji. Stop skulking around, it’s putting me on edge.”

Zoë nodded but Levi had already closed the door behind himself. Another wave of embarrassment made her cringe. She had to get a grip on herself. Fast.

###

Zoe Hange slept in late the next morning, letting the sun tickle her out of bed. She felt rested enough, only the remnants of a headache reminding her of the night’s crisis. She washed her hair over the basin, combing it with her fingers before tying it up. She dressed and then set herself to work down in her laboratory.

First, she went through her notes and sorted them into similar topics. Then, she copied the most important observations into a new notebook, carefully weeding out useless tidbits. Pausing over her meager collection afterwards, she chewed on her quill. Her problem was that she didn’t have enough observations to come to any robust conclusions - and most certainly not enough _time_ to study titan individuals. The average time between them sighting a titan and that creature either dying or eating one of them alive was five minutes twenty three seconds, though Erwin’s genius scheme with the signal flares was likely to change that sad record in their favor.

They knew how to kill Titans with a forceful cut to the nape using special equipment, all thanks to her predecessors’ hard work and genius. However, it had taken humanity far too long to acquire that knowledge and their losses while implementing it were tremendous. The future of the Survey Corps had never looked grimmer even without politicians trying to sabotage them at every turn. They only received a rough 6-9% from each batch of freshly trained recruits. She had been part of expeditions with death tolls as high as 30%.

You didn’t need to be a math genius to see where that was leading in a force as small as theirs to begin with. But what if she could find another way to kill titans...? That question had lodged itself inside her brain tonight. It had taken root there because she had remembered that Dream Titan Levi had told her something: _Here_ , he had said, pointing at his body rippling with muscle, _study me anytime you want_.

Indeed, what if they could capture one alive…?

Her hands began to shake with excitement and her mouth watered at the thought of conducting experiments on one of those giants. If this dream should ever become reality, she had a lot of work to do. Ways to trap them. Ways to confine them. Ways to study them! Scribbling down ideas about contraptions, cages, materials, places, Zoë drew up a series of plans, her excitement fueling the fire of her mind.

She forgot everything else.

###

 _Bang_.

Shaking her head at a particularly silly but extremely exciting idea she had just had, Zoë looked around herself to locate the source of the sound. She squinted. Why was it so dark? Her eyes fell on the sputtering candles on her desk. Well, that answered that question. They were almost out.

Rummaging around the desk for new ones, she squealed in sudden alarm when a figure materialized from the shadows.

Levi!

“Here you are,” he said gruffly, setting his candle down in front of her. “You missed lunch. And dinner.”

Her stomach grumbled extensively in response.

“Oh,” Zoë looked up at the small windows near the ceiling to check the amount of daylight, finding it almost completely gone, “seems I got a little carried away.”

Smiling at him distractedly, she turned back to her notes. It was too early to tell him about her plans... or was it?

“Do you think you could catch a Titan alive instead of killing it?” she asked.

“Huh?”

He looked at her like he was questioning her sanity. She was used to these kinds of looks. It didn’t discourage her in the least, quite the opposite.

“Capturing a titan alive. So I can study it,” she said a bit more slowly so he would have no problem following her.

He just continued to stare.

“Yes or no?”

“I guess it could be done?” he answered. “I have no idea how though.”

“Oh, leave that to me!” she beamed. “But I’ll need your vertical maneuvering skills to draw one into a trap. Since you’re the least likely to die, you’ll be bait.”

“Okay?” he seemed slightly amused by that.

“Excellent!” she clapped her hands. “I’ll convince Erwin once he’s back. He’ll say no at first, of course, he always does, but I can change his mind, I always do. Oh boy, so much to think about!”

“You’re a total weirdo,” he muttered, starting to have a good look around her work room.

“What do you need?” she asked him, watching him walk around and stare at things intently in the semi-dark.

“Oh,” he cleared his throat, straightening up. “One of the kids told me they hadn’t seen you all day. When I was on my way to the library to get a new book I remembered and then I heard a sound and…”

He lifted up the book he was carrying under his arm. _Irrigation and crop rotation_ , was it? Must be a smash-hit for him to already be done with it. The library wasn’t this way at all but maybe he had gotten lost?

Levi wrinkled his nose. “What is this?”

Zoë craned her neck to see what he was pointing at.

“Oh, some kind of leaf we found on an expedition. One of the horses ate them when we rested under a tree and was behaving super strangely afterwards so I took them home to study.”

“And now _you’re_ eating them?!”

Zoë put her fingers into her mouth and drew out a sadly chewed up ball. How did he know?

“You reek of that stuff,” he explained gruffly.

“Yes, the leaf seems to have a pleasant effect on the human body and so far, there aren’t any side effects. I think?”

“I’m beginning to understand why idiots like Moblit or Mike feel an urge to hover so close. Some people are born with little to no self-preservation instincts,” he murmured, snapping the box shut angrily.

“You know what?” Zoë decided. “I’ll come to the library with you, there’s a book there I need to consult - about metallurgy.”

Maybe there existed a metal they could use for building cages she hadn’t yet thought of? It would be good if it wasn’t too rare. And not too heavy or they wouldn’t be able to move the cage.

Her joints protested loudly when she stood up and she groaned with all sorts of stiffness and pain as she stretched to all sides.

“Gotta pee and such, be right back.”

###

Levi was waiting for her outside the lab, leaning against the wall with his hand in the pockets of his black trousers when she reappeared. For a brief moment, Zoë was confused that he was still there. He could easily have gone to the library alone in the rather lengthy time it had taken her to empty her bladder and bowls.

“You didn’t want to train today?” he asked her casually when they continued on their way.

Oh.

“I… seem to have forgotten about that,” she confessed, throwing him an apologetic look. “Were you expecting me?”

“No,” he said quickly, “but the kids were.”

“It’s great that you’re showing them tricks,” she smiled at the memory of their youthful excitement, “they’re sure to join the Survey Corps when they're older! They’ll be called Captain Levi’s Titan Fodder troupe.”

“I should stop humoring them,” Levi frowned.

Zoë shrugged. “Won’t make a difference, Levi. You can’t stop those who want to fight for humanity’s freedom. It’s not our responsibility if they’re foolish enough to put their lives on the line. It’s their own.”

“You’ve been around Erwin for too long, Hanji,” he murmured and opened the door to the library. “You sound exactly like him.”

A fire was burning in the crate, Zoë noticed with pleasure, the room was cozy and warm. Her dungeon room was always too chilly. And what was that smell…?

“Oh look! Somebody put dinner here!” she exclaimed, rushing forward.

“Fancy that”, Levi murmured with a strange quirk of his lips.

“Do you think I can eat it?” Zoë asked, suddenly feeling so famished her knees wanted to buckle.

“I’d say so,” Levi nodded solemnly, “nobody else is around.”

Zoë let herself fall into a chair and began to dig in. There was a lot: a variety of cheese, bread, potato mash, cooked lentils, little caramelized apple-tarts with a bit of mint inside. She devoured it all, hardly taking a breath in between, washing it all down with delicious apple juice.

When it was all inside of her, she smacked her lips and leaned back. She found Levi watching her with a strange expression on his face. No butterflies all day but her stomach almost did a little flip when she met his eyes. Almost. Too many things in there, digesting.

“Oh, I always eat that much,” she explained, though frankly, her belly felt ready to burst. “It’s completely normal.”

“You’re definitely not normal.”

“Yeah,” she agreed happily, “definitely not. Hey… didn’t you want to get a new book?”

He looked down at the book in his hands and nodded with a frown. He turned around, put it into the shelf at some random place, walked a bit to the side and pulled out another.

“Ugh,” he said when he looked at the title.

So he picked books randomly? Zoë grinned. That explained the somewhat strange choice of reading material before. It also explained why she always found books in sections where they definitely didn’t belong. He’d probably throw a fit if she told him there was a very specific order that he had not understood.

“What is it?”

He came over and held it up for her to see. A romance novel.

“Oh, I know this one,” Zoë said. “It’s about a poor girl who suffers horrible hardship though we later find out she is actually a princess.”

“What utter crap,” Levi grumbled and looked at the book with disdain.

“I cried,” Zoë added with a heartfelt sigh. “When her mother dies. It’s not her real mother but the emotions... _so_ moving.”

“I bet,” Levi said curtly.

Oh, how tactless of her. If it was true what people said, his mother had died as well - and not under pretty circumstances.

“Maybe you shouldn’t read it,” Zoë said.

“I will,” Levi put the book under his arm. “I always read what I pick.”

“Who taught you to read?”

His instantly darkening face told her that she had just entered dangerous territory. Levi did not like people asking him questions about his past. But Zoë wasn’t someone who backed away from a challenge. And after thinking about capturing Titans all day long, thinking about Levi’s past seemed like a pleasant pastime.

“I had a governess,” Zoë said, pulling a face. “she was nasty.”

“I am certain that the person who taught me was much nastier,” Levi grumbled.

“I ran away from home when I was five,” Zoë continued in her attempt to tease information from him. “She got permission to chastise me any way she wanted afterwards. She liked to use a cane.”

“They hit children in the inner city too?”

“Yeah,” Zoë shrugged. “A lot. I think you’ve met my father. City council? Hange? Most likely one of the persons of consequence you’ve managed to offend.”

Levi shrugged. “Sorry to say I didn’t pay attention to these people's names.”

“Oh, don’t worry!” Zoë chuckled, “he disowned me because I didn’t want to be a girl who was married off to some noble snob. Anyone who offends my father is my friend.”

Levi just looked at her with his deadpan expression after that but it looked to her like he was contemplating something.

“You can ask me anything if you’re curious,” she invited him.

“Tch, I’m not.”

 _But I am!_ Zoë wanted to scream. _I really want to understand where you come from and why you’re better than all of us with no training!_

“I’m leaving,” he informed her abruptly and turned around.

Oh well. Zoe sighed - better not become too greedy. As far as conversing with Levi went, she thought she had done well again.

He had walked about halfway to the door when it burst open and the blonde girl from before staggered in.

Every night?! Zoe was impressed. And a little irritated. Had he given her permission to walk right in? If Erwin knew...

“Aniki,” the girl whimpered, “please, help me.”

“I told you not to come b...!” Levi faltered when the girl swayed, rushed forward and caught her in his arms when she collapsed.

And suddenly, there was blood all over his white shirt.

Zoë jumped up and ran over, seeing the blood gushing from a wound in the girl's belly. With an ugly curse, Levi pressed his hands on it to stop the bleeding.

“Help me get her to the infirmary,” he panted, ripping his shirt off to press against the wound.

Okay. Not exactly how Zoë had imagined her second glimpse at his ripped perfection.

In the infirmary, Levi sutured the ugly wound with quick, neat stitches, his lips a thin, angry line while Zoë assisted him as well as she could. No vital organs had been hit. What luck.

“She will live, Levi,” Zoë sighed when they were done, sinking down to the floor. She was completely spent and felt like curling up to sleep on the spot.

Letting himself fall to the floor as well, Levi covered his eyes with his hands, looking rather shaken. So maybe… he actually liked that girl?

“Uhm, don’t worry,” she offered awkwardly, sidling over to put her hand on his shoulder.

“Someone did this right in front of the Survey Corps’ headquarters,” he hissed, the expression in his burning eyes so angry that Zoë pulled back at once. “Do you understand?”

Frankly, she did not. She looked at the girl lying there all pale and pitiful, much too young for selling her body, then at all the blood on Levi and herself. What trouble was that girl in?

“We tell the Military Policy,” she suggested. “They should investigate.”

“Do that and I’ll kill you,” he snarled, but the expression in his eyes told Zoë that he was just desperate.

“I’ll help you.” Whatever the problem was.

“Tch,” he said, taking a deep breath.

“Is there something I should know?” Zoë asked cautiously.

“I need to go to the underground city,” Levi said, putting his head back against the wall with a strangely defeated sigh that got her right in the heart.

“You… can’t!” Zoë gasped. “We’re confined to barracks. Erwin will… he will have a fit at the very least or worse, throw us in prison for a long time if he finds out!”

Levi looked very grim. “There’s no _us_. It’s about me. It’s a warning _to me_ , Hanji, this knifing.”

Oh boy. Oh boy, oh boy. Exciting. Bad. Very exciting. Motherfucker! They were going to break the law and Erwin’s explicit orders!

“When are we going?”

Levi let out a long breath. “Hell, Hanji. Can you not accept a ‘no’?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “I won’t let you go there alone. Can’t, actually. I gave Erwin my word.”

“Huh?”

“Maybe he knew something like this would happen? He told me to keep you out of trouble.”

“What a bastard,” Levi growled. “And all he ever waxes on about is trust.”

“I’ve never been to the underground city, Levi. I tried a few times when I was younger, but the guards always dragged me back home.”

“It’s not a place anyone wants to go to, Hanji,” Levi looked up at the ceiling. “It’s… dangerous.”

Zoë laughed. “We’re the ones who ride out ready to be devoured by man-eating giants. Nothing is more dangerous than that!”

“You’re mistaken,” he said gravely.

He had to know that _that_ made her want to go even more, right? 


	6. A Night at the Infirmary

The full extent of Hanji’s exhaustion revealed itself to Levi when she fell asleep mid-sentence. Her voice trailing off, she tilted forward slowly, keeled over… and then curled up and started to snore softly.

Ha. Served her right for neglecting to eat and drink all day and making him worry about her.

Levi got up with a sigh and stared down at her. She was a goddamn pain in the ass. How in hell’s name would he convince her to do the sensible thing and stay here?

 _But I want her to come with me_.

Should he tie her up so she wouldn’t follow? Of course. Would he endanger her if he didn’t? Hell, yeah. Was he a selfish prick because he didn’t want to? Yes.

She wasn't behaving like a spoiled rich kid, but she _was_ highborn and despite her undisputed skills as a soldier and scientist she did not belong in the filth and despair of the underground city. No doubt that she was tough, out of necessity and due to her considerable inner strength. But selfless people like her had to be sheltered and pampered. She needed someone who put her on a pedestal, put food into her mouth if she got into one of her brainiac obsessions, and checked her equipment for her in case she was distracted by other things. People who took off her glasses when she fell asleep on the floor. People who wiped the drool from her chin. People like Moblit and Zacharias.

Someone like her should never be tarnished by the hell pit beneath the shining, clean city of Mitras she had grown up in. She should continue her life hating and killing Titans, not abhorring humans too. She should not have to ask herself how it was possible that the rulers of humanity could allow such suffering to continue right beneath their feet.

He should be a fool and insist on going alone, like a noble, honorable person. But he wasn’t noble, had never been, would never be, nor was he honorable. That was for people like Mike who had choices. The only thing he knew was that with her as backup, he had a good chance of going down there and coming out in one piece. Without her, not so much.

Access to the underground city was tightly monitored by the Military Police at the entrances above and the criminal gangs at the bottom of the stairs. They would need access papers and fake IDs. They needed ways to disguise themselves. And they needed a foolproof plan so that he wouldn’t be recognized immediately.

And if they made in and out unharmed… if… then he would deal with the consequences. He would apologize to her for using her and he would pay the necessary price.

Even though he had recently vowed not to be nice to her anymore, Levi bent down and lifted Zoë up. He wasn't cruel enough to let someone like her sleep on the dirty floor like this. She was lighter than he had expected. No wonder if she didn’t eat properly.

“Tch,” he said quietly, “silly, careless woman.”

Breaking into a sudden smile upon hearing his voice, she snuggled her face against his chest and murmured something that sounded like “ackflackak”.

Levi froze, his heart hammering in his throat.

But she wasn’t done. She pawed his naked chest, then put her arms around him, cooing happily. Her drool wet his stomach but instead of feeling disgusted, blood surged to an inconvenient part of his body and he heard himself respond with a deep, guttural sound.

And cringed. _Hell_. If something as inconsequential as this from someone like her roused his body to such a reaction, he had obviously been without a woman for far too long.

With a suppressed curse, he dropped her on the nearest bed. She didn’t budge. Carefully removing her glasses, he put them on the bedside table. After putting on a slightly oversized, clean shirt that he found in a cupboard - his other one was sadly and thoroughly ruined - he sat down in a chair from which he could watch Maria and Zoë at the same time.

Zoë was snoring happily, the expression on her face making him suspect she was dreaming of pawing men’s chests. Did she need a blanket? It was rather chilly in here. He got back up to pull one over her, tucking her in from all sides.

Maria on the other hand… Her breath was labored and she was sweating too much, maybe developing a fever. If they lost her before he could force the truth out of her, he’d be in even deeper shit.

Everything about her had screamed trap from the get go, her youth, her looks, her innocence, her profession. And yet, all she had done was seek shelter in his bed while he watched her from his chair. She had taken money from his bag twice, an amount that to his knowledge was a bit higher than the going rate for sexual services. That made sense if someone pandered her in his direction and she wanted to keep up appearances - and a little for herself.

Levi pulled out his knife, sat back down and began cleaning it with a handkerchief. He had thought he was ready for the past two nights ago. Wrong. Whoever had hurt an innocent to get his attention knew him much too well. He should have known that's how they’d try to get him, Levi thought full of bitterness, he should have steeled himself. Were a few months with the Survey Corps enough to make him drop his guard like this? How had he convinced himself that the underground would just let him go? How desperate his need to live above ground must have been…

Why _she_ would be involved though…

The beautiful, carefully rouged face of a woman who was wearing a perfume he’d never be able to forget appeared in his mind. It instantly made his blood boil with hatred. Oh, he had unfinished business with that woman alright. But why in hell did she think the same?!

Gritting his teeth, Levi dropped his knife in his lap and forced his stormy thoughts in the direction of going down to Chika and killing everyone who had ever crossed him by hurting someone he cared for.

The list was ten miles long. All the better. If he had to go through the trouble of paying the hell pit a visit, it better be worth it.

###

It was hours later when Hanji stirred. Levi craned his neck at the muttering sound she made and saw her eyelids flutter. She jerked awake with a little gasp, her eyes roaming around the room before settling on him.

“Levi,” she scrambled up into a sitting position, groping for her glasses and he winced when she almost brushed them to the floor. “Levi, why are you not sleeping?”

 _None of your business_.

She looked at Maria and nodded. “Come, lie down. I’ll take over. I’m rested enough to watch over her for the rest of the night.”

“It’s okay, Hanji,” he said gruffly. “Go back to sleep.”

But of course she wouldn’t. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes to scrutinize him. It made him squirm. She had a way to look right past the barriers he erected to keep her curiosity about all the things he did not want to share at bay.

“I never sleep more than a couple of hours at most,” he explained so she would stop looking at him like this.

“What?!”

Okay, maybe she wouldn’t stop. She never did, did she? Her curiosity knew no bounds - and now she looked intrigued. That was bad.

“It’s normal,” he grumbled.

“It’s absolutely not normal,” Hange exclaimed. “Human performance is severely curtailed with less than five hours of sleep.”

“Not mine,” he grumbled.

“Damn,” she shook her head. “That’s why you have those dark circles under your eyes? I always thought you have anemia.”

Enough. He groaned inwardly. “Go back to sleep. I won’t get any if you chat with me.”

“You don’t look in the least like you wanted to sleep. We can both stay up.”

Oh for goodness’ sake.

“How is she?” Zoë asked and swung her legs over the side of the bed and yawned. Her hair… her hair was sticking up to all sides and Levi had to forcefully keep his hands down so they wouldn’t reach over and set it right.

“Alive,” Levi answered.

“Do we need to bring her to a hospital?” Zoë wondered, bending over Maria’s pitiful form, feeling her temperature. “She doesn’t look good.”

“Absolutely no hospital.”

Zoë swiveled around to glare at him. “So… she was good enough to deliver a warning to you but she can’t get hospital care in your opinion?”

“Yes, that pretty much sums it up.”

“You’d rather let her die than provide proper doctors for her!?”

Levi rolled his eyes at Hanji’s anger. “If I bring her to a hospital, she can never go back to her family or friends and will have to spend the rest of her life being a slave to some rich asshole.”

“Why?!”

“Recent government regulation? Ask your father if you don’t know. Or your brother, he was even more influential in passing the Peonage Law.”

“So you _do_ know who my family is.”

“I remembered in the meantime. Real pricks.”

She glared at him. He glared right back.

“I wish you didn’t lie to me, Levi,” she said with an angry huff.

“Define lying?”

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid!”

“You’re not…”

“I might be many things,” she continued, shaking her fists, raking her hands through her hair, messing it up even further, “but I’m not stupid!”

“I never said you were stupid,” why was the stubborn woman not listening?

“I’m not your enemy, Levi. You can hate me for being of the same blood like people who pass laws to hurt the poor, but I’m not them!”

“Okay,” he lifted his hands in an appeasing gesture. “Okay, Hanji. I don’t hate you.”

“I am sick and tired of people like you who believe they know me just bec…”

“Shhh,” Levi grabbed her head with both hands in a desperate attempt to stop her rant and sat her back down on the bed forcefully, “just shut up. I don’t hate you. You are not stupid. It’s the opposite.”

“Oh,” she said and her cheeks reddened, “good.”

Cute.

She had light brown eyes that turned a reddish gold when the light caught them at a particular angle. Her hair was soft under his fingers when he began to smooth it down.

“There,” he said, satisfied. “Better.”

“Levi,” she breathed.

The way she said his name made his heart totter precariously before it picked up at a much faster pace.

He suddenly craved more of it. _Say it again_. _My name. Like this._

She lifted her hand to gently brush some strands of hair from his face instead. And then, her fingers were moving over his temple, down to his chin, leaving tingling nerves and breathlessness in her wake. She hesitated for a moment before she touched his lips, brushed over them with her fingertips, once, twice.

“Don’t”, he whispered when really, he wanted to say _continue, please, don’t stop_. A touch, as gentle as hers, freely given … who would not crave it?

Her hand stopped. Her face was so very close and he could see the uncertainty in her eyes, the question, the curiosity that defined her.

“Why?” she whispered.

Yes, why?

“Don’t touch me,” he said forcefully, hating himself for managing to sound so vicious, but he knew what it felt like if trouble was imminent, and if they continued even for one more second, there would be big trouble.

“Okay,” she agreed and removed her hand.

Why did she have to obey him this of all times?

And still, she was so very close, right in front of him, smelling like something he had no name for but craved badly. The air felt electrified and made his body tingle and… he righted himself abruptly, almost tipping over his chair. He would have to go for a long walk right now hoping the air was cold or he would lean forward to find out what those lips of hers felt like against his and that… that...

“Tell me about Maria,” Zoë said, turning her head towards the bed again.

Levi took several steps away from her, calming his breathing. Fuck. He had no time, no wish and enough sense _not_ to be weirdly attracted to weirdo Zoë Hange but apparently, his body was of a different opinion. And it wasn’t even like he couldn’t have seen it coming… Her in her nightshirt, worrying about him because of a stupid nightmare... Her without boots, dancing around him in the courtyard.... Her up on the roof, naming stars the way she wanted to. He had just managed to ignore the attraction before tonight.

“Isn’t she a little young to be a prostitute?” Zoë mused.

“No,” Levi disagreed. “The younger the better.”

An outraged gasp. “Levi, you…”

“I’m not talking about my own tastes but the necessities of the trade,” he said, very offended at her shock, “what do you even think of me?”

“Oh,” Zoë said meekly, “I saw her in your… bed… and…,” she cleared her throat, “it’s none of my business, yup, you’re right… but why did she come back three times?”

Levi huffed. “I don’t know for sure, but I think someone sent her to entice me. Men are the weakest and most distracted when they’re at their sexual peak so if you want to kill them…”

“Oh, really?” Hange looked intrigued again. God help all men. “So she tried to kill you during...?”

“No, she just slept in my bed. In the early mornings, she took money for nothing and left.”

“Does that make sense to you?”

“It does,” Levi shrugged, “maybe she didn’t want her panderer to know I wasn’t enticed. She wanted to pretend she was still doing the enticing.”

“You weren’t enticed?”

“No.”

“But she's extremely pretty,” Zoë sighed, “like a little angel, look at her. I would have been enticed!”

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

“No, just a man.”

“I possess sufficient self control, Hanji.”

Oh great, why did she have to look at him so doubtful?

“So you’re saying someone sent her to entice you, you didn't get enticed, but she fooled them, and then tonight, she was stabbed? By whom? The person she duped about enticing you?”

“Maybe,” Levi pressed his lips together. “I hope she wakes up soon to tell us.”

“So you don’t know who sent you this warning? And why?”

“There’s a long list of people I have unfinished business with,” Levi exhaled. “I can think of at least fourteen who are capable of this.”

“Huh. So you pissed off people of consequence down there too.”

“Kinda hard not to do that in the line of work I was in.”

“Seems like a very imprecise warning,” Zoë wrinkled her nose in thought. “What’s the point if you don’t know who sent it?”

“The point is to get me to come down and find out.”

“So they expect you to walk into a trap unprepared? What are they, nuts?”

“Hm, maybe the point is just to get me down there.”

“Okay, so… how do we get down there?”

“We take one of the stairs.” The question was which one. Several months ago, he’d have bet on number 11 being the one guarded by the biggest idiots but that situation could have changed completely in the meantime.

“We need to get past the MP guards without arousing suspicion. Should we pose as MIlitary Police ourselves?” Zoë suggested. “We’d have to either beat two of them senseless and steal their uniforms or break into their barracks to steal uniforms… ohhh, I’d like that.”

“Or we get fake papers and go as two rich gentlemen ready for a whiff of sin in one of the gambling dens.”

“Ohhhhhhhh, Zoë’s eyes grew big with excitement. “I can dress up like a man and you’ll take me gambling? Am I dreaming?!”

“And we steal an MP’s uniform to get back up.”

“Genius,” she beamed, “when are we leaving?”

“Do you know where to get fake papers? We need IDs and access papers to get in.”

“Sure.” She got up and stretched. Quite the sight. So she _did_ have breasts. Once she was done popping her joints, she stared into empty space, her lips perched.

Levi lifted his eyebrows questioningly. “Where?”

“Oh, I’ll make them,” she shrugged. “Has to be easy. I just need to get my hands on an access permission. Or... do you know what they look like?”

“Oh yes,” he smirked. “Stealing them from rich nobs was very lucrative business.”

Zoë clapped her hands enthusiastically. “Who knew being confined to barracks was that much fun! I’m going to break the law and do forgery!”

A sobering thought. “Let me deal with Erwin if this blows up,” Levi said. “But I plan for us to be long back before he returns.”

“Who cares about Erwin! It will be so much fun! I’d want to do this with nobody else but you!” Zoë’s eyes glittered devilishly as she rushed forward and grabbed him by the shoulders to hug him.

“Oh,” she said when he stiffened, “no touching, I forgot.”

But she left her hands right where they were, defying his wishes, staring down at him with those fascinating eyes… which… dammit, why was he so weak tonight? What was brewing between them was a bad idea, the _worst_ \- she had to know that too.

“Step away,” he said hoarsely but his own treacherous hands put themselves around her waist instead, ready to pull her close.

“Weird,” she whispered, staring at him spellbound, “man, my heart is speeding.”

“Why?”

Did he have to ask? It wasn’t only him. Which meant it was much worse than he had feared. Stopping Zoë Hange from doing something she wanted to do was impossible.

“Because you get this strange expression in your eyes. You focus them on my lips and…”

“Like this?”

Her lips were moist and red. He almost growled when her tongue darted out quickly and nervously, to wet them again.

“Like this. Oh god, Levi. Are we going to kiss?”

“Why should I kiss you, Hanji? You get on my nerves non-stop.”

Sometimes, talking was salvation. Maybe he could buy himself some time like this. Maybe he could get his brain to kick in and get his body under control, to convince himself that this was not a good idea. Why stop? Why not stop. Why. Why not. Wasn’t kissing harmless?

“Because we went through emotionally taxing things together. We’ve bonded. We’re close.”

“But you're not my type.”

His very last defense. Even if a lie. She smiled broadly and leaned in until their foreheads touched. “But you are thoroughly my type. You are a very kind person. You let a girl sleep in your bed and even gave her money, just to protect her. I like you.”

He could not let this happen. He could not. They were… they were going to die too soon and if they started liking each other, their hearts would break into a thousand pieces over the loss. He could not take it, not even the thought of seeing someone else he cared for ripped to pieces by Titans.

But he was going to do it anyway. He moved his hands up to her nape, playing with the soft tendrils of hair that tickled his fingers. All the reasons why not to kiss Zoë Hange fled his head. He leaned in and…

“Aniki?” A weak voice voice behind them made them jerk apart.

“That one likes to interrupt”, Zoë murmured, looking befuddled.

Saved. Saved by a trap sent to entice him. Something to be thankful for, Levi thought, trying to get his pulse under control. He swiveled around and fled Zoë Hange’s intoxicating presence. Next time, he’d be more careful.

“Maria,” he barked at the pale girl in the other bed, “there’s a few things I need to know. Can we do this the easy way, please, where you just _tell_ me what you know?”


	7. All That Matters

There inevitably came a time even the most patient man reached his limit. And he wasn’t patient at all.

“You’re so fucking clueless,” Levi snapped at Zoë, suppressing a need to howl in frustration, “the others will be back and gone again by the time you get this right!”

“I’m trying, okay?”

That she didn't react with the fury he deserved for hurling petty insults at her at every possible opportunity made Levi regret his immature behavior instantly. Even worse, she sounded crushed and apologetic and her voice was shaking. As if any of this was her fault!

“Just leave it,” he grumbled and pulled her hand away from the documents she was laboring over. “We’ll find another way.”

“Hey!” her red rimmed eyes flashing, she ripped her hand back. “I said I will do it and I will! I never go back on my promises!”

They glared at each other. Fucking stubborn. Too much pride. Massive trouble. They had been here for hours with no break and she would never be the one to realize it was leading nowhere.

“Specialists take years to learn how to forge documents,” he said somewhat moved to lessen the blow so she wouldn’t take her failure to heart too much. “Nobody expects you to be proficient after only a few hours.”

“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do!”

Ah, now she was angry after all. Good. May she continue to shower him with ire. It was a much preferable way of interacting with each other than this… this other thing that simmered between them with maddening persistence. Not that she seemed in the least affected. She was so focused on making a fake ID and access permissions he could have started dancing on the table in his underwear and she wouldn’t have noticed.

“You can spend another six hours trying to make these documents look real and it will still not be nearly sufficient. And another six hours. And another. I don’t have the time to wait, okay? Let me think of another way.”

“Will you no longer take me with you?”

She bit her lips, avoiding his eyes. He almost laughed. _That_ was her main concern? Levi shook his head. No self-preservation instincts at all.

“You finally realize what’s good for you?” he taunted her.

Time to repeat to himself: It would be so much smarter to leave her here. She could do whatever thought experiments tickled her fancy, draw sketches of cages and torture instruments, and read books about rare metals all day long. He would not have to make sure Zoë Hange didn’t get into trouble and she would be safe, even if mindlessly bored. And most importantly... he wouldn’t have to resist grabbing her head and exploring those tauntingly unaware lips.

“You gave me your word,” she was outraged.

“I did no such thing,” Levi turned his back on her and marched out the door. Maybe she would finally see reason and return to her room to sleep now? The dark circles under her eyes were so pronounced that he felt an urge to remove them with soap and a clean cloth.

But no. No seeing reason. He had made only five steps when she fell in beside him.

“Hey, where are you going?” she demanded to know.

“To see Maria,” he replied curtly.

Maria - who had skillfully avoided telling him anything useful last night. All she had shared was a tearful story, very much alike those he had heard a hundred times before. Orphaned, sold to the highest bidder by an uncle, forced into the sex trade even before her first monthlies. Finally sent above ground, in the direction of those serving in the military, which was considered to be an honor beyond anything - just to realize that most of those oh-so-heroic men were as perverted and cruel as the ones who ventured downstairs to quench their carnal hunger. A friend who had heard of Levi had told her he ‘was kind’ and he would provide her with shelter and that’s how she had ended up in his bed.

 _I didn't know the extent of your softness_ , Hanji had grinned. It was fucking embarrassing that she would believe Maria’s deceitful blabber.

“Maria again?” Hanji frowned unhappily. “Can she help us?”

It was “us” again, was it?

“She walks in and out of there every day,” he said, lengthening his stride.

“Ah!” Hanji nodded excitedly and lengthened hers too, “she has papers I can look at? To copy?”

“Why, do you want to pose as a prostitute?” he scoffed.

“N… no?” Hanji gulped, blushing a little. “Or… if that’s the way to…”

By the sweet breath of the sun, she wouldn’t…?

“Hanji,” Levi stopped abruptly, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “if I am to take you down there, you have to promise…. no, _swear_ to me, by the integrity of the Walls, that you will _not_ willingly put yourself in harm's way out of some weird curiosity, do you hear me?”

Her puzzled expression just made his anxiety rise. She didn’t even _understand_ the concept of danger, did she?

“So you’re saying…,” she studied his face, “you’re taking me with you after all?”

“Depends,” he huffed and started walking again.

“Are you… concerned for me?” she asked.

He exhaled in annoyance. He’d rather bite his tongue than to admit it but of course he was. Who wouldn’t be. Zoë Hange was the most intelligent person in the entire Survey Corps but also the one most likely to die from a stupid, mindless mistake just because she was preoccupied with something like Titan snot.

“Wouldn’t want to deprive humanity of their most promising scientist,” he murmured.

Maria was awake and scrambled up into a sitting position when they entered. Her pretty face was rosy enough, he noticed, she looked well rested. So the wound hadn’t been that bad after all - she had been lucky. Or… something else?

“Aniki,” she said, her eyes lighting up, “I’m so glad to see you.”

“I need information,” he said stiffly, positioning himself at the foot of her bed. Something about her reminded him of Isabel Magnolia, he realized. Better be extra careful.

“I have already told you everything I can”, her eyes were large and innocent but something in them… He could not let himself be fooled by her angelic appearance, not for a second. Why would they not send their best?

“Information about logistical matters, relax,” he said.

Maria’s eyes flitted to Zoë and back to him. “Logistical…?”

“It means it has to do with organization and planning. Which stairs do you use to get in and out of Stohess?”

“I… I don’t use any stairs here.” She began fidgeting.

“You go through the gate in Wall Sina? To the inner city first?”

“Y…. yes?” Maria swallowed nervously.

“Why?”

“Because… the stairs here are… dangerous.”

“Dangerous as in…?”

“You could easily get ‘lost’ and nobody would know.”

“But they’re intact?”

“I don’t know,” Maria confessed. “I don’t think so. Many have been abandoned or destroyed only recently.”

Made sense. Control of the stairs was the biggest source of power and income for those below - and the ones above. Fucking corrupt assholes of the Military Police. Levi gritted his teeth. Shame that he never got the chance to beat one bloody anymore.

“How do you get through the gate?”

“I…,” she swallowed, “the military police know us. And we have… tokens for the stairs. Why… why are you asking me this, Aniki?”

“How many at the gate?”

“Three at least,” she answered timidly, “sometimes more.”

“Stairs?”

“Two to three, depends.”

Bluffing their way through Wall Sina and into the inner city shouldn’t be too hard then. Not his preferred way seeing how there was a risk of meeting trouble way too early but there was no way he was ready to wait for Zoë to learn how to forge documents. And for the rest…

“Describe to me where the entrance to the stairs is that you use. Here,” he handed her a notebook, “draw me a map.”

“Are you…”

“Yes, we’re going to the underground city!” Zoë burst out, beaming at him so happily he felt a little jolt in the gut.

“Aniki,” Maria wrung her hands, her eyes large and frightened, “please, don’t.”

“Won’t your employer be pleased?” Levi pointed at the notebook. “Draw the map. And give me your token.”

“But that means I cannot…”

“Correct, you cannot. You will stay here,” he ordered. “Your wound needs more treatment. It will only get infected in the filth down there.”

“But I…”

“Don’t worry,” Zoë said and put a hand on Maria’s shoulder, “you are safe here.”

Was she? Levi pondered the security of their HQ once again. If this were one of the other locations in the outer districts… maybe. Because no sensible criminal took the pain to walk for days to get to a fortress where he would be visible from far away. But here, amidst so many houses… before the attack on her the night before, he would have sworn no lowlife would dare venture this close. He had misjudged them. Apparently, the Survey Corps was less scary than whoever ordered people to stab a child prostitute. And maybe it wasn’t her they needed to worry about at all....

“No, you’re not safe,” he said, “but that can be changed. I’ll pay some guys to guard you in our absence.” _And to keep an eye on you…_

“Aniki,” Maria cried, seemingly distressed, “I have to get back!”

“I can also lock you up, would you prefer that?”

He held out his hand demandingly until she had dropped a small metal coin into it.

Zoë sucked in her breath sharply and glared at him, probably thinking him cruel and heartless. It was baffling how naive she was. Levi stored the token in his pocket and indicated with his chin that he wanted to speak to her in private. She followed him to a far corner of the infirmary. Maria’s large, expressive eyes followed them all the way.

“Can’t you be a little nicer…?”

“She’s a liar,” Levi interrupted her quietly.

“Come on! She’s wounded, cute, sweet, devoted to you…”

“Hanji, leave it alone. Trust my instincts. Maria isn’t honest with us.”

“How do you…?”

“I just know,” he said.

“But…”

Of course she wouldn’t leave it alone. “You should see how well she stitches wounds, Hanji. Like a pro. Let’s just say most people in the underground have more than one line of work, okay?”

“Oh? So what were you… thief and vigilante?”

Pfft. “I fought in the ring. Good for reputation and money.”

She looked at him with interest in an appreciative, impressed kind of way. That made him warm all over.

“Shirtless?”

Levi almost gasped. Unbelievable!

“Let’s go to your room,” he said gruffly.

“My… my room?” she blushed.

That wasn’t good, because now he began to feel even warmer.

The vexing thing about the sexual tension between them was that it didn't go away when you willed it to. Levi could hardly deny that his body and his mind refused to cooperate. One said _no, you idiot_ and the other said _yes, please_ and the push and pull was maddening.

When had dirty, weird Zoë Hange become an object of desire?

When he had realized how sexy brains were. _Her_ brains, in particular. And when he had started feeling protective of her. He had no power over that part of himself. It was his biggest weakness. And very dangerous.

“Just to discuss the next steps,” he coughed. “Logistics.”

“Ah, okay,” she smiled a little.

“Let’s get some food from the kitchen first.”

“Sure,” she nodded, throwing Maria a measuring look. “Now that I think about it, that wound was rather advantageously positioned,” she remarked after a few seconds. “She looks remarkably well.”

Levi nodded. Exactly his line of thinking. A flesh wound that wasn’t too deep and wouldn’t leave much damage. Either luck - or not a coincidence at all.

“I see you’re catching on,” Levi said. “Let’s go.”

And now for making sure Zoë slept enough hours so she would be at her most alert and ready the next day.

###

Her room was very messy, Zoë realized with a pang, and she knew how much he hated that kind of thing. Rushing here and there at high speed, she quickly pushed used clothes, pieces of leather harness, books and writing utensils underneath the bed. Then, she opened the windows wide, hoping to get rid of the slightly musty smell that she found hanging in the air so often. The walls were very old, quite possible that there was mildew in there somewhere.

“You can come in,” she addressed Levi who was waiting outside at her request. Why was she so nervous?

Well, no need to ask, it was obvious. Because he made her heart flutter and her belly turn to mush. Because standing near him and inhaling his typical soapy-musky Levi scent turned her nether regions into a pulsating gateway of need and made her lips tingle with anticipation for what she hoped would follow.

Ridiculous. Was she a bitch in heat?

“I’m sorry, it’s a little…hmm,” she apologized when he looked around with that trademark expression of haughty disdain.

“Dirty?” he completed her sentence. “Indeed. But I guess I’ll survive it this once.”

“Have a seat?” she pointed at her armchair. He liked to sit in armchairs and this was a particularly comfortable one despite its advanced age. In fact, if she had to name one possession to save from her room if there was a fire, it would be this armchair.

“Are those crumbs?” Levi asked, the corner of his mouth drooping down a little.

“Oh… wait,” Zoë said and brushed the cushion clean with her hands hastily. “Here we go.”

Levi sat down gingerly.

“Crumbs don’t bite,” she joked.

“But there are things that bite crumbs,” he replied, his eyes narrowed, “and you don’t want those living in your room.”

She laughed, though she was quite sure he wasn’t joking in the least, closed the windows, walked over to her bed and sat down. It was far enough from him and his magnetic presence and she began to relax a little. Man, she was _tired_. How did he manage to live on so little sleep?

“What did you want to discuss?” Zoë asked when their conversation faltered and she became a bit too aware of his presence again.

“Logistics,” he shrugged. “One of the stable boys comes from a family of tailors. He will provide us with clothes. You have to give me your measurement.”

“My measurement?” Zoë looked down at herself.

“Hips, waist, shoulders, length of arms and legs. And… chest,” he cleared his throat. “You have to bind that tightly. You already don’t look like a man at all with your… your body.”

“How would I know the length of my legs…?” Zoë murmured.

“Hmpf,” Levi grumbled. “Humanity has invented measuring tapes for that.”

“You will have to measure me since you know how it’s done,” Zoë decided and instantly realized that this would bring them close. Very close. He would touch her. Oh, _excellent_.

What?! She cringed at her eagerness. The way his eyes turned dark and stormy when he stared at her lips… she shuddered. It was a bad idea to let him close.

“You know what, I’ll measure myself,” she quickly added.

“Fine,” he retorted, “do it right now. We’ve lost enough time already.”

Levi threw her a measuring tape. Heat crept up her neck as she measured each part of her body according to his directions, feeling his eyes on her every body part.

“Got it all,” he said and closed his notebook. “And now, you sleep.”

“Oh, why?” she threw him a puzzled look. “Don’t we need to discuss more logistics?”

“Sleep is the most important part of the logistics,” he looked almost angry.

“Will you speak to Maria again?”

He lifted his eyebrows at her questioningly. Had she just… sounded jealous? She cringed again. She couldn’t deny feeling an odd satisfaction over his clear dismissal of that young woman. Maria looked simply perfect, even with a knife wound in her gut, she was any man’s dream. Worse, she looked perfect for Levi and his dark handsomeness. Soft where he was hard, smaller than him, and oh-so-ready to be protected by him.

“I believe I will,” he said slowly. “Until she tells me what I want to know. I can be persuasive.”

Oh. Did he mean… torture?

“Don’t trouble yourself over this,” he said. “Lie down.”

What… was he going to force her?! He had gotten up to stand next to her, glaring threateningly.

“O...okay, I will sleep,” she said. In her clothes? No way she was going to change with him in the same room… she swallowed nervously and put her head on her pillows, wiggling a little until she felt comfortable.

She was so tired, something like strong relief flooded her body at being in a horizontal position.

He pulled up the blankets and arranged them around her. Zoë thought her heart was going to stop.

“Close your eyes,” he ordered and took her glasses off her nose, putting them on the bedside table.

“Levi…”

“No more talking,” he said sternly and sat down on the bed, the mattress dipping slightly. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

She closed her eyes because keeping them open was too overwhelming, her eyelids so heavy they simply had to fall shut. But her heart was beating so fast it felt like her chest was going to burst open. Slowly she moved her hand towards the source of warmth by her side. Her fingertips brushed against his. He didn’t pull back. Edging it forward carefully, Zoë covered his hand with hers.

“Stay a little?” she whispered.

“What am I, a creep who watches women sleep?” he whispered back.

He shifted a little, but didn’t get up. Instead, he put his second hand on top of hers, very slowly and gently stroking her fingers.

“I am lucky to have you to accompany me tomorrow,” he whispered. “So I want to thank you before I forget. And I also want to apologize.”

 _What for?_ Zoë wanted to ask but her heartbeat was slowing down fast now. What was this magic? She couldn’t stay awake.

“Silly man,” she said or did she? She was drifting off into the black nothingness of a deep sleep, feeling… safe. Safer than she ever had in her entire life.

###

That had been surprisingly easy. But she must have been completely exhausted to fall asleep this quickly and with no resistance whatsoever.

Levi looked at Zoë’s sleeping face, marvelling at how innocent and young she looked with her eyes closed. He felt the urge to touch her long lashes but he wasn’t _that_ creepy… or was he? He took his hand away from hers and very lightly brushed his fingers over her cheek.

Okay, enough.

Standing up abruptly, blowing out the light, Levi backed out of Zoë Hange’s bedroom which smelled partially like her, partially like mildew - he shuddered - and partially like Mike Zacharias.

Who would probably want to kill him for sitting on his girlfriend’s bed like this, however innocent it had been. But truth be told, he didn’t give a shit about Mike’s feelings. The large brute had manhandled him most ruthlessly when Erwin had come to the underground city to arm twist him into joining the Survey Corps. There was much too much satisfaction in beating Zacharias at everything ever since.

All was quiet and dark outside. Levi pondered his options for a moment and then headed downstairs, directing his steps towards the entrance of the building.

“Pssst,” he hissed at the small body huddled in the shadows.

The boy shot up and saluted clumsily Survey Corps style, blinking his eyes rapidly to clear them.

“I’ve got the measurements,” he told the boy and took his notebook from his pocket. “Here…,” he ripped out the page. “Hers and mine.”

“Yes, Captain!” the boy saluted again, “I will immediately go to my parents with this. You said you need wigs and hats and glasses too?”

Levi nodded. Captain Levi’s Titan Fodder Troupe was way more useful than he had ever dared imagine.

“I will get it all done!” the boy was almost bursting from excitement, shuffling his feet like a young buck ready to bolt.

“Do you know whether the blonde woman who was hurt spoke to any of you today?”

The boy’s head bobbed up and down. “She did, sir. To Lina. She asked her to deliver a message to a person waiting outside.”

 _Bingo_.

“And what did Lina do?”

“She came to me, of course,” the boy said, fishing something from his pocket. Something filthy and crumpled looking. Levi suppressed a shudder as he received the piece of paper with a brief nod of gratitude.

Squinting in the faint light, he read it, then turned it over, but the one, cryptic line was all there was.

“Thank you,” he said to the boy, “you did really well.”

“Can I go now?” the boy asked. “I will fetch someone else to guard the entrance.”

“Fine,” Levi nodded. “See you tomorrow.”

Next, he went to the kitchen and brewed himself a very large cup of tea. Sipping it slowly, savoring the bitter taste and the feeling of the hot liquid flowing down his throat, he took position outside the infirmary, leaning against the window sill with his legs crossed at the ankles.

Hours later, the door opened and a blonde head appeared, looking this way and that.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Levi asked sweetly.

“Oh,” Maria squealed. “Shit.”

He pushed himself upright, swiftly lit the lamp in his hand and took a few steps in her direction.

“Maria, Maria,” he shook his head at her. “You disappoint me.”

“Fuck off,” she hissed at him, standing her ground, her violet eyes flashing dangerously. “Aren’t you supposed to sleep in the arms of that woman who looks like a horse?”

Levi tilted his head a little. Was it necessary to insult Zoë like this? Certainly not a way to get on his good side. “No, I much prefer catching you trying to sneak out to meet your informant outside.”

She flew at him so quickly he had to drop the lamp to defend himself with both hands. It shattered with a loud, ugly noise, plunging them in darkness. The glint of metal that had met his eyes before alerted him to the knife she wielded - how careless of him not to check. He bent low, hit her armpit hard with outstretched fingers and when she grunted in pain and dropped her weapon, he hit her temple with his elbow and slammed his leg around for good measure. She went down with a yelp of pain and he jumped right on top of her to immobilize her.

She groaned pitifully.

“Shut the fuck up,” he hissed at her, “and stop the act. Who sent you and why?”

“You bloody idiot,” she hissed right back, “how you ever managed to control such a large territory with your mediocre skills is beyond me.”

Levi laughed. Feisty.

“Did you really get hurt on purpose?” he asked, shifting his weight a little to take off the pressure from her wound, “that’s so stupid I’m almost impressed.”

She swore at him. A real gutter rat with a mouth so filthy no soap in the world would ever manage to clean it.

“Just kill me, you gutless dick-for-brains,” she taunted him, “I will never talk.”

She said it with enough confidence to ring true. Was she a trained assassin? Maybe. Levi increased the pressure on her arms and shifted again so she couldn’t suddenly use her legs on him.

“Did Xandra send you?”

“Fuck you,” Maria spit out.

“Does she have a death-wish?” Levi could almost smell the perfume again, as if his brain instantly connected the scent and the name. It made no sense. The woman who had been instrumental in his mother’s downfall and death couldn’t possibly know who he was … or could she?

Pressing his lips together, Levi pondered the chances of Xandra keeping eyes on him all this time. What the fuck for? Fear?

“You couldn’t possibly have believed _you_ could kill _me_?” Levi asked, unsure whether to be amused or offended.

“Kill you?” her laugh sounded ugly and mean. “That’s much too good a fate for someone like you.”

“Have I… have I harmed you in the past?” If so, he certainly had no recollection of her.

“Not me,” Maria’s voice dropped low, “but someone I cared for dearly. Traitors like you deserve nothing but a slow, utterly painful death in the filthiest corner of Chika.”

Traitor? He scoffed. Some of the underground’s proudest and most fanatic inhabitants considered those who fled the garbage dump for the outside world the worst kind of scabs.

“Well,” he drawled, “and what am I going to do with you now? I could skin you alive and hang you on a hook in the courtyard until you are bled dry. But that’s so messy… Or I could use you for target practice. I haven’t worked on my knife throwing skills for a while. Hmmm… even better, we could boil and eat you, wasting such a tasty young body seems like a waste.”

“You don’t scare me,” she huffed. “Do what you want with me. Rape me, slice me up, skin me, I don’t care.”

“But you should care,” Levi bent lower, listening to her quick breathing that spoke of fear much clearer than words. “Why would you throw your life away like this? Just to get me to come back?”

“The blood started flowing in rivers when you left,” she said, her hatred making her voice brittle. “Punishing you is all I live for.”

“Fighting over scraps like rabid dogs, are you?” he said.

Xandra might as well be one of the people fighting over his old territories. But why this elaborate ruse with pretty prostitutes that were meant to appeal to his protective instincts?

“Could have just asked me nicely,” he said and released her.

She was so surprised she didn’t move until he had lit the candle he had put into his belt earlier.

“You can go,” he told her with a shrug.

“W… why?” very slowly, she sat up, pulling her legs underneath her body to be able to flee more quickly. Or attack him again.

“I’m coming down to sort out what needs sorting out, we told you so. I will use the stairs you have indicated. You gave me your token which means I won’t cause an incident with the Military Police. Isn’t that what you want? Go and report.”

She stared at him. The flame of the candle was reflected in her large eyes. It wasn’t what she wanted? Maybe she had really come to kill him.

“You won’t leave again,” she said so quietly he almost couldn’t hear. “There will be no grave for you. Your bones will be gnawed bare by vermin and carried into all corners of the underground by wild dogs. And nobody will cry a single tear for you. Because nobody will be left to remember you.”

Sudden anger shot through him and it must have shown on his face because she jumped up with a sharp intake of breath and ran to the door.

 _No_.

Levi bent down and began to pick up the broken pieces of the light that had shattered.

He would not die underground. He would die outside the walls. He would die breathing the fresh air of the outside world, with the wind blowing against his skin. Free.

It was all that mattered.


	8. Going Down

“Oh _shit_ ,” Zoë grabbed Levi’s arm and squeezed hard, her steps faltering. “I know him. He was in my training squad. He’ll know who I am.”

By ‘him’, she must mean the one Military Police officer who was looking in their direction attentively instead of playing cards like his fellow officers. Brown hair, hard eyes and a pinched mouth.

“He won’t recognize you,” Levi tried to calm her but her body had gone rigid. Even a less attentive person could see she was acutely uncomfortable. “Relax,” he hissed and shook her a little.

Passing the gates into the inner district had been easy. Too easy, considering that the guards and the gates were there for a reason: which was the security of the royal family and their wealthiest subjects. Not that Levi had any care for them but if anyone came to harm in here, it wouldn’t be the negligent MP guards who’d be punished. They’d find a way to put the blame on the poorest - or the Survey Corps... they always did.

“My disguise is shit,” Hange gulped.

“It’s not,” he assured her.

He dragged her forward, linking his arm with hers to pull her along. If in disguise, you had to believe that you were who you pretended to be - it made discovery much more unlikely. He had told her that several times, she had understood… now she just needed to get her confidence back.

Besides, her disguise really wasn’t bad. She had bound her breasts very tightly as instructed and pulled off a man’s gait surprisingly well for a woman. With her top hat that hid her hair, the blinding white shirt with high collar over high waist pants, the impeccable cravat, grey waistcoat and midnight blue tailcoat, she looked like a lanky aristocrat of the finest order. She had even brought a pocket watch, dangling from a golden keychain, currently stuffed into a side pocket - _and_ cufflinks adorned by her real family’s crest.

It gave him considerable pleasure to think she must have stolen them from either her father or one of her brothers.

Their meager supply of clothes and other necessities were stuffed into his fake belly. His girth, his hat, the spectacles and his greying hair gave him the look of an adipose, middle-aged, wealthy inhabitant of the inner city. Hange was posing as his friend slash partner in crime. Two rich nobs going down into the Underground meant one of two things: they went for whoring or gambling - or both.

“We require passage,” he told the guard, careful to keep all traces of an accent from his voice as he struck a crisp, commanding tone.

He dropped the token into the outstretched hand. Hange’s acquaintance looked at it doubtfully. The MP was tall and muscular, one of those men who possessed ample strength without having to do anything for it. The Mike Zacharias type. Zoë’s type.

“Do you now,” he said and looked up, his eyes cold and calculating. When he let them glide over Zoë’s form slowly, Levi knew that she had been right. He recognized her! Which, Levi’s brain accepted with considerable reluctance, most likely meant that they had known each other very well in the past.

“Damn, Hange,” the MP officer sneered, “you look mighty fine today. I always knew there was something not quite right about you, but I would never have guessed…”

He made a step in her direction as if he meant to grab her. Immediately, Levi stepped forward and into his path. Stopped short, the MP glared down at him. Levi glared right back.

“Step back,” he growled, putting all his dislike into the two words. Given how much of it he felt for this man for everything he stood for, it sounded dangerous even to his own ears.

The MP hesitated.

“... or I’ll make sure you spend the rest of your life on downstairs duty,” Levi doubled down.

The MP scoffed and took a step back. Good. He might have recognized Zoë but he couldn’t place Levi. Not yet, anyway. He felt the eyes of the man on him, assessing, wondering... This confrontation had to end quickly or it would end their plans before they had even started.

“Trouble, Theodor?” one of his MP buddies asked without looking up from his game.

“No,” Theodor answered evenly, still coldly assessing Levi, “just someone I know.”

Levi kept glaring until the other man took another step back.

“You need two tokens,” Theodor said sullenly. “Two people, two tokens. The rules are clear.”

“How much?” Levi asked haughtily.

Theodor blinked slowly.

“How much for passage without a token,” Levi repeated impatiently. If Theodor took the bribe, he’d have him right where he could not cause any more trouble for them. If he didn’t…

“Ten crowns,” Theodor’s comrade said, looking at them with a greedy smile on his smug face.

Theodor puckered his lips and exhaled slowly. “Hange, don’t do it,” he said. “I know it might seem like the perfect opportunity to rebel but… it’s a grave offense to…,” his eyes flicked to Levi, showing distrust and dislike - and disgust.

“What should I not do?” Zoë spoke up, sounding angry.

Levi wanted to punch her somewhere so she’d shut up but he was still standing in front of her with no access to any of her body parts. It was so much like her not to understand what this acquaintance of her was insinuating: A woman, dressed as a man, going down into the sin den likely meant that she was going to meet up and be with another woman of a similar inclination. With him being the person who facilitated or even encouraged such lewd, criminal behavior. Most likely because he got to watch.

Theodor’s eyes narrowed on her. “Is it not enough that you joined those lunatics instead of the military police? Do you have to further debase yourself?”

Not wanting to listen to this guy’s lectures on morality, Levi pulled out a fat purse. Another lesson: if wearing a disguise, you had to make sure to pay attention even to your underpants. Rich people carried a lot of money. Ten crowns, he had said? A total rip-off. He started to count the coins into his hand.

“I’d say eight are sufficient,” he held the money out, shifting his eyes back to Theodor. _Come on_ , he urged him in silence. _Be greedy and stupid_. _Forget whatever happened between Hanji and you in the past. Take it and shut up._

“Are you making me get up, Treibel?” one of the card players snickered, “take the damn money.”

But Theodor Treibel had a conscience. Levi saw it in his eyes and in the pinch of his mouth. He almost laughed. What fucking irony.

“Theodor Treibel, is it?” he sneered. “I thought I recognized your face. You look very much like your father.”

Another lesson: When in disguise and trying to bluff your way into a restricted area, never go too far. Just insinuate you know someone with leverage and let the one in front of you piece together the rest.

“I am sorry, sir,” Treibel stood up straighter, “do I know you?”

“Just let us through, you dolt,” Zoë hissed behind Levi. “Of course you don’t know him. He’s someone you do _not_ know. Get it?”

Oh, clever. So he was a secret agent or something. Levi liked it. He smiled a little and licked his lips. Like a predator about to bite.

Theodor frowned.

Levi lifted his hand and … dropped the coins. The card players’ heads snapped up at the sound of the metal hitting the pavement and one jumped up to chase the coins that rolled in all directions, swearing foully.

Levi took a step forward.

Theodor stood his ground, barring their way, determination in his gaze.

Levi kept walking, radiating fury and danger.

Theodor stepped aside.

“I will tell your family about this,” he said under his breath, “Zoë, they need to know.”

“You stay out of my affairs!” she hissed at him angrily, “you have no hold on me whatsoever, Teddy. And yes, please tell my family. They no longer have a daughter with my name though, as you well know, so don’t be surprised when they boot you out!”

“Still, I…”

Zoë stomped on Theodor’s foot, heel first. He bellowed in pain, making his comrades double over with laughter. Before he could feel the glee this situation warranted, Zoë had grabbed Levi’s hand and pulled him forward at a much quicker pace.

Mere seconds later, they were at the top of the stairs. Dim half-light. A seemingly endless set of stairs.

And the smell…

His whole body stiffened, he couldn’t help it. Levi quickly switched to breathing through his mouth, but it was too late. How could he have forgotten about the smell? Stumbling forward and down the steps as fast as possible, Levi tried not to retch. Could he have misjudged? Maybe he shouldn’t have returned after all. Maybe he was far less strong than he liked to believe…

###

Tears weren’t what Zoë had expected to shed on this adventure because she had made a decision to stop crying at the age of seven. She had been fairly good at following her own rule. Yet, unbidden moisture pooled in the corner of her eyes now, blurring her vision and forcing her to snuffle like a miserable child.

She felt so humiliated. To run into Teddy Treibel of all possible people. She had completely forgotten about him - of course she had, he didn’t matter in the least in the life she had chosen for herself. What indignity that he thought he still had a right, a _goddamn_ right to judge her!

“Is there anyone tall and muscular you haven’t slept with in the Corps?”

Levi’s disdainful voice drifting down to her from the steps above was like a cold shower. It was a very _bad_ moment to ask such a rude Levi-question and he had to know it. But it made the tears stop instantly because now she remembered to be angry instead of feeling sorry for herself. Damn those patronizing shits around her! Each and every one of them could go to hell!

She swiveled around and swung. She didn’t care whose face it was her fist was going to connect with, as long as it was a man’s face.

Levi didn’t dodge. Her fist connected with that unique, satisfying sound of flesh on flesh, and his head was slammed to the side. He staggered. The hat flew right off and she gave it a vicious kick, almost sending it over the edge.

“How dare you!” she yelled at him, her fury propelling her forward and up, ready to hit again and harder if she could. “Miserable little shit, you have no right to judge me!”

Levi righted himself, his eyes angry slits, his hand pressed to his reddening cheek.

“Shut up!” he growled at her, “the sound carries down here.”

“You fucking don’t tell me what to do,” she seethed at him, though not as loudly as before, because there really was an echo, “my life is my own!”

“Yeah, fine,” he grumbled, brushing down his jacket and righting his fake spectacles. “But be quiet for fuck’s sake. I don’t want your friend to grow suspicious and come barging down after us. It’s bad enough he knew you.”

Zoë looked up in alarm, almost expecting to see Teddy’s silhouette at the bright entrance to the stairs far above them.

“I didn’t sleep with him if you must know,” she defended herself, hating that she felt like she had to.

“No, I don’t want to know,” Levi hissed, avoiding her eyes as he picked up his hat and brushed past her. “Forget I said anything. Let’s hurry up.”

Was this supposed to be an apology?

“He was betrothed to me,” she pressed out, speeding up herself. Like it was any of Levi’s business. But the truth was, she _wanted_ him to know. More, she wanted him to brush it aside with a rude comment, telling her to stop whining about trifle shit. It would make her feel better, like it always did.

She had been traded like a price cow at the mere age of twelve.

How ironic that they had both ended up in the military in the end. She, the fourth daughter of the prestigious Hange family, disowned for public misconduct. Him, second son of the slightly less prestigious Treibel family, heartbroken over the rejection and the shame that had rubbed off on him by association.

She hated him. Well, not really. But she hated feeling like this and she hated him for being the cause.

“I don’t understand,” she told Levi, “what does he want to tell my family? That I’m going to the underground? I’m an adult, it’s not illegal!”

Levi didn’t answer. Stupid, rude ass, he had no right to sulk at all! She would have to hit him more so he would get used to it.

“Stop sulking,” she kicked him lightly in the bum.

But that wasn’t it, she realized when he turned his head to glower at her. He was pale, apart from an angry bruise on his cheek, and very tense.

“Sorry if I caused trouble,” she conceded at the sight. “But my family really won’t care.”

“You’re so naive, Four-Eyes. I can’t believe you still have the mind of a child at your age.”

Naive? She wasn’t naive! Her brain went into overdrive in an attempt to assess what she had missed. Sure, she was a woman. Women of high birth didn’t go to the Underground often because it wasn’t exactly safe down there. But when younger, Hange had heard the servants gossip about some women who dared venture there. They had always sounded full of awe. What was the fucking deal?

“He assumed you are a lesbian,” Levi explained with an exasperated sigh.

Oh. _Oh_!

“I’m not a lesbian!” Zoë bristled.

“I don’t give a fuck,” Levi shrugged. “But the people above stairs do.”

That was true. Same sex relationships were punishable by death, under certain circumstances. Zoë began to bite her lip, trying to assess the damage. It wasn’t unlikely the Treibels still associated with the Hanges, despite the mess her broken engagement had created. It wasn’t impossible that Teddy might see one of her closer relatives either. And if he told one of her brothers...

“Shit,” she said, suddenly nervous, “why didn’t you warn me?”

“Huh?” Levi swiveled around, his eyes glittering behind his glasses. “Warn you that there are tall, muscular fiancés around that could get the wrong idea about why you want to go to the Underground? Very sorry, my oversight.”

He snorted and shook his head sardonically.

What a mess.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“What for?” he snapped. “Just keep going. If they send someone down, we’ll deal with it.”

_Sorry for being the child of rich, entitled assholes. Sorry for causing you even more trouble._

Zoë hurried after Levi who had begun to take two steps at once as if he couldn’t get to the bottom fast enough. Now that the sharp edge of her anger had waned somewhat, she started to pay attention to their surroundings. They were in some kind of tunnel, barely high enough not to cause any claustrophobia. Currently, the light was dim and getting dimmer, with only a few smoking torches at irregular intervals. And there was a smell wafting up to them from below… a heavy, unclean smell that conveyed danger and excitement to her.

And then they were no longer in the tunnel.

“Oh!” she exclaimed at the sight opening up in front of them.

They were looking down on countless blinking lights and when her eyes had adjusted, she recognized buildings, stacked upon each other in reckless disarray, like irregular building blocks in a child’s nursery.

“Wait,” she breathed, stepping next to him and grabbing his arm to stall him. “I want to look at it.”

“What’s there to look,” he frowned darkly.

“I didn’t know how big it was!” she admitted.

“It’s because you know nothing,” he said. “What you’re seeing is solely the inner two districts. There are nine others.”

“Damn!” she was really impressed now.

“And you won’t ever go there,” he added sternly.

“Why?” she craned her neck to peer down. She could see people below, tiny dots moving about like ants. So many people!

“Because I say so.”

“Sure way to make me want to go,” she smiled toothily.

“Then I’ll have to tie you up,” he declared. “I mean it, Hanji. Not even I go outside the perimeters of the inner districts unless I have to. Had to,” he corrected himself with a slight shake of his head.

It wasn’t that she didn’t take his warnings seriously. She wasn’t stupid. But she had heard stories like every child growing up above grounds. Deliciously dangerous adventure stories of daring criminals and their clever misdeeds down below. She had slurped them up like they were the most delicious treats back then. Now that she was an adult and had seen her fair share of the world inside and outside the walls, she understood that those stories falsely romanticized poverty and crime and gave people an excuse not to feel responsible for what happened beneath their feet.

Levi would hate these stories, of course. But she couldn’t quite forget the thrill they had given her and she couldn’t help but feel super excited about finally seeing the Underground City with her own eyes because of them.

There were also quite a few Boogeymen to scare children, she remembered, like the Black Hunchback who came for you if you didn’t eat your food properly or One-Eyed Jonas, who was on the lookout to abduct pretty little girls.

“Did you ever hear of One-Eyed Jonas?” she asked Levi. What had he been down here? Criminal hero or violent thug?

“Yes,” he said with his usual deadpan face. “I killed him.”

“What?!”

He turned his head to look her in the eyes.

“Are you serious?” she frowned at him after a few seconds. “I think you’re shitting me.”

“Hanji,” Levi said gravely and took a step closer. “I _will_ tie you up if you give me reason to believe you want to rush into mortal danger. Do you understand?”

“Pffft.”

“Whoever wanted me to come down has to know I’m coming by now,” he added. “We have to be careful.”

Oh right. Goldilocks Maria! Who had a considerable head start due to someone’s weak spot for small, vulnerable females.

“Explain to me again why you let her go?” Zoë pulled a face. Annoyingly, Levi had not deemed it necessary to explain anything. _She’s gone_ , he had simply said in the morning when Zoë had found the infirmary empty, with Levi brooding in a chair.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” he said. As if that was an explanation. “And that’s why we’re going down now without continuing to gawk at houses for hours.”

Huh, maybe he was offering an explanation after all.

“You wanted them to know you’re coming so that you can assess more quickly whom you’re up against?” she guessed.

Levi nodded once.

“They won’t be fooled by your disguise?”

Levi briefly glanced at himself and then shrugged.

“Some will be. Those who aren’t are the people to watch out for.”

Zoë nodded in turn.

“If you get yourself into trouble, I will be distracted, which makes it more likely those people get an advantage over me. Get it?”

Zoë nodded again. “You don’t need to come save me though,” she added after a few moments of reflection. “I can take care of myself. You just do your thing.”

He stepped even closer. Now they were standing very close, she realized. She could see the dangerous glint in his darkening eyes, could feel the heat of his body, and got a good whiff of Levi-scent. She inhaled greedily for more. Who would ever have guessed that soap on someone’s skin could smell so good. She whelped when he grabbed her upper arm hard.

“You don’t get it, do you,” he growled in a low, deliciously dangerous voice.

“N… no?” she gulped, blinking rapidly.

“I cannot _help_ it,” he said grimly, “I _have_ to save you. So just don’t make me have to do it so often, _get it_?”

What?! She stared at him. Had to? Why? Was this some stupid, noble notion of manly heroism? She studied his face intently. But this was Levi. Levi had no stupid, noble notions of manly heroism, that’s why she valued him so much.

“I get it,” she lied because she suddenly felt a little overwhelmed. Overwhelmed of feeling aware. Aware of him standing so close and of her wanting to get even closer.

He stiffened. What now? He couldn’t possibly know she had thought about kissing him, could he?

“I really do,” she added for emphasis, but he put a hand on her mouth and cocked his head.

“Fuck,” he swore under his breath.

Now she heard it too. Footsteps. Closing in on them from both sides.

“Who…?”

Levi stepped around her and peered over the edge. He wouldn’t…?

“We go down here,” he said.

He would.

“That’s a goddamn vertical drop,” she observed. They had no gear. There were rooftops about sixty or more meters down from where they were.

“Too much of a disadvantage if we’re trapped like this,” he just said and put his hand inside his belly.

He pulled out a rope. He had thought to bring a rope! Well, a fairly short one, but better than nothing. He bent down to tie it to one of the shafts, checking the knot twice.

“There’s a narrow ledge about four meters down from here,” he instructed her, handing the end of the rope to her. “You’ll feel it with your feet. As soon as you’ve reached it, you turn to the left.”

“And you?”

“Will follow. Hurry.”

Hange crouched underneath the handrail to look down. Vertical indeed. But very well. She turned her back to the abyss and grabbed the rope at its top with both hands.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” she told Levi.

“Just fucking go!” he looked ready to push her.

Fine. She took the plunge, planting her feet firmly against the stone wall as she let herself drop. The rope cut into her hands, but it was only a short climb so why bother? When she looked up, his head was no longer visible.

She’d climb back up if he didn’t follow her soon.

Four meters. She started feeling for a ledge once it seemed to her that this was the distance between her and the edge above. After a bit of fumbling around with her toes she found something and tried to shift her weight to it. Narrow indeed. With an ugly curse, she shifted one hand from the rope to the rock surface to find a hold. Once she felt secure enough, she took the second hand off.

Still no movement above her.

She started sidling to the left. The ledge angled slightly down. Was it running in parallel to the stairs?

“Where the fuck are you?” she grumbled, feeling a pang of anxiety.

The rope disappeared. What the ...?! Not sure whether to yell in outrage or seethe quietly, she almost yelped when Levi’s legs appeared above her. No rope?! He held onto the balustrade, then started to scale the wall at a speed that wanted to make her heart drop.

“Are you fucking insane?” she hissed at him when he let himself drop next to her on the ledge.

“No time to chat, move!” he ordered.

She continued to edge sideways.

“Faster, you moron,” he ordered. “Where do you think they’ll look when they don’t find us?”

“We can’t outrun them!” she gave back.

“Not at your snail’s pace, correct!”

“Fuck you,” she said, “I hate you!”

“That’s good if it makes you go faster,” he replied, sounding almost amused. “There’s an alcove a little further, we have to reach it before they look down.”

Her shoulders were already hurting and her fingers were cramping up. A little further felt like an eternity and when the space opened up in front of her, she let herself fall forward with a grunt of pain, shaking her arms to uncramp them. Levi was there a moment later, his body forcing hers to move even further back.

He heaved a sigh of relief.

It was a very narrow space for two. So small, she could hear the beating of his heart, rapid at first, then slowing down amazingly fast. Zoë considered fumbling for his pulse to measure it - for science, of course - but then thought it better to remain standing still, with his back pressed up against her, the cold, uneven stone at hers.

“What now?” she whispered into his ear.

He shuddered. Ticklish? Zoë smiled and bent even closer.

“You’re a reckless fool. But I like it,” she cooed into his ear.

She heard him suck in his breath. Interesting. Getting reactions out of him had always been a favorite pastime.

“Be quiet,” he hissed. “I told you the sound carries.”

Spoilsport.

“What if they know about the alcoves? They might come down to check.”

“Then they die,” he simply said and now it was her time to shiver. From pleasure. That voice! In case they ever got more familiar with each other, she’d ask him to whisper death threats into her ears at night.

There were voices somewhere above them. She realized with a bit of a surprise that she wasn’t worried in the least, Levi’s warmth in front of her was like a comfortable blanket that shielded her from everything unpleasant that existed in the world.

Hard to say how long they stood in the dark like this, breathing in unison.

Long after everything had grown quiet, Levi edged forward carefully and held out an object that he had pulled from one of his pockets. A mirror, Zoë realized. Had he thought of everything? She felt oddly proud that he was so smart and capable.

“Looks clear,” he said after checking for several minutes. “Must have been military police. We know about the ledge.”

We. We, the people from the Underground, it implied. Zoë suddenly remembered Erwin’s words to her. _Watch him. We can’t lose him, Hange_. What if Levi wanted to stay down here and not come back with her? Would she know how to convince him?

“What now?” she asked him.

He turned sideways to be able to look at her. “How do you feel about climbing all the way down?”

Sixty meters straight down.

“Are you serious?!”

“I always am, don’t you know this by now, Hanji?”

The quiet laughter in his voice was new. She liked it.

“I’ll help you,” he offered. He pulled out the rope again and began to tie it around her waist.

“Can we leave the hats here at least?” she asked, finding the thought of going down walls with a top hat disturbing all of a sudden.

“No,” he said.

No explanation, as always.

“We go side by side,” he instructed her. “I’ll help you find good hand and footholds.”

“Maybe I’m an expert in climbing,” she replied testily. The little shit was a little too smug for her taste.

“Maybe not,” he huffed, “I watched you go down before.”

The stupid midget who knew how to do everything. Zoë glared at him but he probably didn’t see it in the dim light and if he did, he didn’t care in the least.

They stepped back onto the ledge.

“Use your feet to hold your weight, legs are stronger than arms,” he said and let himself drop. “Carefully lower yourself. A bit to the left,” he instructed from below soon. “Foot straight down. That’s it. Right hand thirty ten centimeters to the right and then eight centimeters up.”

He was way more patient than she had ever thought possible and didn’t call her names even once. It was almost getting scary, actually, when she slipped.

“Fucking be _careful_!” he roared, somehow managing to pull the rope short so she didn’t pull him down with her.

But after this one big mistake, she lost all her confidence. Her exhaustion crept up on her. Her arms shook. Her belly felt tight. Just further down. More. A little more. Which meant it wasn’t going to be so bad if she fell.

And fall she did. Very suddenly.

For a heartstopping moment, she felt the abyss yawn underneath her and knew this was the end. There was a sharp pull at the rope around her middle, but it didn’t stop her fall. Not this time.

Oh no. He was falling too.

Her eyes met Levi’s.

 _I’m sorry_ , she wanted to tell him, _this is all my fault. I shouldn’t have come with you, I’m useless here_.

She saw him push his body off the rock surface.

And then his arms were around her.

“Moron,” he said almost tenderly.

They hit a rooftop with a thud. All the wind was driven out of her and she expected the pain of broken bones and more, but there was none. Because Levi had cushioned her fall with his body. He was cradling her head against his chest with one hand and was trying to stop them gliding down the slanted roof with the other.

“Shit,” he said and they tumbled over the edge.


	9. Hotel "To the Merry Widow"

The first thing Zoë became aware of after the world had stilled was the sound of Levi’s heartbeat at her ear. _Lub dub, lub dub, lub dub..._

She took a deep breath. They were no longer falling. And he still held her pressed against his body like… pfft. The weird fluttering in her heart stopped when she realized how futile - no, stupid! - that would be in case of real danger. A Titan would just get a bonus, two tasty humans for the cost of one.

Idiot.

The next thought that took root in her head was _we’re rid of our hats after all_ which was accompanied by the strongest need to giggle.

Then she realized that they had landed on something extremely malodorous.

Which revealed itself to be a garbage dump when she opened her eyes. Remarkable. Their buddies would howl with laughter if she told them.

Levi groaned, stopping her strange train of thought.

“Are you hurt?” Zoë asked, pushing herself up so she could have a look at him. His eyes were closed. His cheek showed a coloring bruise from where she had hit him earlier. But no blood was dripping from his mouth. That was generally a good sign.

She touched his face. He groaned some more and his eyelids fluttered.

“Say something!” she demanded and slapped him gently, left and right, suddenly a bit worried. He had amazing reflexes but she had fallen on top of him both times and even though he had stuffed his fake belly with clothes and other soft things, broken bones was the least she expected him to have.

“Can’t… move…,” he pressed out.

Oh shit.

“Is it your spine?” she spluttered, starting to run through scenarios in your head what that meant - humanity was fucked! - how to get him to a hospital above grounds without causing too much of a problem for him - incognito? She could lie about his identity and…

“No, you are sitting on my legs, you stupid cow,” Levi growled and opened his eyes to give her a signature death stare.

Oups.

Zoë scrambled to the side, which instantly caused the pile they were on to become unstable, shift and...

... they were sliding again. More gently and slowly this time, but down a stinky, sticky heap of rotting waste, which carried them to a narrow alley between two tall houses, where three scrawny children stood awaiting the end of their descent.

“Hi!” Zoë smiled at them and tried to get up, slipped in the muck and fell back down hard. There were broken roof tiles scattered everywhere, she noticed. And their hats! They were waiting for them too. The urge to laugh was back. It was too comical.

“I don’t believe this,” Levi muttered, his nostrils flaring in anger and disgust. “Oh wait, no, I _do_. It’s exactly what I should have expected.”

He was pointedly _not_ looking in her direction when he got to his feet. So he was fine? All the better.

“What were you doing on the garbage heap?” the smallest boy wanted to know, scrunching up his dirty face into a suspicious grimace.

“That stuff grown-ups do, of course,” the tallest girl knew. She wore a tattered skirt with at least twenty pockets and had two thin, long braids. Hair color indeterminable.

“They fell from the roof, I saw them!” the third boy was picking his nose. The three heads looked up, then back down, eyes narrowing on them suspiciously.

Grumbling something, Levi pulled a coin from his pocket.

“Here,” he dropped it into the girl’s ready hand, “give this to the owner of this house. It will cover the cost for repairing the roof with some extra for you.”

The girl inspected the coin from all sides, then nodded as she let it disappear into one of her pockets.

“What were you doing on the roof?” she demanded to know. “Something perverted?”

“That normally requires undressing,” Levi told her down his nose. “Do we look undressed to you, brat?”

The girl looked them over. “No, but why are you _dressed_ like this? You look silly.”

Undeniably so. Levi’s belly was dislodged, his brown suit was splotchy, his spectacles askew, the grey paint they had used on his hair gone in parts. Zoë looked down at herself: Not much better. And her hair had come partially undone.

“It’s a disguise,” Zoë explained, righting her glasses and getting to her feet. Honesty was the best way of communication with children, wasn’t it? Or maybe not. The children looked thoroughly unconvinced, worse: suspicious.

“Should we get the authorities?” the smallest boy whispered loudly. “They are lying. Thieves, maybe.”

“Could they be fugitives?” The second boy sounded excited at the thought.

“There could be a reward!” the girl jubilated.

“Yes!!!!” the other two screamed, turning their big eyes on them again.

Levi exhaled angrily. “Who runs things around here?” he asked, whisking another coin from his pocket.

“Renzo,” all three said without a moment of hesitation, hands outstretched.

Levi scowled.

“You know who that is?” Zoë asked the obvious, but Levi was still busy ignoring her.

“Are you from above grounds?” the middle boy wanted to know from her. “Your skin looks so smooth.”

“Did you fall down the stairs?” the tiny one bent forward, his mouth open.

“Yes,” Zoë sighed, “silly, isn’t it.”

“Woah!” their eyes grew a little rounder. “And you didn't die!”

“Do you need a guide?” the girl asked eagerly, “I’m one of the best!”

Levi looked her up and down. “How much?”

“A Shilling!”

“That much, huh.”

“Well, I’m really good!” she bristled.

Was that a smile tugging at Levi’s lips?! Zoë bent forward to see the rare phenomenon but he pointedly turned his back on her.

“Very well then,” he addressed the girl, “we want to go to _The Merry Widow_. Back alley ways will do nicely. And I do have a few questions while we’re on the way...”

“Don’t forget your hat!” Zoë called, but he had already walked away pretending very hard she did not exist. Fine. Let’s see how long he would keep this up...

###

The girl did a good job. Levi would have chosen the same alleys back when he had still walked the streets and not used the rooftops, or later the vertical maneuvering equipment, to get around town.

Their guide also made sure nobody accosted them, which was more than he had hoped for. So they had really made it down here without being spotted by the Military Police - Levi was sure of that because they always operated on blunt force and not stealth, meaning they would have tried to arrest them already had they known who they were. Whether anybody else had noticed his arrival… he could not be sure yet.

“Are you limping?”

Zoë had sneaked up on him while he had been watching rooftops for lookouts. He could barely stand the stench from his own clothes and now he found it difficult not to retch when hers assaulted his nose in addition.

“Fuck off,” Levi growled. He felt bruised to his bones, of course he was limping. Hanji was a walking disaster and whoever was with her got drawn into the whirlwind of destruction around her. He should have known better than to have her climb that wall. Of course she would fall, what else. A miracle she hadn’t broken all her bones.

He huffed and stomped forward angrily, carefully hiding the limp that his body tried to force on him, gritting his teeth from the pain instead.

“No need to play tough,” she informed him amiably, still right behind him like she was glued to him. “I’m amazed you’re walking at all.”

Levi pressed his lips together to keep himself from screaming at her.

“So you cannot _help_ it,” she imitated his grim voice from earlier, “you _have_ to save me? That’s really cute, Levi.”

Cute! She would call this cute?! It was one of the most vexing things ever, this weird protective instinct!

He swiveled around to yell after all but when he saw the mischief in her eyes he just pressed his lips together even harder. No way he would give her the satisfaction of losing his cool.

“You’re like a tiny bodyguard,” she smiled sweetly, the eyes behind her glasses shining with mirth, “throwing yourself into danger for me. I’m moved. Seriously… I am.”

She held his battered hat in his direction. Levi snatched it from her hand and rammed it on his head without a word of thanks.

“A limping imp,” she mused, chuckling. “Get it? L-IMP-ing!”

_Har har_ , how fucking funny. He turned around and continued walking. She was just trying to rile him up, of course. And as always, she was succeeding.

Pushing her annoying presence from his mind with an effort, Levi paid more attention to their surroundings again. He’d been gone for months. Everything was familiar - sights, smell, and especially the filth - and yet, Renzo was in charge around here? He wasn’t quite sure what it meant only that it gave him a strange feeling of not-quite-right. Renzo had never shown much interest in the Church family business. Had he not declared himself an artist several years back?

Well, at least he had a name and someone he could meet.

All in all, it took them about an hour to reach the hotel with the name “Zur fröhlichen Witwe” with one short detour towards the end to organize a new set of clothes for both of them, tightly wrapped in oil cloth so they wouldn’t start smelling too. Serviceable pants and a shirt for him, though the fabric was a bit rough, and a dress for Zoë. A dress! It was payback. Only she didn’t know that yet, busy as she was gawking at everything around her, not paying any attention to him and the children. She would throw a fit once she saw and he was looking forward to that with mounting glee.

The hotel “Zur fröhlichen Witwe” was by far the best hotel in the underground city, meaning an acceptable level of cleanliness including a money back guarantee in case of bed bugs. But even better than that, Levi felt an almost bodily hunger to use them, the hotel had _bathing facilities_! The miracle of functioning plumbing was assured by substantive investments from businessmen above ground. That they only invested in facilities they would use themselves instead of helping the families down here more generally was a vexatious topic for another day.

“Here we are, sir,” the girl said proudly and pointed a finger at the white building. Levi nodded and paid the girl, adding a bit extra and giving the two boys a coin each too.

“Call us if you need us again!” the girl still held out her hand.

“What’s your name then?” Levi asked, ignoring it.

“Esmelda!” the girl exclaimed, patting her own chest. “Everybody knows me around here! Just call and I’ll come right away.”

“Is that a specialty of yours?” Zoë asked, watching the three kids disappear around a corner. “Using children for your strange plans?”

Ignoring her was still his best strategy and he only wanted to think of that bath he was about to take anyway. He pushed open the door and entered the hotel. It was several shades darker inside, with only a single oil lamp sputtering on the elevated front desk. The man who was looking in their direction from the deep shadows had very little hair on his head but a lot sticking out from his ears and didn’t bat an eyelid despite the stench they brought with them. Discreet, as to be expected from such an establishment. Levi’s mood lifted further. There were only a few minutes between him and his bath now.

“We require two rooms,” Levi said, pulling out the fattest of his purses and letting it fall on the wood suggestively.

“I am very sorry, sir, we only have one left. And only because someone had to leave at short notice.”

Levi rattled the purse. “I wish for _two_ rooms.”

“Really sorry, sir,” the patron wrung his meaty hands in honest distress, “I really have only one left!”

“Should we go to a different establishment?” Zoë suggested. Did she sound tired? Levi threw her a look. She looked a little pale. Had she hurt herself? Maybe he should have checked.

“This is the only acceptable one, believe me,” he remembered too late that he was still ignoring her and focused his attention on the owner again. “You seem well booked.”

“It’s the time of the year,” the man answered, somewhat evasively.

It had to be some kind of illegal gaming tournament, Levi surmised from his reaction. Which surprised him, given Erwin’s information about the worsening security situation down here. Well. It explained why the MPs were testier than usual.

“It is a very fine room, sir,” the proprietor said, “very cozy. The bed is large and very clean. I assure you that…”

“We take it,” Levi interrupted him whatever the assurance. Sharing a room with Hanji wasn’t an ideal situation but one room was better than no room and he didn’t need a bed anyway. Any chair would do for him.

“Is the bathing facility booked right now?” Levi asked when the proprietor handed him the keys.

“No, sir,” the owner’s right eye twitched a little in appreciation of their wish to bath, “it’s all yours.”

Their designated room was at the very top, right under the roof. The room was on the small side, with a large double bed taking almost the entire space. No armchair. Well, no matter. He could sit anywhere and nap, even on the floor.

Zoë stood in the door behind him and blinked when he turned around to check why she was so quiet.

“What kind of establishment did you say this was?”

“An establishment that has clean linens and plumbing,” Levi grumbled. “It’s where the rich nobs come to. There’s no better one.”

“There are cherubs on the tapestry.”

“So?”

“They’re… hmm,” she squinted.

Frowning, Levi stepped closer to study the tapestry. Ah. The all male cherubs who brandished huge erections were engaged in rather explicit activities. He shrugged. “Don’t look if you don’t like it.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” she murmured, “I was just wondering.”

She brushed past him and staggered towards the bed.

“Don’t sit down!” he yelled, grabbing her arm to prevent her from dirtying the clean sheets. “You’re filthy!”

“Even I agree, you freak,” she didn’t only sound tired, she also looked tired, Levi realized. Maybe it was the air? He knew that people fell ill from it, though not normally that quickly.

“They have a bathtub here,” he explained, “I’ll go first. We can change into new clothes afterwards and if you want to rest then, do. You can wait outside until I’m done. But _not_ in here.”

The bathroom was two floors down. After leaving Zoë standing in the corridor, looking like a weird scarecrow with strings of hair hanging down from the disintegrating hairdo, Levi undressed, threw his filthy clothes into the bin in the corner and filled the tub with deliciously hot water and some of the fragrant oils from the colorful bottles on display.

Too hot, he realized when he put a hand in.

He filled in some cold water too, growing increasingly impatient, finally climbing in and … _ahhh_. Levi groaned from the pleasure. His muscles unknotted one by one as he sunk in deeper.

Heavenly.

Or… it should have been. But something gnawed at the corners of his mind, soon beginning to fill a pool of anxiety deep in his belly as he washed his hair with the bar of fragrant soap.

Zoë shouldn’t be standing out there for everyone to see. This hotel was frequented by people who might recognize her, just like that Treibel guy had recognized her. They would not be up yet, it was barely noon, but soon…

Levi slid down until he was fully submerged.

Should he have asked her about sharing a room with him? A gentleman would have. But he wasn't a gentleman. Not that it meant anything in the military, but they were not exactly here on a military mission and it wasn’t like he didn’t feel stirred by her in those ways… he pushed those thoughts from his mind. It wasn’t like he was a slave to baser instincts either. It was unproblematic since she would be on the bed and he would be nowhere near her. More thoughts to push aside. He swore. He felt untypically uneasy, that was the problem. Should he be surprised? It was this place, of course. And the feeling that coming back here was a mistake. Deep down, he feared that this place wouldn't ever want to let him go again. Gutter rats had no place outside. They belonged down here. In the filthy. The dark. The hopelessness...

A loud banging sound made him jerk up, spluttering water.

It was Zoë, standing in front of him with both hands at her hips, the door wide open behind her.

“What is taking you so long?” she chided him with a deep frown. “You egoistical swine! Your groans of pleasure are torture!”

“Out!” he yelled. “Ever heard of privacy, shitty glasses?!”

“No,” now she grinned, narrowing her eyes to slits and very clearly ogling him shamelessly though she probably couldn't see much from where she stood. “I don’t know what that is. I just know I want to take a fucking bath too and you are taking much too long.”

Levi stared back at her. She didn’t budge an inch.

Fine.

There was only one way of dealing with Zoë Hange. If you couldn’t ignore her, you had to take her head on.

He jumped her in a flash of movement, splattering water everywhere. She was much too surprised to do more than utter a small surprised sound before, _splash_ , he had thrown her into the bathtub, filthy clothes and all, used water or not.

“Here we go,” he looked down at her viciously. “Your bath.”

“You…”

He knelt down on the wet tiles behind her and pressed her head down before she could get back her bearing.

“Quiet, you annoying woman.”

He let her go and she came up, spluttering insults.

“You tiny maggot, you will pay for this!”

“Oh yeah? I will?”

One more dunking.

“All these months I’ve been telling you to take a fucking bath,” he growled into her ear when next she came up for air, “and the one time I want to indulge a little you cannot wait to finally have one?”

More insults from her and attempts to sit up. He just pressed her down again. Her hair had come fully loose now, floating on the water like a strange brown water plant. Levi grabbed the bar of soap and when her head came back up, he started lathering her hair with it with firm, rhythmic movements.

“This,” he growled. “I’ve been wanting to do this ever since laying eyes on you. How can anyone's hair look like this?”

“Fuck, Levi,” she groaned, arching her back a little.

Ignoring her as best he could, he washed the soap from her head with fresh water. Not resisting anymore, was she? One more time. More soap. More kneading of her scalp. It wasn’t gentle. It was needed. 

Needy…?

He realized he wanted to do this all day.

He realized the door still stood open. That he was naked.

He realized she had gone still in the bathtub, breathing fast.

“Hmmmm,” she sighed, her eyes closed. “Levi…”

It dawned on Levi then, admittedly a little late, that this was a very bad idea. He could see her perky erect nipples through the wet fabric of her shirt. His body reacted eagerly. 

Hell.

He did the only thing that was sensible.

Grabbing a towel and slinging it around his midriff, he ran from the wet, steamy room and slammed the door shut behind him.


	10. A Show of Face

After Levi slammed the door shut so hard it almost jumped out of its hinges, Zoë sat in the rapidly cooling water in her silly disguise and wondered why she felt so insulted.

Levi was a rude asshole. There was nothing new or surprising about that fact. Only someone as insensitive as him would touch her the way he just had - while being naked, mind you! - and then leave her hanging like this. Worse, flee from her sight like she was a leper.

“Asshole,” she said out loud.

But hearing this made her realize that calling him names wouldn’t fix the weird hurt in her chest. Why did he hate her? Because she got on his nerves like he liked to tell her so frequently? Or because he thought her inept? Below his standards? She knew she wasn’t beautiful. Nor was she like a typical woman, she knew plenty of men who were far less manly than herself. But despite all this, there had always been enough men who had shown an interest in her, inside and outside the bedroom. And before Captain Midget the Vexing had crossed her path, she had never had an issue reading the signals they sent about that interest _correctly_.

Zoë sighed and stood up. Better to let it go. That little weirdo could just go to hell. She would stop being interested in him too. She would stop thinking about that torso, those abs, those arms, those hands. And the lips…

“Fucking handsome shitbag, go to hell,” she said and shook herself like a wet dog.

Shedding the drenched clothes and unwrapping the bindings from her breasts brought her some relief. Toweling herself dry, she wondered what she should do next. It would take a while for her clothes to dry… Go up to the room and wrap herself in some bed sheets? She could just lie around and think about all kinds of weird, pointless things.

She snatched up more towels on her way out so she wouldn’t have to walk up to their room naked, but quickly realized that someone had put clothes in front of the door. That someone had clearly been Levi because there was a note that said “For Shitty Glasses”. What horrible handwriting.

Wait… had she thought these were clothes? No, it was a fucking _dress_!

“You stupid moron I’m gonna kill you,” Zoë seethed as she tried to tie all those strings the right way in vain. A dress! He must have had a good laugh about that! She’d just beat the shit out of him, she decided, as she stormed up the stairs to their room. If he was still here. Which he most likely wasn’t. He probably had very urgent business judging from the speed with which…

Levi looked up from cleaning his knife as she barged into the room. He had put on different clothes too: a white shirt, black trousers and a brown vest.

“Do you think this is funny?” she challenged him.

“Not at all,” he replied.

“I’m speaking about this… this dress!” she pulled a face, waiting for him to mock her.

“Women wear dresses down here, end of discussion. Save your energy and be quiet if you want to come with me,” he shrugged and looked away. “And either wear your hair down or up properly,” he added, “not in this weird halfway thing you like to walk around with.”

“Like I’m listening to anything you say, you rude grump,” she murmured but sat down in front of the tiny vanity table at the wall to try her luck with her hair. “Where are we going?”

He started cleaning his knife again.

“Dickhead,” she murmured, shifting her attention back to her hair again. Up properly? What did he know about ‘up properly’! Up properly his fucking ass!

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay here and rest?” his voice sounded from behind her.

Their eyes met in the mirror. Huh? What new devilry had he cooked up now?

“You look like shit,” he explained.

Admittedly, she did feel a little queasy, as if her stomach was having a bad day going on worse. But that was probably just because she had not had anything to eat since early this morning.

“Thanks, you charming midget,” she huffed. “Are you trying to insult me again? That won’t work anymore. I’m immune now.”

Levi frowned like he had no clue what she was talking about. Typical. Didn’t mind, didn’t care.

“You couldn’t leave fast enough earlier,” she explained angrily. “Way to make a woman feel good about herself, you asshat.”

To her surprise, Levi didn’t snap an insult at her in return but turned deeply red instead.

“I shnot irkftk hmmmm,” he murmured, looking sheepishly at the floor.

Huh? If she didn’t know better she’d have thought that he was embarrassed? Shy, even. Zoë blinked, watching his half averted face in the mirror. No sass. No insults. _I’ll be damned_ , she thought. He was shy? Like in… was he inexperienced?! Maybe he had not had a girlfriend before?!

“How old did you say you are?” she asked, suddenly thinking about the possibilities of misjudging severely. Ew, gross.

“I didn’t,” he looked back up with a frown.

“You only look like a teenager, right? You’re not _really_ only fifteen.”

“Eat dirt,” he twirled his knife in his hand. “I’m not only fifteen. But hurry the fuck up.”

Exhaling angrily, she decided to leave her hair down, which was the biggest nuisance because it would whip into her face constantly - but she had no patience for hair on any day and was eager to finally explore the Underground City.

“Where did you say we are going?” she asked and jumped up.

“I didn’t,” he got up as well and wrinkled his nose at her. “But I’m going to show my face.”

“Your face.”

“Yes, my face. Are you hard of hearing?”

“You think yourself so handsome people have to be treated to a glimpse of your face?”

His eyebrows moved together into a perfect V. “I want people to recognize me. And I want those who wanted me here to reveal themselves. Got it?”

Ah. Another Levi _non_ -plan that would likely end with them falling down somewhere or getting attacked by knife-wielding criminals. She liked it.

“Alright!” she exclaimed and clapped her hands. “Let’s go show your face off!”

And no, she wouldn’t add ‘beautiful’ in her head. Levi was dead to her. So dead. Even if his face _was_ beautiful.

###

Crisis number one averted, Levi thought as they exited the hotel. Zoë was very annoyed with him, which he preferred to wet clothes, perky nipples and sighs of his name from her tantalizing lips. She looked surprisingly good in a dress, even though she had done a horrible job tying it properly. So good he hadn’t even felt any real satisfaction at her anger over his choice of clothes for her.

And she was clean. Which meant she smelled _very_ nice. Nothing had ever smelled that way down here. It made him want to press his nose to her neck and breathe in only her.

Ugh.

Levi shook himself and stomped forward. The back of his neck prickled, a sure sign that they were being watched.

Good.

He had no patience for playing games. He wanted to return to their Headquarters as soon as possible. He didn’t like to feel like this. Like… like he belonged here and not out there. Like he should stop dreaming silly dreams of freedom, stop yearning to see the vast sky above him during the day, with clouds drifting past on their way to unknown places, with birds flying around with no notion of what pleasure they enjoyed. Like he should stop marveling at the mind-boggling numbers of twinkling stars visible during some nights, stars that could well be other worlds, far, far away.

No.

This place would not have him again.

If he knew one thing, it was how to fight. And fight he would.

###

Zoë's bad mood dissipated within the first seconds of being outside. This underground city stank, but in a most interesting way. Garbage, sewage and something else… something she couldn’t quite place but that tickled her nose teasingly, like exotic spices. There were a lot of people walking around, doing all kinds of things. Mostly things people above ground also did, but down here, it definitely looked more interesting. More meaningful. For example, the shoemaker on the next corner - did he only make his strange looking shoes for people in the underground or did he also make them for people above ground? How come he lived here and not up there? She had questions, so many questions! Zoë tried to ask Levi in the beginning - “Hey, Levi, so how does food get down here?” - “Hey, Levi, there’s a lot of natural light down here, where does it come from?” - “Hey, Levi, when it rains outside, what happens down here?” - but he didn’t listen. He just stomped forward with a grim expression on his face, his hands buried in his trouser pockets, not looking left nor right, never stopping even for a second to wait for her when she examined something of interest.

They got to a much shabbier looking part of town eventually. The stench was stronger here, there were puddles of oily black water everywhere, and people shrinking into the shadows when they passed. Zoë’s excitement immediately surged high again when Levi pushed open the door to a tavern. She loved taverns! This one was called “The Bleating Mutton” and was filled with a sizable and fairly rowdy crowd of men.

Which fell dead quiet at the sight of Levi.

Very intrigued about the effect he had on them, Zoë studied the men staring with open mouths as they walked confidently from the door to the bar. They all looked like the kind of men to avoid when walking home alone at night.

“One pint of ale, one cup of tea,” Levi flipped a coin to the barkeeper. Very daring to turn his back like that! Zoë decided to watch the men. They were still frozen in what looked like shock.

“Coming right up,” the elderly man said, his tongue flicking out nervously as he tried hard _not_ to look at Levi.

“Can we eat something?” Zoë blurted out. Man, she was hungry.

“And two of those fake shepherd's pies,” Levi flipped another coin. “Make them warm enough.”

Levi sauntered to an empty table. Zoë was quite certain it had not been empty when they had entered. She skipped after him and sat down, suppressing a smile.

“They all know you,” she whispered.

“Mhm,” Levi answered.

“So you’re really famous down here?”

“Mhm,” Levi uttered again.

The barkeeper brought over their drinks, smiling at her nervously before scurrying away as quickly as possible.

“Are they afraid of you?”

Levi shrugged.

“Some.”

When that was all he seemed willing to share, Zoë began sipping her ale. Not bad! Nice and smooth, not too bitter. She noticed the other customers in the tavern started talking again in low, hushed voices, throwing furtive glances in their direction.

“Who’s that Renzo guy the girl mentioned?” Zoë asked Levi. “You know him?”

“Furlan’s brother,” he replied, picking up his teacup by the rim.

“So he’s a friend?”

“I wonder,” Levi said quietly.

“Do you think not talking is a good way to fill me in what’s going on?”

“Listen, Hanji.”

“Yes?”

The innkeeper put two steaming pies in front of them, dropping two spoons as well. Levi pushed his pie in her direction as well.

“You’re not eating?” Zoë frowned.

“I’m not hungry,” he claimed.

She shrugged and started digging in. Ugh. Strange taste.

“I’m still listening,” she said, chewing carefully. There was a lot of very tough stuff in this pie.

He looked at her fully then and she was a little surprised to see a very earnest expression in those usually so stern eyes.

“If I have to fight, I want you to stay back.”

“Are you serious?”

“Of course I’m fucking serious,” he bent forward. “I brought you here as a witness in case I get into trouble. You will observe and then report everything to Erwin.”

“Report to Erwin.”

“Stop repeating things I say!”

“You cannot seriously believe I’d let you have all the fun!”

“Erwin needs to know if something happens to me.”

“Then you should have waited for his return and gotten his permission, idiot!”

“You know as well as I do that he would never give it.”

Good point. Zoë had to agree that Erwin was unlikely to grant any leave of absence to any one of them.

“I refuse to be a mere witness though,” she swallowed a piece of something unchewable. “If we fight, I fight with you. Like we do out there. What do we keep telling you? We do this together. You are not alone.”

“Pffft,” Levi grimaced. “Together? That’s the kind of romantic bullshit Erwin keeps sprouting so people join his Loony Squad. Doing things together just means more people dying. It’s a cluster risk.”

“You joined the Loony Squad too though,” she challenged him. “What romantic bullshit did Erwin sprout to convince you?”

“He said, while holding swords to my friends' throats: ‘We’ll let you off the hook as long as you lend us your strength. Join the Survey Corps! You’ll be handed over to the Military Police if you refuse. Considering the length of your rap sheet, the Military Police will make your lives a living hell’”.

“Ouch,” Zoë pulled a face. That was so Erwin.

“My kind of romantic bullshit,” Levi shrugged. “Very convincing.”

“So you regret it?”

“No,” Levi answered after a tiny pause and sipped some tea. “He showed me the outside world. I rode a horse beyond the walls. That’s more than a gutter rat could ever wish for.”

“But it’s not too bad down here. From what I have seen…”

“You have seen _nothing_ ,” Levi hissed, his head suddenly very close again. “And I’ll make sure it stays like this.”

Gosh, his eyes. She had a total thing for his eyes when he glared like this, trying to be intimidating. She dropped her eyes to his lips. Hmmm, and those… Since he was shy, like she had so recently found out, it was on her to show him how it was done.

“Focus, Hanji,” he growled. “Don’t let down your guard, you shit for brains!”

“Levi!” someone shouted at the entrance, “Levi, you’re back!”

Zoë swiveled around but the intruding someone was already upon them, jumping across the table and tackling Levi to the ground along with the chair he sat in. Alarmed, Zoë jumped up to defend him, but Levi did not appear assaulted. He had put his arms around this someone - who was a woman. Where they… were they _kissing_?!

Before she could ascertain that, the woman pulled on Levi’s hand laughing and righted him back up. Long legs, a tiny waist and an impressive bosom. She also had long, auburn hair and was wearing… pantaloons! And a pair of worn black boots. Zoë huffed. Women wore dresses down here? Levi was an evil liar!

“I came immediately when I heard you were back,” the mystery woman beamed. “Where were you? I thought I’d never see you again!”

“Above ground,” he said, studying this woman’s face much too intently for Zoë’s liking.

“For that long? You’ve got to tell me everything about it!”

“I’m…”

“We’re just visiting,” Zoë interjected.

Burning dark-green eyes moved in her direction, then took in her dress, her face, her hair, all the while radiating hostility in palpable waves. _I don’t like you either_ , Zoë thought as she stiffened and restrained a need to bare her teeth.

“Who is this, Levi?” the woman asked snippy.

“Zoë, we work together,” Levi brushed down his shirt and vest and fussed with his hair for a second. Yeah, served him right for rolling around on tavern floors with beautiful women! Now he had dirt all over him.

“And you are…?” Zoë asked, mirroring the woman’s tone.

“Annika,” the woman said. “I’m Annika. But I’m sure Levi must have told you about me. I’m his...”

“I hear Renzo has taken over many districts?” Levi quickly changed the topic. Coward.

“Not a word, Annika, not a word,” Zoë smiled toothily.

Oh, but the woman commanded an evil eye that almost put Levi’s to shame!

“You’re here to escort us?” Levi asked, to again change the topic.

Annika threw Zoë another murderous look. “You. I am here to escort _you_.”

“Us,” Levi repeated. “You will escort _us_.”

_Take that, you bad mannered floozy!_ Zoë thought viciously. _We come in a pair!_

Annika pouted and then shrugged. “Fine. I can’t wait to hear about your adventures above ground! Are the houses as fancy as they say? And are the…”

Linking her arms with Levi’s, Annika drew him forward and out, not sparing Zoë another look. Flashing everyone a smile and granting them a regal wave, Zoë made sure to follow right behind.


	11. Debts Left Unpaid

It took Levi a considerable effort to keep himself from gawking at Annika, just like it took an effort to ignore the unsettling feeling in his stomach or to keep the unease off his face.

Her arm, demandingly interlinked with his, the locks of auburn hair clashing violently with the dull brown cloth of his vest, the pressure of her breasts against his side, her strangely familiar scent - clover, leather, and oil … it was all too real and yet, it felt like an ominous dream.

Annika embodied a debauched life of sin, where there were no rules besides the scramble for survival: take what you can get, never give anything back. Dangerous, ruthless, destructive, where those living right on the edge managed to look like winners even though they were half a tottering step away from falling into the abyss.

It was the life he had lived before he had somehow managed to step away from it.

It was also a life he never ever wanted to go back to. Even being chewed slowly limb for limb by a Titan while screaming your lungs out was preferable to it.

Chattering away as if she had not burnt down half a neighborhood in her crazy rage two years ago, Annika drew him forward into the kind of neighborhood he had vowed to keep Hanji out of. But he could not even muster the fortitude to stop and question Annika about her intentions. That was her effect on him, as if she cast a kind of spell that made his brain malfunction. It should be all the warning he needed and reason enough to step away and yet… saying no to her had always come at a very high price.

At the very least, he should have warned Hanji about the kind of person Annika was, mercurial to the extreme, radiant and beautiful one minute, a merciless killer the next. But he had been completely blindsided by Annika’s appearance and now that the wish to warn her became urgent, Hanji was trailing too far behind them, looking at their surroundings with that damn curiosity of hers, squinting at shadows in alleyways, broken windows and gaping doorways like she had never seen anything more exciting.

“She is Mitras-bred,” Annika remarked with a disgusted wrinkle of her nose, noticing where his attention had wandered to.

Levi shrugged, like that observation didn’t matter, but it did - how did Annika know? It made him acutely anxious. He wasn’t sure who had sent Maria to him, nor had he been able to find out why, which put him at a disadvantage.

“She’s ugly,” Annika sneered. “Is it even female? Kinda hard to tell.”

“Like I care,” Levi grumbled. He did though. He cared, much too much actually and that made him even more anxious. No, Hanji wasn’t ugly, not in the least. Everything else down here was though and that was why he didn’t want her to get soiled by it. Good job he was doing.

“So you work with her?”

Levi nodded once.

“What are you up to? How come someone like _you_ associates with the likes of her?” Annika’s tone of voice had changed and Levi felt alertness flood his senses at the menace in it. Why did she make this about Hanji? They had wanted _him_ to come down here, hadn’t they?

“So why are we on speaking terms?” he asked back, careful not to act on impulse and fling her away even though he veritably ached to bring distance between her and him - a lot of distance. But if he escalated too soon, blood would be shed. Annika was his match with a knife, he couldn’t forget that.

“I’ve forgiven you, that’s why,” Annika smiled, her eyes glittering dangerously. “How could I stay mad at you?”

“You once stalked a woman who sprayed a little dirt on a new dress of yours for two years.”

“Pah,” Annika made a dismissive gesture with her free hand. “That was someone who clearly deserved to be punished. You on the other hand…”

She smiled at him angelically, showing a row of teeth remarkably white for someone born and raised in the underground.

“Quit the crap, Annika,” Levi let his voice drop low, holding her bedazzling gaze. “We can never be friends again.”

She laughed but her eyes shot daggers. “Friends? Who is speaking about being _friends_? Are you addle-headed?”

He must be. Had he really said ‘friends’ as if she could even begin to understand what that was? Annika was just as dark and twisted as Kenny. Having Annika by your side down here was like getting a silk ribbon of excellence pinned to your chest. Keeping her next to you meant joining her in the pit of depravity. It was hard work. Once, it had seemed like the only path open to him. But now he had grown dangerously soft, Levi thought, feeling a brief apprehensive twist in his stomach. First Furlan and Isabel, who had insisted on calling him brother. They had weaseled themselves into his heart only to shred it to pieces. And when he had been at his weakest, Erwin had put beguiling notions of camaraderie and loyalty into his head. He stood no chance against the likes of her like this.

“... but you were by far the best fuck I ever had,” she added and smacked her lips. “Which quite annoyingly ruined me for everyone else. But I’m not telling anyone.”

“I’m no longer that person,” Levi heard himself say, as if some part of him felt compelled to explain himself to her. What a fucking idiot he was.

Annika laughed. “That’s a lie. Nobody can escape their true nature. But I see that you are trying. For her?”

She jerked her head in Zoë’s direction.

“Leave her alone,” Levi snapped, feeling his blood beginning to boil.

“Oh my, oh my,” Annika grinned again. “Are we a weeny bit protective? I wonder how little it will take to make her run away screaming.”

 _You’d be surprised_ , Levi thought with sudden satisfaction at the thought of Annika trying to take on Hanji and losing.

“My money is on her,” he said, unhooked his arm, took a deep breath of the putrid air and slowed down his steps far enough so that Hanji would catch up to them. Her eyes were glittering golden behind her glasses, showing her excitement.

“Keep up,” he told her with a frown, when he really wanted to fold her into his arms and tell her to be goddamn careful once again.

“Have you seen those children who…”

“Shut the fuck up,” Levi growled and grabbed her hand to pull her along, pressing it hard in the process. “Now’s not the time.”

Hanji didn’t pull her hand away. She just lifted her eyebrows questioningly at him and shook her head but left it at that. Maybe what she saw in his face made her more compliant than she usually was. He hoped it truly scared her.

###

Levi was as tense as she knew him to get right before engaging Titans. It radiated down his arm and into hers through their interlocked hands, making her own nerves tingle with the echo of it.

He thought they were in danger. That _she_ was. But she did not appreciate his concern for her much. He wasn’t the first man to get protective notions just because she had been born female. But he was Levi - and Levi wasn’t _like_ other men. Which was the whole point of her fascination with him, wasn’t it? In truth, she felt offended. All that ‘stay back when I fight’- bullshit was that and only that: bullshit. Why did he think she had wanted to join him? For a holiday? They were in this together. They would go through it together.

It had to be this woman who made him nervous, Zoë surmised. This gorgeous woman who walked next to him with provokingly swaying hips while oozing sex appeal and signalling willingness… definitely a past lover who wished to become a current one. That much for no experience and being shy, the bastard...

They were heading deeper into the muck and the darkness. The shadows around them deepened, the air grew heavier with all kinds of novel smells, and the puddles on the street glittered black and thick like tar. A sudden shudder raced down her spine. This was it! This was how she had always imagined the underground city to be like! Not like that well-lit, proper and tame part their lodgings were situated in.

“He still lives in this shithole despite all that territory he has acquired?” Levi asked that Annika woman.

“Of course. Only you made the mistake of uprooting yourself,” she shrugged with a smug sneer. “Don’t you know we creatures of the dark lose our power in the light?”

“Didn’t you talk about getting away too all the time?”

“That was before I lost the will to dream,” she retorted harshly. “Before the one person I trusted with my life betrayed me and crushed my soul.”

Interesting. Zoë strained her ears so she wouldn’t miss a single word of this exchange. So Levi had dumped her? She approved.

“Don’t use me as an excuse for the wretched decisions in your life,” Levi said angrily, “you have no soul and never had one.”

“Ouch,” Annika quipped, “still as vicious as ever with your tongue? Silly me missed it a lot, that little tonguesy.”

Levi’s face darkened even further and his jaw tightened. Zoë thought she even heard him grit his teeth. Damn, but she was dying to hear the whole story! What could his little tonguesy do? The tale seemed juicy enough to entertain her Squad for many a dark evening.

“Shut up,” Levi hissed at her.

“Unfair!” she broke into a wide grin, “I haven’t even said anything.”

“Stay alert, Hanji,” he reminded her sternly, “I really can’t babysit you.”

Moron.

Wrenching her thoughts away from tongues to the upcoming meeting seemed a good idea though. In the absence of any useful information from Levi, she had to go by what she knew. Which was wrecked little. This Renzo they were going to meet was Furlan’s brother. Zoë remembered meeting Furlan for the first time, when Levi and his friends had been presented to the squad. Granted, she had only had eyes for Levi and his haughty face, but Furlan had proved to be a pleasant enough guy later, with a quick, dirty mouth and quite some talent for soldiering. A shame he had died so early. Looking at how tense Levi was right now, she had to assume that Renzo wasn’t like his brother. But since she had a bit of personal experience with unpleasant brothers, she wasn’t worried. She knew exactly how to handle them.

When they reached their destination - a big house with sooty walls and guards in every possible place - and she came face to face with Renzo, she was pleasantly surprised though.

Not a brutish, nasty sort, but an exceedingly charming, very well built, tall and handsome man with blue eyes and tousled sandy hair. The word for this style was ‘windswept’, she thought. Only that there was no wind in this place. In fact, the air was completely still, almost too warm and carried the unmistakable odor of roses.

“Well,” Renzo got up from behind his desk with a smooth notion. “Look at that. The little king of the underworld is back.”

“Renzo,” Levi grumbled a rude greeting.

“And whom have we here?” Renzo stepped halfway around the desk to smile at her with interest. A dimple appeared on his right cheek and the skin around his eyes crinkled. He wore black, she noticed, from head to toe. She associated that color with clergy. Or henchmen.

“I’m Zoë,” she answered with an intrigued smile of her own. “Me and Levi work together.”

“I see,” Renzo waved for them to be seated, without shifting his eyes from her face. This was his office, Zoë guessed. There were stacks of papers on the table, neatly sorted into piles. The room was illuminated with many candles and their sheen made her notice several pictures with strong colors on the walls.

“Do you like them?” Renzo asked, noticing her interest.

“I’ve seen pictures like these before,” she observed, bending forward a little to see better. Idyllic country scenes, little houses in the middle of a sea of flowers. Children playing along a bubbling creek. Doe lifting its head in the greenest of forests.

And then it clicked. “Oh. I remember! There are several of those at my pa…”

Levi kicked her so hard against her shin she yelped. He glared at her menacingly. What the fuck?

“They fetch quite the price,” Renzo nodded and went back to sit on his chair, throwing a wary glance at Levi. “But I have no time to paint anymore. A shame, really. Looking at you makes me wish I could take up a brush again.”

“Oh,” Zoë blinked. “ _You_ made them?”

She had never paid a lot of attention to her family’s art collection, but this style was unmistakable. She looked at Renzo with even more interest. Were all crime bosses like him? If yes, she should have come down here much earlier in her life.

“Would you pose for me?” Renzo asked, leaning forward a little.

Annika, who was loitering in the back, hissed. Renzo lifted his eyes with an instant frown.

“If you don’t behave, Anni, I’ll throw you out,” he admonished her sharply.

“You’d be sorry,” Annika grumbled. “You know what they say about me and luck. Besides, she’s ugly.”

“Oh, most definitely not,” Renzo smiled, shifting his gaze back to Zoë.

Zoë felt her cheeks color a little and she had to stifle a girlish giggle. Levi next to her radiated so much displeasure it came off him in waves, but what could a woman do? Renzo Church was just too _charming_.

“She’s not available,” Levi growled, instantly spoiling her flirtatious mood.

“Does she answer to you?” Renzo asked, narrowing his eyes to slits.

“No,” Zoë said.

“Yes,” Levi said at the same time.

“Looks like you two have things to work out,” Renzo grinned, leaning back in his chair, putting his hands behind his head to show off his sizable biceps. “In the meantime, I have use for you, Levi.”

“I’m not available either,” Levi grumbled.

“I know why you are here,” Renzo’s eyes looked decidedly less warm and friendly when he looked at Levi, “but I think _you_ don’t know. That must irk you.”

“It wasn’t you who called me?”

“It wasn’t me,” Renzo smiled and this time, he looked like a cat that had just found a pot of cream. “But the timing couldn’t be better.”

He opened a drawer to his right, leisurely leafed through its content and pulled out a sheet of paper.

“This,” he drawled, “is a borrower’s note. The debt is overdue.”

“I don’t have any debts,” Levi frowned but his body stiffened visibly. “And certainly not to you.”

“But you do,” Renzo’s smile faltered. “My stupid little brother and his good heart… so much money flushed down the drain for medical supplies and the like… so pointless. But here… let me read you this passage.” He cleared his throat dramatically and then began. “‘I, Furlan Church, will pay back the full amount borrowed from the Henauer Brothers by August in the year 845, including a half-yearly interest rate of 14%. To secure this loan, my gang’s future earnings shall serve as collateral.’ Etc. etc., signed: Furlan Church.”

Silence. Zoë blinked slowly. This sounded like trouble.

“Did he forget to tell you? Silly Furlan. He idolized you so much, he thought you’d get insanely rich with those artless little stunts you pulled. He probably thought you wouldn’t mind and it wouldn’t matter. But it always does in the end, doesn’t it. There’s nothing you do down here that doesn’t come back to haunt you.”

Levi sat completely frozen.

“By the law of the underground, you, the head of his former gang, are now the debtor. Because Furlan is dead. He won’t be able to pay back this debt.”

Levi exhaled slowly.

“Oh yes, I heard about his death,” Renzo continued. “It’s useful to be well informed in my position. Not that _you_ felt a need to tell his family.”

“He wanted nothing to do with you and your family business anymore,” Levi said very quietly. “I buried what was left of him and vowed he could rest in peace.”

“Yes, well… sometimes there’s not much of a choice, is there. Do you think I wanted this life?” Renzo made a dramatic pause. “Of course I didn’t. I wanted to be a painter and drink and smoke myself into a stupor every day. But then I suddenly was the only brother left, tsk.”

“You look happy enough,” Levi remarked drily.

“Oh, I am, I am,” Renzo pursed his lips. “But I couldn’t know how wonderful life as an underground kingpin would be before I tried it. The part I like the most is collecting debts. And sending Annika for emphasis.”

Annika giggled.

“You got the borrower’s note from the Henauers?” Levi’s voice was still uncharacteristically soft and Zoë felt a sudden urge to take and press his hand.

“No,” Renzo chuckled. “They came to me. Since _you_ were nowhere to be found and they really wanted their money. I decided to settle the bill … and to inherit the debt.”

“I don’t have that kind of money,” Levi said darkly.

“Oh, that much is clear,” Renzo grinned.

“What do you want?”

“Well…,” Renzo interlinked his fingers and put his chin on them. “First, I want to gloat. You little shithead, you always behaved like you’re something better. But you’re a gutter rat just like the rest of us and the gutter wants you back. I will enjoy seeing you squirm in the dirt _so much_.”

Zoë opened her mouth to say something but Renzo looked at her with eyes so cold she thought it better to shut her mouth again.

“Second, I want to thank you for bringing your own collateral with you. It will make everything so much easier.”

“Leave her out of it!” Levi pressed out.

“Do you think I got to where I today am because I’m a nice person? Pleased to meet you, Zoë Hange. Glad to say you’re worth your weight in gold.”

Oh no! Zoë groaned. He knew who she was. Being the child of rich, entitled assholes was not what you wanted to be down here.

“There are people down here looking for you at present, Miss Hange,” Renzo continued smoothly, “but I will make sure they won’t find you. Yet.”

Theodor had made good on his word then? Fuck this. She hadn’t seen nor spoken to her family in years, and now they suddenly developed an interest in her whereabouts?

“I’m sorry, Levi!” she said quietly but he seemed beyond caring, stewing in his anger like a pot about to boil over.

“Good, now that we understand each other, here are my terms, Levi. I’m not interested in money, I have plenty. But I’m interested in your notoriety. Tonight, you will gamble for me.”

“Gamble.”

“Oh yes, you heard correctly. It’s the event of the year, really,” Renzo smiled. “And I understand you used to be quite good at swindling rich nobs? Annika told me all about your scams.”

Levi groaned in misery while Annika clapped her hands somewhere behind them cooing happily.

“There’s one particular person I want you to focus on. Milk him dry. And when he is destroyed, bring him to me.”

“What else?” Levi demanded to know.

“I’m sure you can guess,” Renzo drawled. “I’m interested in your body.”

Waitaminute… Zoë threw Levi a worried look. That little juicy body…?

Renzo laughed.

“I see Miss Hange thinks like one of us. I do not have _that_ kind of interest in his body, precious Zoë, though I’m sure he’d fetch a handsome sum. No - this is about fighting. There’s a series of matches coming up, organized by yours truly. I want you to be my champion, Levi. And I want you to win as long as I tell you to. Are we clear?”

Remarkably clear. They were in deep shit. And it had happened so quickly! Excitement began to bubble in Zoë again. What a challenge. What a goddamn challenge. This adventure… it was certainly worth it.

###

They kept them apart zealously for hours afterwards. A standard procedure for prisoners that you did not want to sync their escape plans - nothing unexpected. But the dress coat one of Renzo’s cronies handed him fit him so well that Levi had to wonder: Had Renzo perhaps planned this some time ago? He should have paid more attention to the happenings in the underground after joining the Survey Corps. He should have _known_ they didn’t want to let him go. Nobody escaped. Ever.

Then he’d just have to make sure he’d be the first. After cleaning up this mess and cutting all ties to this hovel of shit for good. He had better things to do now. Which was killing Titans.

He was ready for anything once another of Renzo’s men came to fetch him and took him downstairs to the entry - apart from Hanji sauntering down the steps in an elegant dress, jewelry and a coiffure that made her about ten inches taller.

“Shut your trap,” she hissed at him, turning an alarming shade of pink everywhere down to the round mounds of her breasts that looked ready to pop out of the bodice at any minute.

“What… h… have… t… they...,” yes, it was better to shut his mouth than to stammer like this. He felt his cheeks heat up. Damn, how embarrassing!

“If you say one word of this to anyone, I’ll kill you,” she pressed out, staggering in his direction on what appeared to be silk slippers with heels.

Oh no. He’d keep this image to himself. Always. This was Hanji how she would have looked in a different life. A life so removed from his own he would never have set eyes on her. The green of the silk hugging her body brought out the milky color of her skin, made her hair shine like his favorite burnt sugar dessert his mother had used to make for him, and her eyes…

Levi swallowed compulsively. No glasses. Her eyes shone like stars from her eyes.

“Do you think those are real?” Hanji whispered, fiddling around with the emerald necklace around her neck.

Levi nodded, still at a loss for words.

“If we run away, will this be enough to clear the debt?”

Levi groaned. “Don’t.”

“Don’t run away?”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Asshole,” she hissed, “Can’t you see I am on my best behavior! Do you know how tight this fucking dress is here?”

She pointed to her waist and breasts.

“And do you know I see close to _nothing_ without glasses? See this?” she pointed at a beautifully adorned reticule dangling from her wrist. “They’re in here. Who would willingly put an indispensable object into a stupid little bag like this? I'll tell you who. Women. That is stupid. Running away with an obviously expensive necklace - _not_ stupid.”

“Just… don’t…,” Levi took a deep breath and briefly closed his eyes. Okay, telling Hanji not to do things would probably only result in her doing them to anger him. This was Hanji after all, even though she looked… she looked… “I’m sorry for dragging you into this, this is not your battle. I will clean up this mess and then we’re out of here.”

“Oh yes,” she grinned at him. “I have no doubt. But you know what, Little King of the underworld? I’ll be with you all the way. Get that into your head!”

A sudden warmth flooded his belly. He recognized the feeling: Someone had weaseled themselves into his heart again. Erwin’s beguiling notions of camaraderie and loyalty… they had taken root.

“Hanji…,” he began, but before he could make a fool of himself and say something emotional he’d be much ashamed of later, a chipper voice behind him made him jolt out of this sentimental folly.

“Are we ready?”

Annika. Looking her finest, radiating murderous intent in a dark red dress. _That_ red dress. It had been soaked in blood when he had last seen her wear it. She had forgiven him, she had said? Never.

She stepped forward to take his arm possessively.

“You look very fine, Levi,” she cooed. “I can’t wait to gamble with you by my side again.”

He remembered all their tricks. How could he not? They had practiced until they had dreamt of nothing else.

“You make a fine pair,” Renzo chuckled, stepping from a door to the side, five bulky guards behind him. He was wearing black velvet and a hat with a red feather. How foppish.

“And you…,” Renzo’s eyes glittered when he offered Hanji his arm. “You are just gorgeous.”

Levi recognized the look in his eyes. It was the kind of look men gave women they wanted to possess. But nobody would ever possess Hanji as long as Levi would be around to prevent it. Hanji had to be free. Free to do what she wanted.

“Gorgeous?” Hanji echoed and laughed heartily. Then she looked over at him and winked.

He wouldn’t want to be down here with anybody but her, he realized. Whatever was going to happen now… it would be epic.


	12. A Gamble

Getting access to high-stake gambling events in the underground was quite a challenge. With the Military Police going after the better known establishments because the conservative forces in the central government demanded an eradication of sinful temptation, locations had to change frequently, access had to be tightly regulated, and runners dispatched to spread the word mere hours before the doors opened.

It was all part of the excitement of course.

Rich, bored people were all the same, Levi thought, as he swept his eyes over the gathering. Not giving the slightest fuck about the fate of those who struggled with failing crops and threat of starvation, they came here to lose half a fortune without a second thought, saturating the air with their nauseating perfumes, spoiling their valuable silk clothes with sweat.

Tonight’s venue wasn’t large, but all the more crowded. The air was thick with the smoke from the pipes, making your head swim even if you didn’t partake in inhaling the vapor directly. Small red lamps hung from the ceiling at irregular intervals, bathing the room in a dim, ominous light interlaced with shadows that held the promise of exhilarating debauchery.

A selection of card and dice games beckoned. There were only ten tables, but the stakes were dizzyingly high. The only women in the room were Renzo’s lures. Annika, who had gotten first pick, had settled for Chemmy.

A good scammer knew how to draw out the inevitable. How to let their prey win, to boost their confidence and then, when they were getting too excited or too confident, how to pluck them slowly, feather by feather or, depending on character, plunge them straight into the pit of doom.

Annika was one of the best. She did nothing by half measures - and when she gambled, it was like she lived for every card she drew, for every dice she rolled alone. She was simply dazzling, the very air around her seemed to caress and covet her. But one thing she had never done was sold her body for money. Even when her breasts had barely started to grow, drooling men had queued up for a favor. Every single bawd in the underground city had tried to force her into the horizontal trade. Levi had sent each and every one of them packing until they had stopped coming.

Everybody who came here knew Annika was not for sale. It was part of her appeal. Hope kept them trying, failure only made them come back for more. Half the men at the table were so smitten with her they paid no attention to him. The other half was trying so hard to impress her they were just as oblivious to anything he did. Good, because his skills were rusty. Had he not hated all of them with a vengeance, Levi could have felt sorry for them. What besotted fools.

Their target - a vain, grey man past his prime who thought it wise to wear expensive rings on his fat fingers when coming to the underground city - was seated on a chair opposite of Annika so that he had full view of her low decolletage. He was winning. His face shone with sweat and excitement and the way he licked his lips suggested he was not only thinking of cards. Annika was down to a few chips, giving them a forlorn stroke from time to time, making the men around the table shudder with desire.

“I’m out of luck tonight,” she intoned tearfully, her voice vibrating with a special timber that seemed to drive her admirers nuts.

“I can lend you some money,” an eager man with a thick mustache offered. “With no interest! As long as you can continue playing…”

“Me too!” the thin man to his right intoned. “I’ll lend you some as well!”

But Annika shook her head slowly to those and other assurances, her large eyes moist with unshed tears. “Maybe another round of drinks to say goodbye?”

Another few digits were added to the men’s tabs, because Annika only deserved the best of the best, and more bubbly alcohol flowed down their throats. Everyone looked red in the face now. Levi dealt the cards.

Their target set a large sum on himself. Annika set her remaining chips on the bank.

The bank won.

Fifteen rounds later and Annika had a nice enough stack in front of her again.

“Another round of drinks?” she lisped, hope shining from her eyes. Damn, but she was convincing.

Their target put money on the bank. Player won. Their target put money on a tie - and a tie it was. Annika smiled at him encouragingly. Their target put money on himself. The bank won. Losing, losing, winning. Losing, losing, losing, winning. Losing, losing, losing, losing, winning...

“I need a break,” the target suddenly murmured and pushed back his chair with an ugly scraping sound.

Levi stood more upright at the interruption. How much time had passed? It almost felt like he had been shaken from a trance of counting, dealing, shuffling, counting. His head felt strangely light. He needed a break too.

“But…,” Annika fluttered her eyelids. In vain.

“Gotta piss,” the target hiccuped, swaying on his feet grimacing. “I’ll be right back.”

“Do we take a break as well?” Annika smiled at the rest of the table though she was clearly not amused. “A few minutes?” The men got up and staggered away, one by one. Some looked almost green in the strange light.

“Fuck,” she kicked the table hard, “we were so damn close!”

Levi looked after their retreating prey and shrugged. “I doubt he will be going home already. He’ll probably be back.”

He looked much more sober suddenly though... Throwing them a burning look, he disappeared through the door. Strange.

“Do you think I have nothing better to do than wait for him to return?” Annika snapped and grabbed a drink to down its contents.

“Yup, about right,” Levi mumbled and looked at the pack of cards in his hand. It took much practice to recognize the little marks from a distance. Much and continuing practice. Annika hadn’t slacked off, it seemed. Awaiting his return? The thought made him sick.

“Are you upset that I’m working for Renzo?” Annika asked suddenly, getting up to sit on the table near him.

“That would imply I care,” Levi fanned out the cards.

Annika tipped on one and he flipped it: The Queen of Hearts. She smiled. It was an old trick they had done together many times.

“You’ve always cared, that’s how stupid you are. But he’s not interested in me,” she mused. “Not in that way. It’s quite strange.”

“Pffft,” Levi shuffled the cards again. “Those men exist, you know.”

And she had no power over these men. Renzo was smart if he knew how to keep her by his side without falling for her wiles. Or he had something with which to keep her in check? Something like this debt he had sprung on Levi, maybe. But did someone who had no emotional attachments even have vulnerabilities?

“Why did you dump me?”

The question was sudden and Annika managed to sound dejected as she posed it. But he wouldn’t fall for her tricks ever again. Where she knew to pretend deep emotions came from there was nothing but a charred wasteland.

“Because you are a psychopath,” he stressed every word so there could be no misunderstanding between them. “Just like Kenny. You almost destroyed me. Just like Kenny. Every day, I thank my good fortune that I stepped away before you took my humanity from me.”

“I can try to do better. For you I would.”

Her pout was a dangerous trap. Her strange sincerity would stir a stone. Levi decided it was safer to concentrate on the cards instead of looking at her. “Nobody can escape their true nature, remember?”

Her movement was lightning quick but so was he; he had let down his guard around her once and had learned his lesson. His hand caught her wrist before the small knife could reach his side. The cards scattered, fluttering in the air like strange butterflies for a brief moment.

“I’m going to fucking kill you,” she hissed, straining against his grip.

“Keep trying, Anni, keep trying,” he whispered into her ear, pressing down hard, his cheek pressed against hers. “But don’t dawdle too much. This place makes me sick. I will clean up this debt and then to leave for good.”

“You can’t. Nobody can.”

Levi felt a wave of dizziness wash over him. He pressed harder, almost snapping the bone of her wrist until she finally dropped the knife to the floor with a grunt of pain. He kicked it away, far out of reach, watching it glitter before it disappeared in the shadows.

“Something… something’s not right,” Annika exhaled and sagged against him.

###

The air was so bad in the main room that Zoë immediately started coughing her lungs out. Feeling her already upset stomach revolt against the sickening sweet smell of the smoke that clouded the air, she walked forward, bumping into something fleshy, sweaty and soft that came out of nowhere. Disgust was instantaneous and strong.

“Beg your pardon,” the man slurred as he swayed past her.

Someone made a grab for her bottom and pinched, earning himself a hard elbow to the ribs. That was no deterrence for others. Where did all those grabby hands come from? Zoë bashed her elbows and knees into all the body parts she could reach, then straightened, brushing a bit of hair from her face, and put on her glasses that she fished out of her reticule that still dangled from her wrist. Better. She swept her eyes over the milling crowd. Where the fuck was he?

There.

At the very back, Levi stood at one of the gaming tables, intimately hugging Annika.

Right. It wasn’t like she hadn’t known that there were women who could get every single straight man to lust for her - and women like herself who had to put up with lies that she was ‘gorgeous’. Swallowing down her disappointment, she made her way across the room towards the black-clad figure who turned his eyes on her with a frown.

“What are you doing here?” Levi hissed. The usual warm welcome from the biggest abrasive asshole alive, what else.

“I was looking for you,” she tried to say but what came out of her mouth sounded strangely slurred.

“You shouldn’t be in here,” Levi let go of Annika to grab Zoë’s arm. “Someone might recognize you. Where’s Renzo? He gave me his word he would protect you.”

With no support from him, Annika fell forward, off the table and onto the floor. Zoë frowned. That was some effect Levi’s hugs had! The room did a sudden lurch and Zoë staggered. Shit.

“Are you drunk, idiot?” Levi asked and peered up into her face, his hands gripping her shoulders so hard it was almost painful.

Drunk? Zoë shook her head. She hadn’t drunk much. Some ale. Then some of that bubbly stuff that tickled your nose. A woman got thirsty after all.

“Fuck,” Levi swore, throwing a brief look at Annika’s motionless body, “we need to get out of here.”

“Ah, yes…,” Zoë leaned close to him because her voice sounded too soft in her own ears, it wouldn’t carry. She had come here to warn Levi after all. “Renzo is… he…”

“I’m taking you outside,” Levi murmured. “The air will be marginally better there and you can tell me what’s going on.”

The blood was pounding in her ears as Levi dragged her across the room towards and out the door, muttering foul curses under his breath.

“This way,” he said, steering her to the left, into some kind of corridor with many doors. Once they were alone, he stopped, leaned her against a wall and faced her.

“What’s going on, Hanji? Why did Renzo let you go?”

“He left abruptly,” Zoë slurred, thinking that Levi looked exceptionally cute with his cheeks slightly reddened and his hair a little messy. “With some guy who burst in.”

Levi frowned, then cocked his head to listen. After which he ripped open a door behind them so suddenly Zoë yelped in surprise. A bed was in there. As was a person on that bed. The person was clearly dead, with blood slowly dripping to the floor from a huge, ugly gut wound.

“Oh,” Zoë stepped forward to have a closer look. A fascinating wound. Like someone had made it in order for the now dead person to suffer a lot until the end. But Levi grabbed her arm and pulled her back hard, making her protest.

“We better get out.”

“But why? This is…”

“... nothing you want to get involved in,” he interrupted roughly, rushing to the next door after leaning her against the wall again. Inside the room another dead body greeted them. Now she could smell it. The blood. The guts. It mingled with the already putrid air in the most unpleasant way. Oh shit, she was going to be sick.

And then the commotion started at the other end of the house.

“Make way! Make way in the name of the king!”

Shouts and footsteps, curses and grunts followed that command.

“It’s a raid,” Levi murmured, his eyes darting left and right as he was looking for a way to escape. “This is a trap.”

“There are stairs over there,” Zoë pointed.

Levi nodded and started running.

“What… what about Annika?” Zoë called after him.

But Levi had already disappeared up the narrow stairwell.

“Hey! You there!” someone called out from behind Zoë.

She turned and ran. Well, wobbled... before kicking off her stupid shoes to continue after Levi in her stockings. But dammit, she still wobbled. Her legs felt like rubber. She also felt like her stomach was steadily pushing its contents towards her throat.

“Hurry the fuck up,” Levi snarled at her and pulled her along roughly.

“Take that off,” he briefly stopped on the next landing, pointing at her.

Yes, the dress was in the way, its swinging motions slowing her down.

“There are too many bu…”

Levi grabbed the fabric at her breasts and ripped hard. With success. The green fabric split with a strangely satisfying sound right down the middle. Zoë shrugged out of it, tottering precariously on her feet as she stomped down the silk. The underwear she was wearing didn’t exactly cover her well, she noticed.

“Stop! In the name of the king!” someone shouted below.

Pressing his lips together, Levi grabbed her hand again and pulled her forward, then up and up. They heard boots thunder on the stairs behind them.

“You continue until you see a hatch in the roof,” Levi ordered her. “Crawl through it, then wait for me.”

“What are you…”

“Just go!” he pushed her forward and swiveled around, to face their pursuers.

Zoë thought she’d rather throw up without him looking and continued forward. There were shouts behind her, then the unmistakable thumping sounds of fists hitting flesh. Then the hatch appeared when there were no more stairs. It was rather high up, but she managed to open it after the third try. A small window swung down. She jumped for it and pulled herself upwards, wiggling her body out onto the rooftop.

Where there normally would have been cool night air there was only the stale, warm air of the underground city. Everything stank.

Zoë’s stomach cramped and she had to throw up so hard, it felt like her innards were ripped out of her.

She moaned miserably, wiping her mouth with shaking hands.

Another spasm. More vomit.

She felt a presence join her on the rooftop, a familiar shape who took off his dress jacket and draped it over her shoulders, the warmth from his body lingering in it.

“We need to go. Can you walk?”

She nodded though she wasn’t sure she could.

Levi took her hand and dragged her forward, first balancing along the gable, then down the tilted side.

“I am sorry,” she moaned and was sick again. Everything wavered in front of her eyes.

“I’ll get you to shelter,” he told her. “But we cannot stop. You know what will happen if the military police apprehend us here.”

“Just leave me here,” she was shaking all over by now. Court-martial be damned, she couldn’t go any further.

“Shut up,” he pulled her forward again.

She managed a small jump. They climbed up on another roof and down on the other side. Was this some kind of strange nightmare? There was nothing left inside her stomach and still she retched and retched, her head a bulb of pain.

“What if I get the shits too,” she moaned, feeling her stomach turning into liquid fire.

“Then I’ll just kill whoever did this to you more slowly,” he said.

Two houses further and her legs gave way under her. She was done. She couldn’t even push herself upright anymore. Not losing a second, Levi bent down and swept her up into his arms.

“I’m too heavy, don’t do this,” she struggled feebly, but he just grabbed her more firmly and sped up again.

“I said shut up or I’ll gag you.”

It occurred to her that she was still wearing an invaluable emerald necklace over barely nothing, which was the most ridiculous thing she had ever done. But laughing hurt her stomach. Her head. Her whole being. Levi’s face above her was grim, his jaw set in stone. She put her arms around his neck to take some of the weight off his arms. He looked down at her briefly, with eyes that to her relief were without disdain for her and her stupidity.

“I’m so sorry,” she said. Tears seemed too close to finding a way out of her eyes but she wouldn’t make an even bigger fool of herself by crying.

“Say that again and I’ll drop you,” Levi growled.

His balance was amazing, a detached part of her realized when he slid down the side of a roof with her in his arms, no wonder he had mastered their 3D maneuvering gear so quickly. He jumped. She yelped. He jumped again. Now they were on a narrow street. The houses to each side looked like deserted ruins, but the shadows moved like living things. Was she hallucinating?

Levi said something which she didn’t catch.

Then, they were inside one of the houses and going down… down a set of stairs with missing pieces. She felt Levi’s breath come faster now, his chest rising and falling much more quickly against her side.

And then he staggered into damp blackness, kicked a door shut and dropped her onto something that felt like a pile of rags.

“Bucket,” he rasped, kicking something metallic in her direction.

She heard him move, then a light flared up, illuminating his pale face. He lit a candle, held it up high and had a look at their surroundings.

They were in a small room with packed up provisions and weapons on shelves and a mattress on the floor on which she currently lay. It looked like a hide-out of sorts.

The dust was so thick it looked like a blanket.

Levi groaned miserably at the sight.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said, reaching for the bucket. “It’s only dust.”

“Not one word,” he glared at her. “Just throw up into the bucket and try not to die. I am going to clean now. And when I’m done, I want you to be fast asleep so you won’t bother me anymore.”

Watching him dust and swipe while muttering curses was strangely soothing. She drank a bit of something he handed her in a bottle, immediately throwing it back up. Neatly into the bucket. He put a rough blanket over her after shaking it out for at least half an hour. It was heavy and made breathing a little difficult, but moving had become an impossibility anyway.

Levi opened the door to the darkness outside.

“Don’t go,” she murmured, a sudden flare of panic jolting through her.

“I’ll be back after cleaning this, you dummy,” he grumbled, lifting the bucket for her to see.

And he was, after what seemed too many seconds. Levi put a cool cloth on her forehead and peered into her face intently.

“Why are you not sleeping?”

“I made a big fool out of myself, haven’t I?” She had to focus on not crying again.

“Close your eyes,” he ordered and took her glasses off her nose carefully, folding them up and putting them into his shirt pocket.

“Please don’t leave me,” she blurted out, feeling an instant wave of embarrassment at her weakness.

“No more talking,” he scolded and lowered himself down to sit on the floor next to her. “Don’t worry about a thing. We’re safe here for a while.”

He took her hand into both of his. His thumb drew slow patterns on her wrist, her palm.

“Sleep now,” he whispered. And she did.


	13. Antidote

Hanji suddenly got much worse a few hours after falling into a restless slumber. However hard he tried, Levi could no longer rouse her. Her breathing became irregular, her pulse erratic. Her fingernails turned black.

So it was what he had dreaded: She had been poisoned.

Death, so a saying in the Underground, had a seat at every table. But even though it was their constant companion from the moment they took that first gulp of putrid air, Levi had found it impossible to get used to the idea that people simply ceased to exist once Death took them. That however much someone might scream, kick, and fight, they always lost the battle in the end. One moment here, the next… a final rush of air out of their lungs and they were gone, leaving a terrifying emptiness behind.

As a small child, he had dared hope he could bargain with Death. He had found a small bird lying in the muck behind their house, stirring feebly when he poked it with a finger. Levi had carried the fluffy creature home, feeling its heartbeat flutter against the palm of his hand. His mommy had told him that prayers were a good thing because they sometimes gave you hope - and so Levi had prayed: to Death, the Great Taker, to spare the little innocent bird who had had the misfortune to fall down into the darkness from its world of light.

His mother sometimes told him about that world of brightness. She enthused about a blue thing called sky, which apparently could change color at will. He didn’t quite believe that but decided not to spoil her wondrous stories with his doubts and was quietly content instead to see his mommy’s eyes light up when she allowed herself to remember joyful things.

Because it proved that the outside she cherished so much truly existed, the bird was an invaluable treasure to him. He made a comfortable nest for it from colorful rags, which he put into the corner next to his mattress. He fed it flies, maggots and spiders several times a day. Very soon, the bird lifted its head every time Levi entered the room, chirping in anticipation. It made him very happy.

But one day it stopped chirping. There was something in its eyes on that dreary morning, something that haunted Levi in his nightmares for months afterwards. It was a desperation that knew no salvation, a knowledge of the end that was coming.

He couldn't, _wouldn’t_ accept such a thing. So he had tried to bargain. He had promised Death a finger. When the bird continued to fade away, a hand. A hand and an ear. He had even added his foot to the offer… if only Death let the bird live its full life, he could take Levi’s limbs.

It was all in vain.

Death did not bargain. Death did not listen. Death only took and gave nothing back. The bird had become a lumpy cold thing from one moment to the other, with glassy, unseeing eyes.

“You cannot do anything against it,” his mother had tried to console him, when she had removed the dead animal from his room. “Every living thing has to die.”

And now, in this hideout from a life long ago, Death sat down at the table to wait for his next quarry.

“You won’t get her too,” Levi shouted, “go the fuck away!”

His limbs shaking from the cold fear that gripped his heart, he balled his hands into tight fists. But there was nothing he could hit, nothing he could kill, nothing he could do to make this better.

Yet, Levi searched the shelves like a maniac, even though he already knew there was nothing in the carefully boxed up provision that would help Hanji. In his panic, he had fled to a place he instinctively associated with shelter. Only… in the months of his absence, the underground city had become something he no longer quite knew, a place that no longer felt like he belonged. He should have gone to a doctor when there was still time. He had suspected poison right away, so why had he not done that? Or better, he should have let the military police whisk her away and bring her to a proper hospital. He should have claimed he had kidnapped her so that only he would have to go to prison.

Instead, he had panicked.

And now Hanji’s breath rattled exactly like his mother had on that day before Death had taken her from him. All he could do was arrange the make-shift pillow for Hanji like he had done for his mom, hoping she wasn’t too uncomfortable. She was too hot when he touched her face. He put wet, cold rags on her forehead, wiped the sweat off her brow. He removed the necklace she was still wearing because the heavy stones had left red marks on the skin of her neck. He loosened and removed the corset she wore, finding an ugly rash on her body that seemed to spread as he watched. When he touched her again, he found her skin clammy and not at all hot so he rushed to find another blanket which the rodents had not gnawed to tatters.

He felt pain - pain deep in his chest that radiated outwards and amplified the vicious pounding in his head, tightening his throat.

Levi believed firmly that regrets were entirely useless. He had to.

When Kenny had tried to turn him into a mirror image of himself, a monster with no scruples who found pleasure in the pain of others, he had been brutally punished at even the smallest sign of remorse or compassion. But even more importantly, standing like a rock amidst carnage, Erwin had told him not too long ago that memories of regret only dulled future decisions. That a man who let others make his choices for him was already lost. Every decision - every decision held meaning by affecting your next decision. And those decisions had to be taken freely, without the weight of regret.

Levi wasn’t entirely sure what it meant. But the lessons had born fruit: as a result, he didn’t allow himself to feel regret. He knew regrets were either about things one had failed to do in the past or about things that had not yet occurred in the future. The former were unchangeable, the latter achievable. Regrets were for those who either wanted to give the past too much power over their lives or for those who were too craven to take responsibility for their own future. He had learned from Erwin that this entire mess, _every single thing_ that happened to the people in this city was because of the Titans. If he wanted to change something, it had to be that. Kill all Titans. Or die trying.

So he didn’t let himself regret bringing Zoë with him. But he let himself hate: Hate everyone who had harmed her, had harmed other people he cared for, hate every single lowlife in this forsaken place who did not understand that their petty struggles for influence would come to naught, that their actions against each other was the biggest sin humans could commit.

While his rage built, the space they were in became increasingly small, suffocating. Levi opened the topmost buttons of his shirt with shaking hands, but breathing did not become easier. His heart was racing and he knew he had to calm himself, to breathe more slowly, to _think_ …

Think... _Don’t. Don’t crumble. Don’t let it be for nothing. Don’t let it wear you down. Breathe. Breathe. Think._

Forcing himself to calm down, he became aware of the inhabitants of this part of town resuming their normal nocturnal activities outside. There were whispers, footsteps, the clanking of a pot on the stairs. He had hardly been careful when coming here. He had been seen and people talked. His return was probably even a newsworthy occurrence. They did not have much time.

So calm he needed to be. And thinking was possible again.

Hanji had been poisoned, but most likely not by Renzo. It had been whoever had set the trap, killing nobles in the back chambers of an illegal gambling den, tipping off the military police. This was an attack against Renzo, not Hanji. Hanji was just collateral. Or…

Levi took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. The back chambers.

Where rich nobs got whatever they wanted for their money, however perverted their wish. But there had not been a single lightskirt anywhere at the event… which was very strange. Gambling was lucrative, but pimping was even more so. Whoever vied for influence like Renzo would not pass the opportunity to sell human flesh, unless… unless someone else controlled that part of the underground market.

Of course. _The underground is awash in blood these days,_ Erwin had said, his room reeking of someone from Levi’s past. That someone stood up against Renzo, the Church family and their attempts to take it all. _She_ had shown her hand: Xandra. Also called Mother by those who had no other choice.

Levi jumped up and boiled some water. Twice. Then a third time, just to make sure it was safe. There was some dried and ground vegetable stock in one of the well-sealed jars, which he used to make a soup. There was salt too, a very rare treat back when he had put the provisions in this hideout, which was why he had hidden it extra well in case someone dared steal from him. The soup was too hot, but Levi didn’t want to water it down too much, so he just blew on it until it seemed cool enough.

“Here,” he said and put a spoonful to Zoë’s lips, “you’ll need your strength. You’re not going to die. Someone will come.”

Not collateral. Leverage. A second time, Zoë was used as leverage. Her fucking bad luck to be associated with someone like him.

Zoë swallowed obediently. The broth stayed in her stomach and it felt like a victory. Levi sat down next to her and took her hand in his. Just how carelessly had he made his way here? Now he hoped he had been seen by many, and especially by the right ones.

“Hanji, do you hear me?” he said, his voice sounding rough to his own ears. “Please hang in there. Someone will come here to bargain with me, it can’t be long. Remember how I promised to capture a Titan for you? Alive? That’s batshit crazy, but I cannot wait to try. I cannot wait to get out of here, with you… Erwin might kill us but who cares. Who cares as long as you are fine. You hear me, Hanji? Hang on. Please.”

He prattled on, he had probably never talked as much in his life. But maybe Death could be cheated after all?

With an antidote. And with a silent promise to pay a debt with lives.

###

A sound woke Levi up. His hand went to his knife in one smooth motion as he crouched low, ready to pounce.

“Let me come in without you trying to kill me,” a confident female voice said right outside the door. “If you’re awake that is.”

He instantly recognized the sweet and innocent timbre: It was _Maria_ , cursed little bitch. Thinking how nice he had been to her gave him acid reflux. His protective impulses were such a nuisance.

Levi jumped up and ripped the door open. Maria jerked back in alarm, a knife held out in front of her with an unsteady hand. She was alone. Foolish chit.

“I will not have to _try_ and kill you,” Levi growled, “if I want to kill, people always die.”

“I brought something to save her,” Maria’s eyes showed her fear, but her tone of voice was defiant. “If you think you can take it from me and this will be the end of it, you’re wrong. She needs more than one antidote and you won’t get it when I’m dead.”

“Trying to be clever, are you,” Levi glared at her, forcing his rage down a notch.

“No, just careful,” Maria answered, craning her neck to look inside the room. “It took me a long time to find you, is she still breathing?”

That was the wrong thing to say. His rage surging high again, Levi’s knife was at Maria’s throat in a flash, her own knife clattering to the floor when he twisted her hand. She yelped in pain and he twisted more, right to the point where the bone was about to snap.

“I will kill all of you,” he hissed into her ear, “mark my words. You do _not_ mess with my people.”

“I’m… I’m sorry for the delay,” Maria gulped. “I didn’t think you would get this far in your condition.”

“You were there?”

“Yes. Yes!” Maria tried to twist her body away from his grip. A mistake.

“Move again and I break your hand for good,” Levi threatened her. He wanted to do much, much more, but that had to wait.

“We don’t have a lot of time,” Maria whimpered, “let me give her the first dose.”

He shoved her forward hard so that she almost slammed head first into the door frame. “Get on with it then.”

Maria went inside, sweeping her eyes over the small space. She shook her hand with an expression of pain, then put it into her pocket. Levi stepped forward, his knife between her shoulder blades. “If you try any rotten tricks, I will lose it.”

“You’re a fucking menace,” Maria hissed, her face contorted with hatred. “For the life of me I’ve never understood why everyone thinks of you as some kind of savior.”

Levi laughed, but without any humor. Right. They had that in common. Maria pulled out a vial with a brown liquid in it and sank to her knees next to Hanji.

“Did you molest her while she was unconscious, you creep?” she murmured, “why is she almost naked?”

Levi was pondering how to cut off one of Maria’s ears instead of an answer when the blonde girl wedged an arm underneath Hanji’s neck and lifted up her head, which drove the murderous thoughts out of his head temporarily.

“Drink this, woman,” she said, nudging Hanji’s lips open. She emptied the vial into her mouth, tilted Hanji’s head back and watched her throat work. “There. Done.”

“Tell me what you want,” Levi commanded, masking the rush of relief he felt.

“You and her are to follow me.”

“She’s too weak. She cannot walk.”

“Then you can carry her,” Maria snapped. “You seem to like doing that.”

Carefully, Levi wrapped Hanji in the old blankets. He cradled her body to his chest, with hope blossoming in his heart. Hanji was breathing normally again. Her fingernails were no longer black. Death had left the building. For now.

###

What a wonderful dream she was having! Zoë purred in blissful contentment. It was warm and she was flying, feeling light and cozy at the same time. A pleasant scent wafted around her and she breathed it in greedily until her lungs were filled with it. Her fingers twitched eagerly as she moved them, on a mission to grab onto this thing that smelled so alluring. She frowned when she found she had to sort through quite a bit of annoying fabric … but then… ah! So warm, so smooth. She moved her palms up and down the hard planes that were so pleasant to the touch.

“Stop that,” a low voice warned her.

Hm, what? No. She redoubled her efforts.

“Hanji, I’ll drop you if you don’t stop this,” the voice said, this time with more threat in it.

What now? Was she not allowed to touch this wonderful thing? What kind of stupid dream was this? It was so lovely!

“I warned you,” the voice growled and _slam_! No more flying.

Zoë opened her eyes wide in shock and found herself… huh? Not dreaming, but in Levi’s arms. He was holding her upright, her feet were on the dirty street. No shoes, only stockings that had perhaps been white once. And she was wearing some blankets. Blankets that were slipping precariously.

“What the fuck,” she moaned, making a grab for them, trying to understand what kind of situation this was.

“Stop pawing me,” Levi grumbled. “It’s goddamn distracting, I’ll trip and fall.”

Pawing him? Oh! There was a missing button on his shirt, which gaped open at his throat, revealing part of his chest. Which apparently she had been pawing. Zoë licked her lips at the memory and was impressed by her ability to mix dream and reality in such a beneficial way.

“Focus,” Levi shook her.

“Where… what…?”

She remembered what had happened at the gambling event with a bit of delay and for a moment, the memory made her extremely nauseous again. Then she recognized Maria further down the street and realized that she didn’t have all the information.

“I don’t get it,” Zoë said and tried to stand on her own, which wasn’t a good idea. Her legs felt like they did not belong to her.

“Easy now,” Levi tightened his hold, “I’ll carry you again, but only if you stop touching me.”

“I have to touch you when you carry me, I think?” Zoë sniffed. Pffft, what a prudish prick.

“But not _that_ way.”

“What way might you be referring to?” she said stubbornly.

“Like… like… like we’re in the bedroom together,” he coughed embarrassed.

“Did you undress me last night?” she asked him.

“Wh… well…,” he stammered, “I had to because…”

“Am I complaining about it?”

“No?”

“See? So stop _your_ complaining. I didn’t know I was pawing your chest but now that I know how it feels…”, she narrowed her eyes at him and his red face. “Maybe I want to do it again.”

“Maybe I’ll let you,” his voice dropped lower and she felt a pleasant shiver tickle her spine, “but not until we’re out of danger.”

Danger? Where? Zoë let her eyes roam over everything around them to get a better bearing on where they were. Was it morning? What had happened since last night?

“Was I drugged?” she asked Levi because she sure felt like that.

“Worse. Poisoned,” he gritted his teeth. “I’m going to kill them for this.”

How sweet. But she might want to take care of this herself.

“Maria is taking us to who’s behind it. She’s Renzo's arch enemy. Let’s see what she wants from me. Once we find out what kind of antidote you need, we’re…”

“They have leverage over you because of an antidote I need?”

Levi nodded grimly.

“You idiot!” she chided him. “You shouldn’t let them have power over you.”

“But Hanji…,” he frowned.

“What? You should have refused them.”

“You’d have died.”

“I’ll die sooner rather than later anyway,” she shrugged, “you know we won’t grow old, right? The life expectancy of Survey Corps members is around 34.”

“Yes,” he admitted, “but…”

Their eyes locked. His were full of emotion. Zoë swallowed, feeling a bit flustered. She had never encountered anyone who had looked at her like this. _Why does he care?_ she asked herself, feeling a strange warmth in her chest. _He doesn’t even like me_.

“Carry me then,” she huffed, finding it too hard to keep looking into his eyes. “I don’t seem to be able to walk.”

He grabbed her legs and lifted her up wordlessly - and just as effortlessly as the first time. She hadn’t just dreamed that he smelled nice. He _actually_ smelled nice. Very nice. Her fingers itched with the memory of how his skin felt and with the urge to feel it again.

“Can I put my arms around your neck at least?” she asked sullenly, finding her position very awkward.

“Yes,” he grumbled, stiffly looking ahead.

She put her hands around his neck. And she put her head against his chest and didn’t care at all about him dropping her and all that, because nuzzling closer to him was exactly what she wanted and needed to do right at this moment. She'd feel embarrassed about being this dependable tomorrow. 

“Thank you,” she murmured sleepily.

“Don't do it again,” he replied.

What did he mean? Paw him? Nuzzle his chest? Or… get poisoned?

“You cannot die, Hanji,” he continued. “A world without you would be a desolate place.”

That was probably the nicest thing he had ever said to her? Actually… the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. Zoë smiled against his chest, hanging on tight, but already, she was slipping back into sleep. It was nice in his arms like this. She felt strangely safe.

“You cannot die either, Levi,” she murmured. “There’s so much more I need to find out about you.”


	14. Just an Itch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It snowed for the second time today. It's cold. So I thought 'why not turn up the heat'? Enjoy.

The next time Zoë woke up, she was no longer in Levi’s arms but on some soft, wide bed. She felt like shit. There was a taste in her mouth like a mixture of ash and dung. Her stomach burnt with acid, her limbs were heavy and shaking from weakness and her thoughts were jumbled and sluggish.

And she was goddamn thirsty, like she could empty an entire pond.

When she turned her head, she noticed a glass of water next to her on a small bedside table but even though the urge was great she would rather die of thirst than touch that. Being poisoned once was enough for the remainder of their sojourn here, if not for life.

The only thing of importance in this room seemed to be the bed. There was a large mirror above her on the ceiling, showing her the reflection of a pale-faced woman with messy hair in a bed with dark red linens. It looked like she was lying in a pool of her own blood.

Where was she?

There were voices nearby. Women, chattering away excitedly in the adjacent room, with lots of pearly giggles in between. Women among themselves, around four to five of them? It had been a very long time since Zoë had experienced being with women only. In the military, gender played no role as all squads were mixed. But she missed having female friends, she suddenly realized.

“... and then he scowled like so…”

Giggles.

“... and looked at me like I’m vermin and still my fanny went to mush.”

More giggles and a few exclamations. Zoë grinned. What else should they be discussing but men?

“You're just a sucker for pain!”

“Ah, no! I hear he's very gentle.”

“From whom!” The excitement in the room next door seemed to surge. Zoë heard that porcelain cups were set into saucers, _clang-clang-clang_ , as if everyone present wanted their full attention on the speaker and even holding a teacup was too much of a diversion.

“Clara said so.”

“How would she know?” someone shouted. “I call bullshit!”

“Well, I guess she slept with him?”

“She's a liar! I know for a fact he has a very strict rule to stay away from us!”

“He thinks he’s better, that’s why. He looks down at everyone!” Ah, the man in question had a critic too. Good.

“No. It's because of his mother! She was one of us but died when he was a little boy. He blames the customers. He swore never to be like them.”

There was cooing and awwing now. Zoë added some coos and awws in her head. It sounded like they were discussing a very nice man. He was also smart if he made himself scarce, it made his desirability increase tenfold.

Outside, she heard that a door was opened and the cooing, awwing, giggling and chattering stopped so abruptly, Zoë thought the women had all left the room together. But no. A disapproving voice she happened to know very well snapped: “What are all of you doing here?”

“Just talking,” one of the women answered innocently.

“You have nothing better to do?”

“Depends… are you offering to entertain us? We’re all _very_ keen.”

An explosion of laughter followed Levi as he entered the room she was in with one of his trademark scowls. He slammed the door shut so hard that Zoë yelped.

“You’re awake?” he asked sourly.

“Obviously,” she smiled and pushed herself into an upright position with a bit of effort. It was good to see him and his eternally displeased face.

“Here,” he held a bottle towards her. “Something to drink. It's safe, I made sure of it.”

Somehow, he avoided looking at her scarcely covered bosom. Maybe he had already looked enough when he had undressed her last night? She had not only lost her dress but also her corset somewhere between the gambling den and this place. And…

Oh shit! Her hand flew to her neck. The necklace!

“It's with me,” he said, patting one of his pockets. “I took it off you because it looked uncomfortable.”

Relieved and thankful, she took the bottle from him and downed the contents in one go. It was cold herbal tea. Camomile? How very thoughtful. Even more thoughtful: He had brought a second bottle that he handed to her as well, putting the empty one next to the glass of water.

“Where are we?” she asked, after she had downed the second bottle almost as quickly as the first.

He shrugged. “A brothel.”

“Oh.”

That explained a few things. The mirror, the color of the linens, the lack of furnishing. Then the women outside were... ? Whores. Zoë could hear the buzz of their low voices through the door. Clearly not bothered by any of it, Levi pulled up a chair and sat down next to the bed. She noticed that he had changed his clothes. His hair seemed a little damp, as if he had just taken a bath. Which he probably had. She breathed in deeply to get a good dose of Levi soap-smell.

“You weren't affected by the poison?” she asked. He looked like he hadn’t slept a wink for days, but what was new?

A shake of his head. “I only got a headache from the smoke. I guess the poison was in the drinks.”

“What about Annika then? Was she poisoned too?”

“Annika?!” Levi glared at her like that question was an offense.

“Yes, Annika. Do you think she was arrested?”

“Why would you think I care about that?”

Pffft. Why even pretend he wasn't? “Well, she clearly is your possessive ex-girlfriend that you care about. It’s normal to be attached to former lovers, no need to be embarrassed about it.”

“Why, are you attached to that Treibel guy?”

“What!?” now Zoë glared too. “No! I don’t even know him that well.”

“Good.”

Huh? Levi looked smug. Did he think he had just won an argument?

“But you and Annika clearly had a very close relationship.”

“Clearly?”

“She was all over you. _Pawing_ you at every opportunity for all to see.”

“Then we two must have a very close relationship too judging from your recent behavior,” he scoffed and if she didn’t know better, she’d have thought there was a trace of a smile on those sultry lips.

 _That_ made her remember a half-promise, probably said on a whim and immediately forgotten. “Are we out of danger yet?” she asked with fake indifference.

Oh. He seemed to actually remember what he had said, the way his eyes lit up at her tease.

“No. We’re right in the middle of it,” he answered, his heated gaze affecting her body temperature.

“How bad is the situation?” she managed to sound all business-like even though her heart was beating way too fast. Little shithead. He was doing it again.

“You’ll obviously live.”

“No, I meant for you.”

He shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“What's your plan?” she asked to take her mind off other things.

“Kill everyone, of course,” he said smoothly. “Once I know what kind of poison they gave you.”

“How many doses of the antidote do I need?”

“Three a day.”

“For how long?”

“They didn’t say.”

“That's quite clever. We’ll think twice about running away.”

He cursed at her statement, making her smile.

“I fail to see what’s amusing,” he huffed.

Ah, but how to explain it? It was him. The whole package. She could have hugged him, just for existing and being here with her. Maybe she should just to see how he’d react, the Mr. “Don’t touch me”. And she would ruffle his hair too, just to make him angry. Because she liked him all worked up.

But before she could make any of these things happen, her stomach growled so loudly she froze in mortification.

“I see,” he said with a bemused look and got up. “Wait here.”

“I’m not going anywhere, be assured,” she retorted, but he had already left the room, caused considerable agitation when he passed the flock hovering out there, and slammed the next door with such force on his way out that Zoë yelped again.

One of the women mentioned that Levi had an exceptionally tight, fine ass. Zoë couldn't disagree, though she felt she needed to confirm it first hand when he returned.

“The things I’d like to do to him…,” another one said.

Zoë perked up. Murder? She needed to warn him! But no... her ears started burning. Edged on by the others, the woman began detailing what she would do to Levi if he were at her mercy, i.e. be tied up in front of her. Removing his clothes with his own knife was the most harmless of the suggestions. Suddenly Zoë realized they had been talking about _him_ all along. The gentle man who did not sleep with prostitutes because of his mother. Oh boy. What a dummy she was.

Her cheeks were aflame when another sudden silence out there marked Levi’s return.

“Still here chattering the day away?” he asked.

“There are no customers,” the woman with the sweet voice said, “what can we do?”

“Tell the owner of this bordello to stop her stupid war, that’ll help,” Levi grumbled and came into Zoë’s room, swiveling around to kick the door shut with his foot. He was carrying a steaming bowl of something. When he turned around and looked at her, he frowned.

“What happened to you?”

“Well,” she coughed self-consciously. He did have a fine ass, but that was not the problem. The problem was that the shameless fantasies of the women out there had not only set her cheeks on fire.

“Was it them?” his frown deepened. “Were they rude to you? I’ll make sure to chase them away and…”

“N… no!” she shook her head vehemently, stalling him before he could storm back out. “They were not rude to me. They haven’t even acknowledged my presence.”

“Hm,” he said and came back to the bed. “Here, you must eat something.”

A soup. It smelled quite lovely. She took the bowl from his hands, trying not to think about where the women had wished those hands to go once they untied him, but those places tingled eagerly on her own body.

“What is this?” she asked to mask her continuing embarrassment.

“Clearly, it’s soup.”

“What are these round white things?”

“Flour balls. If you spot something that looks like meat, don’t eat it. Meat down here is either, dog, cat, or rat.”

“Thanks,” she poked the spoon into the thick liquid, almost expecting something to be alive in there.

“Do I need to spoon-feed you?”

She shook her head, extremely flustered. He was too close, watching her intently. Why. She continued to burn.

“Are you feeling unwell?” he asked her. “You’re very red in the face.”

“No, I’m fine, don’t worry,” she blurted out and began to dip the spoon into the soup. It tasted alright but her stomach was not exactly stable. It was aflutter. All thanks to him.

“You have to eat all of it,” he ordered when she slowed down.

“Yes, I’m trying,” she mumbled, throwing him a look over the rim of the bowl.

With no warning, Levi lifted his hand and brushed a stray lock of hair that had almost gotten into her mouth from her cheek. He tucked it securely behind her right ear, looking satisfied. She forgot to breathe for a moment and then coughed violently when soup went down the wrong way.

“I knew I should have spoon-fed you,” he chided her, taking the bowl from her fingers. “Lie on your back again and get some more sleep.”

He seemed a little surprised when she complied with no protest. Bending over her, he tucked the blanket down around her. So he _was_ gentle. And fussy. And handsome... And there were a bunch of women just outside the door who wanted to tie him up and do very naughty things to him. She blushed very deeply again at the images that popped up in her head. Of course he noticed.

“Out with it,” he demanded, lowering his face to peer into her eyes. “What did they do to you while I was gone?”

“Just… talk,” she looked at his lips, feeling a desire so intense that a weird little sound escaped her throat.

“Talk?” he narrowed his eyes. “About what?”

“You,” she blurted out, “they talked about you.”

“I see,” he said and dropped down on his chair again. “What about it got you so worked up? You already know most people can’t stand me.”

A strangled laugh was her reaction. Completely oblivious. He had no idea how many women lusted after him, had he? It just made him even hotter.

“You’re wrong,” she moaned, “so wrong.”

“Tell me.”

She couldn’t possibly say these things out loud.

“Fine,” he said with a shrug, “I’ll go out and ask them.”

“No!” Zoë grabbed his hand to stop him. “Don’t go.”

“I am getting too curious,” he bent forward. “What could it possibly be?”

“They said you have this rule about prostitutes,” she blurted out, “but then they went on and on about... things they would want to do to you if you couldn’t… move and fight them off.”

“I see,” Levi said, a dangerous gleam entering his eyes. “Tell me all about it or I’ll go ask them.”

Scumbag. That was blackmail!

“But I already know you won’t repeat any of it,” he chuckled, “because you’re sheltered and prudish. While they will be more than happy to shamelessly repeat everything to my face while getting a kick out of it.”

He probably didn’t know that she could not leave a challenge or dare alone.

“Oh, I can tell you,” she whispered, “but I’m not sure you’ll like it.”

“Something tells me I will,” he whispered back, bending even closer. “Don’t leave out any details.”

The part about cutting his clothes away with a knife was no problem to repeat, so she lingered there a little, even going into details she made up herself. Touching his chest - easy, she had done that, though she left out what they wanted to do with his nipples, not sure anyone would like those painful, rough things.

“Then they want to touch and suck and lick your…,” she faltered. Prudish? She wasn’t prudish. Or was she?

“Dick?” he suggested.

“Yes,” she breathed, “your dick. Your dick and your balls and your…”

“I’m guessing asshole?” he helped when she faltered again.

“You’re enjoying this, are you?” she asked breathlessly.

“You can’t imagine,” he said and smiled wolfishly. Levi _fucking smiled_ and the sight of that hit her right in the stomach, like she needed any additional disturbances there. He stared at her mouth, continuing to smile. Like he wanted to devour her.

“You want to hear more?” she whispered. By the gods, it was so hot to say these things to his face.

“Oh yes,” he agreed hoarsely.

“After sucking you until you’re rock hard, they want to ride you until you pass out.”

“Pass out? Huh. There have to be more details.”

“They want you to fill... all their holes.”

“Aha. Any favorite positions?”

Should she admit she knew exactly two positions herself and had not understood half of what they talked about? Mike was someone with a very proper upbringing. There had never been any mention of holes other than the usual one. Surely, his religious mother was to blame.

“I...,” she squirmed under Levi’s burning gaze. “Atop you, facing forward, then turning around so that you can finger… Oh god, I can’t _say_ these things...”

“You’re so goddamn hot,” he growled, “we better stop.”

She _was_ hot. So hot she felt like she was going to burst into flames any second. And she craved… she craved his hands on her, there, between her legs, where she was burning the worst, throbbing with a longing that could only be driven away by one thing. Stop? She didn’t want this to stop. She wanted much, much more.

“They said you are gentle,” she gulped. “Is that true?”

“Would you like it if I were?” he asked, his eyes roaming over her well hidden body now, making the tingling and throbbing so much worse.

“I… I think I’d prefer it a little… rough,” she admitted, breathing heavily. “Fuck, Levi, I…”

“Say my name again,” he urged her throatily. “Tell me what _you_ want.”

“Levi, please touch me,” she begged, arching her back. He groaned in response.

“You’re not wearing a lot under this blanket, are you.”

She shook her head.

“Do you want to show me?”

She nodded and began pushing down the blanket. Her nipples were hard but hardened even further when the cool air and his gaze met them. She pushed the blankets further down, kicked them away - and thought she was going to die when he took a good look at the dripping place between her legs that was barely covered by her pantalettes. She grew even wetter if that was even possible.

“This isn’t a good idea,” he murmured, shaking his head like a lost man who wanted to wake up from a dream.

“Who gives a fuck,” she moaned, “you scumbag, can’t you see how much I want this?”

“Oh yes,” he growled, “I can see it and I can _smell_ it and it’s driving me insane, but it’s still not a good idea. It’s going to affect everything we do in the future. It will cloud our judgment. It will…”

“Shut up!” she interrupted him. “It’s just like an itch. Scratch it and it will go away. Who is talking about the future? I almost died yesterday. Who knows how much of a future we even have.”

He nodded so eagerly despite his dubious face, she almost laughed.

“But not here,” he whispered.

“What?!” she was going to die from sexual tension any second.

“I can’t let my guard down here,” he whispered almost tenderly. “But I want to when I'm with you.”

Whatever that meant, it sounded breathtakingly romantic, yet it only infuriated her more.

“I’m going to kill you,” she hissed, arching her back again as if that was going to help. “Just lock the fucking door!”

“There are no keys in brothels,” he explained darkly, “it’s not safe for the women.”

The women. Who were right outside the door, lusty and dangerous. That thought cooled her zeal a little, but seeing the hunger in his eyes as he looked at her brought it right back up. Levi wanted her. Her, ugly, dirty Zoë Hange. And she wanted him, the little rude scumbag with the impressive ass.

“I have the worst luck with women,” he murmured as he extended his hand.

The moment he touched one of her breasts, she moaned so loudly she expected someone to burst through the door to come to her help. Levi took one nipple between his thumb and index finger and rolled it to an even tighter peak, then switched his attention to the other nipple, all the while murmuring under his breath that she was killing him.

“Come here,” she pleaded, patting the bed next to her.

“No,” he said. “I will lose control.”

“Excellent,” she moaned. “Do it.”

“No,” he repeated, his voice tightly controlled, “I’m going to stay right here. But I tell you what we will do… You touch yourself while I watch and we will see how long I can resist touching myself in turn.”

Turned out the answer was not long at all. Levi opened his trousers with a groan mere seconds after Zoë had started to furiously stimulate her clit for the release she craved and began to pump the length of himself just as savagely. She turned her head a little so she could see his hand move up and down his sizable erection but the ache between her legs grew so intense, her eyelids fluttered shut. She came hard and fast with a shout, her entire body shuddering with the force of her orgasm. She heard him grunt and curse when he came shortly after, only catching the merest glimpse of his tense face before her eyelids fluttered shut again.

“Dammit, woman,” Levi growled, took her limp hand from her sex, put it to his mouth and licked and sucked her juices off her fingers, swirling his tongue around each digit. She was ready and pulsing again in no time, longing for him to touch her, to feel him close, inside of her.

Served her right for calling it just an itch that would go away. That perfunctory scratching just now? It had only made the itch much, much bigger.

“Levi…,” she whispered and opened her eyes to look at him.

“You know what happens when you say my name like this?” he breathed, “it makes me hard.”

“Good,” she said even though she was still shaking.

But there was no more time. The knock at the door was brisk and very intrusive. “Are you done now?” someone asked snippily. Who else would it be but Maria?

“Mother wants to see her,” Maria said, her mouth close to the door crack, “her alone. I suggested she might need more rest, but obviously not.”

Mother? Zoë thought Levi’s eyes. And almost shrank back from the fury in there.

“There’s clothes out here, get dressed quickly,” came the order.

“Kill her if you get the chance,” Levi’s breath was hot at her ear as he helped her up into a sitting position, “they won’t let me see her. We will find another way to get the antidote, I swear to you.”

“Okay,” Zoë said. “I will try.”

Levi grabbed her head between his hands and brushed his lips across hers, briefly.

More. She wanted more. She craved his closeness with a hollow ache in her heart. What was happening to her?

He took a deep breath and pressed his lips to hers again with much more fervor and what seemed like desperation and it was the sweetest thing and at the same time so sad because deep down, she agreed with him.

While the part of her that sang with renewed lust thought this was a glorious idea, the more rational part of her knew with cold certainty that whatever happened after this could only end in a calamity. Such were their lives.

But then again - if their lives were inevitably short, why waste a single moment of it?

“Don’t go anywhere,” she told him.

“I won’t,” he replied. “Not today.”

It killed her a little that she saw in his eyes exactly what she felt. It was a desperation that knew no salvation, a knowledge of the end that was coming. Maybe not today. But soon. Too soon.


	15. Someone Special

Holy shit, wobbly legs alert! Zoë staggered through corridors like the worst kind of drunk, using the walls to support her along the way. Obviously, it was unwise to add sexual excitement to the aftereffects of getting poisoned, but _holy shit_ , she was still reeling from the heady sensation. But how could bodily satisfaction feel so unsatisfying? Forced to walk out of that room when there was more, so much more she wanted to do with Levi now their interests were aligned, she ruefully felt like she had to say goodbye to something good before it had properly started.

… sexy, tightass, hard-to-get Captain Levi, obviously not little everywhere. Zoë smacked her lips at the memory -- and then had to hastily save her glasses when they left the bridge of her nose in a precarious downward slide. Her poor glasses that were bent out of shape and so dirty, even she took notice. Zoë stopped to clean them with one of her puffy sleeves. Of fucking course, adding injury to insult, these people had given her another _dress_ to wear. A flouncy dress with quite some decolletage. No surprise there, given the type of establishment they were in and the profession of the woman who had lent it to her.

Maria, who was leading the way, glanced back over her shoulders to see what was keeping her. Her deepening scowls were something to behold. But why exactly was she so pissed off? Zoë would not let herself be rushed just because Maria was fretting about delivering her posthaste. Whoever “Mother” was, Levi had a major bone to pick with her and Zoë naturally, was on his side by default.

They stood in a dark corridor with black velvet tapestry, flickering oil lamps creating a gloomy atmosphere. Despite her unsteady gait, Zoë had taken note of their progress through the house. Maria was trying to fool her by walking in circles on different floors. A trick for beginners. Zoë’s sense of direction was very good, at least if she paid attention to where she was going. Several doors they passed were locked, Maria carried the keys on a chain around her neck - not a big issue, Zoë expected Levi knew how to pick locks. Expertly, most likely.

“Hurry up!” Maria hissed impatiently.

“No, I need to clean my glasses,” Zoë replied, rubbing a particularly greasy, obstinate stain extra hard.

“No you don’t,” Maria contradicted her and hurried back to grab Zoë’s hand.

Mistake.

“Don’t touch me,” Zoë looked down at the girl now murderously glaring up at her from the floor, where Zoë's defensive move had swiftly put her. “If it’s so damn urgent, stop walking in circles and just bring me there already.”

Maria bit her lip and pushed herself upright. Very strange, in this light, she strongly reminded Zoë of someone. Who? She hardly ever bothered to remember names of people she met. But in this case, it was not just someone. But someone who had left an impression… ah.

“Do you know Isabel Magnolia by any chance?” Zoë asked the girl.

“None of your business,” Maria’s face turned red with anger.

Definitely a strong likeness! They had to be related. A sister maybe? Or cousins?

“She was so talented with animals,” Zoë said, feeling a little sad at the memory of Levi’s excited red-head friend who had died way too early.

“She also trusted that scumbag and look what happened to her,” Maria pressed out. “Are you just as stupid?”

That scumbag… did she mean tightass Levi? Someone was holding a grudge it seemed. A misplaced grudge.

“She died,” Zoë shrugged, “honorably. Which makes not much of a difference when you consider the outcome, but I know she died feeling useful. That’s better than most deaths.”

“You don’t know that!” Maria now looked like she wanted to attack her, all coiled up, her teeth showing. Fierce little creature.

“I happen to know all too well,” Zoë sighed and put her glasses back on her nose. A much better view. Levi would be proud of her. Or not. “Once you decide humanity’s future is worth it, dying for the cause is a good end.”

Not dying, in general, was preferable. But to anyone who joined the Survey Corps, dying was the default.

“You _are_ just as stupid,” Maria turned and continued walking down the corridor briskly, her hands balled into tight fists. “I don’t understand what people see in him. But they all end up dead.”

He really had a special talent for making people hate him, didn’t he.

“In case you mean Levi, he had nothing to do with Isabel’s death,” Zoë mentioned casually.

“Oh yeah?! How do you know, were you there?!” Maria swiveled back around to face her.

“I was,” Zoë agreed. “Though not in the same squad. It was a bad day. It rained and we lost all visibility. Too many died.”

Maria just stared at her.

“Isabel might have worshiped Levi,” Zoë told her, “but it was her decision to join the Survey Corps and ride out to fight Titans. We all do it because we want to. Nobody forces us. We die because we choose to put our lives on the line.”

Maria still stared, like she didn’t understand a single word that was coming out of Zoë’s mouth. She remembered what Levi had said about people living in the Underground, only a few getting the chance to come out occasionally to work certain jobs above-grounds before they were sent back down.

“Have you ever been outside Wall Sina?”

The girl shook her head a fraction.

“You know there are two much bigger walls further out?”

Maria shrugged like it didn’t concern her.

“And a vast land outside wall Maria? It’s full of Titans.”

“I’ve heard those stories,” Maria pulled a disgusted face. “Monsters that eat humans? I don’t believe in such fairy tales.”

Zoë laughed. “Blessed be the ignorant,” she quoted from a prayer and shook her head in mild amusement.

“He will kill you too,” Maria snuffed. “Don’t fall for his tricks.”

“What tricks might that be?” Zoë grinned at the girl. Who had spent more than one night in Levi’s bed, mind you, trying to ‘entice’ him. Maybe she was too young to understand that there were people who just inspired loyalty. Someone like Levi was alluring and infuriating because he didn’t give a damn about what people thought of him. His trick was that he used absolutely no tricks.

“I guess it’s too late!” Maria exclaimed and stomped away again. “You’re already in his trap.”

“He kept Isabel’s necklace,” Zoë informed Maria. “He carries it with him in a small pouch.” Not that this was something that a private person like Levi would talk about. But she had seen him touch the little pouch in his pocket. And she had seen him take the necklace out once, to look at it. The sadness on his face…

Maria didn’t stop this time but her overall posture became less rigid.

“Ask him,” Zoë suggested. “He might give it to you. As a memory. I know he made graves for his friends, but they’re far away from here, you won’t be able to go there easily.”

Maria remained silent but stopped leading her in circles. Soon, she knocked at a heavy wooden door. A huge, bald man opened. His tattooed arms were as thick as Zoë’s thighs and his head was the size of a medium-sized beer barrel. Charming fellow. Zoë fluttered her eyelids at him and he showed her a row of impressive, yellow teeth in response.

“Mother is waiting,” he growled, his voice so deep it reverberated in Zoë’s intestines.

A woman who had to be Mother was lounging on a red divan, skillfully peeling an apple with a tiny silver knife. When the tower of a guard stepped aside to let them in, she put apple and knife on the small table before her and sat up straight, pulling the dark blue shawl tighter around her shoulders. She had raven-black hair, slightly slanted dark eyes in a heart shaped face and lips so red it looked like she had just sucked blood from somebody’s throat.

“I am delighted,” she smiled, her voice deep and pleasant.

Hard to say how old she was. There were fine lines in her face, speaking of maturity, but with the open hair that cascaded down her back like water, she looked youthful and fresh. The blue dress she wore was cut low but not too low and seemed to hug her shapely body almost tenderly.

But the most interesting part of her was her perfume. Zoë had smelled it before. In a room above a tavern on Erwin’s birthday.

“Interesting,” she murmured, “how do you know Commander Erwin?”

Mother’s pearly laughter bubbled through the room. “So it’s true! You are a woman with brains, Zoë Hange. I like that. I like that very much. Why don’t you take a seat and we talk?”

Intrigued, Zoë did as suggested.

###

“I’m a bloody, fucking idiot,” Levi seethed.

He picked up gravel from the street and began hurling it through a hole in a window on the opposite side of the alley.

“I should have resisted,” he continued bitterly. “Even if she’s…”

_Completely,_ inexplicably _irresistible,_ he finished in his head and shuddered. Dirty Hanji! Who had a nose like a bird's beak, hair that could serve as a bird’s nest and lips… lips…

His next stone was off by half a mile, ricocheting off the wall.

“Fuck,” Levi groaned and threw up his hand in frustration.

The mere thought of her lying on that large bed looking a little frail and vulnerable but with dirty words coming out of her mouth made him grow hard again and he shifted uncomfortably to alleviate the chafing misery in his trousers.

“I can’t think of anything but being naked with her,” he admitted to his conversational partner. “When the only thing I should worry about is how to protect her from the lunatics down here.”

The cat that lounged on a barrel next to him blinked lazily at the string of swear words coming out of his mouth next, curled up its tail around its body and put its head on its paws to sleep.

Thinking of very unpleasant things was an old trick to diminish rampant cockstands. But in the current case, it did not help. It was a frigging disaster! Thinking of garbage brought his thoughts back to her on top of him after falling down, a hard, trained body that was still unmistakably a woman’s. Thinking of dust and dirt only made him remember the previous night during which he had been worried sick for her lying there in the filth of one of his former hideouts, then the relief he had felt when she hadn’t died, the distracting _tenderness_ that had flooded him at the sight of her eyes opening. And that damn smell of her… Levi groaned. Was it stuck in his nose?

Lust would have been one thing, a man in possession of at least one hand knew how to deal with it - but this, this… it was so much worse.

Exasperated, Levi threw all stones at the window at once, pointlessly satisfied when it shattered. He knew of his darned protective streak, but that usually didn’t mean his brain was affected like this. What now?

Already, it was clear that it would end badly. He had broken his promise not to go anywhere the second Maria had whisked Hanji away. Feeling trapped and suffocating in that brothel, he had fled the premise through a window. It was the smell that made him remember things he had fought hard to forget. It lingered in the air even when customers were as scarce as they were right now. It made him sick and his heart hurt.

While Hanji had recovered in the morning, he had tried to get through to Xandra to threaten or more preferably, kill her, but her whores had quite skillfully known how to keep him away. Half of the girls in that house were trained as assassins, he guessed. Good on them.There was nothing more pitiful than whores who could not protect themselves. And still, how he hated to be around them. He couldn’t stand how their beauty was always already fading as soon as it blossomed. He hated how coarse and hard they had to become because even the slightest tendency for softness led to endless suffering.

He hated that he couldn’t help them, just like he had not been able to help his mother.

He hated how his mother’s love for him had made her vulnerable. How his mother had wanted to buy him better food and better clothes, and how she had worked longer hours because of it, had agreed to things that hurt her because it paid better. Every time she had sent him out of the room, he had known he would find her crying afterwards, but only in secret so he wouldn’t see.

“Maybe I’m just fucking useless,” he grumbled and kicked the barrel. The cat shot up, hissed at him angrily and jumped off, disappearing around the corner, tail held high.

He could have pushed and risked more in order to get to Xandra, but he had held back because Hanji needed him. Or did she? By poisoning Hanji, they had made her untouchable for a while because dead leverage was no leverage at all. As a fully recovered leverage was no leverage at all. He just needed to find out what kind of poison she had been given. A poison that required the intake of several doses of antidote over days… strange.

He knew exactly who would be able to help him find out though.

Levi straightened at the faint sound of footsteps.

“Found out anything useful?” he asked the girl that was stepping out of the shadows. Their previous guide, who had answered his summons delivered via a small boy surprisingly fast, sported three braids today but had only the one skirt in her possession, it seemed.

Esmelda just looked at him sullenly. “I found out who _you_ are,” she challenged him. “Chika is abuzz with the news.”

“Yeah, fine,” he shrugged. “Doesn’t change anything. Found what I’m looking for?”

“I think you’re not paying me enough.”

“You think?”

“Working for you is risky,” she declared, a finger in the air for emphasis. “My price has gone up.”

“If you know who I am,” Levi said and took a step towards her meaning to intimidate, “you should know that haggling with me is pointless.”

She looked slightly unsettled, but squared her shoulders and put her chin forward. “Are you looking to form a gang again?”

Levi snorted. What, a gang of reeking ragamuffins? “No.”

“They say you have come to clean the place up.”

“All the mops in the world would not suffice,” Levi mumbled. The thought oddly pleased him though. Clean everything up. Leave for good, knowing it was clean.

“My bro said not to get involved with you. That people who follow you turn up dead.”

“He’s not wrong.”

“I don’t mind,” Esmelda claimed. “As long as the money is right.”

Levi shook his head at her. “That’s the kind of thinking that will get you killed before your twelfth birthday.”

“I’m not that stupid!”

“... or make you an extremely rich crime kingpin that lives slightly longer.”

“I’d like to be a kingpin,” Esmelda nodded solemnly. “At least for a bit.”

“Okay,” Levi said, “in that case, I will give you another shilling and you tell me what happened to the people the MP arrested last night.”

“It was _so easy_ to find out,” the girl rejoiced, her dirty hand closing tightly over the piece of money Levi drew from his pocket. “The MP keep them locked up in their headquarters.”

“And they are where these days…?”

“You know nothing,” Esmelda chided him, “completely useless, how is it possible people fear you that much?”

“As future kingpin, I’ll let you in on a secret: act scary and most people will be scared.”

“Huh,” she seemed impressed. “So you didn’t actually kill people?”

“Well…,” Levi sighed. “Some needed to be killed. But let’s hope you’ll have people to do this kind of thing for you once you’re kingpin.”

“Will _you_ help me?” Esmelda looked excited at the thought.

“Nah,” Levi looked up to the cave ceiling. “I won’t stay here for more than a few days.”

“You want me to show you where the HQs are?”

“Yes,” Levi said.

“Are you going to kill someone?”

“I’ll try not to,” he mumbled but his hand went to his knife routinely, finding it in its usual place. Yes, sometimes, people had to be killed. He just hoped that today at least, it would be people who deserved it.

###

“My name is Xandra,” the woman otherwise known as Mother said and waved to her massive bodyguard to bring refreshments. Zoë grinned when he carefully carried a tea tray over to them. It was tiny in his huge hands and looked ridiculous, like a toy set for little girls.

“I won’t drink anything,” Zoë declined.

“I see,” Xandra smiled and took the cup from her bodyguard’s hand instead, sipped from it and held it out to Zoë. “It’s safe. And delicious. An expensive tea. Levi would like it too.”

Cautiously, Zoë took the cup. It was filigrane china with little red roses and… hearts? How cheesy.

“Has Levi told you about me?” Xandra asked, accepting another cup from the giant’s massive paws.

“Not exactly,” Zoë admitted. It was something she wasn’t happy about, Levi’s stubborn silence when it came to his life in the Underground. She had been used for putting pressure on him twice and poisoned once so far, which gave her a right to understand what was going on here, didn’t it?

“He blames me for what happened to his mother.”

Oh. Would there be more information forthcoming? Zoë fidgeted with the delicate cup as she waited with bated breath.

“She died in poverty, from a disease that would have been caught soon enough had she not been banned from all brothels,” Xandra continued soberly.

“And you are to blame for that?”

“In a way. I told our Madame that Olympia had a son hidden away in the cupboard. She chased her out and made sure she was burnt goods. Rules are rules.”

Not nice.

“He told me to kill you. I think he was right.”

“But can you do it?”

The challenge was softly uttered, the eyes still friendly and calm. Yeah, could she? Zoë had been trained to kill Titans, humanity’s enemies. But kill a human? One she didn’t even know? She contemplated this for a while, feeling no great urge to try. In fact, she was much too curious to learn more for the moment.

“It is hard to kill,” Mother sighed. “Yet gets easier with time. Levi cried when he killed his first. And got hit so hard afterwards that he never cried again. He had a tough teacher.”

Zoë didn’t particularly like the familiarity with which Xandra talked about Levi, as if she had always been a part of his life, when Levi clearly didn’t value her in the least. And she didn’t like that this woman knew how to tempt her with secret knowledge.

“You should have asked me why I told the Madame about Levi in the cupboard,” Xandra said, “instead of just assuming I am a vile person.”

“Was Levi’s mother very beautiful? A rival of yours that you wanted to get rid of? Maybe you were jealous.”

“Ah,” Mother smiled a small, sad smile. “You understand human weaknesses well. But jealousy is pointless and I made sure never to succumb to it a long while ago. But yes, Olympia was very beautiful. She was beautiful and kind, helpful and hopeful. The kind to suffer horribly in this hell hole.”

Zoë took a sip of tea. Strong, bitter, with a hint of sweetness. If it had not been jealousy, had it been about power? If she wasn’t mistaken, what had happened last night at the gambling event was Xandra’s doing. If Xandra dared to take on Renzo like this, she held a lot of power too. Had Levi’s mother just been a stepping stone on her way up?

“I am not used to puzzling out women’s intentions,” Zoë admitted since this seemed a dead end. “I’ve been around men for too long. Most of them are straightforward and very simple. I need a little help.”

Xandra laughed her pearly little laugh. “That is indeed true, you _do_ need my help. In about three minutes, you will desperately need a new dose of the antidote.”

The snake.

“I want you to listen to me,” Xandra explained gently. “And I mean _listen_ and then do exactly what I tell you to do. Don’t hold it against me, but Levi would already have moved to kill me without a moment of hesitation if I didn’t hold you and your life hostage. Even like this I’m taking a high risk - he might sacrifice you. I know what he is.”

Zoë felt a little twinge in the heart region. Would she mind if that was true? A little bit. She’d be disappointed. No, hurt. Okay, she would mind a lot. She had come to think that she meant something to Levi, but that was silly. Revenge was such a strong motivator. And this was about his mother whom he had obviously loved very much.

“I won’t betray Levi,” Zoë said stubbornly anyway. “Whatever he chooses to do.”

“Ah,” Xandra said and put down her cup with a soft clink. “Don’t be stupid, Zoë Hange.”

_She trusted that scumbag and look what happened to her_ , Maria’s voice echoed in Zoë’s head all of a sudden, _are you stupid? Don’t fall for his tricks_.

A spell of dizziness hit her so hard, she dropped the pretty cup. She heard it shatter on the table and felt shards fall against her clothing and shoes. The world was turned on its head. Her stomach clenched and bile rose in her throat.

“It was quite clever how Levi outsmarted Lebov and managed to get out of here with Commander Erwin’s help. But you see, there’s an unspoken rule here in the underground. You cannot just leave. Especially not if you’re someone like Levi,” Zoë heard Xandra’s calm voice somewhere in the distance.

It was a little hard to concentrate. Maybe she would just throw up all over the pretty furniture.

“You know, Levi is special,” Xandra continued, just as someone tilted Zoë’s head back roughly - it was the huge oaf with no hair - and poured some liquid down her throat, making sure she swallowed.

It tasted… it tasted familiar. Coughing and gagging, Zoë jerked her head back down and spat some of the concoction on her sleeve. She needed a clear head to figure this out. Later.

“Feeling better?” Xandra smiled after Zoë had stopped coughing.

Zoë managed a nod, not more. Hanging on to the content of her stomach was still a challenge for a while.

“I hope we understand each other now,” Mother said and gestured for a new cup.

No, they did not. Not in the least. But Zoë nodded in agreement, making her timid face. All her life before she had joined the military, people had looked at her and had seen a plain, unattractive girl of the nobility who had one sole use. Get married off to someone suitable who didn’t care too much about looks, bear many children to ensure the nobility was numerous enough to continue their rule over the rabble in the outer wall areas. Don’t speak up, don’t think. Do as you’re told.

But she had run from that life at the first possible chance and had never looked back. Mother had grabbed the wrong woman hostage. Whatever she was planning to do, Zoë would fight her at every turn.

“It wasn’t me who drove his mother underground,” Xandra continued her musings, “I refuse to take blame for her sad life.”

So she had lived on the outside first?

“You are wondering where she came from? I never managed to find out. But I know they would have killed her and her unborn child if they had found out about her pregnancy. And she knew that too.”

“They?”

Just a faint smile instead of an answer.

“So he really _is_ the bastard child of one of the princes?!” Zoë blurted out.

Xandra laughed again, this time more loudly. “You read too many romance stories, Zoë Hange. I do not know who the father is. Olympia never told me. But she did not have to. Levi is special not because of him - but because of her.”

Special. Yes, Zoë agreed with that label. He was indeed special. She nodded her agreement.

“Oh, I think he is far more valuable than you can ever know,” Xandra suddenly looked much more serious. And calculating. And Zoë became ten degrees more wary.

“And I’m not even sure Commander Erwin knows what he snatched away,” Xandra continued, “though he is a cold, calculating bastard. But I digress. Levi left this house half an hour ago. Looks like he is going back to that Church Demon. _Not_ what I had planned.”

“He’s hardly a demon,” Zoë thought of Renzo and had to chuckle at the memory of that silly hat he had worn. “Actually, he’s quite refined.”

“I don’t mean the Artist,” Xandra waved an impatient hand through the air. “I mean that woman. Annika.”

Annika…? Zoë’s smile froze.

“Annika will hand Levi over to Renzo Church because she hates Levi. He broke her. Thoroughly. And she’s not a woman ever to forget.”

Did Zoë want to know more about what had happened between Levi and Annika? Well, of course she did, she was always curious. But then again… maybe not right now. She was quite certain she wouldn’t like one bit of it.

“You won’t get rid of him once he attaches himself to you,” Xandra explained. “But if he manages to break away despite all he’s programmed to do… many other things break too. Valuable things.”

A few things fell into place in Zoë’s head at that moment.

“Your betrayal of his mother wasn’t about his mother at all.”

Xandra smiled that infuriating smile of hers again. But it was confirmation.

“You did it to make sure someone… they? They couldn’t get their hands on Levi.”

“Very good,” Xandra nodded, looking pleased. “They couldn’t and they can’t. That is why I need you. If Renzo gets his hands on him this time, he will make extra sure not to lose him again. He is worth an astronomical sum.”

“To whom? And why?” Those were the two obvious questions, but somehow, Zoë doubted she would receive an honest answer.

“He is what you might call an experiment,” Xandra just said. “And experiments are meant to be controlled.”

She would have to live with this cryptic answer, Zoë knew. Fine, she would puzzle it out for herself. They. Experiments. Something Levi was programmed to do… sounded pretty outlandish, but then again, there were Titans in the world, so....

“But what is in it for you?” she posted what was going to be her last question.

Xandra paused a while, looking thoughtful. “Maybe I loved Olympia. Maybe it was enough love to extend to her son. Will that suffice? And now, let us talk business. This is what I need you to do…”


	16. To the Rescue

“Back off, kid,” Levi growled at the girl who was crowding him in his hiding place behind the beer barrels. She smelled like she hadn’t bathed in weeks and frequently rolled in the gutter for fun.

“I need to learn from you if I want to become kingpin,” she elbowed him in the side in her attempt to get even closer.

“For fuck’s sake!” Levi pushed her away, not having a wish to contract head lice. “Stay over there!”

“You’re nasty,” she pouted, rubbing her arm.

“That’s my trademark,” he agreed and made sure to concentrate on the guards in front of the Military Police headquarters again. There were two, leaning against the wall. They looked to be discussing something.

“Will you charge?” The girl had snuck closer again.

“Shhh, quiet,” Levi snapped.

“They’re not paying attention at all. They’re all lazy and useless, y’know.”

That had once been his opinion too. But after spending time listening to Erwin talk about the organization of the military branches, he now feared that not everyone was rotten in the Military Police. Indeed, the raid he had witnessed the night before had not only been an unpleasant surprise, but had also been pulled off with great efficiency. Better to be careful - it seemed that whoever had command down here was not a complete dolt.

“We wait until shift change,” Levi told the girl, silently chiding himself for making it a ‘we’. But she was a tenacious little creature and he had only so much energy to spare to keep her away.

“Why?” Esmelda edged closer again. “They look weak. Overpower them!”

“A shift is three hours long. We don’t know how long these two have been standing here. After we witness the shift change, we wait for two hours and fifty minutes before we do anything.”

“You mean to wait for another three hours?!” her mouth flew open. “How dumb are you?”

“I never told you to glue yourself to my side,” Levi shrugged. “Go find something else to do if you’re impatient.”

The current MP headquarters were situated in a large house with thick stone walls. The roof looked newly patched, the windows were whole and marvelously clean. Levi knew it had once belonged to a half-criminal merchant family with ties to the above-ground economy. Apparently, they now rented it to the MP. Prisoners would be held in the basement, in the former storage rooms. That meant narrow staircases that were easy to guard and defend and a space damn hard to get in and out of unseen.

Unless… Levi tilted his head back and studied the roof. That could work.

“Guard change, guard change!” the girl fidgeted excitedly, nudging him with her pointy elbow.

Levi looked towards the door. And swore.

“Oh,” Esmelda sounded impressed, “I’ve never heard that word before. What is it?”

Levi couldn’t believe his bad luck. Treibel. Fucking _Theodor Treibel_ had just stepped out of the house. Brown hair, hard eyes and a pinched mouth. Also attentive and dutiful. Had he followed Hanji down the stairs? Why?!

“Did you just growl like a dog?” Esmelda asked intrigued.

“I know that one,” Levi pressed out. He knew that his hate towards the guy was slightly irrational but it also gave him a welcome boost of energy. “Waiting for two hours and fifty minutes is off the table, that one won’t slack.”

“Yay, we’re charging!” The girl already launched herself forward eagerly. Luckily, Levi managed to catch one of her braids just before she could break cover.

“Hold it,” he snapped.

“Let go, you brute!” She swatted at his hand on her hair.

“Sit down and shut up,” he commanded. “I have a job for you.”

“Two shillings,” she immediately said.

“There’s four shillings in this,” he liked how she tried to contain her apparent glee, but failed spectacularly, “but only, _only_ if we’re successful. Most importantly, you need to be stealthy.”

“I can be stealthy!” she nodded, the grin still spreading.

“Okay, see the chimney up there? There’s no smoke - so there’s no fire. I want you to climb on the roof, get in and climb down until you reach a room that is empty. The further down the better. There, you open a window and signal to me - I will join you.”

“I will do that!” She wanted to bolt, but he held her back once more.

“I’m not done explaining.”

“Sounds like a five shilling job. So many different parts to this plan. Complicated.”

“Five it is. When I tell you, I want you to create a commotion. First _in_ the house, without getting caught. Then, you will run out with something valuable so that they’ll charge after you.”

“That’s dangerous,” Esmelda frowned. “If they catch me…”

“Make sure they don’t,” Levi said, meaning it.

“You are using me, aren’t you?” The girl said knowingly though seemed happy enough about her conclusion.

“I am,” Levi agreed. “I’m small, but I doubt I’ll fit into that chimney. I’ll find another way if you don’t want to do this though.”

“But I do,” she said. “For s… six shillings.”

“You drive a hard bargain,” Levi felt the corners of his mouth twitch.

“I will need about ten minutes to organize help for phase two,” she held out her hand demandingly. “Why don’t you give me a down payment now and the rest later?”

###

The girl was quick and efficient. Not fifteen minutes after she had climbed the roof and disappeared down the chimney, she opened a window on the first floor facing a small alley and waved a dirty piece of cloth that looked suspiciously like a part of her tattered skirt. Keeping to the shadows, Levi raced to the spot and scaled the walls, joining her in the room mere minutes later.

Taking in the furnishing, a large table and several chairs around it, Levi surmised the room was used for commander’s meetings - it looked very similar to the one the Survey Corps used. There were three stacks of papers on the table drawing his eyes, neatly arranged. He spotted the MP symbol in the left corner and another emblem at the bottom. A… what was that? A cat? Frowning, Levi decided to have a closer look. Likely foolish, seeing how time was of the essence but Levi hadn’t become a topclass thief in his earlier life for being cautious.

Levi leafed through the first stack. Logistics. Ugh, so boring.

“What does it say?” Esmelda wanted to know, poking her nose over his arm. Levi ignored her.

The second stack was more interesting. Deployment plans. Quickly, Levi memorized what seemed important. Stairs, rosters, downtime. Locations. And… he took a sharp breath. Payments? Damn.

“What’s that?” Esmelda tried to touch the emblem with the strange animal in it, but Levi pushed her dirty fingers aside. His heart had picked up its pace. That one. That one. And… that one. He folded the sheets in the middle and pushed them between his shirt and his bare skin.

“Oh,” the girl looked thoughtful. “You’re stealing them. Can you teach me to read?” She was visibly disappointed that she had not realized the value of the documents before him.

“No,” Levi said curtly, already hurrying to the door to open it a crack.

“Does it take long?” Esmelda pestered him. “Learning to read?”

“Depends on how smart you are,” he told her distractedly as he pulled out a mirror to check for guards outside in the corridor. Once he was sure there were none, he stepped out. The staircase was to the right.

“I want you to go up the stairs, making a lot of noise,” Levi told his eager accomplice. “And yes, that’s covered by the six shillings. I hope guards from downstairs will follow you - just hide in the chimney again if you must. Count to one thousand. Slowly. Then grab something and leave the house through the front door. Make sure they see you.”

“One … thousand...?”

Levi sighed.

“Is that a very large number?”

“Yes,” Levi nodded, “yes, and if you leave the house too early, you won’t get the rest of the money because they’ll most likely catch me.”

“Don’t worry, Nii-chan. I never mess up,” Esmelda thumped her chest with her fist.

“Don’t call me that,” he snapped, but the damage was already done. And he had walked into it with his eyes wide open: Yet another excitable girl too eager to die while following him.

Not in the least discouraged, Esmelda moved, making a lot of noise. Soon afterwards, heavy steps thumped up the stairs. Three, maybe four men, exchanging hurried words. As soon as Levi heard them move overhead, he went forward at high speed. The staircase was open and winding - he swung his feet over the balustrade and let himself fall. It took him mere seconds to get to the bottom. The door to the basement was unguarded, but locked.

As an ex-thief, Levi knew how to pick locks at the highest speed and he had come prepared. The stairs leading down into the darkness were very narrow and steep. Another jump and he was in.

“Annika?” he asked. “Are you here?”

“I am,” her voice sounded from somewhere in the back, “question is: why are you?”

###

“Hi,” Zoë smiled and lifted her hand, “it’s me.”

“Goddamit,” Renzo sprung to his feet, his blue eyes blazing viciously. “You little cunt, I should have known you’d betray me.”

Hm?

“Did you just call me a cunt?” Zoë asked, a little perplexed.

“I think he means me,” Maria glowered.

“Yes, I mean her,” Renzo confirmed. “Coming to me crying and pleading for help, playing the damsel in distress? Two-timing bitch!”

“And here I was thinking you were a refined, sensitive type,” Zoë shook her head and sat down on the same chair she had used before, stretching her legs out, crossing her ankles. Her legs in _trousers_. Hallelujah, she could move like a human again. “How disappointing.”

“I’m disappointed too,” Renzo grumbled, sitting back down behind his desk, his back ram-straight, his body tense. “I thought we got along well.”

“Marvelously,” Zoë agreed, “but then you left me alone in a room full of strangers and things went to hell.”

Renzo exhaled slowly, his eyes thoughtful. “Here we are, at an impasse. I lost hours of sleep trying to deal with this mess. I was damn worried when your name didn’t turn up in the MP’s prisoner list. Xandra got her hands on you?”

“In a way,” Zoë nodded. “And I kinda have to do what she tells me or else…,” she made a throat slitting gesture with her hand.

Renzo titled his head to the side, waiting for the explanatory shoe to drop.

“Poison,” Zoë dropped it theatrically in a sad, sad voice. “This charming girl here was the one to put it in my drinks, I was informed. And I need more antidotes as demonstrated to me earlier today.”

“Fuck,” Renzo cursed and slammed his fist onto his desk, shooting more daggers at Maria with his eyes.

Yeah, that summed it up well. But Zoë was way beyond the ‘I’m fucking annoyed or is this panic?’ state by now. Better to work towards her own salvation. She had made sure to get trousers out of the conversation with Xandra, but she had also made sure the piece of cloth on which she had spat the antidote was tucked away safely in her pocket. Something told her that the man with the great hair in front of her could be convinced to help her identify what kind of poison she had been given.

“And Levi?” Renzo asked. His voice was neutral. It was kinda hard to read him, which was warning enough for Zoë not to let herself be fooled by good looks.

“Not here,” she shrugged. “Maybe he left for good. He kinda likes to do the opposite of what people tell him, you know.”

“Then please tell me why _you’re_ here,” Renzo said, folding his hands in his lap. He had long, elegant fingers that looked like they only touched brushes, not knives.

“I’d love to kill you,” Maria hissed.

Renzo laughed at her. “I’m not talking to you, you pox-infested whore.”

“Has nobody told you not to call women names like this?” Zoë asked.

“I do as I please,” Renzo snapped at her. “No woman tells me what to do if she values her life.”

Zoë’s mood turned several degrees more sour. Definitely better not to get distracted by his good looks. She had considered being nice to this man because he had not tried to coerce her with poison - but maybe he didn’t deserve it.

“Well,” she said slowly. “In that case I will tell you what to do in very clear terms. If you apprehend Levi and attempt to hand him over to ‘them’, Xandra will release documents to the authorities that contain all kinds of interesting details about your dealings. Money going here and there, that kind of thing. Given the nature of those dealings and the names on this list, the MP and all the other people in your pocket will have no choice but to move against you if they don’t want to go down with you.”

Silence.

“I see,” Renzo said slowly after a brief while, a far-away look entering his eyes. Maybe he was trying to fathom whether these documents really existed. Zoë couldn’t say, but the threat sounded convincing to her.

She was dying to find out more about who ‘they’ were, but asked “Where’s Annika?” instead. Because Xandra had implied Levi was where Annika was and she wouldn’t mind a word with the Mister who was at the center of this great mess and had forgotten to tell her why.

“I’m still trying to negotiate her release,” Renzo frowned. “But Xandra let the authorities know how much she is worth to me. The terms aren’t favorable and...”

A commotion outside and one of Renzo’s men burst in.

“Big trouble at the MP headquarters,” he panted. “All hell broke loose.”

Ah. Zoë smiled. She’d bet all her money on this having a lot to do with Levi.

“Levi busting Annika out?” Renzo asked, turning her head to look at Zoë. As if she knew what that little pain in the ass was up to all day long. “Interesting.”

Renzo got up and signalled something to his men who had started to crowd the hallway outside.

“Let’s get ready,” he said, “for whatever trouble decides to come this way. You,” he pointed at Zoë, “will take shelter here. That one,” he pointed at Maria, “will be locked up with you. I assume she carries at least one dose of the antidote with her? I’ll take that, thank you.”

Maria struggled valiantly, but five men held her down as Renzo searched for the vial. The smart girl carried three different ones and shouted that Zoë would certainly die if she took the wrong one. But Zoë wasn’t paying much attention. If Levi was coming here, then ‘here’ was fine with her. She leaned back to relax a little. Would Renzo have a microscope?

“Xandra is a little off the mark though,” Renzo suddenly added almost like an afterthought, standing very near Zoë. “I have no clue who ‘they’ are and why ‘they’ are after Levi. But seeing all the trouble she’s going through, I will make sure to find out.”

###

A little winded, Levi looked over his shoulders to check for pursuers. There were none. Apparently, the guards were still chasing the band of kids down the main streets and they had escaped unseen. He heaved a small sigh of relief. It could all have gone very, very wrong.

“Crazy bastard,” Annika laughed, rubbing her chafed wrists after Levi had pried open the shackles with his lockpick tools. “I thought I’d rot down there. They let everybody go but me!”

A little bewildered, he noticed that her hands were shaking violently. Her appearance was also quite dreadful: Straw was sticking out of her tangled hair, her glorious red dress was wrinkled and ripped - and there were pronounced dark circles underneath her eyes, like soot smudges on a face that was much too pale.

“Did they mistreat you?” Levi frowned, feeling a brief echo of the old protective impulse towards her in his chest.

“They’ll regret it,” she grimaced, rolling her shoulders. “All they did will be given back a hundred times. And they took all my knives, fuck!”

He squinted at her. There was a familiar sheen in her eyes that he did not like at all. It signalled that Anni was about to snap. And if she did...

“I’m taking you to Renzo,” Levi decided. “Now’s not the time for revenge.”

“It’s always time for revenge,” she contradicted him, abruptly sitting down in the middle of the filthy street in the small, dark alley. “Xandra is behind this, right?”

Levi nodded.

Annika cursed. “That nob Renzo told us to shake down at the cards table… he was in on the whole scheme. There must be a spy at Renzo’s who told Xandra everything! Fuck, we were too careless!”

“You weren’t poisoned though, were you?” Levi asked, looking her over once more. No signs of that as far as he could see.

“Some kind of nasty knock out drug got me, I guess,” Annika shuddered. “Vicious headache for hours. Actually, it still plagues me.”

“Do you know whom Xandra would get her poisons from?”

“Fuck, Levi,” Annika groaned, briefly closing her eyes as if in pain. “Give me a break. I am winded and feel like shit. You could at least have pretended for five more minutes that you got me out of there for old times’ sake and not because you need information.”

“But I need information. Fast.”

“Who is it you’re asking for?” Annika examined his face with a deepening pout. “Please don’t tell me it’s that ugly woman from Mitras.”

“Yes, it’s her,” Levi frowned. “She’s an important person in the military.”

“And we care about the military since…?”

“Since I’m part of it,” Levi snapped.

“Then you’re a traitor,” Annika shrugged, “go rot in hell. Preferably with her.” She pulled a face at her next thought. “Then again, if Xandra poisoned her, she means to use her to get you to obey. Hm, I see the problem. Okay, I’ll tell you. Xandra and everybody else gets poison from Oliver.”

“Oliver.”

“Yes, Oliver.”

“You can’t mean the nice old grandpa we used to get liquorice from?”

“That’s exactly whom I mean,” Annika grinned. “He got sick of being a nice old grandpa running a make-believe apothecary - now he’s a crafty, rich dealer of poisons.”

“Well. Can’t blame people for wanting to change their careers,” Levi shrugged and held out his hand to help Annika up.

She grabbed it and he pulled.

“But I’m not going back to Renzo just yet,” she snarled, stepping so close he felt her warm breath hit his cheek.

“Oh yes, you will c....”

Hasty footsteps and shouts made him whirl around, his hip bumping Annika’s. Esmelda came running in their direction, skidding to a sudden stop when she saw them standing there. She turned to run back, but it was too late: Two MPs were at her heels, turning into the alley too. She looked a little desperate as she sped forward again, right for him and Annika. She probably thought she wouldn’t get the rest of her money now.

“Stop right there!” one of the soldiers shouted. _Theodor fucking Treibel._ Luckily, neither was wearing 3D-maneuvering gear. They had a good chance to escape them.

“Down,” Levi snapped at Esmelda, grabbing her by the neck and throwing her to the side. “Hide and don’t come out.” If she was smart enough, she’d crawl into a basement and get away.

“Run!” he tried to grab Annika’s hand to pull her along but she evaded him by twisting to the side.

Everything happened very fast after that. He felt her hand go down his trousers. He spun around but she was already racing towards the military officers. With his knife in her hand!

They didn’t know what hit them. She was incredibly fast.

Annika slit the first guy’s throat with a graceful sweep of her arm, drawing an arc of blood into the air. Part of Levi’s brain was impressed by the precision and the ruthlessness. Another part was horrified: He had seen just one person kill like this before. Kenny. Kenny the Ripper. It was his signature move.

With a triumphant howl, Annika launched herself at Theodor.

A defensive move of his made her miss his throat. She ripped open the length of his arm instead. Theodor screamed and went down, clutching the wound. Levi threw himself at Annika just when she lifted her arm to go in for the kill. They rolled across the filthy street in a tangle of limbs. Screeching and spitting, she bit him, hard, in the hand. He tried to grab her knife hand, she slashed whatever part of his body she could reach. The knife pierced his side but did not go too deep because the angle was wrong, it got stuck against a rib. She pulled it out and struck again, before Levi managed to ram his head against her throat. Gurgling, she fell away. Only, that brought her closer to Theodor who was scrambling out of the way on his belly. Levi slipped on the blood on the street when he tried to get up. All the time Annika needed to jump on Theodor’s back and grab his hair to rip back his head.

“Bloody vermin!” her high pitched scream echoed from the walls to both sides of them as she brought the knife down.

A sizable stone hit her between the eyes just when she began to slice. With a grunt of pain, she blinked and shook her head dazedly. Enough of a diversion for Levi to rip Annika away from Theodor by her hair, throwing her on her back and kicking the knife out of her hand. But she slammed her straight leg up into the parts that really hurt. Levi doubled over with a howl of pain. Her hands were around his throat the next second and she pressed, hard, trying to crush his windpipe. He saw stars. His hands were blindly trying to grab onto something, getting a hold of her arms. Finding a pressure point at the elbows. The grip around his throat loosened momentarily and he gulped in the putrid air like a drowning person. Annika grabbed his right hand and twisted. Levi heard the bones break but he did not feel any pain. Yet.

“I am going to kill you,” he promised her, her face so close to his, “I should have done it years ago.”

Annika laughed maniacally, scrambling to her feet, still holding his broken hand, now almost tenderly. “Goddammit, I love you!” she screamed. Her mouth was on his before he could jerk back. She bit his lips. He pushed her away, tasting blood, tears and sweat. He swung his good hand, her head was thrown back from his uppercut and she fell down on her rump. Levi went for his knife.

“I better go, I guess,” Annika grinned up at him, blood painting her face the same color as her dress.

He launched himself forward to make good on his promise but Annika threw herself to the side, kicked at his kneecap and almost broke his leg too.

“Leave him alone, you nasty woman!” Levi heard Esmelda shout.

“No…,” he managed to press out. But the fierce girl had already come out of her hiding place and was going for Annika.

“Who the fuck are you?” Annika asked and struck. The sound when Esmelda’s head hit the wall was sickening.

“Esmelda…,” Levi’s leg was damaged after all, he realized, as he hobbled unsteadily towards the little, unmoving body. “You stupid girl, didn’t I tell you to hide?”

She was alive. Levi gently lifted her bleeding head into his lap. The skull wasn’t broken as far as he could see.

“Gotta get you to a hospital,” he told her, brushing hair away from her pale face.

“Who… are you?” someone gargled.

It was Treibel, eyeing him with a mixture of shock and awe from the ground. Blood was pouring out of him at an alarming rate but he was alive.

“Hold still,” Levi ordered him. After laying Esmelda down again, he ripped the dead comrade’s clothes to shreds and went about to stop Treibel’s bleeding. Levi applied pressure before fashioning a tourniquet with the belt of the dead MP. The guy was lucky. No artery hit.

“Thank you,” Theodor said. He was about to black out, it seemed. Levi realized he was shaking himself. Pain registered somewhere in the back of his head. He pushed it away.

“Take the girl to a hospital,” Levi said, “you owe me that. And her.”

Theodor’s eyes were glazing over but he managed to nod.

Levi tried to get up.

“Fuck,” he cursed.

It took him three attempts to stand upright. Now for walking. He told himself that he would see Hanji soon, which gave him consolation and something to look forward to. He just needed to get back to Xandra and...

He got as far as ten steps before his legs buckled and he fell on his face. As long as he had energy to swear, he wasn’t dead, he told himself. So he swore, long and nasty. He could do this. He really could.

“And who, pray, is going to clean up this mess?” someone said somewhere above him and sighed dramatically.

Levi turned his head and blinked the blood out of his eyes. Troubled blue eyes were staring down at him. For a second, he thought it was Commander Erwin and felt relief. That just showed how out of it he was though: Of course it wasn’t Erwin.

“Up,” Renzo said and put his arms around Levi’s body. “Up, you bastard. How dare you create such a fucking mess, you idiot? Curse your entire bloodline to hell and back. You’re nothing but trouble. We were doing so well without you.”

“No, I want to see Hanji,” Levi said and struggled against Renzo’s grip.

Levi felt the man’s laughter in his own body and it fucking hurt. He tried to kick him away but missed.

“I’ve got your Hanji, idiot,” Renzo said and let go of him. Others took over, holding Levi up by his armpits, beginning to drag him forward. “I bet she can’t wait to see you like this.”

But Levi wasn’t worried about that. Hanji would understand. He would tell her about Oliver. They would get the antidote. They would leave. And they would spend the rest of their punishment at Survey Corps headquarters like two obedient soldiers. In bed. Together. 


	17. Hurt

It was an old doctor with infernal hands who tended to him, not Hanji.

Hence, Levi didn't cooperate with the infuriating commands to hold still until at least five of them forced a vile tasting liquid down his throat that made him instantly drowsy. Getting stitches on his side was unpleasant but what they did with his throbbing hand was much worse.

He cursed at them when they set the bones so he didn’t have to scream but his tongue began to form strange knots as his mind became muddled. His eyelids got incredibly heavy too and despite great resistance on his part, they fell shut.

He dreamt of killing hundreds of people with his blades, the streets were awash in blood and gore as the force of violence coursed through him.

When he awoke, he was in considerable pain and in a foul mood. He was also alone: Hanji _still_ hadn’t come! Either the Church asshole had lied to him and she wasn’t here at all - or was but she didn’t care how he fared. Both possibilities bore unpleasant potential consequences that he brooded over for a while.

Well, it was easy, he concluded in the end. If she wasn’t here, he would have to go find her.

Getting up proved to be a bit tricky though. They had fucking _bound_ him to the bed! His right arm was completely immobile but he could move the fingers on his left hand at least. Deftly, they began to work on the knots they could reach. Finally, the hand was free. But by that time, Levi’s mouth was so dry his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth. His roaming eyes located a bottle next to the bed - could be anything in there, but he was too thirsty to care.

It took him way too long to free the whole arm, blast it. Besides, he was so exhausted after the ordeal, he nearly dropped the bottle. Which, he belatedly realized after emptying it all into his mouth, would have been fortuitous - because it contained that vile sedative that knocked him out immediately.

This time, he dreamt of fires - the entire world burnt as nine gigantic Titans looked on with blank faces.

He awoke sweating and shaking, his head feeling like a gigantic ball full of air. But someone was sitting next to him.

“Hanji?” he croaked, feeling a strong rush of relief when he recognized the familiar shape.

“Hey,” she seemed to jerk awake, then bent forward, “how are you feeling?”

“Hanji,” Levi wanted to grab her hand but someone had tied him up and covered him with a blanket again. “Hanji, take those off me!”

“Hmmmm,” she peered into his face. It was rather dark in the room, but there must be a single flame somewhere behind her, creating a faint corona of light around her head. Strange, yet eerily beautiful. “Nah, I think it’s better if you keep lying down for a bit.”

“But I want to sit up!”

“Shh,” she said, brushing her fingers over his forehead briefly, “you really need to lie still and mend. Don’t fidget.”

Her touch was light and fleeting and gone too soon, but his heart began to beat faster. How could he get her to put her hand back?

“I’m goddamn thirsty,” he articulated with difficulty. His tongue felt like a bloated, uncooperative slug. “I want water! Not that stuff,” he disdainfully pointed his chin at the refilled bottle on the bedside table.

“There’s water here,” she turned to the table behind her. The candle on there illuminated her face: She looked very tired, Levi realized with a pang, exhausted, actually.

“Here,” she poured something into a glass from a pitcher. “Do we have to be careful because of poison?”

“No,” he croaked, “I know who the person behind the poisons is. We can leave soon.”

“That I doubt,” she said, lifted his head with a hand and put the glass to his lips. The lips stung hellishly but it was water, plain and simple, and it felt good as it went down his hurting throat. Water _she_ shouldn’t drink before boiling it twice because her stomach was not accustomed to the water in the Underground and he was worried it would make her sick. He told her that and she listened patiently to his ramblings.

“I waited for you,” Levi blurted out when she had put the glass back on the table, “what took you so long?”

“I was in the lab,” Hanji answered a little distractedly. What lab? Why? He suddenly feared she was only staying out of politeness.

“I’m still thirsty,” he murmured. The answer to why she had not come earlier was plain and simple: A lab trumped everything. It was even likely she would die in a lab one day, from dehydration and starvation. Did someone take care of her here to prevent that?

He gritted his teeth when he realized who the most likely candidate for that role was. Anxiously, he watched her drawn face as she poured him a second glass. Her hand at his neck was cool and firm. Levi drank very small sips so she would keep it there longer.

“They didn’t tell me right away that they found you bleeding on the streets,” she said. “But I heard them talk about the ensuing mess and put two and two together eventually.”

Levi smiled, well, tried to, but his lips stung too much. So… maybe she hadn’t valued the lab more than him, she just hadn’t known he was back? Good.

“Are you going to tell me what happened or not?” She asked after a moment of silence during which he got lost staring at her face.

“I needed to find out who the go-to poison person is nowadays,” he explained.

“And that involved getting stabbed and beaten?”

“No,” he shook his head. “But it involved getting Annika out of prison.”

“Annika…,” Zoë’s eyes transformed into angry slits. “Don't tell me this is her doing?”

“She has temper issues,” Levi thought that summed it up well. “Your ex was there. I hope he’s going to make it.”

“My… what?”

“Treibel,” Levi explained patiently. “The idiot followed you down the stairs and happened to be the one trying to apprehend Anni. And me.”

Hanji stared at him, her face shrouded in an abundance of shadow. He felt an urge to look into her eyes, not quite remembering their color. But he did remember that they always showed exactly what she was feeling, he liked that. A lot. Especially in the Underground, honesty was priceless.

“Anni killed one of the military officers,” Levi continued to explain. “I prevented her from killing Treibel too. Then she got away after hurting Esmelda badly.”

Hanji rubbed her face with her hands, groaning.

“Treibel promised Esmelda would get proper care. She should have been taken to a hospital too, at least… I hope he kept… we need to check,” he said, suddenly feeling cold dread shoot up his spine, “what if he _didn’t_ keep his word?”

“Levi,” Hanji said darkly. “Are you fucking insane? Focus! A member of the military police was killed in front of you? Did Treibel _see you_?”

“Yeah,” he frowned. “But he doesn’t know who I am.”

“Fuck,” she moaned. “You’re pretty memorable, don’t you know?”

“Hm, no,” Levi mumbled defensively, “it was dark, there was a lot of blood and… he will not recognize me.”

“Let’s hope that’s true,” she said darkly. “It seems Renzo managed to quiet everything down - for the moment at least.”

Gah, Renzo. Just hearing her say that name made him angry. “Why the fuck did you let that slimy Renzo get his hands on you again?!”

“To get away from Xandra,” Hanji shrugged. “You weren’t there, remember? And I thought he would be reasonable, which he was: He got me all the equipment I need to analyze the antidote! Maria thought she was smart, bringing several vials, but I had already spat parts of it on a piece of cloth. I could determine by smell which concoction was the right one and now that I have a microscope and…”

She went on and on about equipment and labs and how she was trying to break down the different components. Hearing all those complicated words made Levi dizzy, but he was content enough looking at her mouth, seeing the lips move.

“... but I better go,” she said, snapping him out of his trance-like state, “it’s late and you…”

“No!”

Hanji blinked, looking puzzled at his outburst.

“Don’t… don’t go,” he felt very displeased at the thought of her walking out that door. “There is more to discuss.”

She shrugged. “More?”

“The guy’s name is Oliver.”

“That’s what I said,” she nodded.

“Er, no,” Levi frowned. “The guy who makes the poisons. His name is Oliver and he will tell you which poison they gave you and how to make the antidote.”

“Huh,” Hanji narrowed her eyes at him.

What now? Levi had expected a bit more enthusiasm for all the effort he had put into getting that name.

“Levi, did you not listen to what I just said?”

“O… of course I did,” he lied.

Hanji shook her head at him. “You like to pretend you’re so tough. In the end, you’re as human as the rest of us and need to sleep.”

Fuck. She was really going to leave.

“But we need to go threaten him!” again he pulled at the bonds that kept him down.

“Be quiet,” she chided him sharply. “If you had listened, you’d know that _he is here_.”

Huh?

“Renzo got him to help me in the lab.”

“But he’s the one…”

“I didn’t know that, Levi. But he has, indeed, been helpful,” Hanji mused. “I’m not dead yet, as you can see.”

“That lying old geezer! He has been leading you on!”

“Hahaha,” Hanji pushed some hair off her face, “what a prank! He’s getting paid handsomely by Renzo.”

“I can’t leave you alone with these people,” Levi murmured. “You’re not depraved enough to understand how they operate. Renzo fucking _knows_ that Oliver is behind this. They’re both playing you.”

“Don’t worry. I’m a fast learner,” she chuckled and patted his good arm. Not worry? Oh, but he worried. He worried more and more… and remembered something important.

“Can you… can you check whether they undressed me?” Levi asked hurriedly.

Her eyebrows went up, that was obvious even in the dim light. Okay, that had sounded a little strange.

“I stole some pretty important documents in those headquarters,” he ventured to explain, feeling heat in his cheeks. “I put them underneath my shirt, now I wonder where they are.”

“Of course they undressed you. They needed to stitch you back together,” Hanji shook her head at him. “Oh, and Renzo has asked about the necklace. Where did you put it?”

“Asshole,” Levi grumbled. “He won’t get it back for nothing.”

“He’s been pretty helpful,” Hanji sounded a little snappish. “Can’t claim the same about you.”

“Me?” Levi frowned. “What did I do?”

“Apart from nearly getting yourself sliced up and killed by your ex-girlfriend? Hm, let me see…,” she made a dramatic pause. “Only that someone seems to be after you because of some kind of experiment? And you conveniently forgot to tell me about that. Kinda makes me wonder whether you trust me at all.”

Expe… what?

“What a load of bollocks,” he protested. That sounded like one of those outlandish ghost stories that the underground cooked up about people. Thunderstruck Hans. One-Eyed Jonas. Kenny the Ripper. Levi the Experiment?

“Xandra said you're worth an astronomical sum.”

“That’s the biggest shite I’ve ever heard!”

“She claims she made your mother leave the establishment for protection. Because they were onto her. Or rather… onto her having you.”

“As I said,” Levi felt anger in his stomach, “can’t leave you alone with these people. I told you to kill her but you listened to her, and worse, believed her?!”

“It sounded convincing to me,” Hanji stubbornly moved her chin up. “What else do you think is going on?”

The usual shit, of course. People fighting and killing each other over territory and power. He had watched it happen around him all his life. A pointless, depressing struggle.

“Xandra and Renzo hate each other,” Levi said. “Both want to control the underground economy.”

“And they need you for that?”

“Well…”

“A little full of yourself, are we?”

Levi glared at her. Frankly, he hadn’t bothered thinking about the details. He had simply concluded someone had called him back out of spite: Because of the ‘nobody leaves’-rule and all that bullshit. Had he not been called a traitor several times since coming back? Of course, she was right: nobody needed him to behave stupidly. But people still didn’t leave him in peace, didn’t they? Spite. Hatred. Jealousy.

“What they told you is all nonsense,” he repeated more forcefully. “And now my head hurts because of you.”

“Yes, I’m sure it hurts. I’ll let you sleep.”

“No! Goddammit, Hanji…,” her innocent face gave him the rest. “Do I really need to _beg_ you?”

“Beg… for what?”

“To stay with me,” he pressed out. “Is that too much to ask? I thought about you all the time.”

“Oh,” she sounded surprised. Why did she sound surprised? Wasn't it clear to her that they had unfinished business? “You’re high as a kite, Levi. You have to rest more. It’s only been two days and you’re…”

“TWO DAYS?!”

“Shush, don’t shout like this, you’ll bust open the stitches.”

“Two… Hanji, if it’s been _two days_ we have to fucking hurry and…”

“I’m on it,” she said quietly. “Do you think I’ve been sitting around twiddling my thumbs? And I told you that Renzo has been hard at work to smooth things over. Not sure what he’s going to do about that lunatic girlfriend of yours but I guess that’s not our prime problem.”

Levi groaned. Two days. Two days! So much could happen in two days! “Untie me!”

She laughed. “No. Nice try though. It’s for your own protection.”

“I need to find those documents, Hanji. Did Renzo take them? We have to get them back. There was a symbol on them, something like a black cat. I didn’t have time to study them enough, but there is information in there about several noble families and their dealings with the underground, Renzo for example, and…”

“Calm down, Levi,” now, finally, finally, her hand came back to his face, brushing hair away, stroking down his temples, his cheeks. It _did_ calm him down, even if he didn’t want to calm down. Worse, his eyes wanted to close, but he kept them open forcefully, staring at her shadowy countenance. The documents… it was … important.

“You idiot,” she said quietly. “Don’t endanger yourself for me like this _ever_ again.”

“But I…”

“No talking, okay?” she kept up her soft strokes over his face. He wanted to purr. And then a strong sensation hit him out of nowhere. Disturbing in its intensity but he’d think about that later when his thoughts were less jumbled.

“Lie down with me,” he blurted out. Gods, how he needed her.

“What? No,” she frowned. “The bed is much too narrow. I will hurt you.”

“You will never hurt me,” he urged her. “I really need to feel…”

“Levi,” she chided him with a small giggle. “Whatever you’re thinking about, it’s idiotic.”

“Untie me. I want to touch you.”

She lifted the blanket to look at his bonds, tilting her head a little as she studied them.

“Just… do it!”

“Okay,” she agreed breathlessly, her eyes glued to whatever she could see of him underneath the blanket, and began working on the knots. As soon as his left arm was free, he cupped her cheek.

“I want to kiss you.”

“Levi,” she gasped, putting her hand on top of his. “We can’t.”

“Yes, we can.”

“But your face…”

He pulled her down and promptly yelped when her lips touched his. She disengaged hastily.

“Your upper lip is a horrible mess,” she sounded chagrined, “didn’t I tell you? No kissing.”

“Come here,” he patted the bed next to him.

“Levi,” she giggled again, making him very impatient. He grabbed what he could reach and pulled her down once again.

“You idiot!” she avoided falling on top of him by twisting to the side and came to a rest with her back to the wall. Good enough. Turning to the side as far as he could, he began to stroke her hair, her chin, her nose, her lips. Her face was very close to his and he smelled a bit of wine on her breath and vegetable stew.

By the Walls, how he wanted to lose himself in the scent and feel of her.

She bent forward and gently kissed the corner of his mouth where it didn’t hurt so much. His heart picked up speed. Those lips… He stroked them with his thumb until she opened them. Wet. Moist. Soft. He shuddered when she began to lick and suck his thumb, wanting that tongue and that mouth on him and his on her, a need that took shape in his head, grew, and began pulsing in his veins. With a groan, he moved the wet thumb down her throat, where her pulse beat fast like an echo of his own, over her collarbone and up the small mound of her breast.

“Levi,” her breath caught, “this isn’t a good idea.”

“Who gives a fuck,” his thumb brushed over her nipple, once, twice, feeling it stiffen underneath the rough fabric, a little peak of pleasure.

“Hmmm,” she breathed.

Eagerly, his hand fumbled for the buttons of her shirt. Which were damn hard to open with just one hand. Impatiently, he pulled at the fabric, hard - that’s how you dealt with recalcitrant buttons. His hand moved through the gap, onto her skin. It felt soft and welcoming against his calloused fingers, he thought he had hardly ever touched anything more pleasant. And that tight little breast of hers… he stroked it from all sides, took its measure. it was simply perfect. He wanted to know how good it tasted and felt in his mouth.

His nether regions tensed in anticipation. He moved closer, tried to turn… which made his right hand shoot red hot pain through him. With a grunt of pain, he shifted to the side, almost fell off the bed in the process, twisted abruptly - it was like the knife was back in his side, grating against his ribs. He yelped and gritted his teeth, which helped exactly nothing.

“Told you so!” Hanji scrambled up, looking horrified. “This can wait a bit longer.”

Oh, but she was mistaken. He very much did not want to wait.

“What if we both die tomorrow?” he said darkly.

“Then we’re dead,” she answered, resting her warm hand on his stomach, “and won’t care. Take some more painkillers, will you?”

“No,” he turned his head away, feeling frustrated.

“You’re like a little boy,” she grinned, “they’re the worst kind of patients. But I hear certain men are even worse.”

“Am not,” he grumbled. But goddamn, now that it was awakened, the pain was getting worse by the second.

“I’ll do something really nice if you take the painkillers.”

That got his attention. She must have seen the greedy expression in his eyes when he imagined that she would move her hand down from where it currently rested, because she laughed merrily. But no such thing. She just climbed over him carefully to sit on a chair again.

“This,” she smiled. “I mean this.”

And her fingers stroked his forehead, his eyebrows, his temples. It was gentle, so very gentle, and so soothing. His jumbled thoughts became even more jumbled. When she put a glass to his lips, he drank without resistance. He meant to ask her to stay with him while he slept but no words left his mouth, because the darkness claimed him fast and merciless. This time, there were no dreams.

###

It took less than five seconds for Levi to go under again. Zoë stared at the bottle in her hand, sniffed at it, then put a finger in to taste a drop of the liquid.

  
She gagged.

“Vile,” she muttered.

And strong, had to be, to knock him out like this. She looked at Levi’s tranquil face, feeling… well, she was _feeling_ \- even though she shouldn’t be. _You shall have no attachments to your fellow soldiers beyond the absolutely necessary._ The rule was so simple and made so much sense. And in their profession, when sense battled against feelings, sense had to always win, there was no other option.

“You’re an idiot,” she murmured and kissed Levi’s warm forehead. He was a little feverish, she realized. She hadn’t allowed herself to worry too much, and had been kind of glad they hadn’t told her about the state they had found him in. But now, here in this room with him, worry was threatening to overpower her. He was in so much pain. She wanted to kill Annika for hurting him like this. She also wanted to be angry with Levi for saving Treibel’s life at such a high cost. Instead, she let her lips linger on his skin, breathing in the signature Levi scent that was tinged with the smell of clotted blood today.

Slowly, she righted herself, put her clothes in order and took a deep breath.

So he didn’t know about being ‘an experiment’. If she hadn’t seen him in action out there, she might simply have dismissed Xandra’s cryptic words at this point. But because she _had_ watched him every day for months, she knew with certainty that Levi was not like other people. It had nothing to do with talent either. It was something that ran deeper, something the scientist inside of her craved to uncover.

“Get well,” she whispered, “as fast as you can, you hear me? And then we find out who ‘they’ are and send them packing. We cannot allow anyone to hunt you. Humanity needs you. I…,” she took a deep breath, steeled herself. “ _We_ , the Survey Corps, need you.”

Levi sighed as she turned away, but he didn’t wake up as she went to the door on tiptoes and stepped outside.

“And?” The dark form of a man pushed himself off the wall and stepped into the light impatiently.

“Nothing,” Zoë shrugged, quickly closing the door behind her. She was exhausted. But she couldn’t let down her guard with this one, not for a second.

“Come on. I heard you talk.”

“You drugged him senseless, idiots. Logically, it was predominantly gibberish.”

“I don’t believe you.” Renzo narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Zoë became all too aware of a missing button and a gaping hole in her shirt but refrained from tucking at it.

“Well, he knows nothing,” she frowned, “I think Xandra is full of shit.”

“That she is,” Renzo chuckled. “But this tale doesn’t sound like she made it up. It sounds like something that explains a lot of strange things.”

She hated that she agreed. But she hated other things more. “Do you know it was Annika who went berserk?”

Renzo nodded. “Are we changing the topic? As if I’d forget why I let you see him in the first place.”

“We’re done discussing that. Levi knows nothing and we’re as smart as we were before. But _she … she_ killed a military officer.”

“Depends on whom you ask.”

“Is Treibel alive?”

“Treibel?”

“That’s the guy she _didn’t_ manage to kill.”

“Yes, he is.” Renzo nodded. “You know him? That is interesting.”

“Not really,” Zoë pressed her lips together angrily. “He saw everything.”

“No. He saw nothing.”

Zoë stared into the calculating blue eyes, wondering what it was that had bought Teddy’s silence. Money? Blackmail? Levi was right. She wasn't equipped to deal with these people and their quicksand schemes.

“And the girl?”

“What girl?”

“There was a girl there, too. She was hurt because of Annika.”

Renzo shrugged like he didn’t care in the least.

“Find out for me,” Zoë commanded. “Her name is Esmelda and Treibel promised she’d get medical care.”

“An underground girl in an upstairs hospital? Then she has no name anymore, I’m sure you know that. If she survives, a rich sponsor can do with her whatever he wants.”

“Let them try,” Zoë hissed, “I’ll not allow it.”

“You’re a fierce one, I like that,” Renzo chuckled, “I see a lot of your father in you.”

Her… _father_? Zoë suddenly felt cold.

Renzo tilted his head to the side to study her reaction. “I talked to him earlier today. He’s not pleased about your recent adventures.”

Was her father _here_? In the underground? Because… because of her? She balled her hands into tight fists to stop them from trembling.

“Don’t worry. I bought you time,” Renzo said, “but I do nothing for free, it will cost you. And him.” He pointed his chin to the door behind which Levi slept. “He still is in my debt, now more than ever. My conditions have changed. The gamble went awry, no problem. But he owes me that fight, and now also a kill - and then we’re even.”

“Kill… kill whom?”

“Like I’m telling you, you fierce kitten,” Renzo looked much too smug for her liking, obviously pleased about some other scheme of his.

“I know that Oliver guy is the one who makes the poisons down here. Why did you get him to help me? To keep me here with you?”

“So it wasn’t all gibberish after all,” Renzo grinned. “Levi caught on! Yes, it’s true: Oliver is Mr. Poison. Nothing sinister about me paying him to help you. I just haven’t seen anything as charming as you getting all excited over a microscope and there are so few pleasurable things in my life.”

“Fuck you. I don’t need this condescending shit.”

“You don’t? Hmmm…,” Renzo tapped a finger against his lip. “You’re free to leave anytime you get sick of me.”

“Then you can say your goodbyes right now,” she huffed and wanted to brush past him.

“Not so fast,” he said, catching her arm. There was considerable strength in those long, artistic fingers. “If it turns out Levi isn’t worth as much as Xandra claimed, I will be more than happy to let him die. My brother’s debt isn’t worth that much to me after all.”

“Levi isn’t dying.”

“He will be as soon as Annika gets through the perimeter I put up. I doubt he can defend himself with all the drugs in his system. You know, she hates being denied things. Just like me.”

“Let her come,” Zoë exclaimed, “it will be my pleasure to fucking kill that menace.”

Renzo laughed. “I knew you didn’t want to leave just yet! Ah, a shame you weren't born as one of us. You’d have made the perfect wife for me.”

Zoë made a gagging noise.

“Don’t worry,” Renzo grinned, “Upstairs flesh doesn’t survive long enough down here. I don’t want another woman dying on me too soon.”

A tragic backstory? No thank you. “Are you trying to get my pity?”

He shrugged. “That works on many women. But no: I want your cooperation. I want to know what Xandra knows about Levi. And I want to know what is in those documents she claims she has.”

“Levi said he had some documents on him?” She confronted Renzo, remembering Levi’s urgency. “Did you take them?”

“Documents?”

“Yes, documents.”

“What kind of documents?”

Zoë shrugged. “From the MP headquarters. Sounded similar to those documents Xandra spoke about. Levi said there was something like a black cat emblem on them?”

Renzo froze, even if just for a second. Then, his eyes became hard and dangerous. “ _That’s_ the kind of information I sent you in there to get. I don’t have the documents. But I guess I know who took them.”

Who?

“Get some sleep,” Renzo said over his shoulder as he hurried away, “your face is beginning to scare me. And close that blouse, for crying out loud. It’s unfair to tempt men like this.”

Zoë’s hands flew to the gap in her shirt and he laughed, already disappearing into the shadows at the end of the corridor. She really needed sleep, Zoë thought. But first… there was something else she needed to take care of. With a last glance at Levi’s door, she hurried down the corridor in the opposite direction of where Renzo had gone.

Maria scrambled up from the bed at the sound of the key in the lock.

“What are you doing here?” she grumbled at Zoë, who poked her head in. “And how did you get in?”

“I made key duplicates,” Zoë beamed.

“What do you want?” Maria crossed her arms in front of her breasts, looking belligerent. And dishevelled. And heartbreakingly young.

“To free you,” Zoë said and made an inviting gesture towards the empty corridor.

“What’s in it for you?”

Ah, but Zoë was beginning to get sick of this mentality. Nothing for free, always an ulterior motive. It was very tiring.

“You people,” she sighed. “I want nothing from you. Tell Xandra that I have the antidote and she has no power over me anymore. Also tell her that Renzo has Levi and means to test his real value.”

“The fight?”

“What fight?”

“The fight with Levi three nights from now. The posters are all over town.”

Three…? Zoë suddenly felt sick. Maria observed her with a puzzled expression, then shrugged.

“Fine, I’m off. Happy to never see you again.”

She even poked her tongue out at Zoë as she hurried out the door.

“Wait!” Zoë managed to press out.

Maria looked back. Zoë’s legs were shaking so much she needed to sit down. Renzo meant to send Levi into the ring three days from now? He’d be massacred in this state.

“I need a favor after all,” she informed the girl.

Maria nodded.

“I need you to get something at our headquarters upstairs. Quickly.”

Maria gnawed her lip. “Okay. It can be done. What is it?”

After Zoë had given her instructions and Maria had disappeared, she just said there with no strength left. She even considered lying down on Maria’s bed to get some sleep, or go back to Levi’s room and sleep on the floor. But she noticed the bitter taste in her mouth that became stronger. Great. She needed another dose of the antidote soon. In the middle of the night. An antidote she hadn’t figured out yet, despite what she had told Maria.

“Up, Zoë!” she commanded herself. “We have work to do.”

There was always some strength left in a body if you just pushed hard enough.

“Don’t you worry, I’ve got this,” she murmured as she passed Levi’s door. For a brief moment, she was tempted to go inside and kiss him again - but that was a silly girl’s notion. She couldn’t allow herself to be that.


	18. No Sleep for the Wicked

Forcing one foot in front of the other on legs shaking from fatigue, Zoë soon reached the floor where her new lab was located. When she rounded the last corner a little lost in thought, she almost bumped into Renzo... who was squeezing the life out of Oliver with his hands tightly clasped around the old man’s throat. The weirdest thing about the rather unexpected scene wasn’t the old man’s tongue hanging out, his eyes that showed only white nor his arms and legs that twitched feebly. No… it was the utter silence of this violent act and the focused concentration of the one committing it.

“Holy fuck,” Zoë exclaimed and slammed her fist into Renzo’s face. Hard.

Renzo went down like all tall people do when suddenly deprived of balance and wits: ungracefully. Oliver, not tall, but stout, didn’t fare much better. Collapsing when Renzo’s grip around his throat slackened, he soon sprawled on the floor next to his assailant, weakly clutching his throat, gasping for air, and sobbing.

“Holy fuck,” Zoë repeated in bafflement, “what is wrong with you people?”

Clearly, both men were currently unable to give her an answer. After considering her options - walk away? Kick them for good measure? Wait for Renzo to regain consciousness so she could hit him again? - she grabbed the elderly man’s arms and hauled him upright. Her back protested with a series of loud cracks. Holy shit, she wanted to lie down. After a hot bath. And sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

“I kinda don’t want you to die yet,” she told the old man. Dragging him along with an arm slung around his middle, she entered the lab space and dropped him on a chair.

“Light, we need light,” she murmured, searching for matches to ignite the oil lamps.

Oliver was still crying when she looked at him once more, with snot coming out of his nose and dribbling down his face, but at least his breathing was slowly returning back to normal. Clearly, nothing vital like a windpipe was crushed. He would live a while longer.

“What was that about?” she asked, absentmindedly shuffling through her notes on the work desk. How long until she could work this out? A few hours? Days? How long ago had she and Levi come down here? It felt like time held no real meaning anymore. And yet… if they were not back on time, and Erwin and the others returned, things could get nasty.

“Documents,” Oliver wheezed, drying his eyes and noisily cleaning his nose on his sleeve.

Zoë lifted her eyebrows at him. His white hair was standing on end in all directions. He looked like a crazed chicken as a result.

“Levi had them tucked into his trousers,” Oliver explained. “They fell out when I cut open his shirt.”

“Huh. You are also a doctor?”

“The best down here,” Oliver said proudly, straightening his spine. “I stitched him together carefully so our little firecracker wouldn’t get an ugly scar. It’s not the first time he ends up on my table, y’know. He doesn’t know how to be careful, ever since he was a little boy.”

Zoë tried to imagine Levi as a little boy. Awwww, probably super cute. Meanwhile, Oliver continued to reminisce and to heap self-praise upon himself: “... the amount of times I put bandages on his scraped knees! Always with such precision! I did not need any practice. You wouldn’t believe how good…”

Enough. “And where are they now, these documents?”

“Here,” Oliver patted his round belly. Zoë guessed he had not eaten them but meant to say that he was carrying them on his person. So he had figured out their worth too?

“You should have given them to Renzo instead of provoking him to violence,” Zoë suggested.

“He needs to learn how to ask people politely,” Oliver murmured. His hand went inside his jerkin and came back out holding a bundle of documents. They were crumpled, ripped and dark from dried blood.

Curious, Zoë came around the desk to have a look at them. She squinted at each sheet but they were almost completely illegible.

“Definitely not worth dying for,” she gave the documents back to Oliver. “They’re destroyed.”

“Hmhmhm,” the old man said in what sounded somehow like he disagreed with that assessment. “The row wasn’t only about the documents.”

“No? Let me guess. Was it about you knowing a lot more about poisons than you admitted to me?”

“Hmhmrgpf, no,” the old man mumbled and colored ever so lightly. “But about that…”

“Yes?” Zoë looked at him expectantly. “Out with it. What are you people playing at? I get that it must be a lot of fun to dupe someone from upstairs. And I guess I’d be laughing with you if I didn’t feel like shit right now. I’m getting increasingly nauseous and let me tell you, it’s not enjoyable.”

“I know who you are,” Oliver said, looking her in the eyes for the first time since she’d saved him. His were watery blue and cunning, even after the shock he had experienced mere minutes before.

“And…?”

“I wanted to make sure to get everything I could out of your family.”

“I don’t get it,” Zoë shook her head in frustration because really? Her heritage shouldn’t matter this much, not after all these years of living in peace. “You poison me, then lie to me about the antidote and that will get you more money? I don’t understand. Just let me go back to killing Titans. At least they only do one, simple thing: eat us.”

“It’s not really an antidote you’ve been taking,” Oliver chuckled. “Or have you ever heard of a poison that requires so many doses over so many days?”

Uhm, what?

“Each dose cures you a little and makes it worse again at the same time,” Oliver explained eagerly. “It’s quite genius.” Clearly, he was talking about himself, the mastermind behind all this. “Providing you with the antidote for the rest of your life would have been such a lucrative business.”

Zoë sat down on her chair and groaned miserably. Great. Way to make her feel utterly stupid! Levi was right: She wasn’t clever enough for the games these people liked to play.

“But I owe you my life now,” Oliver said, “so I will help you get the real antidote to pay my debt. Then we’re even.”

“Hahaha,” Zoë laughed mirthlessly, “and why should I trust you this time?”

“We hate debts in the underground. Like nothing else,” Oliver said, like that explained everything.

“Give me those documents,” Zoë held out her hand. “I’ll give them back to Levi.”

Oliver frowned.

“I can also just take them back by force,” Zoë smiled toothily. “I’m not really a nice person. Especially not after being humiliated like this.”

Oliver swallowed, then pulled out the sullied documents, looking at them with ominous eyes. “You don’t know what this is.”

“Correct,” Zoë snatched them from his hand and put them down her blouse. “But I will find out.”

She’d just have to find a way to extract the blood from the paper without also extracting the ink. Easy peasy. Or not. Hmmm… her brain began running through things to try. No risk, no gain. Illegible, destroyed by chemicals… not much a difference.

“And now the antidote?” she pointed at the many tin cans full of ingredients that Renzo had put in here. Hopefully not only for show?

“Right,” Oliver nodded and cleaned his face again with his much-used sleeve. “It’s not hard. One measure wormwood, one measure feverfew, half a measure goldenseal…”

Zoë sprang into action, measuring and mixing as instructed. Then boiling, cooling, filtering. The final concoction looked abhorrent, a kind of brown that she had seen in the toilet before, but did she want to be picky? With a questioning look, she lifted the glass to her lips, seeing only pure innocence on Oliver’s round face. With an inward shrug, she tilted it and…

… the door slammed against the wall, almost having her drop the glass.

“At least make him taste it, you dummy!” Levi snarled.

Oliver lost all color at the sight of him. Possible that her face didn’t fare much better, Zoë thought, because her mouth had certainly sprung open. She closed it.

“... and next time, don’t let a dangerous man lie around in front of your door,” Levi added, throwing Renzo’s body into the lab like he weighed nothing. His hands were bound and he was gagged, Zoë noticed - and judging by the fast growing goose egg on his head, Levi had made sure he stayed unconscious a while longer.

“You little show-off,” Zoë uttered very quietly, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Levi was out of bed! He was walking! He looked terribly pale but whatever! He had also found a shirt to wear, which was several sizes too big and made him look like a child who was playing dress-up with his parents’ clothes.

“Hi, Grandpa Ollie,” Levi addressed Oliver. “Fancy meeting you here. So you’ve turned your apothecary skills to better use, I hear?”

“L… Levi,” Oliver gulped, “I am surprised to see you out of bed so soon.”

Levi nodded, his eyes blazing. “Ah, I guess you didn’t know that my body rejects drugs pretty efficiently. Dose 1: lots of effect. Dose 2: less effect. Dose 3: hardly any effect.”

“Really?” Zoë took a step closer eagerly. “Can I do experiments with you?”

“Er, no?” Levi frowned at her. “But I’m glad you were smart enough not to bind me again.”

Zoë blinked.

“I see. At least you _forgot_ to bind me again so that I could make it just in time. You!” he pointed at Ollie. “Drink that stuff. We will watch you for a few minutes afterwards before she drinks it.”

“Al… alright,” Ollie squealed, grabbed the glass from Zoë’s hand and took a generous sip. “See?” he handed the glass back, drying his mouth with the back of his hand. “See? It’s safe!”

“Sit,” Levi growled and stepped closer menacingly so that Oliver let himself fall back onto his chair.

“That stuff Maria gave me?” Zoë told Levi, very relieved that she could share her recent humiliation with someone who was on her side, “it wasn’t a proper antidote.”

“Are you surprised?” Levi asked.

“I shouldn’t be, huh?” Zoë stepped closer to him. His eyes met hers briefly before they swiveled back to the quivering Oliver. She couldn’t read him. Was he still in pain? He had to be. His cut lip was swollen and he held himself stiffly.

“You look guilty,” Levi observed, peering into Oliver’s face.

“Probably because he stole the documents,” Zoë fished them out from underneath her blouse.

Levi took one look at them, then shrugged. “Throw them away.”

“Nope,” Zoë shook her head and put them back where they had come from. How romantic. Carrying something drenched with Levi’s blood close to her heart…

“Do you know who has an emblem that looks a bit like a black cat but isn’t quite a black cat?” Levi asked Oliver, whose eyes just got larger and more frightened - though they did not quite lose their cunning sheen.

“There are rumors…”

“Excellent,” Levi smirked. “Rumors are a good start. Tell me.”

“A new type of influence, they have their fingers everywhere.”

“‘They’.”

“Yes,” Oliver’s eyes took on a haunted look.

“And ‘they’ do what exactly…?”

“Threaten people.”

“That’s common,” Levi poked his boot into Renzo’s rips, “if you want to make it down here.”

“They’re not from down here.”

“I see,” Levi’s face didn’t give away what was going on in his head.

“Kenny talks to them.”

At the mention of that name, Levi swore loudly. Now it was obvious what went on in his head: he hated the person who had just been mentioned, with all he had.

“Who’s that?” Zoë wanted to know, her curiosity piqued.

“Nobody,” Levi hissed - “his foster father and mentor,” Ollie said at the same time.

Levi hit him over the head so hard, Oliver passed out and fell off the chair.

“Hey,” Zoë frowned at Levi. So it was that bad? “Was that necessary? He’s old. And now we can’t be sure about the antidote and I must tell you, I feel like _shit_.”

“Take it,” Levi growled, “I bet it’s safe.”

“You bet?” Zoë huffed, “great, what if you’re wrong?”

“Isn’t betting about risks?” Levi asked, clearly in as foul a mood as was humanly possible.

“Oh, we’re really betting?” Zoë felt suddenly quite excited. “Okay! You bet it’s safe… I bet it’s not. What is the wager? Oh! I know. If I win, you tell me about your youth. If you win, I… hmmm.”

Levi just stared at her as if she’d gone mad. Which probably she had, now that she thought about it.

“That doesn’t make much sense, does it,” she grinned and downed the liquid.

It was so gross she had to fight hard to keep it down. Levi watched her struggle for a bit, then marched over to a shelf and returned with a bottle.

“Take this,” he said.

Desperate, she drank deeply - liquid fire went down her throat. “Fuck!” she screamed because it hurt… but the nausea was gone almost instantly and her head felt much clearer than minutes before, even though her throat continued to burn like it was raw and bleeding.

“What is…?” She looked down at the bottle. Alcohol. 80% strong. “You fucking moron,” she yelled at Levi, “you can’t drink alcohol this strong!”

He shrugged. “You just did. You look better. Is this crisis over?”

“No,” she seethed, “no, it’s definitely not. What _the fuck_ are you doing here out of bed?”

“Saving you,” he answered - and then his destroyed lips quivered and a grin spread on his face. Zoë felt a rush of something strange at the sight, something that made her stagger forward and throw her arms around him.

“Goddamit, Levi,” she said, breathing in the Levi scent from his hair, suddenly feeling like she had to… had to fucking cry. Oh god, this was embarrassing.

“Ouch,” he complained and she quickly let go, she had pressed his poor body to hers much too violently, and turned around to wipe the treacherous moisture from her eyes. She had been so goddamn worried all this time and now, now she felt like… felt like they had time to breathe, take a brief rest.

“Can we leave?” she asked over her shoulder.

“Back up to our headquarters?” he asked. The only sensible thing really, but no, she would not ask that of him. Clearly, whatever it was that needed to be done down here, it was by far not over.

“No,” she said, “no, I just meant… leave here. This house. I’m sick of Renzo being a pain in my ass and I have no particular wish of seeing those women again either.”

He thought about her proposition for a moment. “All the hiding places I know are filthy though. And in parts of town I’d rather not have you...”

“I want to return to the hotel,” she interrupted him. A bath. She wanted a fucking bath. How he’d laugh at her if she told him!

“Where everyone can find us?” he frowned. “Hm.”

“That room is defendable, is it not? Only those narrow stairs. Besides, Maria is bringing the leaves from my lab there. You know that you are meant to fight someone for Renzo in three days? I thought I’d have to wheel you there in a pushcart.”

Levi shrugged and didn’t seem surprised by the information. “Three days? I’ll be fine.”

She made a circling motion with her index finger at her ear. “You insane?”

“Want to bet?” he teased.

“Never!”

“I bet you the stakes will be high,” he said, sounding pleased with himself. “And it will be crowded.”

“Renzo wants you to kill someone. To erase your debt to him.”

Levi looked at the crime boss at their feet. “Did he say whom?”

Zoë shook her head. “Anyway, I want you to take those leaves.”

“Leaves…?”

“I found them outside the walls a few months ago. They have a great effect on the body if you chew them. It will ensure you won’t feel any pain.”

“A sure way to kill me,” Levi murmured and then shrugged again. “But I’ll take your leaves if you wish me to.”

“Great!” Zoë got excited again. “We will test them as soon as…”

“Hm, probably not a good idea,” Levi said, bending down to Oliver to lean his back against the wall. “You heard what I said before. Tea is the only plant I know that hasn’t lost its effects on me after taking it for a while.”

Oh, right. The first dose had a strong effect, the second dose only medium, the third no effect or something like it.

“But what if… what if I’m wrong about their usefulness?”

“Well,” Levi hauled Oliver up by the arms, “that would be too bad.”

“Levi…”

“Don’t fret, Hanji. It takes more than a few leaves to kill me. Let’s go. We’ll take Oliver with us. For his own ‘protection’.”

He kicked Renzo’s lifeless body on the way out, which made Zoë giggle, and then walked out and down the corridor like it was the most normal thing in the world. Zoë hurried up so that she could help him carry Oliver.

“Thanks,” she beamed at Levi.

“What for?” he grumbled.

“Everything,” she said.

###

Hanji looked like death warmed over. Levi had one goal and that was getting her into a bed and then to guard her sleep. Going to their hotel was so stupid and daring that he actually thought it could work - be bold and be well, a saying in the underground went. There was one big obstacle though and that was Annika - whom he expected to lay in wait for him somewhere so she could strike as soon as she saw him leave Renzo’s protection.

He knew that she would most likely be working alone - or at maximum, had hired eyes on the streets. But with her reputation, and the recent troubles she had caused, it wouldn’t be easy to find people who’d work for her. Hence, she would have to decide where to strategically place her spies. The best place was always on the roofs.

So he would simply go underground.

“The old sewage system,” he explained at Zoë’s questioning look when they stepped into a back alley, and pulled up a gully cover with his unbound left hand.

“Oh,” she frowned, peering down into the stinky darkness. “We forgot to bring a light.”

“I don’t need any light,” he said and jumped.

Mistake.

The impact hurt like shit and he had to grit his teeth for what felt an eternity until the pain in his knee and his side was bearable again.

“Drop him,” he told Zoë above. “Then climb in yourself - there're hands and footholds in the wall. Close the cover after you.”

Zoë did as told without questioning him, but he didn’t quite manage to catch Oliver as he had planned to. Oh well, he thought, looking at the figure sprawling in the muck, served the old geezer right for mixing poisons that had hurt Hanji. Above him, the light dimmed and then disappeared, as Hanji pulled the cover back into its position.

“Fuck, it’s dark,” she murmured. He heard her coming down the ladder carefully.

“I’m here,” he said once she was at ground level - and grunted when her fumbling fingers brushed a sore spot.

“Sorry,” she murmured. She bent down, obviously to locate Oliver’s body. “How do we do this?”

“We take him between us again,” Levi explained, “you will just let yourself be guided by me. I know my way around here.”

“Right,” she said and he felt her breath against his face as she righted herself again. “Levi…”

“What?” he grumbled.

“I’d have preferred to be alone with you, at the hotel,” she breathed, her fingers seeking his face and when they hand found it, stroking his cheek slowly. “I…”

He heard her swallow and by impulse, put his good hand on top of hers. It was so warm against his face, so tender. Turning his head, he put a soft kiss against her palm.

“Shit,” she said breathlessly. “We could just leave him here.”

They could. His heart was beating too fast and his legs, not steady to begin with, felt shaky and weak. They could, but they shouldn’t. He closed his eyes, glad she couldn’t see his face. He wanted to put more kisses on her, in many other places. But they shouldn’t. They couldn’t. They both knew it. He let go of her hand and took a step back.

“No, it’s better this way,” he said, though it felt all wrong. He had been a little addle-headed when she had come to his sickbed, but that didn’t change the fact that he wanted her - quite a lot. But nothing good would come from sleeping with a comrade, even if it was something he had thought about too many times after their little lapse at the brothel.

“I know that,” she said with a sad sigh. “Let’s go.”

They lifted Oliver from the cold, wet floor, slinging his arms around their shoulders, beginning to shamble forward. Levi knew the sewage system like the back of his hand and it took him no great effort to remember which junctions to take into more elevated tunnels with little water. Still, they were going slowly and apart from the pain that got stronger again, her unusual silence weighed on him. At the very least, he wanted her friendship. He didn’t want uncomfortable silence, nor bruised feelings.

“Hanji,” he therefore said.

“Hm?” came her voice from the right.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Everything.”

“I see,” she said curtly. And that was that for a long while during which Levi got increasingly anxious. He had encouraged her at the brothel. He had groped her at Renzo’s. And now he was pretending it had meant nothing to him? That was the kind of behavior he abhorred when he came across it in one of those strange books everybody seemed to like to read.

“Hanji,” he began again after mustering up enough courage.

“Are we there soon?” she said darkly. “I hate the dark.”

Oh. He hadn’t realized.

“It’s not much further,” he assured her. “I’m sorry for not bringing a light.”

“It’s alright,” she exhaled. “I’m just tired.”

“Not much further,” he repeated, “then you can sleep.”

“The first thing I’ll do is take a bath,” she sighed.

“You will?”

“Yeah, surprise. Even I want to bathe sometimes,” she said and he thought he heard a faint smile in her voice.

_Can I bath with you?_ the question burned on the tip of his tongue, but no, of course he couldn’t. One of them had to watch Oliver and the stairs that led to their room. They would not have a lot of time alone before either Reno, Annika or Xandra’s people would hunt them down.

“You must be hungry,” he changed the topic. Thinking about her eating was safer than thinking about her bathing. Because she was a messy, loud eater. Totally disgusting. Sometimes. When she didn’t draw his eyes because she was fascinating him.

“I guess,” she answered. “Are you?”

He wasn’t, but he claimed he was because he assumed that was what she wanted to hear. Getting food near the hotel should be easy, he thought, even at this time of night - there were many taverns that catered to pleasure seekers and were open around the clock.

“We go up here,” he decided, stopping at a gully that would take them near a lively street. “I’ll try to get Oliver to wake up so we won’t have to haul him up.”

The old man had begun to stir feebly a while ago, but he was either too afraid to admit he was awake or too lazy and preferred to be dragged around like this. A few light slaps across both cheeks remedied it.

“Where are we!” he squealed into the dark. “Am I blind?”

“You’re coming with us,” Levi explained, “and you will behave, for your own good. Renzo won’t look kindly upon your treason and neither will Xandra. You are safe with me.”

Oliver whined and begged and annoyed Levi, but shut his mouth when he kicked him in the shin, and climbed up obediently enough when given instructions.

Levi managed to buy a nice loaf of bread, cheese and wine, all decent quality. They got to the hotel undisturbed. Though he noticed the furtive glances their little party drew, they were in the best part of the underground here, with few criminals drawing attention to themselves openly. There was a different, much younger man at the front desk, but his eyebrows shot up precariously when they entered and it was obvious that he recognized Oliver or Levi, if not both, and he wordlessly grabbed the right key behind him on the wooden board. It seemed that someone had made the connection between the small man with a horrible disguise and the small man who had sent the underground into a frenzy by his return.

“Thank you for holding our room in our absence,” Levi said. How long had the room been vacant? Three nights? More? Dammit, it was always hard to know what time or day it was in the underground city.

“No problem, sir. It’s an honor, sir,” the man said with a series of small bows.

“We want to book the bathing facility,” Levi informed him.

“Certainly, sir,” the man nodded. “For as long as you want. The next customer booked it for 9 in the morning.”

“Levi, what time is it?” Zoë whispered into his ear.

“Feels like 5am,” he whispered back.

“Fuck,” Zoë exclaimed. “Four hours in a hot bath! I can’t wait!”

She immediately went for the bathroom while Levi took Oliver into the small room on top of the stairs.

“Sit,” he ordered Oliver, pointing at the bedpost.

“What are you planning to do with me?” the old man asked tearily.

“Bind you. Gag you if I have to. Are you hungry?”

Levi gave his prisoner a third of what he had bought, meanwhile taking off his boots, brushing down his pants and sitting down on the bed.

“Her father is down here,” Oliver informed him, his mouth full of bread and cheese.

Great.

“He brought his house guards,” Oliver continued.

Levi didn’t remember hearing anything about the Hange house guards before. But Oliver was eager to gossip.

“They’re all ex-military.”

Retired military police? That could get uncomfortable, depending on the size of the party. Levi filed the information away under ‘bother about this later’ and went about binding the reluctant grandpa to the bed.

“Shut up,” Levi barked at the old man when his exclamations began to get on his nerves. When he didn’t comply, he gagged him with a pillow case.

Thankfully, Hanji didn’t take four hours in the bath. She came into the room not half an hour later, smelling like flowers, her damp her forming cute ringlets at the front.

“I’m done,” she said and let herself fall onto the bed next to him.

“You must eat something,” Levi gulped, shooting up and bringing over the provisions.

They ate in silence, his eyes returning to her face frequently. It was unreadable, as were her eyes. She seemed absentminded, maybe a little sad. And tired. Of course. Much too tired.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” he finally stammered, unnerved by her silence once again.

“Hm?” she looked up. “Oh. You mean the poison. Yeah, I guess that’s the end of that unpleasant experience.”

“Hanji, you should leave with your father,” Levi said gravely.

“Who said that… Oliver?” Zoë sighed. “I would have told you too. Tomorrow.”

“Never mind,” Levi shook his head. He wasn’t angry that she hadn’t said anything even though she had obviously known. “I just want you to be safe. Leave with him. He’s influential enough to prevent any court marshals from getting near you.”

“No, Levi,” Zoë interrupted him. “My father will do something bad to hurt me. He hates me. I’m the biggest disappointment in his life.”

“Nevertheless…”

“Shut up,” she hit the bed with her fist.

He shut up.

“Just be fucking quiet,” she hissed. “Stop it with your apologies for not protecting me enough. You _do not need to protect me_ , get it? I want to protect myself. You do not really believe me capable of leaving you here with this fucking mess you’re in? Don’t insult me!”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“I said to be quiet,” she hit the bed again. “We’re going to find out who these people are who are creating a mess. And _then_ we’ll leave. After neutralizing them. Get it?”

By the Walls, she was so beautiful at this moment, worked up, her face a little reddened, her eyes blazing and her chest heaving.

“I told you I can’t help it,” he grumbled. He got attached. He wanted to protect. He wanted… he wanted… “Fuck, Hanji. You sleep on the bed. Now. I’ll guard the door.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” her voice softened. “You need to sleep too, you know that you look as pale as a ghost? I’ll stay here,” she patted one side of the bed. “And you stay there,” she pointed to the other side.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he said just as softly, his good hand coming up to pull softly at a lock of her hair. “But I cannot. Let me take the first watch. You can take the second.”

“Just a few minutes. It would comfort me, you understand?”

Her lips quivered, briefly, before she clamped them shut tightly. Beautiful and brave. And she would laugh at him if he ever called her beautiful to her face. So he just called her that in his head. Much too beautiful.

“Okay,” he agreed.

She put her head down with a sigh. Levi tucked her in, lingering a little longer than he had to, looking down at her face and the eyes that were drifting shut. Then, he went to the other side of the bed after checking Oliver’s bonds - the old man had his eyes closed and pretended to sleep - and very gingerly lowered himself.

Hanji’s hand wandered over the covers and found his. Good. His heart was beating so fast now that falling asleep was entirely impossible.


	19. That Itch Again...

Zoë’s childhood was entirely without warmth. Her father was busy being an important advisor to the King and hardly ever at home, her mother, holed up exclusively at home, was busy being melancholic one day and hysterical the next. Her brothers did not acknowledge their sister’s existence until she began to hide their magnificent wooden toys - horses, guns, swords and knives - and they had to chase her around the house to get them back.

At the mercy of her governess' sadistic whims from the age of two, Zoë learned everything about how a girl from a noble family had to sit, speak, eat, move, behave and nothing about the things that really interested her - like why it was sunny on some days and raining on others, why objects fell to the floor when you dropped them and why silver spoons turned black when you ate a soft-boiled egg.

The first time she ran away, she was five years old. She packed a bag with underwear, pajamas, a toothbrush, a few coins and cake, and sneaked out of the huge Hange mansion that occupied the entire side of the biggest square near the royal palace. Her plan was to head towards the gate to the outer city because she had overheard two maids discuss a fair they had gone to - it sounded like a dream to her, stalls where one could buy cotton candy, sweet dough on sticks, and all kinds of toys that were not dolls! Since she had only ever seen Mitras from the window of a carriage, she got lost not ten minutes after leaving the house through a servants’ entrance. Instead of being frightened, however, she felt so excited she wanted to sing and shout and punch the air. The houses were so big! The streets so busy! This! This must be what freedom felt like!

Sadly, they apprehended her after way too short a time. A lone girl in a frilly pink frock with silk slippers gaping at everything drew attention. The Military Police patrol that stopped her quickly found out which family she belonged to because lying wasn’t her thing. Years after, Zoë still remembered the strangely pleasing scent of the man who had carried her back to her house: leather, tobacco and horses. The scent of adventure.

Gradually, she got better at running away, with more time spent on the streets each time. She also learned to disguise herself as a boy: in contrast to girls, they got away with so much! She even cut her hair off once - her partner in crime was one of the stable boys who had put the clippers to her head with almost religious zeal. She didn’t ever confide in a servant again after that though, because her father had him flogged in front of her. The boy’s screams of pain haunted her sleep for weeks. She learnt that there were other ways to get the clothes she needed – sewing them in secret at night, for example. Every time she fled the oppression of her life, she got closer and closer to the gate – until one day, she managed to slip through. A full four days of living on the streets, of sleeping under bridges, of running with the street urchins. Four glorious days during which nobody told her to sit straight, to eat slower, to smile prettily because men liked docile women.

The official tale was that it was the crossdressing that made her father publicly disown her, but the truth was, he snapped after she spent the night with a random man who was kind to her. A man who smelled of leather and horses, who treated her like a person, a _real_ person – not a piece of flesh that came with a dowry and ensured political connections. He was a nobody, a commoner – tall, muscular, with a killer smile. A little drunk, a little reckless, but also more gentle than she had imagined men could be. Lying in his arms was warm… so incredibly warm and comfortable, even if it lasted just one night.

With every lover that Zoë accepted into her bed afterwards, she always chased the same feeling. The warmth, the comfort, the feeling of being protected. And not least to be accepted for who she was – a person, not a thing. Naturally, there were many, many disappointments – because however little she expected, it was still too much for most. But she was eternally curious and learned very fast to call disappointments ‘an experience’. She began to fill her need for warmth and comforts not with unsatisfactory lovers but with friends. She had never before in her life had any - but in the Corps, she found many. They became her family.

And now, there was Levi. Almost like a scientific conundrum, he intrigued her on an instinctive level. He was not quite like other men. He was more stubborn than the rest, more cynical, stronger, faster, smarter, more ruthless. He was a loner, someone who didn’t easily connect with people. He was private, not at all interested in sharing anything about himself. He was from a place she had not even begun to understand. Growing up without parents on the streets, a survivor, a reluctant leader. He was a challenge, through and through.

But now, he was also a man who was lying on the bed next to her, his hand in hers. And quite unexpectedly, he promised some of the warmth and comfort she would never cease to chase.

Zoë was so incredibly tired… but her heart beat with a frantic rhythm that made it impossible to fall asleep. Should she move closer? She wanted to, very much. But he was wounded, only recently stitched together, even just touching him like this was not a good idea. He was talented as fuck, but how would he fight in the ring with a hand that was broken? And yes, they both knew that getting involved with a fellow soldier was risky. It had been a close call with Mike, she recalled. She had broken it off before it had gotten to an emotionally difficult level.

She wasn’t quite sure she would be this in control with Levi.

Slowly, she turned her head to look at him - and found him looking at her. His grey eyes were thoughtful, cautious. He blinked when her eyes met his and his pale cheeks colored, like he had not expected to be caught staring.

“Levi…,” she whispered and pressed his hand.

“Why are you not sleeping?” he asked - and moved a fraction closer.

“I can’t sleep,” she whispered back. Breathing became a little more difficult.

“Should I take up the watch outside?” he frowned.

Well. ‘Yes’ would have been the sensible answer and he knew it - because what good was it if he was here on the bed with her if someone creeped up the stairs without them realizing? But Zoë shook her head and moved a fraction closer still.

“Can you… can you hold me?” she whispered, a sudden need shooting through her.

“Hold you,” he echoed, his eyes still wary, alarmed, even.

“I need…,” awkwardness threatened to overpower her. “I feel like… kind of… I was… it wasn’t exactly easy, y’know?”

“Yes, I can hold you,” he said quietly. “How would you like me to do it?”

“So it won’t hurt you,” she answered.

He moved over to her side of the bed. Zoë breathed in deeply. Leather and horses were one thing - Levi’s scent another. It made her head swim and her vision blur. Gently, he wedged his left arm underneath her head. She forgot to breathe. She could choose to face him. But if she did that… quickly, she turned her back towards him, thinking it was safer, less intimate, but when he put his bound hand across her waist and pulled her a little closer to his chest, it was everything but safe. She felt his breath on her neck, she felt the entirety of him at her back. He snuggled even closer and she thought her heart would jump out of her chest.

“Like this?” he whispered into her ear, making every hair on her body stand on end.

A thousand times yes. A thousand times no.

“You really need to sleep now,” he said sternly. “If you don’t, I’m out of the door.”

“Okay,” she whispered. “Yes. Yes, I’m really tired.”

Warm. Comfortable. Safe.

Somehow, she managed to force herself to fall asleep. Because she really didn’t want him to leave.

###

Impressive.

Just like a saint, he was cuddling Hanji to his chest, not allowing himself – or certain single-minded body parts – to get too carried away about it. She obviously wanted comfort only – and he was capable of providing that. More, he thought he owed it to her. For dragging her from their spacious, safe headquarters to this hellhole, for letting her get poisoned and mistreated by the despicable low lives who inhabited the underground. For… for every hurt he would cause her in the future too.

Her body was firm and warm, and his right hand was not going to move up to the round, soft mounds it craved to touch through the bandages. The button was still off of course. But that was no invitation. No, the hand would stay still on her stomach. Her very flat, hard stomach. She probably wasn’t eating enough. On top of everything she had to endure, food quality in the underground was poor and she had definitely not gotten sufficient nourishment. It was good to have some reserves, in case of hardship. Not that he had ever managed… He had muscles, but not much else. Sinews, muscles and bones. He hoped his arm was comfortable as her pillow. Maybe it was too hard? Her neck or her shoulders might cramp. But she didn’t budge, and he thought she was asleep because she was breathing in and out deeply. She even made a cute little noise from time to time, blowing out air through her teeth.

Her hair smelled so nice. He breathed in deeply, identifying the soap from the hotel bath but being far more interested in the Hanji smell underneath, that which made him think of the sun and the sky, the clean air after a sudden downpour, dew drops on grass… wildflowers, so pretty how they turned entire landscapes into a sea of colors. He stifled a yawn. And… the clouds up above, he still wondered where they were going every day, same with the birds… they were always so busy flying somewhere but why? Was it better there than here? Would he ever… would he be able to see...

Rather unexpectedly, Levi fell asleep.

For someone with grave insomnia and frequent nightmares, it was a very deep sleep. It was accompanied by a wholesome dream, of walking hand in hand under the vast sky through a meadow. There were trees up ahead, on a little hill, and they were headed there. To have a picnic. Hanji had a basket on her arm, covered with a white cloth. Underneath, there were all kinds of delicacies. Funny enough, there were no Titans in his dream world. So, they were not in the least afraid. They did not have to check the horizon constantly or fear that one was hiding out of sight. The lightness of it all felt almost daring.

They had a red blanket for sitting underneath the trees. It was big enough for them to lie down on their backs and stare up to the sky through the branches that gently swayed in the wind. If asked when he had last felt happy, Levi would have scoffed at the notion. Happy? That wasn’t a feeling he knew. But in his dream… he was.

At that point, Levi almost woke up. His brain registered the strangeness of the situation, trying to send him a warning, but instead of heeding it, he buried himself even deeper into the pleasantness of his dream. It seemed to him that he had to kiss Hanji because not doing so would be a sinful waste. He bent over and brushed his lips over hers, very lightly at first. She tasted sweet, like cookies fresh from the oven. He needed to taste more. Her lips parted for him willingly, letting his tongue explore what lay beyond. More sweetness. And a rush of blood to his groin. He groaned. His member sprang to attention inside his trousers so quickly, it hurt. Grinding against her promised some relief. Thankfully, she began to move against him too, providing him the friction he sought, up and down, up and down. All his nerves came alive. He got even harder. But really, dry humping was something for boys who didn’t know yet what pleasures lay between a woman’s legs. The slick wetness. The warmth. To bury himself to the hilt inside of her, to set a leisurely pace to make it last until he couldn’t hold back anymore. Gods, he needed...

“Hanji…,” he moaned … and woke himself up.

“Fuck,” he swore and moved away from the warm, tempting body in his arms as quickly as he could without waking her.

“Really,” Oliver chuckled, “I need to get out of here. This is highly embarrassing.”

The old man had managed to free himself, clever old bugger, and was already at the door.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Levi was fast, even with a rock hard erection filling his trousers. His hand pressed the door shut. Oliver shrank away.

“Let me go,” the old man begged. “Please.”

“Renzo will skin you alive,” Levi frowned, “you know that, don’t you?”

“He won’t get me,” Oliver shook his head. “And I am more valuable alive. Besides, I will tell him you took the documents back.”

Talk about confidence.

“What about Xandra?”

“She is far less emotional than the Church boy,” Oliver shrugged. “We have a business relationship that was concluded.”

“Fine,” Levi relented. No, it wasn’t his groin doing the thinking. Okay, maybe a little. Or a lot. He really, _really_ wanted to be alone with Hanji. “But before I let you go, you tell me everything you know.”

“Know about what?”

“The things that could interest me, of course.”

Oliver narrowed his eyes at him. “How long have we known each other, boy?”

Levi shrugged. Kind of forever. As long as he remembered.

“I’ve always liked you, snotty nose or not. I cheered when I heard you had disappeared. I knew you were one of the only ones who had it in him to escape and not come back. So… why did you come back, you little idiot?”

Yes, why had he come back? The question was simple to answer - because someone had sent him a message. But then again… why had he not ignored it? _Because I’m not free of this place_ , an unbidden voice in his head said.

Oliver sighed. “And even you it does not let go, this place.”

“I’ll clean up this mess and will be gone forever,” Levi insisted darkly. It happened if you really meant it, didn’t it?

“You had your chance, boy,” Oliver sounded quite angry all of a sudden. “But they noticed you and your fancy tricks out there. Hm, they suddenly realized that all these years, you had lived in the dark, unseen. And so they made sure to separate you from your herd.”

‘They’ again? Levi shook his head. But somehow… shit. Something clicked.

“Erwin, that coldhearted bastard,” he murmured. Because if someone had made sure he was separated from ‘the herd’, it had been Erwin. Erwin, after talking to Xandra. Erwin, who knew Levi had tried to conspire with Lebov before. Erwin, who could hold grudges for eons, as he himself had told Levi. Erwin, who needed additional money for the Survey Corps because the Council fucked him over every chance they got. It made a lot of sense, didn’t it.

“Who is Erwin? No, _Kenny_ told them how special you are,” Oliver continued. “There must be something in it for him.”

“Lovely,” Levi scoffed at hearing that word in connection with him, “I’m special and precious. And that’s the biggest bullshit ever sprouted down here. Kenny is probably having the laugh of his life. Fuck you all.”

Oliver shrugged but remained silent, a knowing look on his face.

“What,” Levi sighed.

“Your mama once told me to keep an eye on you.”

“So what?” Levi yelled before he caught himself. Quickly, he looked over to the bed, but Hanji was still fast asleep. “So what,” he repeated more quietly, “she was worried I could end up with the wrong crowd like every mama in the underground.”

“Maybe,” Oliver shrugged again.

“Just fucking leave me alone,” Levi grumbled.

“Ah, but didn’t you want to know everything of interest?”

Levi nodded angrily.

“That girl…,” Oliver pointed his chin at Hanji. “... if you want to bonk her, be quick about it. There’s not many as powerful and ruthless as her father. And he happens to be here.”

“You said,” Levi’s mood got even worse. Hanji didn’t like her father. He didn’t like him either, pompous shit.

“No, I mean here. _Here_ here. In this hotel. You can be sure someone will tell him she is here too and then she’s gone quicker than you can say ‘fuck’.”

###

Zoë woke up from a deep sleep. She felt rested, for the first time in forever. She opened her eyes, trying to orientate herself - and there was Levi, looking at her from the door, a deep scowl on his face.

“What is it?” she said and scrambled into a sitting position. “And where’s the old man?”

“He is gone,” Levi said, still scowling at her like it was her fault.

“Huh?” She swung her legs over the side of the bed. “But didn’t you…”

She looked around. Right. She had asked him to hold her, she remembered with a rush of embarrassment. He wasn't holding her anymore. The place beside her was cold.

“You let him go?”

“In a way,” Levi pushed himself off the door and took a step toward her.

“Why?!”

“He got annoying.”

“For fuck’s sake, Levi!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up. “He knows everything and everyone down here! He was an extremely valuable prisoner.”

Levi shrugged.

“I don’t believe this,” Hanji moaned, rubbing her eyes underneath her glasses.

“Hanji,” Levi said, taking another step. She realized he wasn't even listening to her properly. He looked… feral. Her heart remembered its frantic pace before she had fallen asleep and launched straight into it. “Remember what you said about ‘the itch’?”

Did she rememb… she stared at him before nodding. Of course she fucking remembered. But Mr. Hard-to-Get was hot then cold, going for her breasts one second like they were manna from heaven, then stopping all romantic thoughts with a “No, it’s better this way”.

“I have a massive itch,” his voice dropped very low and she shuddered in response. “And I’m thinking… I’m thinking that I need to scratch it because it’s getting worse and I need to have my wits about me for what is surely soon descending upon us.”

Oh god, she was already getting wet.

“But you are… are you not…,” she gestured towards his person meekly, all rational thoughts leaving her head quickly.

“Injured? I’ll survive,” he said. “Fuck, Hanji. I look at you and all I can think of is to…”

“Yes?” she gulped.

“... fuck you,” he said hoarsely. “Can I? I promise you, it’s just lust. There’s no danger of me getting too attached or anything...”

Whatever it was, she wanted it. A lot..

“Maybe you should stop talking?” she laughed nervously. “Cause… hell, Levi. I’m fucking ready for this.”


	20. Fucking Ready for This

Yes, she was ready for this... and yet felt nervous as shit. Levi looked dangerous in the half-light of their small hotel room. She was very aware of his lithe, strong body mere feet away at the door, coiled and ready to pounce. All too aware of what the frank statement of his intentions did to her. He wanted to fuck her? A thousand times yes, she wanted to be fucked. Just lust, he had said? Oh god, it was so strong she wanted to roll around like a cat in heat and rub herself all over him.

Then again… Zoë swallowed. His eyes that swept over her slowly as she was sitting at the edge of the bed were dark and tumultuous like the sky before a deluge. What could she possibly hold onto so she would not be swept off her feet once it started?

“Do you… do you maybe want to take that shirt off?” Zoë asked in an attempt to remain in control but with a voice she hardly recognized as her own.

Wordlessly, his hands went to the hem of the oversized shirt and ripped it up and over his head. Muscles flexed and rippled when he threw it to the side. She licked her lips and a small sigh escaped her.

“Like what you’re seeing?” he smirked.

“Doesn’t it hurt anymore?” she asked, her eyes somewhat sheepishly fixating the bandages that were plastered to his side. There was no blood that she could see but his ribs on that side were all shades of purple and yellow.

“Other parts of me hurt far more,” he growled. “Never before in my life have I lost a battle so thoroughly.”

Oh. She allowed her eyes to move down to his trousers where the sizable proof of his readiness stood to attention. She swallowed again.

“Are you maybe done looking?” he demanded to know. Her eyes snapped back to his face. His poor lips…

“Aren’t your lips still…”

“They will do,” he growled, stepped forward and seized her head to kiss her.

It was a possessive kiss, hard and demanding. Towering over her like this, he had all the advantage. Grabbing her hair with his unbound hand to tilt her face, he sucked at her lower lip, nipped it. His own lips felt rough and scabbed and she recoiled, afraid of hurting him. In response, he pressed down even harder. His tongue demanded entrance and she granted it, a jolt like lightning going through her when their tongues met inside her mouth.

Setting a leisurely rhythm, his tongue stroked hers into submission. It demanded surrender and she gave in with hardly any resistance, overpowered by sensations that made her toes curl and her ears buzz. He tasted like danger, like everything she had ever craved and never gotten. There was no escaping this. No air, no reason, no safety, only thrill.

Give in, his presence taunted. Let go. We’ll perish together. And just like that, the deluge started. She was instantly lost in the downpour.

_Oh god_ , she managed to think. _And this is just the first kiss._

She lost herself in a sea of tingling nerves, afloat with no means to get back to shore… until he withdrew suddenly, leaving her feeling so deprived and empty, she whimpered. But his lips were just there, a fraction of an inch from hers, his hot breath teasing them, making them prickle and ache.

More. She wanted more.

Her hands shot up and grabbed his head in turn. He felt his sly smile against her lips when hers sought his. Little bastard. Playing her? But it was her turn now. She had to work hard for him to open his mouth but when he finally did, she grabbed both his ears to hold him still. She went in for the plunder, ravaging that savage, crude mouth of his until he was entirely breathless.

His hands, one bound, one free to tweak and pull, went to her nipples, to take back control and disarm her. She gasped as fire raced down into her stomach and down to the place between her legs. He put a knee up on the bed, an offering against her throbbing core. She began grinding against it but too soon, he pushed her backwards, denying her relief, pinning her shoulders down as he leaned over her.

Swiftly, he parted her shirt. Goodbye remaining buttons! Zoë chortled as they flew away but his mouth latched onto her right nipple and he drew the first moan from her lips when he teased it into a rock hard button with his tongue and teeth. Relentless he sucked, licked and nibbled. Right, left, right, left. She writhed underneath him, rubbed herself against his knee again, desperate, until he withdrew it. Looking down at her with eyes as dark as the night sky, his hands went to the sides of her trousers. He pulled them down over her hips and the traitors came off obediently, along with the underpants, leaving her naked.

In the same movement, he pulled her forward so that her bottom was just at the edge of the bed, went to his knees and nudged her legs apart with his shoulders. Bared to him like this, her nervousness surged. And yet, being at his mercy was exhilarating, tremendously arousing.

“Damn,” he breathed. She squealed when he dived forward and put his mouth on her sensitive parts. It tickled. Then it didn’t.

_Silly me missed it a lot, that little tonguesy_ , Annika had said. Zoë understood the references now. The second moan he got from her was much louder than the first. She thought she heard him chuckle in response, but by the gods, that tongue was dipping in and out of places, then flicked, sucked, nibbled her nub. It had been, what, a few seconds? But she was going to come already.

“I’m…,” she panted, “I’m…”, and then she came in several big shuddering waves and forgot to breathe for a bit.

But Levi had no intention of letting her breathe. He slid a finger inside of her, turned it slightly to reach for the spot that fired her up like nothing else. Did he have a frigging map?

“Fuuuuck…,” she moaned, arching her back. He stroked her at an almost leisurely pace, teasing more than pleasing, and she writhed and humped and ground against him. In no time, she went over the edge a second time, her legs shaking uncontrollably.

“Enough?” he smirked looking up at her when she had calmed down, his flushed face wet from her juices, his hair endearingly tousled. “Can it be that you're exhausted already?”

She had never seen him smile like this before. Pleased with himself, was he?

“Is this… fun to you?” she gasped.

“Tremendously,” he answered, blowing bursts of air on her clit. “You can beg for more.”

“Never,” she panted. “Fuck you.”

“With pleasure,” he grabbed her legs, lifted them off the floor and swiveled her properly onto the bed.

“Take your glasses off,” he demanded, looking down at her.

“So I can’t see you properly anymore?” she shook her head.

“As you wish,” he shrugged. He opened and kicked off his pants then, freeing his glorious erection. She felt a need to giggle like a clueless virgin. When he slid onto the bed on his knees, Zoë folded her hand around it tentatively. She looked at his face for signs of displeasure but there were none. Slowly, she began to move her hand up and down, loving the smooth heat against her palm, listening to his accelerating breathing, watching the taunting eyes that slowly hooded. Not too much pressure. Not too fast. She wanted this inside of her. Soon.

“You don’t happen to have a condom hidden away somewhere, I guess?” he remarked huskily, stalling her hand. “I promise to be careful.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she felt her cheeks heat up a little. “I’m barren. I cannot have children.”

“Are you sure?” He sounded astonished.

“Yeah, the doctors said so, a long time ago. I don’t even bleed like other women. No child of mine will ever have to live in this fucked up world. Isn’t that good?”

He swung a leg over her body, crouching over her. His unbound left hand came up to her face, gently cupping her cheek. He bent down low and kissed her forehead.

“I’m thinking this fucked up world is missing out,” he whispered.

It got her right in the heart.

###

The moment he entered her, Levi made a vow. It felt too good. He realized he never wanted to stop, that he was already addicted to pleasuring her. So he vowed he would walk away from it as soon as he was done - because he had promised he would. Because it was the sensible thing to do, the only thing allowed. Wanting it to last as long as possible though, he pushed in much more slowly than he was eager to, reveling in her tightness, in the feeling of the slick warmth engulfing him.

“Levi,” she moaned.

The sound of his name from her lips was the most erotic thing he had ever heard and he hoped for more as soon as it had died away. He watched the concentration on her face, the pulse that beat fast on the base of her throat. He began to move in and out of her with long, deep strokes, spellbound at the sight of her enraptured face underneath him.

She obviously liked what he was doing, and he liked that she did. Pleasuring her was gratifying, it made him feel good. She deserved a bit of extra attention and satisfaction, she always worked so hard. What he hated though was that he needed his good hand to balance himself and couldn’t use the useless one to reach down and stimulate her clit.

No, this wouldn’t do.

He turned them around in a smooth motion, arranging her on top. Now he could look at her much better and he could also grab her tight ass with his left hand, pulling the cheeks apart slightly, guiding her up and down his rod in the right rhythm. Good. So good.

“Your turn,” he told her after a bit and she immediately began to roll her hips, wringing a startled grunt from his lips. She rode him with dedication, her eyes closed, her head tilted back, baring a magnificent throat to his attention. He would have liked to bite it, like an animal that demanded submission but it was out of reach.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded and when she frowned a little he took her hand off his chest and moved it to her sweet spot so she understood. She soon upped her pace, the circling motion squeezing him harder while her fingers producing squishing sounds on her wet fold. Gods, it got hard to concentrate. He tried to still her hips to take control of the pace again, but she didn’t let him. She bent down and drove her tongue into his mouth, moaning and panting, and quite thoroughly muddling his head.

It was going to be over too fast and he would regret it. But there was no stopping now. He drove in deeper, faster. He felt her tremble and sped up more, panting just like she did, matching her moans and groans. His balls began to tighten as her walls began to clench around him.

“Ahhhhhh,” she cried out and he came deep inside of her, spurt after spurt milked from him until he was empty and done, shaking from a sudden weakness and something that felt like loss.

She collapsed on top of him, her hair all over his face, her warmth all around him. He didn’t want to withdraw, so he slung his arms around her and held her tight, thinking that he wasn’t actually breaking his vow if he just stayed inside of her and waited until he was ready again. … which was going to be soon because just feeling her naked breasts pressed against his body like this was highly erotic and there were so many other things he wanted to do with her. Thinking of them in detail made him semi-hard in no time and he began to rock her gently against him.

“Hmmmm,” he sighed. It still felt good. He felt himself swell inside of her. It felt even better.

She stirred feebly.

“You are tired?” he asked her, brushing the hair away from her face. He would accept that if he had to. Not gladly. He was still full of lust. Even more lust than before, he realized, it was like knowing a certain sweet was very bad for you but you just couldn’t stop eating it.

“A little,” she said in a small, unhappy voice.

That made him worried. She had liked it, he was sure. Had he been too demanding? But then, she began to move too, small, circling motions.

“Hmmm,” he pressed out. “If you’re too tired, don’t do that.”

“Are you an adolescent with boundless sexual energy?” she asked, lifting her head to look down at him.

Her face was flushed, her eyes large and shimmering behind her askew glasses. Saucy. Sexy. Now that he could reach her throat he _did_ bite her, more or less lightly, but it was a way of marking her. She looked at him a little outraged and at the same time surprised and all he wanted to do was have her again - and again - and again, until they were too exhausted to continue, which was never.

He grabbed her hips and turned her to the side, into the position they had been in before his dream had woken him - only this time, all his body parts were right where they wanted to be, and his hand could do what it had wanted to do: touch and cup her perfect little breasts, touch and rub her between her legs, all the while gliding in and out of her from behind, reaching that special pleasure spot inside of women easily like this.

“Mmhmhmhmhhmm,” she whimpered.

Her skin was so smooth, it felt like expensive fabric underneath his fingers. He regretted that he hadn’t given it sufficient attention by licking it. The taste of her, it was in his mouth, but he didn’t know what fragrance her belly had, what her belly button would feel like against his tongue. His hand went between her legs again, to where he was joined with her, gathering their juices on his fingers. Putting them into his mouth, he sucked them off.

“You are so damn sexy,” he growled into her ear, “all of you. Just perfect.”

He lifted her leg so he could reach deeper, concentrating on the feeling of her walls around him, on the little tremors that had started to rock her.

“Say my name when you come,” he panted and bit her neck this time, wanting to leave a mark for everyone to see even if… even if…

“Levi,” she moaned. And a second time, louder: “Levi!”

He tried to prolong the inevitable, a few seconds more, two thrusts, three, but it was no use, she clenched and pulsed around him and that was the end of him. He pressed her against his chest, wanting to feel all of her against him one last time as he came with a grunt, hard, long, the intensity of it robbing him of breath and reason.

He was still pressing her to himself when he got his bearing back. He noticed with a bit of surprise that she shook in his arms and thought she was laughing. But no. To his great mortification, he realized that Hanji was crying.

“Did I… did I hurt you?” Levi stammered, his heart clenching painfully.

“N… no,” she sobbed.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I’m so sorry, what have I done?”

She shook her head but didn’t speak, only cried harder. Feeling quite at a loss what to do, Levi withdrew from her and turned her around so she was facing him. His fingers brushed at the tears, but they wouldn’t stop.

He hadn’t known this before. But the absolute worst thing in the world? It was Hanji crying.

###

His shocked concern only made the tears flow more rapidly. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t his fault, well... it was, in some way, but not because he had done anything wrong - it was because he had done everything right. Levi looked crestfallen and she cried harder. Her heart was too full, it was overflowing. She had feared this would happen. She should never have allowed this intimacy.

“Dammit, Hanji, talk to me,” he murmured, rubbing her back a little clumsily. “You should have told me to stop if you didn’t like it.”

“No,” she sobbed.

“No?” his hand briefly faltered, then took up its circling motion again. “You mean…”

“Didn’t… want… you… to… stop.”

“Ah. Good.” He still looked quite doubtful.

“It’s not… I really liked it.”

So. There. She could form coherent words like a normal human being. Liked it? It felt like the biggest understatement she had ever uttered. It had completely floored her. Never before in her life had she felt so… cherished. So full. Was that a reason to feel so sad? No. Soon, this crisis would be over.

The tears stopped. The pressure in her chest remained.

He seemed pleased, then bent forward to press a kiss to her forehead. _Don’t._ She thought. _Don’t do that. Don’t be so damn nice and considerate. Be Levi that hateful asshole_. Her lower lip began to quiver again but she stilled it by sucking it into her mouth. Not noticing her continuing crisis, Levi pulled her closer so that her head was resting on his chest. To lie in his arms like this… oh god, she was going to cry again.

“You need to eat something,” he declared resolutely. “You must be starving. I will go and…”

“Don’t leave!” she tightened her arms around him.

“But we…”

“Just… don’t leave.”

“Okay,” he stirred against her, then settled. “But we have to eventually.”

“But not now.”

“No, I guess not right now.”

What time it was, what day? She snuggled closer to the solid warmth of his body. Levi reached down and managed to find a blanket to pull over them both.

“Sleep,” he said quietly, his voice rumbling in his chest against her ear, “I will guard your sleep.”

“What if Maria…?”

He chuckled. “Let her come, she’ll be pissed she didn’t manage to interrupt us this time!”

This time… would there be a next time? She dared not ask, dared not even think about it. Dared not hope because that way lay what they both knew couldn’t be.

“I’m glad you liked it,” Levi said after a bit of silence, betraying what he was still thinking about. “Do you regularly cry after sex?”

“No!” she snorted in outrage.

“Is it because you realized how you wasted your time with Zacharias?”

“Levi!” she had to laugh. She wasn’t going to tell him but in comparison to what they had just done, sex with Mike was as boring as the daily squat leader briefings.

“I still don’t understand why you cried like you had just lost your favorite pet though.”

Oh Levi…

“Leave it alone, Levi,” she said.

“I find that hard, Hanji,” he answered, kissing the top of her head. “I don’t want you to be sad. Ever. I want to know what things make you sad so I can remove them from the world.”

That was sufficient to make the damn burst again. She hadn’t even known she had so many pointless tears inside of her. Embarrassing.

“Fuck,” he cursed, “did somebody hurt you? I will go kill them right away.”

“No,” she sobbed. “Levi, it’s just the pressure that we were under for the last few days and how it… just dissipated now. It’s me adjusting.”

“Huh,” she heard in his voice that he did not believe a word she said, “that makes no sense at all. Is this a woman thing?”

She nodded.

“I see,” he mused. “Fine, I guess. If it’s over now. I feel like I’m dying inside when you cry.”

“Levi,” she scrambled up and kissed him, gently, on his damaged lips, his face, his eyelids, his nose, his forehead. He grumbled something in protest but his arms tightened around her body.

No.

No, she couldn’t walk away from this bed, this experience, and feel nothing.

“Can we just pretend we are someone else?” she blurted out.

“Hm?” he shifted next to her, probably trying to find a comfortable position. “Are you into role play?”

“No,” she was losing her courage fast, unfortunately, “I meant to say… pretend we’re not who we are. Not Survey Corps soldiers breaking the law. Let’s pretend we met at the gambling hall for the first time and were instantly attracted to each other.”

“Attracted, huh?”

“You know… I saw you and thought ‘what a sexy little man, I need to sleep with him’. And now we continue doing what people do down here do when they’re attracted to each other.”

“Aha,” he sounded amused. “So you want to pay me for services rendered?”

“Pay you…?” her outrage this time almost made her jump up, but Levi held her down, laughing.

“You said you want to do what people down here do in such cases. A rich lady from above ground coming to the sin den for sexual pleasure pays handsomely.”

“Did you ever get paid for… this?” Hanji felt red hot anger at the thought.

“How is that any of your business?” Levi asked and yawned leisurely. “Any kid from the gutter offered a tower of shillings would jump on the occasion.”

She wanted to cry again. How stupid she was, thinking she had a right to know such things about him now. Nothing had changed, of course - Levi had made it a hundred percent clear he wanted no attachment, wouldn’t allow any.

“I was offered money once,” Levi added like an afterthought. “I’ve never been more offended in my life.”

“Oh,” was all she was able to say.

“I had thought… well, I was very young,” he shrugged.

“How young… sorry. None of my business.”

“You’re an eternally curious one, aren’t you?” he chuckled. “I was thirteen. She was a lady from Mitras, more beautiful than anything I had ever seen. I was stupidly in love with the idea that someone like that could love someone like me, that she would take me out of here and into a place in the sun. But,” he shrugged again. “Every kid is allowed foolish notions of romance once. I never made such a mistake again.”

“Who was it?” Zoë demanded to know, ideas of violence blossoming in her head. Thirteen! Little kid Levi lied to and exploited!

“I am not going to tell you,” Levi said and booped her nose. “Don’t be angry.”

“I’m very sorry you had to experience that,” she said. Not be angry? She was furious.

“It’s alright,” he grinned, “I’ve long since learned not to expect payment. I became a thief, which is almost as lucrative. But I’m guessing from your outrage you had something else in mind than to play rich lady and gutter rat?”

Her courage was at zero. If it wasn’t obvious to him what she wanted, how could she say it without dying from mortification?

“You want to pretend we both don’t know that this kind of attraction and chemistry is addictive,” he continued unexpectedly. “That whatever we promise ourselves, that already, we’re at a risk of becoming attached even though we cannot be attached. You want to pretend for one, two, maybe three days that all of this does not matter - is that it?”

He knew. He felt the same. Part of her wanted to jubilate, part of her recoiled in fear. Her head nodded, a small, craven motion. She felt utterly selfish. She just couldn’t bear the thought that she would never be able to lie in his arms again feeling like this.

“It won’t make what has to come after easier, Hanji,” he said quietly. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I know,” her voice was almost inaudibly soft.

“Besides, I still want you to leave with your father. Today, if possible.”

“Stop it!”

“He is here.”

“Yeah, I know that.”

“In this hotel.”

Shocked, she scrambled up and away, hitting an elbow into Levi’s side.

“Ouf,” he grunted.

“Here?!”

“Shhh, don’t shout.”

“You should have told me!”

He frowned. “Oh yeah? And what then? Would you have marched to his door to confront him? You probably would have! But I kinda didn’t want you to march out. I wanted to sleep with you. So yeah, I didn’t tell you.”

“You know what, this is _never_ going to work,” Zoë fumed, reeling from the information that her father was only a few floors below her somewhere.

“Oh, I _do_ know that,” Levi answered gravely. “That’s the whole point. I _told_ you not to get emotional. And I’m telling you now to kick every single emotion you think you’re having out the window. Fast. Get dressed.”

“If you think you can tell me what to do, you’re mistaken!” she raged, only her outrage keeping her from bursting into tears again.

“I get it. But someone is on the stairs, Hanji,” Levi said softly, diving for his clothes.

He was right, she realized when she cocked her head to listen. Of course he was right. About everything.

“I’m sorry,” he added gently. “I wish things were different. But you know… if they were, we would probably never have met. And that...” he reached out to cup her face. Time stilled. His solemn, grey eyes were full of regret. “That would be so much worse.”

He kissed her fiercely, then quickly disentangled himself from her desperate embrace and turned his back on her.

Nothing had changed, of course - only that her heart was lying on the floor, desperate for more of this warmth, comfort, and care that he had provided. It was there, unprotected and vulnerable, quivering in fear, bracing itself to be stomped on - but not regretting a single moment of what had happened between them.


	21. Family

Levi was so furious he had trouble breathing.

First and foremost, he was furious with himself. Furious for hurting Hanji and making her cry. Even though he didn’t fully understand her tears, he knew in his gut she was sad because of him. Also furious for being weak and selfish, giving in to his urges when he had known from the very start that it would end badly. And furious for lying around in bed with her even though he knew their enemies had to be closing in on them.

Now, they were cornered, at the mercy of whoever was approaching the door. His senses might have come alert in the last few minutes, but he felt a deadly sluggishness in his limbs, a mixture of being barely healed enough to move and deep sexual satisfaction that made him want to curl up next to Hanji and forget everything around them. For days. Even forever.

“Get behind me,” he commanded her. Was she dressed? He threw a quick look over his shoulder. He shouldn’t have... She looked more vulnerable than he had ever seen her as she was attempting to close the one remaining button on her shirt with shaking hands.

“Take mine!” he barked and threw his shirt to her, hating how harsh he sounded when all he truly wanted was to fold her into his arms, stroke her hair and tell her it would be okay.

There was a knock at the door. He took a step forward, ready to defend against whoever demanded entry, but had to jump back when the door was kicked in. Seriously, why the fuck knock if you were going to use violence? Five giants in a black, elegant uniform stormed in. He recognized the crest over their heart. It was apparently a Hange thing to like tall, muscular men.

“No bloodshed,” Hanji urged with a shaking voice.

Did she think he was a brute? Yes, that was probably exactly what she thought of him. And she was right: Levi was furious with himself but he was also furious with the world. So furious he felt like killing everyone and everything with his bare hands, ripping off heads, poking out eyes, seeing blood spatter everywhere.

But because of her wish, he didn’t resist when the Hange house guards grabbed him roughly, twisted his arms behind his back and threw him to the floor, a knee at the small of his back to keep him down. A hush fell over the room as two shiny black boots stepped over the threshold. Levi turned his neck a little to have a look at the man wearing those fine shoes, earning himself another painful twist of his wrists and a fist to the face.

“Stay down, vermin,” someone snapped at him.

“Don’t hurt him!” Zoë yelled.

She was normally much smarter than this, he thought as he gritted his teeth against the pain and humiliation. She had to know that she should neither give away who he was nor that she cared about him in the least. Even if it filled him with a weird, tender feeling that she might. That he meant something more to him than what he deserved.

“Zoë,” a deep voice said.

“Father,” Hanji answered with a gasp. Her voice shook. Levi hated it. He hated that she sounded insecure all of a sudden, like all her spunkiness was wiped away by one word. He hated this man, with all his heart for what he was doing to Hanji just by existing. But... she wanted no violence. So be it.

“Sis,” someone else said, stepping forward as well. “We are so glad we found you.”

“Ben… Benjamin?” Zoë’s voice shook even more.

This was one of Hanji’s brothers, Levi knew. He had seen him once, when Erwin had asked Levi to accompany him to a Council meeting, a few months past. ‘To watch and learn’, as Erwin had put it. Oh, he had watched and he had learned… learned to hate those self-serving bastards who brown-nosed the Fritz family even more than he already did. To them, people like him were exactly what he had just been called: vermin.

“Who is this?” her father asked.

“None of your business,” Zoë snapped. “You are not even my family anymore, so get out!”

“At least it’s a man,” her father sighed. “That’s better than I expected.”

“Was it fucking Theodor Treibel who I have to thank for this?” Zoë raged. “I hope his innards rot and he dies screaming for his mommy.”

“Daughter, language!”

“Teddy is in the hospital,” Benjamin said gravely. Levi instantly hated his soft, gentle, slightly saddened voice for what it was going to do to Hanji. “It was a close call but he is going to make it.”

“Do I look like I care?” Zoë spat. “Teddy had no business putting his nose into my affairs and nobody asked him to come down here after me!”

“Well, but he did care. And he did follow you,” Benjamin answered. “He has not given up on you, Sis.”

“What?” Zoë laughed, but it was a wild, hurt, slightly crazy sounding laugh. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

“You are coming with us,” her father said, clearly used to being obeyed in all things, always.

“No, I’m not!”

“Oh, but you will,” he said ominously.

There was a bit of a shuffle and several grunts. Levi moved instinctively to help Hanji, he really couldn’t help it, but someone kicked him in the head and then put a dirty boot on his cheek to press him down, while the other twisted his good arm so far back it almost broke.

“How much?” someone asked. There was a short silence and Levi, who was desperately gasping for air, noticed that the shiny black boots were close to his face. When Zoë drew in a sharp breath, he realized that the question had been addressed to him. Her father dropped a few bills to the floor.

“That’s not enough,” Levi mumbled through lips that were bleeding again. “The lady was very demanding. I’m completely worn out.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Zoë stammered over and over. More bills fluttered down from above. It was enough to feed at least four orphans for a year, Levi’s brain calculated lazily.

Well, this was exactly what he had wanted. Zoë out of danger, with her influential, powerful father. Shame really that it felt all wrong. One of the guards kicked him in the head again, aiming straight for the temple. Well, in a screwed up kind of way, Levi was thankful that he blacked out too quickly to see how they dragged Zoë out of the room. He wasn’t sure he could have kept silent.

###

_No._

_No. No. No_.

Zoë struggled against her captors all the way up the stairs until her limbs were shaking from exhaustion. Her father’s guards bound her hands at his snapped order, shackled her feet so she couldn’t run without tripping, put a gag into her mouth to silence her curses, and when she threw herself to the ground once too often, carried her slung over a massive shoulder like a recalcitrant child.

She didn’t want to leave. Her business was down in the Underground city, not up in Mitras or in the military jail. She had given Erwin her word to watch Levi. Levi was important to the Survey Corps, they couldn’t lose him. Levi was… he was …

He was damn important to _her_. Leaving him like this, with too much unsaid, too much undone, it broke her heart.

New tears started dripping down from her face, briefly clinging to the tip of her nose before falling onto the stairs. _Oh god, I’m such an idiot_ , she thought, cringing at the memory of how she had basically begged him for more intimacy! But he was much too level-headed for such pointless follies. _It won’t make what has to come after easier, Hanji,_ he had said. A straight ‘no’ wouldn’t have made it clearer what he thought of the matter.

And he was right of course. Once Erwin and the others returned and everything went back to normal, a relationship between them like she had briefly imagined was out of the question. She had to get a grip on herself, fast. Levi might not easily admit it, but she knew that his place with the Corps meant an awful lot to him. Zoë couldn’t imagine a life without the military either. What they risked was that one of them would be forced to leave.

Given what Levi was capable of out in the field… if faced with a choice between humanity’s best soldier and a hapless scientist? Well… she could well imagine Erwin’s solemn, stony face when he told her that she had to pack her bags and leave.

So, maybe it was a good thing that her father had humiliated Levi to the extreme? Throwing money at him like he was a male prostitute! Levi must be plotting murder - and she couldn’t even blame him. She expected he would not want to talk to her anymore. That would be awkward during squad leader meetings, but it would help her get stupid thoughts out of her head. Levi could be very mean, she had experienced it firsthand several times. It was what she wanted from him again. No. Not wanted... What she needed. Anything but tender words, caresses and kisses. Hate. Hate would do nicely.

“Almost there,” Benjamin said and patted her hair awkwardly. She shrunk away from the touch, unsure what to make of it.

Coming face to face with her father had shaken her, but it was Benjamin’s unexpected presence in that room that had the even bigger effect. She remembered him sitting at his desk day and night, studying to become a council member who earned himself his influential family’s praise. He was a politician, through and through, not a fighter. For him to come to a place like the underground… _for me?_ But Benjamin had hardly ever talked to her when she was a child. He was the most serious of her brothers, the most studious, the least brotherly. Why would he accompany their father into such a place?

Zoë hadn’t spoken to anyone from her family in over a decade. She hadn’t missed them. On most days, she could completely forget where she had grown up. Family was not something you were born into but the emotional connections you chose to make, she kept telling herself. But there were days when her heart hurt and she remembered moments of warmth, of belonging elsewhere, of being safe in ways she only now knew how to appreciate. Life as a soldier was very hard, almost too hard sometimes. You never knew who would die next. And when they did, there was never enough time to grieve. It wore you down to have yet another squad member ripped to pieces due to a tiny mistake, to dream of their horrified screams during the night, and to know that however brave your colleagues were out there, their struggles were what their critics hurled at them again and again: ultimately pointless.

And yet… and yet, to live that way was her choice and she would fight to have one in the future, with all she had.

The moment their little party emerged through the gateway and into the sun, Zoë felt a strange sense of other-worldliness. She couldn’t even say for certain how many days had passed since she had followed Levi down the steps - but it felt like a lifetime. She felt like she had so fundamentally changed that coming up those stairs into the light in less than half an hour was the strangest, most unreal thing.

They hauled her into a family carriage that waited for them right at the door. Her father and her brother sat opposite of her, watching her solemnly as the horses jolted into action. Her father’s mottled gray hair and the deep furrows around his mouth made Zoë uneasy, like it was a deliberate reminder that she had been a bad child, bringing her parents grief, aging them prematurely. That Benjamin on the other hand looked exactly like their father had when she had last seen him was even stranger.

“You will thank us eventually,” Benjamin said, frowning at her sullen scrutiny. He looked exhausted.

“Don’t bother,” their father said and turned his face away to look out the curtained window.

“Yes, I wish you hadn’t,” she murmured, suddenly too tired to put up more of a fight.

What _did_ they plan to do with her? By law, it was her commander who was in charge of punishing her. Since Erwin wasn’t around… Zoë shuddered. Great. That meant she was at the mercy of the Military Police’s commander: Nile Dok. As far as she knew, he and Erwin were something like friends, after being members of the same Training Corps. Dok would certainly not be lenient towards one of Erwin’s soldiers who had disobeyed her commander’s orders. She would have to insist to be court martialed in Erwin’s presence. Maybe he would listen to what she had to say. Maybe. On a good day. Which he was unlikely to have.

But they were not headed for the palace district, she soon noticed, nor for one of the three military quarters that served as housing for the commanders and their aides when they were to speak in front of the council. Instead, they went for the Hange mansion at considerable speed. She was ushered inside without any further explanation, feeling a strange sense of foreboding that tightened her chest. Everything was familiar, yet strange. There were more guards than she had ever seen everywhere. She could try to escape but it would not be easy.

They forced her into a gigantic bathroom and scrubbed at her until her skin was pink. An army of maids oiled her skin, filed her nails and did her hair. There was quite a brouhaha about what to dress her in next, with five of them running into all directions. That was mildly amusing for a while - but they conjured up halfway fitting underwear, a corset and a frock from somewhere eventually and jammed her into it without mercy.

A doctor was brought in by Benjamin and… damn this, now certain things made marginally more sense! Beatrix Treibel came in at his heel, Theodor’s sister - and apparently, Zoë’s sister-in-law since two years ago, as she was dutifully informed by the docile wife before she took her polite leave again.

The doctor prodded at her and then handed her something to drink. She refused.

“Please,” Benjamin begged, in a voice that was much sadder and tenser than she remembered. “It’s against all the illnesses you likely picked up down there.”

Zoë lifted her eyebrows at him with a snort but decided to take the brew instead of telling him about being continually poisoned for days. Despite her increasing weariness, she was beginning to get very curious about why her family had thought it necessary to come fetch her in person from a place they believed to be infested with deadly disease.

Benjamin gestured for her to follow him and led her to one of the bigger salons facing the West, a room that looked like an oversized cake, pink and white, with an awful lot of pointless decorations showing off the family’s riches. Little Zoë had once deliberately broken a mirror in here, because she couldn’t stand the fake cheerfulness of it all.

Here, Zoë came face to face with her weeping mother.

Silly of her not to be prepared for such emotional turmoil, but apparently, the whole business of being thrust into her family’s path had destabilized her more than she had wanted to admit to herself. Her mother’s tears hit her straight in the gut. Defenseless, she went on her knees in front of her and when she was enfolded into an almost timid hug, she began bawling like a baby too. Her mother looked so frail, so vulnerable…

“Zoë, my dear, dear Zoë,” her mother cried and showered kisses upon her hair. “You’re finally back!”

That she could be missed had crossed Zoë’s mind sometimes, but she had always pushed the thought far away because she didn’t want to hope even for a second that they would ever invite her back.

“I was never that far,” she told her mother. Which was true and at the same time false. Of course, the wife of Council Member Hange couldn’t just take a carriage and seek out the military barracks in another district. It would cause the biggest scandal. And her mother did only what was proper, always, even at high cost to herself.

“Look what they did to you,” her mother lamented, stroking her cheeks, her chin, her temples. “Look at the state of your skin, your hair, my poor child.”

“I’m fine, Mama,” Zoë said, gently disengaging herself.

“She wasn’t with a woman,” her father’s voice at the door startled them both. Zoë felt her mother stiffen, then her shoulders sagged forward.

“Thank the gods,” the woman sighed, looking ready to swoon from relief.

Seriously. That was the worst they could imagine?

“Teddy really told you I was a lesbian? What a friggin idiot.”

Her mother gasped, her father sighed once more. It was almost funny. The possibility of her loving women had brought her father _and_ her eldest brother down into Chika to drag her back home? It was almost worth bedding a woman for real next to see what that would make them do!

“I do not want to know what you were doing,” her father said, stepping next to her mother’s fauteuil, his hand lightly pressing her bony shoulder as if she could receive strength that way. “All that matters is that you’re here now.”

Zoë straightened and shook her head in disbelief. “You kidnapped me. I had no intention of leaving.”

“I’m still your father.”

Was he now.

“And I’m one of His Majesty’s soldiers. I’m of age. You have no right over me whatsoever.”

“You are mistaken.”

Her father’s sharp voice brought her back to the past and many similar situations. The more she had resisted him and his despotic rule, the more enraged he got, the harsher the punishment. But she was no longer just the naive daughter of an extremely powerful man. She was no longer afraid of him. Well, she was no longer horribly afraid at least.

“Do you mean to lock me up?” she shrugged nonchalantly even though her heart was beating faster now.

“If I need to.”

Zoë looked him properly in the eyes for the first time since he had stepped back into her life. If only she could really hate him, she thought, taking it all in - the lines, the stubborn set of his mouth, the tiredness. He looked like someone carrying too many burdens. She also saw herself in him.

“That’s absurd. You know as well as I do what you said that day. I recall your words very well, Father: _You are no longer a child of mine. I never want to see you again. The Hange family washes their hands of you._ ”

Her mother gasped and pressed a handkerchief to her mouth with trembling hands. Right, she had not been there. Like she had never been there when it mattered.

“What is going on?” Zoë demanded to know, swallowing down her disappointment. “Why now? Don’t tell me you suddenly remembered your non-existent love for me.”

“Leave,” her father commanded and waved his own wife out of the room as if she were an irritating fly. Zoë wasn’t quite sure what she hated more: that her mother obeyed without even a wayward glance or that her father thought he had a right to treat anyone like this.

“Sit down,” her father pointed at an empty chair.

“I prefer to stand,” Zoë answered stiffly.

“Doesn’t it get tiresome to be disobedient all the time?” her father lowered himself into the fauteuil her mother had just vacated, casually crossing his legs in the black pants. He looked completely out of place in this pink cake-like room.

“I no longer want you to be part of the military,” he said bluntly. “I have already started a procedure to have you released.”

“You… you can’t do that!” But if someone could, it was Council Member Hange the Elder. A cold desperation took hold of her. He had the King’s ear. The King could have her discharged. “Papa, you can’t do that to me,” she repeated. “It is all I ever wanted. Just… just pretend you do not have a daughter again, it’s that easy.”

“It is not,” his face darkened so suddenly, she took a step back. “It never was. You disappointed me many times, but I still want you alive, not dead. You will return here. I will find you a good husband. The Treibel boy is still willing. You will be safe.”

“Fuck you!” Zoë exploded, “how dare you treat me like a child!”

“Be silent!” he roared, springing to his feet. “Something big is coming. Something big and horrible and I do not want you out there rebelling pointlessly when it arrives!”

Big? Horrible?

“Yeah, they tend to be big,” Zoë snorted. “Big and ugly and always hungry. Funny that I prefer Titans to the Hanges or the Treibel, huh? But I find those monsters more honest.”

For a moment, it looked like her father wanted to hit her. Maybe she would have hit him back and felt satisfied. But he controlled his rage and sat back down, balling his fists tightly.

“Thousands will die, he said,” he said, his eyes taking on a haunted look.

Zoë frowned at him. “Have you lost your mind?” she asked nonplussed. She had seen religious fanatics say similar things, but her father?

“You take your insolence too far,” her father snapped, “your manners and your way of speaking are a disgrace - but it makes it all the more clear that that military branch of yours needs to disappear. I will ensure it is completely defunded and no further missions are granted.”

“You wouldn’t,” Zoë’s eyes grew big.

“I already am,” her father’s eyes narrowed on her. “Naturally, everybody is on my side - Commander Erwin is a fanatic with no friends.”

“You have never even seen a single Titan,” Zoë screamed. “There is so much we don’t understand!”

“It is better we keep it that way,” he said stiffly. “Nobody should set a foot outside the Walls ever again.”

“Ah yes, I remember,” Zoë said bitterly, “you’re an expert at negating anything that doesn’t comply with your wishes. And nobody dares to challenge you because they fear the consequences. Well, I don’t. Do whatever despicable thing you think you need to do. I will ride out through those gates until the day I die - likely in the stomach of one of those monsters. But you know what? I prefer _that_ to everything you and this family has to offer.”

Her father eyed her silently. He was seething with rage, she could see it in the set of his jaw. But apparently, age had given him more control over his temper.

“Let me just tell you this much, child,” he said, his voice even and condescending. “When I tell you something big is coming, I have not lost my mind. I have information. From powerful people that I trust.”

Powerful people… more powerful than him? Then it had to be the King himself or someone from the Fritz family. Zoë swallowed nervously, then gritted her teeth in defiance.

“Fuck you,” she ejected. “You’re nothing but a bully. If something big is coming, doesn’t humanity need us there to defend them? I am sure you know that the Military Police is worthless and the Garrison prefers to drink and gamble.”

“The walls will hold,” he said, jutting out his chin.

“Oh, I’m sure of it,” she gave back, “until it doesn’t - and then what? But this is no use. You claim you suddenly remembered you had a daughter, heard she was a lesbian, dropped everything and went down into the Underground to rescue her, my Big Bro in tow. Excuse me while I laugh and don’t believe this.”

Again, he was silent, watching her intently.

“You think me incapable of affection for you,” he then observed.

“Correct,” she nodded.

“Well, you’re wrong,” he laughed. “The underground is the most dangerous place to be right now and when I heard you went down there at the most inopportune time, I thought it wise to extract you.”

“Because you feared for your good name,” she huffed.

“No, because the Military Police is preparing for a major operation,” he corrected her. “The curfew will go into place tonight.”

“Because one of them was killed?”

“One?” Her father snorted. “It’s been far more than one. Someone is slitting soldiers’ throats by the dozens. We need to set an example and reestablish control or they will next come up into our city in masses to take over our houses.”

“Bullshit. Such an uproar because of one lunatic?” Zoë wondered. “That seems a little excessive.”

“He is a very dangerous person,” her father’s brow furrowed. “An aberration from the past. His bloodline is basically extinct for a reason. He needs to be apprehended - or better even, killed. He cannot be controlled.”

He…? Zoë suddenly felt dizzy and quickly stepped over to the empty chair to lower herself into it.

“It’s not a he,” she said. “It’s a woman, her name is Annika. I’ve met her.”

Her father’s frown deepened. “What nonsense is this? It is a man, black hair, grey eyes.”

Zoë groaned, gripping the arms of the chair so hard she felt the wood quiver. “Oh god, you fucking idiot!” she exclaimed. “Who are the people who told you this bullshit? Levi is not an aberration from the past. He serves in the military with me, but someone seems to have noticed him and now keeps spinning outrageous tales about him.”

Her father cursed. Now that was a first.

“You have to believe me, father! I know the man you are alluding to! I don’t know whom he pissed off recently, but he is _not_ the person slitting MPs’ throats!”

A thought popped into her head, she wasn’t quite sure where it had come from, but very often, she could trust her head to find connections and solutions when they were most needed.

“Does this by any chance have something to do with the people using a cat emblem that isn’t a cat?”

Her father jerked back like she had just thrust a snake in his face. “What do you know about them?”

Nothing. But he did not need to know that, did he.

“I have documents with me,” she said. No need to tell him yet that the documents that she had hidden underneath her bed were completely illegible. “They’re deeply involved in a heep of shit, paying I don’t know how many bribes to people all over.”

“Do you now,” her father slowly said, her eyes taking on a far away look. “This is something Lord Reiss needs to know,” he added more to himself. “You will give me those documents.”

“Call off that MP operation,” Zoë told him. “It’s a ruse.”

“Too late for that,” her father got up abruptly, a few long strides taking him to the door. “Who cares whom they apprehend as long as it sets an example.”

And out the door he was, barking orders at who knew whom.

“Oh fuck,” Zoë groaned, and buried her face into her hands. How did she get down there in time to warn him?

###

Maria found Levi lying on his back on the floor, staring at the ceiling with the male cherubs and their huge erections thinking nothing at all.

“Do I want to know what you’re doing?” she asked, her skirts rustling softly as she sat down on the bed.

“Fuck off,” Levi whispered.

He was done with the world. Zoë had left him. Erwin had betrayed him. The Underground had him back. All his stupid notions of freedom, of making a life for himself outside - nothing but stupidity. Just like those dreams, his rage had dissipated into nothingness when nobody had barged in to assault him.

“Are you hurt?”

He shook his head. It was quite dark, he realized. Was it evening already?

“Where is everybody?” he asked, lifting his head.

“I’m not sure whom you mean. But there’s a curfew going into effect in about an hour.”

A curfew? That meant BIG Trouble. Someone upstairs putting their foot down hard. A foot in a shiny black boot, meaning to squash them, most likely. He had lived through several and they had all ended badly.

“I guess you were expecting someone else?”

Yeah, indeed. Renzo. Annika. Kenny. Or all of them at the same time. The quietness unnerved him.

“Is it true that you carry Isabel’s necklace around with you?” Maria asked abruptly.

“Whoever told you that can rot in hell,” Levi grumbled. He had no idea who knew such a thing. It was not something he had shared with anyone.

Maria laughed. “That I doubt. It was your lover.”

Levi frowned, turning his head to look at the young prostitute sitting on the bed. How did Hanji know such a thing? He shied away from thinking about Hanji quickly. It simply hurt way too much.

“I want it,” Maria said fiercely.

“Why?”

“Cause Isabel was my cousin,” Maria told him. “We were really close before… before…”

Levi’s hand went to his trouser pocket. The small pouch was there. He drew it out, opened it, looked at the content. The familiar sadness washed over him: Isabel was gone. She’d never call him Aniki again. He’d never secretly laugh at her antics again. Maybe she was in a better place. Maybe it was all a big, bad lie and she was just… gone.

Fuck all of it.

“Here,” he said and threw the pouch towards Maria.

There was silence after this and he returned to staring up at the wallpaper.

“I brought the leaves,” Maria informed him after a while.

“I don’t want them,” he said.

“Oh stop this moping!” she exclaimed, “what are you, five? Do you think I went back to your headquarters for nothing?”

“Eat them yourself,” Levi said, sitting up. He was thirsty, he realized. And hungry.

“But you will fight soon,” Maria said, matter-of-factly.

Yes, of course he would fight, what was it, two nights from now? To honor a debt and all that shit. He laughed, short and mirthless. A fight in the middle of a curfew. Fun.

“Xandra wants to see you,” Maria informed him.

“Tell her to fuck herself,” Levi answered.

“She says she wants to help you. Like she has always wanted to help you. You feel like family to her.”

“Oh sure,” Levi snickered. “She wants to help me by killing my mother. And poisoning my… poisoning Hanji.”

“She says she has information that you need.”

“I doubt it,” Levi said and pushed himself off the floor. He was wearing Hanji’s buttonless shirt. He had considered throwing it away but it did get a little cold at night. He would simply ignore that it smelled like her.

“Oh, by the way,” Maria said and got up too, neatly arranging the folds of her skirts. “Your friends are on their way back, the brats in the headquarters told me. Someone sent a letter. They’re already at Trost, expecting to return in two, max three days.”

Oh good, Levi thought fiercely. Just in time for the finale. He couldn’t wait to beat Erwin’s face into a pulp and ask him what the fuck he was playing at.

“Take me to Xandra,” he said resolutely. He felt like family to her? Excellent. No need to hold back then.


	22. Pink

"Levi... oh, Levi..."

Why was that woman crying? Annoyed, Levi narrowed his eyes at her. She was still very beautiful, with raven-black hair, slightly slanted dark eyes, a heart shaped face and skin that reminded him of peaches. He had expected to see her face and instantly feel an impulse to kill her. Instead, he looked at a beautiful, aging prostitute and felt... nothing.

He had spent many hours sitting in his mother's cupboard, he mused. Maybe that's why he reacted to the perfume more than the face? Or maybe this was the state of mind you got yourself into when you stared at cherubs with huge erections for a whole day, feeling sorry for yourself because of a woman.

"What have they done to your face..."

Absentmindedly, he touched the new swellings the Hange guards' boots had administered. They hurt, but that didn't matter. His lip had stopped bleeding a while ago - his tongue felt the new scabs forming. That didn't matter either. His lips were not needed for anything gentle in the future.

"You look just like her," Xandra sobbed, "I wasn't prepared..."

And on she went with the wailing and reminiscing. Levi wasn't in the least moved nor interested in her lamenting. She was of course lying about everything, most of all her tender, protective feelings for his mother. Xandra was one of the most powerful figures in the underground now, a clear indication of her ruthless brutality. A woman like her did nothing without gain. So... what did she gain from humoring him?

He looked at the elegant furnishings in the room, the expensive carpets, the filigrane tea cups on the table. This was a conundrum, really. What did it matter to people in the underground where he spent the rest of his life? Why did it matter whether he died fighting Titans or from living in this dirthole? He felt the woman's eyes on him, searching... for what?

Fine. As long as he didn't understand what was going on, killing 'Mother' wasn't a good idea. Besides, he wasn't in the mood for killing. God, everything was so annoying. He wanted a bath quite desperately. And more to eat - that little piece of bread Maria had shared with him had only made him hungrier.

"I was told you have information?" he cut her off.

She looked taken aback, almost offended by the interruption. Because her pity-act had no effect on him? She sat a little straighter, her bosom swelling enticingly in the dark blue silk dress. Levi wasn't surprised that she had managed to catch Erwin's attention. She was the kind of woman someone like their commander would fancy - with a history full of cutting throats. And didn't he know himself from recent experience just how muddle-headed men got around women they felt attracted to?

"You must be hungry," Xandra murmured and clapped her hands. A giant, bald man appeared at her elbow, folding his tree-like arms demurely while Xandra murmured something into his ears. He nodded and disappeared just as silently as he had appeared. Impressive.

"Will you sit down?" Xandra asked Levi.

Why not. Despite lying around all day, he felt exhausted and listless.

"I need new clothes," he said, again conscious of the ripped shirt that he was wearing. Hanji's shirt. He tugged it closed over his chest, feeling this woman's eyes travel over him in ways that discomforted him.

"What else?" she asked.

"My knife," he frowned. That's how muddle-headed one got. To the point where one forgot one had no weapon. Had Renzo taken it? There were better blades but he was quite attached to his old one.

"Don't tell me it is the one used to slit military police officers' throats."

Levi frowned at her, a sinking feeling in his stomach. She was right, Annika _had_ used it to slit a throat. And then... had she taken it? His frown deepened as he tried to recall the details of the scene with Treibel and Esmelda. Had he... had he dropped it?

He had.

"Shit," he exclaimed.

"You are the main target in an unprecedented manhunt that will start tonight," Xandra informed him, lifting up a sheet of rough paper from the coffee table. Someone had drawn a picture of him on there, he realized as she turned it around. It wasn't a very good picture, but the reward was substantial.

"Huh," Levi said. How inconvenient.

"I could have prevented this," Xandra said, sounding displeased, "but of course, you had to thwart my plans by being stubborn and uncooperative."

"How many has she killed recently?"

"Dozens," Xandra answered grimly, studying the picture intently.

"How many of those are Kenny's doing?"

Xandra's attention snapped back to his face.

"I know what he is and how he spent the recent years," Levi frowned. "I grew up with him, remember? And I saw Annika's throat slitting technique - she clearly learned it from him. Is this Kenny's scheme? Some kind of payback for old grudges against me perhaps?"

Not that he had ever understood what he had done wrong for Kenny to simply turn his back on him one day. Ridiculous that he still felt offended by it after so many years, but today was the day to mope and feel sorry for oneself, apparently.

"No," Xandra shook her head. "Kenny never wanted to hurt you."

Levi laughed bitterly. "Oh yeah, he was the most loving mentor."

"Without whom you wouldn't have survived," Xandra retorted sharply.

Interesting, so Xandra knew Kenny, and well at that? Levi filed that information away for later consideration because his whole attention was captured by the food that was arriving, many little bowls filled with an assortment of deliciously smelling things and flatbread on the side.

"Is that meat?" he asked, pointing at the brown strips in one of them as his mouth watered.

"You need your strength," Xandra smiled and invited him to eat with a grand gesture.

One thing a child from the underground learned the hard way was to eat when he could, as much as he could, because you never knew when your next meal would be. For someone like Levi, who had almost starved to death after his mother's passing, that lesson was so deeply ingrained that it took more willpower to resist a delicious meal than he currently had. Xandra watched him wolf it down with a faint smile on her painted lips. And she served him tea with the meal. An expensive one. Like she actually knew everything about him.

Once Levi couldn't possibly fit more into his stomach, he leaned back with a silent sigh. He was feeling much better already. He'd be back to his old self in no time.

"Zoë Hange is currently safe at her family's mansion in Mitras," Xandra said.

The effect of hearing Hanji's name was rather extreme. The delicious food didn't sit so well with him anymore. Instead, his throat contracted and his hands balled into fists.

"It is fascinating that someone from that family caught your attention," Xandra added. "But also quite like you. Living on the edge appeals to you."

"I don't care about families and names," Levi grumbled. "And neither does she."

"Kenny taught you a lot," Xandra sighed, "but he did not teach you subtlety. Of finesse."

Fuck finesse. He didn't like that they were discussing Hanji. Xandra shouldn't even know her name. She wanted nothing to do with her family, so why should he care whether she was a Hange, a Fritz, a Lebov or a Hohenstein?

"I will tell you something," Xandra leaned forward a little, surely well aware of the effect that movement had on her magnificent bosom. "Benjamin Hange. Your Zoë's brother? He likes to come down here quite frequently."

Levi shrugged. Who among the nobility didn't. They exploited the poor as long as it served their appetites and kicked them into the curb when they were done.

"He likes to spend his time with _men_ ," Xandra added, looking at her perfectly manicured fingernails with a rather smug expression on her face.

So what? Some liked men, some like women, some liked both and some liked none. He didn't care in the least what people did or did not do in their beds.

"... which, as you must be aware of, is a serious crime."

True. So she had dirt on Benjamin. That meant leverage. That meant power, that much Levi understood. Why she was telling him though... he had no clue.

"It was extremely stupid of you to leave the Underground and show off your skills outside," Xandra addressed him. "Kenny should have told you to hide in the shadows for the rest of your life. But would that have stopped you? Probably not."

"Are you going to tell me I'm special?" Levi scoffed. "I've heard it before, it's a load of bullshit."

"Is it? I just know what your mother told me. That she is from a family whose bloodline is a little special, going back centuries. So special that certain people are very afraid of it. Those people want to see you dead. Down here, we can protect you. That is why we called you back down."

Levi resisted an urge to laugh. This was almost as silly as those romance stories he had picked up at the library, where at least one of the protagonists had a birth secret. A special bloodline? That had served his poor mother well, hadn't it.

"But now...," Xandra sighed dramatically. "It's blown up quite spectacularly. Believe what you want, fact is, the military police are moving troops down here in mass. To catch you, dead or alive. Council Member Hange is behind it, encouraged by people like Lord Reiss."

Who was that again? Levi made an effort to recall the many faces from those dratted Council meetings he had attended by Erwin's side.

"... however, those people are not the ones to worry about."

"Definitely not," Levi agreed. Was there more tea? He needed more tea. He was starting to feel upset and that bothered him.

"Council Hange will keep quiet for his son's sake. Lord Reiss is extremely cautious. But you need to be wary of that _other_ brother," Xandra urged.

"Whose brother?"

"Lord Reiss' brother! Half-brother."

He had no idea who that was. And frankly, he didn't want to know. All he wanted was ride out, kill Titans - and spend time with Hanji in bed.

"Yeah," he said.

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you," Xandra sighed.

"I'm no fucking politician for a reason!" Levi exclaimed angrily. "I'm not interested in what these nobles think or do. I want to kill Titans. That's all."

"Yes," the tenderness in her eyes was very disturbing. "Yes, that's who you are. And that is why we will help you."

She made an expectant pause. He nodded because that seemed like a good idea.

"Renzo and I will put our differences to rest for your sake. We will all stand together against those invaders from above grounds!" She seemed very excited about the prospect. "You will fight Renzo's champion in two days. It will be the grandest event the Underground has ever seen! It will draw them all into the light. And we will destroy them."

"Good," he said. "Who is Renzo's champion?"

"Annika, of course!" Xandra exclaimed.

Of course.

"And you are meant to _kill_ her," she added. "Being my champion. But that should not be a problem, right?"

Right. No problem at all.

###

"Help me, Ben. I need to go back down."

Her brother jumped up from behind his desk like his perfectly tailored pants were on fire. "Z... Zoë," he stammered, his face draining of color as he quickly shuffled documents around to hide the piece of paper he had been studying, "how did you get in here?"

"Through the door?"

"Were they no guards?"

"Of course there were guards", she shrugged. "But I got quite the military education, y'know. Including how to sneak around without being noticed."

"Just leave. Go back to your room."

Zoë laughed. What a good joke! Then she realized that her brother was serious. Now that she got a better look at him in the flickering candlelight, she saw that he looked like death warmed over. Her appearance had shocked him but he had been worrying over something else before that. Politics... what a drag.

"You should work less, man," she said with compassion, "Ben, you look like shit."

She had not expected him to burst into tears next.

"Er...," she stepped next to him, awkwardly patting his back. "It's... going to be okay?"

He cried more, big, ugly sobs. Then he mumbled: "I'm doomed."

"Yes... can't disagree."

That they were doomed wasn't novel to her. She often thought that especially when the Survey Corps ranks were decimated too brutally during an expedition.

"She knows," her brother sobbed, "ah, the shame... the shame..."

Not a general depression then. Ah, maybe he had cheated on his wife? Zoë knew little about Beatrix Treibel though they were about the same age. Zoë hadn't taken to playing with other girls. In fact, she had beaten the mean ones to teach them a lesson, and the other families had stopped bringing them over. Convenient because nearly all of them had been mean.

"She might forgive you," Zoë assured her brother. What other choice did the poor woman have, anyway? Marriage was a golden cage for the likes of her.

"Yes, mother might... but father never will," Ben, who was obviously very serious in his misery, descended into even more misery.

Oh really? Hypocrite. Their father was decidedly not faithful to his own wife. She remembered noticing the strange flowery scents on his clothes even when she was little. She remembered her mother's stony face and the teary eyes. Her bad luck that the nobility allowed, even expected their men to keep mistresses. All for the good of the noble bloodlines, of course - one woman could breed what... ten children if she was really prolific? So better to add a host of illegitimate ones.

"I hoped to meet up with her in the underground," Ben continued miserably, "but I couldn't make time. You were the priority."

"Why don't we go down together?" Zoë exclaimed eagerly. "Then you can see her! And I can meet up with Oliver and get my hands on his chemicals."

Ben stared at her with red, wet eyes.

"What did I say?" Zoë asked, a little confused by the agonized expression on his face.

"Do you know too?" Ben's voice dropped to a miserable whisper. "Don't tell me Treibel... I might just as well kill myself."

"That's a little extreme!" Zoë frowned. "My god, don't make such a fuss. It's normal to stray, I mean... you're not the only one."

"She's blackmailing me," Ben blurted out.

"Who. Beatrix?"

Ben made an unhappy sound. "Poor Bea. No. She's a very kind, very unlucky woman."

"Who then? Your paramour?"

Ben blinked in confusion again. Okay. Zoë realized that they were probably not talking about the same thing. Nevermind, if she played this right, she had a chance to be back in the Underground tonight!

"Hey, I got to know some very powerful people down there," Zoë boasted. "I can help you. If you help me?"

"There's a curfew," Ben shook his head. "The Military Police moved hundreds of soldiers down already."

"All the more fun," Zoë grinned, relieved. If they were still mobilizing, Levi had not been caught yet. "I want to be there when Levi shows his skills and kicks their asses."

"Who?" Ben looked confused again.

"Levi. The one they're looking for."

"Zoë!" Her brother exclaimed horrified. "You know this criminal?!"

"Yes," she nodded. "I know him very well. He is not a criminal but my... friend."

He was that. That and more, she thought, much more. Too much more. She probably had some more crying to do before she was getting over this dangerous infatuation.

"Are we going?" she looked down at her attire. "My plan is perfect. First, we go by the military policy headquarters, where I steal one of their uniforms. Then, we use the stairs you usually use. I bet you have plenty of access tokens? Or a permanent permission to go down whenever you want?" That seemed to be the case since he did not object. "So you can just be yourself. And I am an officer who is assigned to protect you in case of trouble."

"That's madness," Ben's chin quivered precariously but the expression on his face changed from the deepest despair to desperate hope.

Who'd have thought. She had a brother with whom she'd break the law.

###

Xandra had suggested that Levi lie low until the big event two nights from now. He had no energy to object. Maybe a bit of leisure would restore him to his old self. Besides, her establishment had a bathing facility that he used at length, after which he found new clothes laid out for him. He wasn't surprised that they fit him perfectly. She had even found him a knife that looked similar to his.

Presently, Levi was lying on the huge bed in the room she had assigned to him and stared up at the colorful canopy. There was nothing tacky about Xandra and her business. Every piece of furniture, every mirror, every picture on the walls was chosen with care and taste. The theme of the room he was in was "forest". There were faces of wood sprites hidden among the leaves above him and while one part of his brain was engaged in finding all of them, another part mulled over the situation he was in.

Erwin would return tomorrow. He wouldn't find Levi at the headquarters. Levi wasn't sure what kind of punishment he'd get for disobeying a 'confined to barracks' order. More than a slap on the wrist for sure. A trial, more likely. Or would he be discharged dishonorably? Erwin wouldn't show him any mercy, of that he was sure. The man didn't like him one bit, which wasn't surprising, seeing how he knew that Levi had been ready to kill him at Lebov's orders. But tempt a gutter rat with a place in the sun and wouldn't it do just anything to get it?

Levi pressed his lips together. Honestly, he was quite impressed with Erwin. Never before in his life had he met anyone as brave, merciless and cunning. Which brought him back to the question that nagged at him. What was Erwin's involvement in this mess he was in? He couldn't help but feel their Commander had _wanted_ him to disobey his orders - but that made no sense. And it didn't make any sense that Erwin would have left Hanji behind, knowing full well that her curiosity was like a force of nature, unless he had wanted _both_ of them to disobey his orders. But again, why? What did he know?

"Underhanded bastard," Levi grumbled.

If he was kicked out of the military, what would he do? Farming? He had never in his life planted anything and just knew how anxious he would be over the health of his crops. Too stressful. Livestock? The first time he had seen a cow, he had had a hard time not stare. He didn't even understand how these animals could stay upright on legs that thin. Selling teas, perhaps? But he knew nothing about keeping a shop. In fact, he was good at exactly one thing and that was fighting. And previously, stealing. Pah.

His mood, which had already been bad, took a nosedive. If only Furlan, the big idiot, hadn't been so noble. If only there were no debts and honor pledges and laws of the underground that he simply couldn't break because...

"Because I'm a stupid moron," Levi said and jammed his fists into his trouser pockets.

Something was in there and he pulled it out, wrinkling his nose when a strange smell hit his nostrils. The leaves. Hanji's leaves, for him. Because she had been worried about him.

Damn, he missed her. But at least she was safe. And the message he had sent her would ensure that she was there when Erwin returned, one less thing to worry about.

He lifted the dried stuff to his nose and sniffed. Disgusting. He peeled one off and put it into his mouth.

Bitter, it made him gag. He chewed, then swallowed. Instantly, an explosion of colors went off in his brain.

"Holy fuck," he said.

Funny. Why was everything so pink all of a sudden? One of the wood sprites winked at him and poked his tongue out.

"Just you wait!" Levi shouted. "I'll catch you!"

###

"He is here?!" Zoë couldn't believe her luck. But her heart started beating so fast, she had to steady herself briefly against a wall. Here! She'd see him again, so soon.

"Yes, isn't that why you have come?"

"Actually, seeing the military presence out on the streets, I was expecting him to hide... you know, not in plain sight?"

Maria was wearing Isabel's necklace, Zoë noticed, which made her smile a little. Levi didn't deserve anyone's hate.

Maria shrugged and grinned. "I'd do the same. It's never a good idea to threaten the underground, just wait and be surprised! So... you wanna see him or what?"

Zoë nodded, throwing a brief look at the door behind which her brother Ben had disappeared. Apparently, the 'she' from Ben's story was no paramour, but Xandra. Which made Zoë suspect that whoever was blackmailing Ben was Xandra as well. Which was... not good. But why did she even care? It wasn't like she wanted to be a member of the Hange family anymore. Her brother was a big boy and could sort this out himself. Right?

Feeling uneasy anyway, she followed Maria through the familiar looking corridors with black velvet tapestry until they got to a green door at which Maria pointed. "That's where he is."

Someone was talking inside. That was Levi's voice. What was he so agitated about?

"Don't wear him out," Maria grinned. "Big fight coming up."

"Uh...," to her mortification, Zoë turned red, then remembered the humiliation her father had subjected Levi to on this same day and was suddenly not so sure anymore she was brave enough to face him.

"Have fun!" Maria waved and walked away.

Zoë took a deep breath. Levi was still talking behind the door, uncharacteristically fast. To whom? Zoë gripped the handle, pressed it down and opened the door a crack.

Levi was alone. He was sitting on the huge bed, gesticulating at a bedpost.

"What the fuck are you doing?" she quickly closed the door behind her. Levi didn't even turn his head but continued to babble excitedly about a special maneuver he wanted to bedpost to try.

"Fuck, what did they give you?" Zoë asked, stepping closer, trying to catch a glimpse of his eyes, a wave of worry chasing away the rest of her anxieties.

Levi's head finally swiveled around when she waved her hands through the air to catch his attention.

"Huh," he said. "Someone's here."

His pupils were huge, making him look like a puppy. Zoë's stupid heart fluttered when his lips curved upwards as he gazed at her face in rapture.

"I am seeing things," he murmured and chuckled.

"Uhm, no," Zoë stepped even closer. "I'm here. And that's a good thing, apparently, because look at yourself! You're high! Dammit, Levi. Can't I leave you alone for a few hours?"

"Oh," he said, tilting his head to one side to study her. "What is this."

"I need to find Oliver," Zoë said, talking slowly in case he had trouble following her. "I brought the documents back, he should have the chemicals I need to clean them. I remembered a book in the library at my parents' mansion which I used to study as a child, full of the most useful stuff. I know now what to do to remove the blood."

"How smart my imagination is," Levi murmured, fixating something behind her with his huge eyes, "almost like the real Hanji." He groaned miserably. "By the walls, I miss her."

"You idiot," Zoë said affectionately, her heart in her throat. "I missed you more."

But Levi's expression suddenly darkened and he leaned forward as if something about her disturbed him.

"Don't tell me... Hanji. Hanji, is this you?"

" _What_ did they give you," she sighed. "I'm getting sick of these poison schemes! Yes. Again: It's me. I'm here. I need to find Oliver."

Still frowning darkly, Levi pulled something out of his trousers and glared at it. Leaves. _The_ leaves.

"Shit, Levi!" Zoë exclaimed. She rushed over and ripped them from his hand. _The first dose always has a strong effect_ , he had said. Apparently, a _very_ strong effect.

"Ugh," he said.

"Are you feeling sick?" she asked, sinking down next to him on the bed. She put her hand on his forehead - warm. "How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked, waving a few fingers in his face.

"Fucking idiot!" he yelled suddenly, making her jerk back in alarm. "You shouldn't be here!"

"Yes, I am delighted to see you too," she murmured, peering into his eyes up close. He had trouble focusing. "What are you feeling? Buzzing? Numbness? Dizziness?"

"I am going to drag you out of here myself this time," he said dangerously and grabbed both her arms. "Get your ass back to HQ immediately, Erwin is due back tomorrow!"

Oh, great.

"And leave you down here to mess up even more? Nope. Up, you dumbass! We're going to see Oliver, by which time you're hopefully sober again."

He stared at her. Lord, had he always smelled this enticing?

"All I wanted is for you to be safe," he lamented. "And now everything was for naught, you stupid cow."

"But I don't want to be safe if you're not," she gave back, shaking his hands off. "Don't decide things over my head _ever again_."

He looked like he had difficulties processing this information, muttering obscenities under his breath. Her eyes dropped to his lips and she shuddered. What exactly was the status of their relationship?

... his lips were...?

"Levi," her eyes grew round, "take off your clothes!"

He stopped talking and blinked at her.

"Quickly!" Zoë leaned forward to undo his buttons. "We have no time."

"Go away," he said, swatting at her hands.

"This is important," she insisted. "Hold still!"

"Ah! Ticklish!" he squealed when she tried to move her hands under the shirt to make faster progress.

"For crying out loud! Don't be so prudish all of a sudden," she redoubled her efforts, finally managing to lift the shirt far enough to see Levi's ribs.

"I'll be damned," Zoë whistled, moving her hand over his smooth torso. "What the fuck are you?"

Healed. He was fully healed. His lips, his face, his entire body.

"Hmmm," he hummed, "that's nice. Keep touching me."

"Levi, stop," she said, blushing, reluctantly pushing his shirt back down. "We need to go."

But Levi grabbed her hands and brought them to his face, inhaling deeply.

"Hmmmm," he said again. "You smell so nice. Like the grass when the sun shines on it."

Her heart slammed against her chest like a sledgehammer. It was a good thing she was sitting down cause her legs felt like jelly.

"And you're strong and brave," he continued, leaning forward a little to gaze deeply into her eyes, "and so very beautiful."

What?! "I'm not..."

"Shush," he interrupted her and put a finger against her lips. "All that talking."

And then his lips, his miraculously healed lips, were on hers , warm and gentle, and she felt like she was sinking down, slowly, weightless, safe. She slung her arms around his neck, feeling relief flood her senses, relief so great she wanted to cry. He wasn't angry. He didn't think that one night was sufficient either. They were in deep shit but at least they were in deep shit together.

They kissed slowly, like they had all the time in the world, but something was building between them, something monumental and beautiful, a feeling so strong she felt she might burst open any second. Was she going to cry again? She buried her hands in his hair, deepening the kiss. Closer. She wanted him closer. She never wanted to let go.

"Like cotton candy," he murmured. What?

The door was ripped open and they jerked apart like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

"Sorry to interrupt," Maria threw them only a brief look before running to the window to open it, "but he's gotta leave - fast. The MP is here. They're conducting a search."

"Why did you dye your hair pink?" Levi asked her, visibly taken aback.

"What?" Maria grimaced, "are you insane? Hurry up now."

Pink?

"Am I pink too?" Zoë asked, pulling him up and to the window. Her lips were throbbing where they had touched his. Greedy. Hungry.

"Yes, of course!" Levi snorted. "Are you dumb? I told you it's really pretty."

"You're a fucking idiot," Zoë rammed her elbow into his side and then, laughter was bubbling out of her and she couldn't stop.

"You're crazy," he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Look who's talking," she chortled.

He jumped. Straight out of the window. Her heart stopped.

"Levi!" she squealed when she unfroze, rushing forward in horror. They were on the fourth floor! The idiot had forgotten?!

"I should never have given him those leaves," she moaned, leaning forward.

But there he was, unharmed, dusting off his shirt. He looked around, then up to her, frowning.

"Coming or what?" he snarled. "Just because you're pink doesn't mean you can dawdle."

"I'm going to kill you," Zoë gritted her teeth as she carefully climbed out of the window and grabbed a drainpipe to climb down.


	23. Science

“Aha!” Oliver pushed his protective goggles up into his white hair, his watery blue eyes glittering. “I think that could work! And where, you say, have you read about this method?”

“In a book. It’s in the Hange family library.”

Zoë did not like the look on the old man’s ruddy face one bit. It was the look of someone eaten up by greed. And yet, she could appreciate what knowledge was worth, especially to someone like him, whose life depended on it.

It was only the second time she had come to the Underground, but this time, she felt way better prepared. Not that she could claim to fully understand what the people living here went through on a daily basis, but getting to know some of them in the last week had given her a pretty good idea about what drove them: Survival. An old man like Oliver would survive exactly as long as he was useful. And he remained useful as long as he stayed ahead of everyone else when it came to substances. Which he needed to demonstrate. On people like her.

“We don’t know what kind of ink was used though,” she added. “So we better be ultra careful. I suggest we start here? In this corner and work our way across the first line to see whether this tincture really works.”

Oliver nodded eagerly. “We could try to add more sodium carbonate if the first mixture is not right, because…”

“Extraordinary,” Levi yelled.

Oliver darted around in alarm. Zoë groaned. Oh no. Levi was crouching on a table, staring at a bottle in his hand.

“Look how pretty,” Levi beamed, holding the bottle towards them, his face lit up by childlike joy.

“Don’t mind him,” Zoë murmured. That much for keeping Levi’s vulnerable condition a secret.

“It wasn’t me!” Oliver squealed, his hands defensively outstretched. “I would never dare to…”

“It’s okay,” she sighed. “I know it wasn’t you.”

She had instructed Levi to keep _very_ quiet, several times. Oliver was not to be trusted, that much was clear from their previous interactions and she didn’t want him to know that Levi was tripping on pink things right now. Even worse, she didn’t want him to know about the fast healing. The freakishly fast healing. Which… well, she’d eventually get there. Of course, telling Levi to keep very quiet in his current state was completely useless.

She still couldn’t believe their damn luck getting here without being stopped by a patrol. She had tried to get Levi to use those back alley ways but he bounced around like a mad rabbit, flitting here and there to look at ‘extraordinary things’, babbling excitedly about how pretty it all was. She had almost shit her pants at every glimpse of a uniform from afar. But nobody sane would use the main street if he was the prime target in a manhunt, which had most likely saved him from being recognized. Or maybe it was his size and current behavior. He looked like a boy. He behaved like a child.

“Is he…,” Oliver stepped towards Levi to peer into his face.

“It suits you,” Levi nodded appreciatively at Oliver before returning the bottle to the shelf. Then he stood up on tiptoes to see what was at the very top.

“Pink,” Zoë explained.

“Pink?” Oliver’s confusion was plain obvious.

“He sees everything in pink hues and seems to like it a lot. He probably thinks your hair is pink.”

“Huh,” Oliver scratched his head. “And what is…”

“Those,” Zoë sighed, pulling the leaves from her jacket.

“What is this?” Oliver bent over the plant, sniffed one leaf, took it between his fingers to rub it, then held it against the light.

“I’m not sure,” Zoë admitted. “I found them during one of our expeditions outside the walls. One of the horses ate them and started to behave strangely so I took some home. I haven’t had time to look into it more deeply...”

“Outside the walls, you say…” Oliver frowned and walked to a bookshelf, his fingers gliding along the spines of the leather bound volumes in there. “Hm. Hmmm, hmhmhmmmm. In here… maybe?”

He pulled out a book and started flipping the pages. Curious, Zoë stepped closer to look over his shoulder.

“That’s a pretty book,” Levi said right at her ear and she jumped back in surprise, colliding with his solid, warm body.

“Hmmmm,” he hummed, slinging his arms around her middle, sniffing her neck.

“Get off,” she hissed at him, though in truth? Childlike behavior or not, she was turned on massively since stepping into that room at Xandra’s. Just his presence was enough to make her nerves tingle. “Can’t you see I’m working?”

“But you smell so nice,” he cooed.

“Off!” she elbowed him in the stomach. The very hard stomach. That she wanted to touch with her fingers because she liked the feeling of those taut muscles underneath his warm skin. He was a damn distraction she really couldn’t use right now.

She wiggled in his arms and he let go with a shrug, walking over to the other side of Oliver’s lab, to study different powders in boxes.

“This?” Oliver, who seemed not to have noticed their exchange, was pointing his finger at the picture of a plant in the book. “No. No, that’s not it --- or is it?”

He began flicking through the botanical book again, faster and faster. There were a lot of strange plants in there, Zoë realized. Strange… and unknown to her. He stopped at a section with bushes.

“What kind of book is this?” Zoë tried to see what he was studying, but his hand was obstructing her view. A bush called El… El-something.

“Not one I should have,” Oliver chuckled. “It’s forbidden.”

Oh. Ohhhhhhhh!

“Can I… can I touch it?” Zoë’s fingers trembled as much as her voice. She had heard of forbidden books before but she had never seen one. They were forbidden because they contained ‘lies about the outside world’, the government claimed. She had always wondered how they knew they were lies when they had never even seen the outside?

“Yeah… okay. But be careful!” reluctantly, Oliver placed the heavy tome into her outstretched hands.

Zoë felt like she was about to faint. “This is… this is…”

Oh, how much she wanted to own this book! There were the most wondrous pictures in there. This strangely shaped thing for example on this randomly opened page… _Ba-na-na,_ she read. What was it? A berry, apparently, tasty, the book claimed and nutritious. And it grew on a tree? A tree that grew in… she squinted. Was that a place?

“You’ve been to the outside,” Oliver said, snatching the book back before she could prevent it. “Is it true? Have you seen this?”

A banana?

“No,” Zoë sighed. “I’ve not seen anything like this. Do you think someone would go through the trouble of making all of this up though?”

Oliver shrugged. “It’s no use anyway,” he put the book on the table resolutely. “It’s not like we can leave.”

Zoë looked at the book with a sudden, painful longing. The outside. Going forward and not having to turn back after a few days. An excursion that lasted not a few weeks but months… years? Studying Titans every day, for months. That was her dream.

But there was no time to dream. Oliver had moved to the crumpled, red-brown documents on the table and she hurried to his side, not wanting him alone with them. They argued about the right mix of ingredients for their dissolvent, messing up the first four attempts. She suggested adding a bit of liquid soap at one stage. While she worked, he pulled different sponges and brushes to use for the application from a drawer. She put a halt to the first attempt immediately when she realized the tincture was still too wet, threatening to damage the paper. They were lucky though, the paper was thick, apparently high quality. They added sodium carbonate and tried again. Very carefully, Zoë applied the now thicker liquid with a sponge, counted to ten, and used another sponge to blot it off.

“I’ll be damned,” she murmured, feeling a thrill race through her like a thunderbolt.

There it was. A little smudged, granted, but clearly visible: the emblem with the cat that wasn’t a cat, at the bottom of the first page.

“Panther,” Oliver whispered.

“What’s that?”

“It’s an animal. Deadly. Those are in another forbidden book.”

“Can I see it…?”

“Later, maybe,” he smacked his lips, taking the sponge from her to clean the next segment of the document. Zoë’s fingers twitched but she held herself back. She could be generous and let him have some fun too.

From the corner of her eye, she saw that Levi was drifting nearer again in his appreciation of pretty pink things in the laboratory.

_Stay away_ , she thought. She didn’t want his eyes to realize she wasn’t pink and pretty at all, but too tall, too thin, and utterly plain. He’d recall his real feelings once he was no longer under the influence. She didn’t want to be there when he did.

Shaking her head slightly to get rid of unpleasant thoughts, she bent over the document again. Oliver had halfway revealed the first line at the bottom.

“... these reasons that they cannot be allowed to roam freely,” she read. Huh. And above it, “... immune to…”, immune to what? Who? She bent closer. Was that… was that the word for “Titan”?

“Oups,” Oliver had spilled too much chemicals on the document and hurried to contain the damage. “Could you please give me…,” he gesticulated towards a drawer and Zoë jumped to open it. It contained an assortment of rags that she grabbed with both hands.

“Here,” she said, “you have to be more ca…”

She saw the powder in Oliver’s hand too late to turn away.

“I’m sorry,” he said as he blew it into her face.

Son of a bitch.

“Ah!” she screamed. It burnt like hell, in her eyes, in her nose, in her throat. She heard heavy footsteps, the door opening, then silence. “Levi, stop him!” she gurgled.

Then, the sneezing and retching started. Her eyes were screaming tears, her nose was dripping snot. Her throat was tight, her lungs burnt. She doubled over, blind and deaf for a while, not even able to curse for fear of suffocation.

“Gah!” she screamed when ice cold water was dumped on her without warning.

And: “Fuck!” when another bucket followed.

Levi was bent over her, took off her glasses and dappled at her eyes with a wet rag. Then, he pulled her head back roughly and poured water into her involuntarily open mouth. And up her nose.

“You fucking bastard!” she screamed when she was done spluttering and able to breathe again.

“Better?” he asked. His own wet hair was dripping on her.

She was on the floor, in a puddle, her head in his lap. Helplessly, she turned her face away and retched until her throat was raw. Maybe her snot and bile looked appealing in pink?

“Still pretty?” she pressed out, shivering in her wet clothes.

“Not in the least,” he replied drily, turned her head back around resolutely and washed out her eyes again with the rag he still held. She pushed his hands away angrily.

“I don’t believe this,” she pressed her lips together tightly. Duped. _Again._ How gullible could one person be?

“Up,” Levi said and pushed her into a sitting position. “We better leave.”

She saw that his eyes were deeply red before she felt the pungent chemical in her respiratory tract again. The sneezing started up anew.

“I told you to stop him!” she snapped at Levi once she had recovered.

“You needed help,” he shrugged. He pulled her to her feet and put her glasses onto her nose.

Fuck. Oliver had taken all three documents, she realized. Where to? Or better… to whom?

A clamor started outside before she could yell at Levi some more, an ugly, resonating sound like someone smashed metal against metal.

“What’s that?” she asked, shivering again because… my god, this sound gave you a smashing headache.

“The signal for lights out,” Levi said, looking up at the ceiling. “The curfew is beginning. Let’s go on the roof! It’s quite the spectacle.”

“Levi…,” she began, before a new bout of sneezing shut her up. She wasn’t even sure what she had wanted to say. He simply took her by the hand and pulled her along, out of the room, up the stairs. And why resist? She was done. She had had a plan, but she had lost the most important element of it to Oliver, that fucking bastard. She might as well follow Levi onto another roof and hope stupidly they would get out of this mess somehow before it ended badly for both of them.

###

Levi did not fully understand why Hanji was here with him. The gap in his memories was fucking eerie as was the cocktail of warring feelings churning in his chest. He knew with certainty that she shouldn’t be here - because he remembered that getting her to safety had been his major goal - but he was almost dizzy with excitement that she _was_ here - because he remembered how he had felt after she had left.

Like dying.

She had left him, now she was back. That was what counted. So yes, he was happy… and at the same time nervous. And tense, but in a good way. A little angry too, because she had defied him. But really, mainly… excited. Like a goddamn child.

His best memories of the underground were of curfews. He was thrilled that Hanji was about to share this experience with him.

It was warm enough up on the roof but Hanji still shivered from time to time in her drenched uniform and he thought about hugging her for warmth but didn’t dare to do it. She was clearly angry with him, for a variety of complicated reasons, some of which he could easily guess. For starters, he should have told her about her father coming down to fetch her instead of using the opportunity to have her dragged away.

His hand went to his face, which seemed fine - no pain when he prodded his cheekbones. His lips were fine too. Good. Because he meant to kiss her. Later. If she let him.

_And your vow?_

He frowned. He wanted to tell his conscience to fuck itself. But he _had_ vowed to walk away from her, it was true and didn’t he keep his promises? _But I_ did _walk away. Well, I made_ her _go away… but she’s back. If she wants to share a bed again with me, what can I do?_

He recognized his own reasoning for what it was: a lame, cowardly excuse that put the decision about their future squarely on her shoulders. Which meant: it was good that she was angry with him. Curfew nights often went out of hand. He couldn’t guarantee he wouldn’t do anything stupid. A fist to the face from her might manage to set him straight.

The wide expanse of the underground cave was filled with the ugly noise of the curfew bell. Speaking was impossible but Levi signalled a visibly wary Zoë to look ahead. She frowned at him. Her eyes were irritated and red just like his but he was sure he had gotten the worst of Oliver’s knockout powder out of her system, it would itch for a while longer but that was it.

He’d have to ask her what they had been doing in Oliver’s laboratory but now was not the time.

The clanking noise went into a mad crescendo and just when it seemed the cave was about to collapse from the vibration, it stopped… the sudden silence an almost palpable force that pressed against your eardrums uncomfortably.

Then all the lights went out.

Hanji gasped and his hand searched for hers to press it reassuringly. The blackness was absolute and terrifying, like a huge blanket thrown over them to stifle all life. He held his breath, even though he knew what was coming.

And then the singing started. It was one lone voice somewhere to their left, joined by another to the right after a few beats, then another, another… the defiance of the underground became louder and louder and Levi felt his tongue form the familiar words and his vocal cords add the sounds and it had to be this weird state of mind he was still in because at this very moment, he loved the people down here fiercely, for everything they were, for everything they had endured, for their strength and stubbornness despite it all.

_… a cage is not a cage if you choose to ignore the bars_

_a man will not be kept below if he reaches for the stars_

_ye who come to press us down will be the ones to fail_

_the stairs will not forget your sins and we will countervail..._

Lights were lit all around them, in windows, up on roofs, on the stairs, dancing like fireflies in the darkness. Levi pulled out a candle he had taken from one of Oliver’s shelves from underneath his clothes, lit it and handed it to Hanji.

“It’s beautiful,” Hanji whispered.

“Yes,” he replied, his voice hoarse, his heart full. The candle illuminated her face with a warm, flickering light, making her eyes shine like amber jewels.

“What is happening?” she asked.

There were heavy boots echoing in the streets below. Someone shouted a sharp command.

“Kids giving the MP a merry chase,” Levi answered.

“To vex them?”

“Yes,” he grinned. “There are prizes to be won for the most daring. Once, I managed to steal a rifle.”

“You did, did you?” she grinned too. “So whenever there’s a curfew, you lot…”

“... go all out,” Levi said proudly.

They sat on the roof for a while, just watching the lights and listening to the sounds.

“You know they’re looking for you?” she asked after a while.

“Apparently.”

“What are you, Levi?”

The question hung between them in the air, a riddle he had no answer to. He was a boy from the Underground who had wanted to escape the darkness. He had managed to. Now he was back and it felt like home - but it didn’t scare him that he felt that way. Maybe because of her. She was not of this world. She was a creature of light. But she had come back to him and he was no longer afraid the Underground had an unwanted hold on him. Because she would pull him back into the light if he needed her to.

He would tell her. What she was to him. If not now, then never.

“Hanji…”

“Do you still see the world in pink hues?” she cut him short.

Pink…? He frowned. Was she crazy?

“No,” he grumbled. “It’s dark, I don’t see much at all.”

“You ate those leaves.”

Fuck, the leaves… “Yes, one,” he shifted his weight.

“And then, what happened?”

What was this, an interrogation?

“I don’t remember,” he said, suddenly angry. That was why he had a gap in his memories! The leaves. His hand went to his trousers, but they were no longer there. There was something else underneath his shirt though, something heavy.

“Does this happen every time you take something with an effect on the body?”

“I told you that it does,” he gave back. But not like this ever before.

She nodded solemnly. “Can I run tests with you? When we’re back in the Survey Corps.”

“No, you can’t run tests with me,” he objected. “I’m not an experiment!”

“Well, maybe you are,” she said quietly. “Like they are saying.”

Like they are saying.

“Listen to me, Hanji,” Levi said, suddenly feeling the air between them, a gulf that separated them. “It is not the first time the MP mobilizes to catch me. I stepped on too many toes in my previous life. It’s what it is - the rich don’t like it when we poor make a good life for ourselves.”

“That’s not it, Levi,” she objected. “We are not like that.”

It hurt to hear the ‘we’ from her lips. It made the chasm grow bigger. Soon, it would grow too big and then what? He needed her to believe in the possibility of escape.

“I’m not like that,” she added. “And it’s not because you stepped on someone’s toes. You healed. Very fast, Levi. Almost as fast as…”

She swallowed nervously.

“What are you saying?” he asked slowly.

“Remember the wounds you got from Annika? They’re gone. I sent Maria for those leaves because I was afraid you would decide to fight despite the state you were in and…”

“Fuck, the fight! What day is it?!” He jumped up.

“It would have been tomorrow,” she said, looking up at him with big, glittering eyes.

He sat back down. “ _Is_ tomorrow,” he corrected her and crossed his arms. At the same time, he pressed his fingers against his side. His hand… mended. His ribs… nothing. Suddenly, he felt lost and it made him dizzy. Had more time passed then she was telling him? But then why was the fight only tomorrow?

“Why are you even here?” he snapped.

“I wonder,” Hanji answered, turning her head away from him. “I guess… well, you apparently don’t need me. But I wanted to get those documents cleaned just in case. For leverage. And my brother… he needed help though I don’t understand that part either. No, I’m not sure what I wanted.”

_You apparently don’t need me?_

“Annoying,” he grumbled, feeling something like panic in his gut. She thought he didn’t need her? That was… not true.

“You’re not going to fight, are you?” she asked.

“What. Of course I’m going to fight!”

“But you can’t. The MP will catch you.”

“Will not.”

“Levi!”

“Trust me.”

Hanji laughed.

“It strikes you as funny that I ask you that?” he snapped.

“Hilarious,” she chuckled. “Look where trusting you has gotten me. Erwin is due back any moment. We’re not where we should be. Instead of hurrying back up to HQ, we’re down here on a rooftop during a curfew - and you’re telling me you will take part in some crazy fighting scheme to do… what? Pay back a debt that isn’t even yours but Furlan’s? It’s _insane_ , Levi.”

“Then why did you come back,” he barked at her.

“Because…”, she faltered.

“I see,” he said grimly and turned his back at her. The book he had wedged into his trousers shifted and he pulled it out, annoyed at everything.

Hanji gasped. “How… Levi! You stole Oliver’s book?”

“You liked it, I think,” he grumbled, remembering why taking the book before leaving the room had seemed like a good idea. He turned back around, holding it out. “Here. It’s for you.”

“Oh, Levi!” her eyes were so big and brown and soft and he blinked at them, thoughts and anger fleeing his mind completely. “Thank you!” She took the book from his hands and bent forward to kiss him.

_Smack_. On the lips.

So that’s how it was. He just needed to give her science-things and she would kiss him?

“Okay, I’ll let you do it,” he said.

“Hm?” she was busy staring at the first page.

“Test things on me,” he said. “When we’re back.”

Her head snapped up. “You will?”

“Yes,” he nodded. “Anything you want.”

“Anything?” she squealed.

Oh boy. “Y… yes,” he nodded again. “I mean I hope it will not hurt…?”

“Don’t worry,” her eyes had grown even larger, “I won’t cut you. It’s the first time you healed this fast, right? I was with you the many other times you got hurt and had to heal just like normal humans. I mean… hm. Maybe you _do_ heal faster than a normal human though, I mean, remember when you…”

By the walls, the woman knew of every single injury he had ever obtained in the field and how long it had taken him to recover. Levi watched her lips move.

“All that talking,” he said.

“... and then…,” she stopped mid-sentence.

“I want to kiss you,” Levi blurted out.

“Yes,” she said and blushed a most adoring pink.

Yes… yes? His heart beating in his throat, he took her face into his hands and put his lips on hers. Gently. They were soft. Hmmm, and sweet. She tasted like cotton candy. He would get her some and then lick the taste off her lips, double cotton candy flavor, pure heaven.

Hanji melted against him so unexpectedly that he startled. She put her hands into his hair and began to caress the back of his head with slow motions of her fingers and he… he loved it. She opened her lips and he followed her invitation, letting his tongue explore the warmth and softness of her. A creature of light, having the power to save people like him...

What the fuck was he doing.

“No,” she whispered against his lips, holding his head more firmly so that he couldn’t pull back. “No, we’re not done, Levi.”

It was as simple as that. They were not done. They had not even really begun.


	24. Curfew Night

Kissing Levi on a rooftop in the Underground while its people defied the Military Police’s curfew orders was one of the best things Zoë had ever experienced in her life. That realization surprised her a little - but really only a very little because thinking coherent thoughts was quite impossible once the kissing started in earnest.

Holy cow. As far as kisses went, it seemed she had not yet come to realize what they could be - or rather, what they could _do_ to her. Like make her toes curl and all the hair on her body stand on end. Her breasts came to stiff, eager attention. Liquid fire spread from her belly down to the place between her legs. And this was just a kiss.

But how silly of her… there were no ‘justs’ with Levi. It was ‘all in’, always, didn’t she know that?

Leaning back, she pulled Levi down with her by the neck, wanting to feel more of his delicious little body against hers. That hardness, that strength, that tension in him - her womanly parts pulsed needily. She had seen animals behave better than this but she wanted to rip her trousers off and couple with him immediately, hard and fast. And then do it again, slow and tender, with cuddling and soft kisses on foreheads and the likes. And then once again, hard and fast, just to be able to compare and decide what she liked better.

The Mister seemed to have a different conception of how this was going to continue though... with more of the ‘just kissing’ that wasn’t ‘just’ kissing, but a maddening, teasing foreplay. It was like he was performing push-ups on top of her, merely touching her anywhere! It wouldn’t do.

Zoë took her hands off his neck to open his shirt. Let her touch his skin at least! But instantly, her body began to slide away underneath him.

“Careful!” Levi slammed one of his legs down to stabilize her, bumping her right where she needed it. “We already did the falling off a roof, remember? I didn’t think it was much fun.”

“Don’t care,” she was breathing too fast and began to feel lightheaded. “Get those trousers off!”

She could feel that he was as ready as she was. His arousal was hot and hard against her leg and it made her almost frantic - she brought her hands down to unfasten his pants. Breathing heavily, Levi shifted his weight a little to give her access but immediately, the sliding started again.

“Shit,” she slammed her hands onto the roof and rammed the heels of her boots down to stop it. Why was the roof so slippery? Her fingers met something organic - moss? Fungi? Whatever it was, this part of Oliver’s roof was slick with it.

“And here I was wondering for a moment why I never thought of rutting on a slanted roof before,” he murmured.

She didn’t want to think about a before without her there to partake, it made an ugly feeling rear its head inside of her. She’d throw the Annikas of this world off the city wall straight into a Titan’s mouth if necessary.

And then she remembered something that brought even uglier feelings.

“The book!” she squealed, “where’s my book!”

He shifted once more and brought one of his hands in front of her eyes to show her what he had been clutching all this time. Sweet relief flooded her.

“Aw, you saved it!” What extraordinary sense and control! He deserved a medal for this. She lifted her own hands to take the invaluable possession from him.

Mistake.

“Shit!” she yelled, grappling for something to hold on to when her body pivoted sideways. There was only him. He grunted in surprise when her flailing hands grabbed him around the middle. Both his hands shoot upwards to find something to hold on to. Which meant that he let go of her book after all. It sailed past her majestically and slowly, like it wanted to showcase its full beauty on its last journey. Then it picked up speed.

“My book! My beautiful book!” she whimpered, diving after it.

She caught it right before it plunged to its death. She felt a moment of triumph before she realized that now they would plunge to their deaths together. If only she had had some time to read it. What a waste.

“You fucking idiot!” Just when she was about to go over and down, Levi managed to catch one of her ankles. She was grateful, of course. But when he started to curse her fouly for her stupidity, she felt a little defensive.

“Do you even know how valuable this is!” she shouted into the void before her since turning her head around wasn’t working out well.

“It can’t be more valuable than your life,” he shouted back.

“Much more valuable than my life!” she yelled angrily. “It’s a key to humanity’s past!”

He said something that sounded vicious and contained the words “lunatic”, “abnormal”, “how do I deserve this”. Her boot began to slip off her foot. The whole situation struck her as very comical.

“Let go of the damn book and hold onto the edge of the roof at least!” he screamed.

“No!” Zoë cradled the book against her chest.

“I’m really going to kill you!” he raged.

Strange that a strong wave of tenderness swept through her those harsh words. Maybe it was the desperation she heard in his voice. But maybe it wasn’t strange at all... Why try to deny it? She really liked him. A lot. A _lot_ lot.

“I love you too,” she murmured so softly he would not be able to hear it.

“Just…,” his grip briefly lessened and she gasped, but the pressure of his hand was back the next moment. “I’m going to…”

He let go.

Zoë had always hoped that when she would die, she would be free of regrets. The deaths that haunted her were the pointless, pathetic ones. This right here? Ultra pathetic. She was clutching a book she had had no time to read to her chest and was going to break her neck falling off a roof in the Underground, after going through so much trouble to get here.

She regretted. So many things. Not having enough time. With him. To live beside him. To move through life together a little bit longer.

She was falling. Closing her eyes seemed the right thing to do.

Her eyes flew open again when Levi’s arms came around her like iron braces, robbing her of breath for a second. She wanted to shout at him for endangering his own life, because what was the point of dying together in such a pathetic way? But her tongue was in knots. Truly ultra pathetic, but his face was near, so near. She put her cheek against his and closed her eyes again.

There was a brutal jolt, she heard how he gritted his teeth - then no more falling. They were hanging upside down, halfway off the roof.

“Let it go,” he demanded dangerously.

She shook her head meekly, hanging onto her stubbornness even though she knew how futile that was.

“You will use my body to climb up,” his voice dropped lower, the fury in it unmistakable. “Or I swear I will destroy every fucking book in this world.”

He probably meant it. Zoë looked up. A rope. Around his ankle. They were dangling over the abyss together. Safe… for the moment. Until that rope ripped. It looked a little old.

“I promise that I will go fetch your book from the street after you are back on that roof.”

“But it…”

“It’s a fucking _book_. It will survive the fall.”

Zoë sighed. Then, she dropped the book. She hated to lose arguments.

###

Levi was shaking with anger. There it was, the stupid book, barely visible in the dark. Face down with its pages open, it lay in a filthy puddle. He kicked it for good measure, hard, catapulting it into the air, where it flipped over twice with a silly rustling sound.

“Goddammit, is that you, Levi?” a voice addressed him from the shadows. “Get off the street, you arrogant fool!”

It was Maria, carrying a shuttered lantern before her, looking kinda pretty in a frilly purple frock with her golden hair all curly and shiny.

“I thought I heard your voice,” she continued, turning her head from left to right but the street was empty. “Why were you shouting? Do you want to be caught?”

He wanted exactly one thing right now, which was to murder a book.

“What is it,” he snapped at the young woman.

“A few of us are out looking for you,” she said, sounding rather chipper, “the party is about to start.”

The party. He had completely forgotten about that. Curfew night _and_ an upcoming champion fight? This would be a party that people would talk about for years. If they didn’t drink themselves into an early grave.

“I’m not in the mood,” he grumbled, which was… not exactly true. He hated parties, the lot of them. But this one… he kinda wanted to go. With Hanji. Which… gah, he hated feeling like this. It was all Hanji’s fault, giving him such a shock earlier. He was still shaken.

“Where’s your woman?” Maria asked.

_His woman_. As if. Hanji was a fucking menace who was nobody’s woman. He hated her almost as much as that stupid book. He kicked it again, feeling a grim satisfaction when it hit the wall to his right with an ugly thud.

“Up on the roof,” Levi grumbled and bent down to pick up the book. Making Hanji promise to sit still and wait there had drained half his energy.

“Good,” Maria said and pushed open the door to the building, to use the stairs to get to the roof. “I’m sure she doesn’t want to miss this.”

Good? It wasn’t good at all. As soon as he climbed out onto the roof through the hatch, Hanji grabbed the book from his hands and began fretting over its state, commiserating its torn leather binding and the few dirty pages. No: “I hope you are not in pain, Levi.” No: “You’re a genius to think of tying a rope to the one metal hook on this roof.” No: “Thank you for almost ripping your leg off to save me.”

“I told you it would not survive,” she chided him. “Look at it!”

For fuck’s sake.

“I’m going to throw it off again if you don’t stop cuddling that damn thing,” he growled. “As far as I can throw. And this time, I won’t fetch it back.”

Hanji turned her back on him rudely, all the while cooing softly to the book. He saw red. He’d rip it to pieces right in front of her!

“Levi is jealous of a book, hahaha! I’m dying,” Maria laughed, holding her stomach.

Huh?! What utter bullcrap! “I’m not…!”

But Hanji had swiveled around, an astonished look on her face.

“Oh,” she said in a small, quivering voice.

“I’m not…,” he tried again, but her face softened in a heart-melting kind of way, which made his chest knot up and his breath short.

“I’m sorry,” she stepped up to him. “How rude of me. Thank you. You’re a genius to think of tying a rope to the one metal hook on this roof. I hope you didn’t hurt your leg too much.”

And then she kissed him. Her lips were so soft and tender and when she stroked the back of his head with one of her hands like before he kind of just… went all soft inside. His hands came around her body, so warm, so desirable, and he…

“Urgh,” Maria made a choking noise, “disgusting.”

“Fuck off,” Levi snapped at her.

“Er, no,” she gave back. “I’m to lead you to the party, have you forgotten already? Jeez, _MEN_! You lot are useless, your brains turn to goo when that other brain takes over.”

“Party?” Hanji perked up. “What party.”

“It’s going to be SO GOOD!” Maria yelled. “A curfew night champion party! Wooooheeeeeh! There will be food, drink and music!”

“Oh, can we go, Levi?” Hanji turned her soft eyes on him.

He wanted to tell her that going there with him would have consequences but he wasn’t even able to form words. His brain _was_ goo. But not because he wanted to bang her like Maria had insinuated. Well... actually, he did want to bang her. But he also wanted to hold her. Just hold her. She was so warm and soft and made him feel… he was in trouble, wasn't he.

“... but let me collect some of this before we go,” Hanji stepped away from him, bending over the part of the roof where Oliver grew whatever disgusting things people like Oliver grew. She picked some of the gross stuff up and put it into her mouth.

“No!” Levi jumped to prevent it, but he was too late. She had already swallowed.

“Why would you…,” he groaned. “Hanji, how stupid are you?”

She had a pensive look on her face.

“Are you feeling swoony?” he asked alarmed.

She shook her head. He bent down to pick some of the fungus off the roof too.

“Don’t!” Hanji’s hand gripped his wrist and shook it. “ _You_ can’t taste it! Who knows what will happen to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at her.

“I want to go to that party,” Hanji explained with a wry smile. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t see everything in pink colors again.”

Pink? Maria giggled. He looked at her in a very disapproving way. She shrugged and poked her tongue out.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he grumbled. With a frown, he watched Hanji take some of the mossy fungus off the roof, wrap it into some cloth and fold it neatly into the book that she put underneath her shirt. She wasn’t swooning. He needn't worry this much.

Or actually, maybe he needed to worry much more. Jealous of a book? Something was very, very wrong with him. He had a kind of hunch what it might be.

###

Zoë loved all parties. The more raucous the better. The moment they stepped into the crowded underground room - no, it was an entire hall! - she knew that this one would be one of the better ones she had ever been to.

Scratch this: _the best_ she had ever been to.

It was in the scant air - a thrill, an excitement that spread through her body like a wildfire as soon as she stepped into the crowded space. Her limbs began to twitch to the rhythm of the music and she laughed, that’s how good it felt. Levi held her hand - he had held it all the way to this place, the warm pressure of his fingers guiding her through the maze of streets once they had left the rooftops, pulling her into alleys and shadows when a patrol passed them, leading her into the underground of the underground.

People began to shout. “The champion! Xandra’s champion is here!” The crowd pressed in on them, like everyone wanted to have a better look.

“Make way for the champion and his woman!” they shouted, patting Levi’s shoulder, the more daring ones his head.

His woman. Haha, how funny. They meant her.

“Great outfit,” a man with a gap in his teeth grinned and patted her shoulder too. “Best of luck to you! Be blessed.”

How nice.

Someone pressed drinks into their hands, huge tankards full of - she sniffed the liquid - beer. She loved beer! This one tasted a little strange but maybe it was the fungus that still lingered on her tongue. She was thirsty and downed half of it in one go, suppressing a burp afterwards.

“Not exactly how I imagined things to go down,” a familiar voice said to her right. “But here we all are - I’m delighted to see you again, Queen Hange!”

“Renzo!” Zoë tried a lopsided smile on the tall and handsome man that stood next to her, lifting her tankard in a salute. Did this mean trouble? They hadn’t exactly left on friendly terms... Levi growled beside her, a dangerous, possessive sound that made an anticipatory shiver race through her.

“Ah, didn’t see you down there,” Renzo addressed him with a sneer. “You lying scumbag, you promised to fight for _me_. How did that old whore get you to bend over?”

“Piss off,” Levi snapped. “I said I would pay my debt. I will. Who do you want me to kill?”

Renzo just grinned lazily. “We will see about that when the time comes,” he folded his arms, bringing his attention back to her. “Miss Hange, before I forget: You wanted information on a girl? She was taken to a hospital as you suspected. The Treibels own her now.”

“Esmelda?” Levi interjected. “How is she?”

“Who cares,” Renzo shrugged. “Underground flesh is worth less than nothing in the Shining City above, not sure I need to remind you of all people.”

Levi tensed, but Zoë put her hand on his arm and pressed it. “I’ll take care of it,” she told him softly. “My name is good for some things. She’ll be fine.”

“So it’s true that you’re some kind of freak?” Renzo let his eyes roam over Levi’s body. “You were in a very sorry state two nights ago. No sign of that now... You heal _fast_.”

Shit. Of course he’d notice.

“All thanks to my great nursing,” Zoë boasted.

Renzo snickered. “Is that what we call it? Would you care to nurse me a little too? I have this ache here that won’t go away…” he pointed at his crotch.

“Step away or die,” Levi snapped and pushed between them, glaring up at the crime boss menacingly.

“Oh no, he doesn’t like to share,” Renzo underscored his mocking tone with an exaggerated shrug in her direction. “What can we do. And _my_ champion just won’t stop talking about him, it’s quite tedious and won’t help me enjoy this special night. Ah. Here she is.”

“Oh no,” Zoë murmured in turn. She hadn’t given this whole fight scheme much thought of late with everything else that had been going on. But now… of course there would be _two_ champions. Levi was fighting for Xandra? That meant...

“Hiiiii!” another familiar voice said.

Annika. Annika was Renzo’s champion. That meant… Levi would have to fight _her_ in the ring. She was looking gorgeous in a dark blue outfit that showed off her incredible body to its best advantage. The color was also highlighting the bruises all over her face - and it made her look even sexier, however absurd that was.

“Take one step closer and you’re dead!” Zoë snapped at her, wedging her body between the redhead and Levi.

“Oh, the kitten has grown claws,” Annika snickered. “Afraid I will steal your mate? And why shouldn’t two champions have a right to enjoy each other?”

“You menace,” Zoë growled at her. “You’re to blame for this fucking mess!”

“No idea what you mean,” Annika said, flicking back her luscious hair, “now go away. Hi, Levi sweetheart. So sorry I had to hurt you the last time we met. Let me make it up to you later, okay? I might even give you your knife back.”

Would Levi be able to hurt Annika? With a sinking feeling, Zoë came to the conclusion that she had doubts about it. She knew how capable Levi normally was. The sorry state he had been in after their last clash could only mean that he had gone soft on Annika at the wrong time. Zoë's arm twitched and she balled her hands into fists, ready to hit someone with red hair so hard she would not get back up, but Levi caught her wrist.

“She just wants to provoke you,” he said calmly. “Don’t fall for it.”

“That’s right,” Annika showed a row of impressively large teeth, “I want to provoke her and scratch her eyes out. Then I’ll cut up her face so you won’t recognize her anymore. You’re mine, Levi. Always were. Always will be.”

The audacity! Zoë was speechless long enough for Levi to manage to push her behind him again.

“Annika,” he said amiably, yet radiating danger. “For this alone you deserve the worst. I promised I would kill you. I’ll make it extra slow and painful.”

Annika’s green eyes turned wet, with the effect that they grew even bigger and more expressive.

“Y… you,” she sniffled, “you are so, so cruel.”

“Oh just fuck off,” Levi pulled a disgusted face. “Your theatrics don’t work on me.”

“Well, well, well,” a deep, pleasant voice interrupted them. “Children, are you already fighting? It’s too early for that.”

It was Xandra, to make this little gathering complete. She was wearing a black, scandalous dress and a dark-red necklace that looked so expensive, Zoë wondered how much provisions and material it would buy for the Scouts. She craned her neck, half expecting to see her brother somewhere behind the bawd, but Ben wasn’t there.

“Glad you made it, Levi,” Xandra said and smiled a motherly smile, completely ignoring Annika. “And you, Church,” Xandra continued with a much cooler nod in Renzo’s direction. “The truce holds?”

Renzo nodded briskly. “Until tomorrow night, after the fight.”

Xandra nodded too and they shook hands, very briefly. “Can we discuss business now?” she asked, gesturing towards the back wall.

“If you wish,” Renzo answered smoothly. He waved to Annika, who threw Levi a sullen look and Zoë a hateful one, and then the three of them left, the crowd parting before them.

“What is going on,” Zoë tugged at Levi’s sleeve. “Why are they not at each other’s throat?”

Levi shrugged. “They have a common enemy for the moment. We Undergrounders don’t particularly like it when the people from above think they can tell us how to live our lives.”

Zoë frowned. Here was the ‘we’ again. The word that excluded her. And then she understood. Oh fuck. Levi was bait and he knew it. This fight, it was much more than just a way to pay back a debt now. If Renzo and Xandra were combining forces, they wanted to go against the Military Police. And, she suspected, against the ‘Panther’ or whatever that animal was called.

“I won’t change my mind,” Levi interrupted her thoughts, “you don’t need to shout at me.”

“I can’t believe that you…!”

“I said arguing with me is pointless.”

“Why do you never share anything important with me!”

“I’m not used to sharing.”

“Then you better get used to it!”

“Huh,” he tilted his head, seeming a little surprised. As if the notion of sharing was so foreign to him he had never even considered it. Dummy.

“I’m on your side,” Zoë said.

“I appreciated it,” he grumbled, “but this is none of your business.”

“Oh, really? You are _such an idiot_.” Oh, goodie. Now she was hurt. Exactly what she had not wanted.

“Uhm…,” he looked sorry. What a sight. “Okay, if you shut up right now, I will give you something.”

Give her…? He had his hand in his trouser pocket. Oh. Another present? Could it be… another book?! But no, that wouldn’t fit into his pocket.

“Okay,” she said, too curious to stay angry, “okay, what is it?”

He pulled out the fucking _emeralds_ Renzo had put around her neck on that night of the gamble. To see them again rendered her speechless. That speechlessness continued when Levi fastened the necklace around her neck, pulling the shirt collars of her stolen uniform apart a little so the stones could settle on her naked skin.

He looked at her with a smug expression, then lifted his eyebrows questioningly when her stunned silence continued. “I thought women liked jewels? Or is claiming women like jewels just a devilish scheme to get men to spend huge amounts of money?”

“You spent exactly nothing on this,” she stammered. And yet - he had completely surprised her with the gesture. She felt very warm inside. And fluttery. That's why they had stopped briefly on their way here!

He shrugged, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “Someone did spend money. I just put them on the right neck. It’s what thieves like me do.”

“They’re… they’re not good with this uniform,” her treacherous hands went to her neck to fondle the precious stones.

“What? They’re perfect with this uniform. They go extremely well with the jacket. And your eyes.” He tilted his head to study her. “And your hair.”

“Is the world… still pink for you?” she said, feeling strangely faint. Had to be the heat. Or the alcohol.

“Nothing is pink. Stop asking me that!”

“It was funny when you were seeing things. You said I was beautiful then,” oh no. She had not just said that like a debutante desperate for a compliment! Her hand went to clasp her mouth, but it was too late. She _had_ said it.

“I said no such thing,” he scowled, looking taken aback.

“Pfft. You said a _lot_ of things,” she murmured, her voice shaky.

“What… kind of things?” he shifted uncomfortably.

“That you…,” _missed me. That I smell nice. You seemed to really like me. About as much as I like you._

“Nevermind,” Levi grumbled. “I guess one could say, with a bit of goodwill, that you are beautiful.”

_Excusemewhat?_

“You didn’t just say that,” she gasped, pulling at her ears. Were they broken?

“Okay, you’re right - I didn’t.”

“But you just did!”

Levi looked acutely uncomfortable now. “Just stop, this conversation creeps me out. Forget it ever happened. Let’s go dance.”

_Let’s go dance?_ Had someone replaced Levi with a strange copy of himself?

Strange Levi flashed her a dark look, grabbed her hand and pulled her forward into the thick of it. Forget it had ever happened? But how could she. She would never ever forget. She was doomed.

###

Curfew night parties held a special kind of magic. Not that Levi believed in this kind of nonsense, but it sufficed that enough other people believed in it. It was like they tapped into a slumbering well of energy underneath the city that they drew up through their feet and into their bodies, spewing it out through their pores. How else could it be explained that the very air sizzled with an exuberance of excitement and joy tonight?

Dancing in the underground was rowdy and unorderly. The musicians played their merry, fast tunes, dancers danced the way they wanted. Alone, in pairs, in groups. Dancing with one of the champions was meant to bring seven days of luck, so there were many who wanted a chance with him - but he only wanted to dance with Hanji. So he just didn’t let her go, not once.

The faces around him were colorful blurs, only hers was clear before him. Those amber eyes were full of laughter, happiness and love for life. He couldn’t look away. He didn’t want to.

They were drawing attention of course, but he didn’t care. Let the people here see that he had met a woman up above who was so smart she would solve humanity’s great puzzles all by herself. A brave and loyal woman who would give her life without even a second of hesitation. A woman he wanted to protect so that she could live a long life. A woman he wanted to give presents to because her eyes lit up in the most beautiful way when he did. A woman who made him feel… happy.

It was truly ridiculous. He was getting himself filthy and sweaty, probably looking like the biggest fool hopping around like this, but he was filled with happiness and hope.

Someone put a crown of paper flowers on her head. Someone else pressed coins into their hands. A woman tied red ribbons around their wrists. It felt right. It was the magic in the air - but he did not want anything else but this. This happiness. This feeling. Her. Forever.

###

“Enough?” Levi asked her with what looked suspiciously like a grin.

“I need a break”, she put her hands on her knees to catch her breath. “The devil, you people know how to party!”

“You could stop drinking so much beer,” he suggested, not looking in the least winded, “it will give you a vicious headache. It’s not pure.”

“People could stop handing me tankards,” she brushed back the hair from her sweaty face. Her protruding belly felt ready to burst from the sloshing liquid. But apparently, she was sweating out enough of it so that she didn’t have to go pee all the time.

“I could get you something to eat.”

“Oh, could you?”

She would very much like something to eat! Something dripping with fat, for example. Sweet or savory. Or both. Craning her neck and standing on her tiptoes, she tried to get an idea where the food might be.

“Don’t bother, someone will serve us.”

Levi signalled to an eager looking young man with huge, red ears near them. The young man nodded and disappeared from view. Zoë looked around: The crowd had thinned a little over time, but the very large hall was still brimming with warm, moving bodies. The little orchestra of fiddlers, pipers, guitarists and drummers looked like they were about to fall over from exhaustion. Others had just succumbed to their weariness and were sleeping slack jawed with their heads against the walls, or outstretched on the floor.

It had to be in the morning hours though there was no telling this deep underground.

She didn't want this to end. It was like they had all entered a trance together, one of oblivious bliss. Zoë had never seen Levi this much at ease. It made her happy but at the same time, a little sad. Her brain was foggy from alcohol and exertion but she still realized why that was: these were his people. They adored and worshipped him. The Survey Corps was no substitute for this - this much life, this much energy, despite all the hardship these people endured on a daily basis. It was eerily beautiful and it hurt her heart.

“For the bride,” the young man who appeared at her elbow beamed happily, handing her a huge plate of very many delicious looking things. “May the goddess shine on you always and bless you with many children!”

Huh? She was a little slow right now and he had already disappeared back into the throng of people after a misshapen bow before she got around to asking him what he had meant. She turned around to Levi who was busy looking at nothing, still wearing a faint smile on his face.

“Levi?” she asked.

“Hm?” He turned around to face her.

“This man just called me ‘bride’ and blessed me, wishing for many children.”

“Did he?”

“Why would he think that I…?” her voice trailed off and she looked down at herself. Red ribbons. Money. Flowers.

_What. The. Fuck._

“Levi!” she squealed.

“It’s an old underground tradition,” he shrugged like it was no deal at all. “It’s to boost everyone’s morale.”

“What old underground…”

“It’s called an underground wedding,” he explained. “The crowd selects the two people who stand out the most on curfew night. Because they seem… you know...”

“Excuse me? You didn’t just say w… w… wedding,” blood was pounding in her ears. Levi was right, she shouldn’t have drunk so much beer.

“I said wedding.”

“I’m… I’ m not marrying you!”

“Of course you’re not marrying me. It’s not real.”

“Then why is it called an underground wedding!?”

“Because it’s an old tradition, I guess? Everybody loves a wedding, even if it’s not real.”

“You bloody idiot!” Zoë screamed. “An old tradition! Then it’s real!”

He looked at her like she had lost her mind.

“Yes, I’m superstitious, you moron! I grew up with a nanny who made me afraid of my own shadow!”

“Relax, Hanji.”

“How can I r… r… relax! This… this…,” she grabbed a piece of cake from the plate and stuffed it into her mouth because she didn’t know what else to do. It was delicious but that didn’t matter much, did it? Panic constricted her throat. What else had been in that beer? This might be a weird dream.

“I didn’t know the thought would be _that_ abhorrent to you,” Levi drawled amused, stepping up to her to cup her cheek. “You look absolutely _delectable_ this flustered. Hm. Can’t wait for the wedding night. Or is it a wedding morning? We better hurry.”

W… what? Why was he looking at her so… so… a great quivering started in her legs. Was she about to faint?

“It has nothing to do with you,” she stammered. “But I don’t want to get married! Ever!”

“Good, cause neither do I. Eat.”

He took the plate from her and put something into her mouth. She chewed. Then she began to hiccup.

“Eat more,” he fed her something else that was sugar sweet. Like cotton candy. She swallowed. The hiccup subsided. The fluttering didn’t. This was mad. This was utterly, stupidly mad.

She heard how people cheered. For them.

“Hm,” Levi purred again and pulled her head down into a kiss. More cheering. The fucking adorable scumbag kissed her for show in front of a room full of extremely drunk people and she loved it. He licked the sweet taste off her lips with leisurely, long strokes. “You taste so damn good,” he groaned. “We need to leave.”

Zoë didn’t have to ask what he had in mind. She could feel it. Her exhausted body signalled to her even more exhausted brain that yes indeed, they had unfinished business.

“Where?” she managed to murmur.

“They prepared a little something for us, I guess,” Levi chuckled. “Usually in the same building.”

“You said it wasn’t…”

“...wasn’t real, yes,” he said. “But these good people still expect us to disappear together and consummate our wedding.”

“I don’t want to consummate our wedding!”

“You don’t? And here I was under the impression that you wanted to rip my pants off not too long ago.”

A helpless laugh escaped her throat when he grabbed her hand and began to pull her away.

“Do you maybe want to read me something from that book you still carry around with you like a lunatic? Hearing you talk about sciency things is such a turn on.”

“Oh, really?” she squealed.

He blinked. Then he grinned. “Anything. Anything you want. This is curfew night. It’s magic.”


	25. Not a Wedding Night

For someone decidedly and deliberately unromantic like Levi, a path made from fake rose petals, illuminated by red candles to the left and right - imagine the stupid expense! - was worth only one thing: snide remarks.

But somehow… On this night that was already turning into an underground morning, despite the cheesiness of this extravaganza, Levi felt the strangest of sensations. It was highly unsettling. A tight, choking feeling in his throat, an almost painful fluttering in the region of his heart. As they made their way up the stairs slowly, he put a shaking hand on his chest, worried that something was wrong with him.

Yes, he realized. Clearly, something was wrong with him.

It had to do with Hanji. Hanji, a little flushed, a little drunk, disheveled from hopping around with him half the night like a crazed rabbit, bright eyed and laughing. She looked so so… happy… so soft in the light of the candles. Hanji who threw him gentle looks from the side that made him… made him... fuck this.

Levi looked away from her glowing face with an effort, swallowing compulsively. His stomach was aflutter, it felt as if evil bugs had gotten in and were dancing their own jig.

Damn it all to hell.

“How nice of them,” Hanji said, pointing at a heart shaped arrangement of candles on the first landing. Her voice was deep and resonant and shaking just a little, providing the music for his gut bugs to dance even faster. His mouth wanted to say things like “No, you are nice”, an awfully embarrassing string of words which he managed to stop from escaping his lips. And then regretted not saying.

Maybe he should run. But - he didn’t want to. He wanted to continue walking up the slanting stairs with her, feeling the pressure of her warm hand in his. He wanted to see her look this happy, he wanted to breathe in this Hanji smell of sunshine and freedom, forever. He wanted this to be the beginning of more rather than the end of something that wasn’t theirs to have.

It hurt because it wasn’t a beginning. Because however foolish he felt right now, he wasn't the type of idiot to dream pointless dreams.

“Awwww,” she cooed when they reached the room that had been readied for them. Mirrors and lights everywhere, a clean, fresh smell, very unusual for the underground. A bed and a large bathtub, full of steaming hot water. With pink bubbles.

Levi wasn’t used to speechlessness. But this generosity, this grand gesture from people who had nothing, it robbed him of words.

Maybe I’m going to cry, he realized, the tight feeling getting almost overwhelming. Everything felt unstable. Most of all his knees.

“Do you want to bathe together?” Hanji asked, sounding a little shy as she glanced at the bathtub.

Why did she sound shy, dammit. He was coming undone inside at the speed of a ball of yarn dropped to the floor. Hanji shy? His heart was going to explode.

He managed a nod.

Hanji pulled out the book he had given her from underneath her blouse and put it on the bed, gingerly, as if it could break. It was a book about plants. He couldn’t for the life of him understand how one could get so excited over a stinky old book, but yeah, Hanji wasn’t like other people, so... Already, he was planning to get her more books of this sort if they meant so much to her. There were a few traders in the underground he knew to approach. The money for it… well. He had saved his wages this last few months, since he had nothing to spend them on anyway.

After tenderly stroking the worn cover with her fingertips, Hanji turned around and smiled at him bashfully.

“Can I undress you?”

“Hanji…,” he croaked, still not quite capable of forming words that would not simply kill her with laughter on the spot because of their cheesiness, feeling unsteady on his feet as if the floor was rolling this way and that.

“I’m a tiny little bit drunk,” she murmured, stepping close to him and putting her hands on his shoulders to peer deeply into his eyes. “And strangely nervous. Why? It’s not like we haven’t done this before.”

Yes. But it felt different tonight. Heavy and meaningful and loaded with far too many feelings. He was drowning in them. He didn’t know how to swim.

Levi reached up to her neck and pulled her mouth to his. There was a lingering sweetness that tasted like cotton candy and he swept his tongue across her lips, savoring it. She turned her head a little, opening her mouth to him with a tiny moan that went straight to his groin. He was rock-hard within seconds, a rush of blood to his midsection that made him dizzy.

Damnation, he wanted her.

It wasn’t the kind of want that was easily satisfied. How long did they have? Ten hours, maybe eleven. Not enough. It wasn’t like the stupid vow he had made would help, he realized. Sleeping with her the first time had awakened a hunger so profound, he would starve to death if he could not have more of her.

So yes, he would break his vow. And he would not make another. He was already doomed and beyond salvation anyway. Maybe he would find a way to deal with this... afterwards.

“Levi…,” she whispered, making him shudder and ache like every time she whispered his name this way. “Levi,” she repeated, “I think we’re in trouble?”

“Let’s not think about it,” he managed to press out. “Let’s do what you suggested. Let’s pretend…”

“... that we are someone else?”

He nodded, looking up into her luminous eyes. Carefully, he reached up to unhook the glasses from behind her ears and put them to the side.

“Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Levi,” he said and kissed her gently on the lips.

“Humpf,” she chuckled. “Please. What kind of name is this?”

“Mine,” he said. “You are mine. My wife. I’m the King of the underworld, respected, rich and powerful. Look at that emerald necklace I bought for you.”

“Ha,” Hanji smirked. “You’d like that, huh? I think we could make it happen. I’d be the Queen of the underworld and we’d rule together.”

It was a sign of just how much trouble he was in that he considered this for a second, truly considered what it would take to live with her down here, having a little kingdom for both of them. Realizing he would do it if she really wanted it. Then realizing that she was highborn and made for the light. That they were part of something bigger and far more important - that they owed their lives to the salvation of humanity. And that he was a stupid idiot to even think something like that because as far as fantasies went, this was one of the stupidest he could have come up with.

But she was opening his shirt, button for button, moving her hands over his chest and stomach, making happy, guttural noises. It felt like something he wanted to feel every second of his life, drawing a rumbling sound from his throat that reminded him of the purring of a cat, making him forget his heavy thoughts in an instance.

“Look at how well-built you are,” Hanji cooed, “those abs are a miracle. Do you do special sit-ups?”

“What’s that?” he shrugged out of the shirt altogether, frankly enjoying her appreciative glances a lot. She moved her attention to his arm, stroking the muscles with reference, then moving on to his neck, his upper back. Quite obviously, another part of him wanted very much to be touched too, straining against his breeches with extreme vigor.

“Impatient?” Hanji chuckled upon noticing and began to untie his belt. “Oh wait…”, no, don’t stop! he wanted to shout, but she looked at him questioningly. “I’m probably a virgin.”

Wh…?

“I mean in our pretend game. Mrs. Levi has to be, right? She wouldn’t dare to touch…”

“What garbage are you sprouting,” he groaned, “no, Mrs. Levi isn’t a virgin. I wouldn’t have married her if she were. She knows exactly what I like and she’s very good at it.”

“Ha!” she frowned. “Must be different down here. Gotta be intact up above as a bride or else...”

“You’re not really someone else, little idiot, you know that, right?”

“I’m just trying to… never mind,” she said, grabbing his straining member to squeeze it through the fabric. “By the Walls, this feels good. So big and hard.”

By the walls, it did feel good and her words made it even better. He moaned, wanting more. Right now. His hands went to his trousers, pushing her fumbling fingers away. Down with them! They dropped to his ankles and his swollen flesh sprang free, eagerly strutting outward and up.

Hanji went on her knees, a dream come true. Her mouth was soft, wet and warm, engulfing his swollen length tenderly. Her tongue swirled across the sensitive tip, making him jerk. Then she began to suck.

It was hard not to move his hips, to pump the delicious, soft cave of her mouth with all the lust he was feeling. It also became hard to stand. He grabbed her head for something to hold onto, stopping her movement because it was suddenly too much - he was too close already, like a young, inexperienced buck in his teens.

But who could stop Hanji when she was determined? Certainly not him. She made a needy sound deep in her throat, sucking harder. Her hands went to his balls to play, to knead. His bullocks tightened and pulsed, faster, harder - and then there was no holding back.

“Fuck, Hanji,” he groaned. “I’m coming. I can’t…”

His load shot into her mouth, there was seemingly no end to it. His legs shook so much he staggered, but her hands grabbed his buttocks and squeezed, holding him upright. Her mouth milked him dry eagerly, her tongue prolonging his pleasure with small circles where it felt like heaven. She lapped, and teased, and when it was over, he was semi-hard again. He stared down at her upturned, pleased face in wonderment.

“How many men did you practice with to get this good?” he asked hoarsely.

“None of your fucking business,” she frowned, pushing herself up.

“Don’t husbands ask their wives these kinds of things?” he was still breathing hard. He felt like sitting down.

“I doubt that,” she answered, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “It sounds like the beginning of a domestic conflict.”

“You can practice with me in the future,” he said. “No need to involve anyone else.”

“Sure,” she smirked, “Mrs. Levi will not have reason to stray. You’re delicious.”

He bent forward to kiss her hungrily. There was a salty taste on her lips this time, his taste. Not that he needed to be turned on any more, but this did it. His hands went to her breasts, loving the feel of her instantly stiffening nipples underneath his fingers. He had to be careful this time, he told himself, no ripping off of anything, she would need this uniform again in… too few hours.

Hanji’s hands came up to help him with the buttons, probably thinking the same. As soon as they were freed, Levi bent his head to suck her cute little nipples. They were light brown, perky and perfect. Mirroring her movement from earlier, he swirled his tongue over them and sucked until she began to claw at his head. Not relenting, his hand went to her trousers, opening the belt, the button. Drop. Oh, she was wearing drawers? His fingers stroked over the fine fabric, was this silk? Duh, rich kids and their fancies. He grinned against her breasts. Finally something to rip.

Rip.

Her gasp was delicious. So was the feeling of her cleft underneath his fingers. Hm, wet, warm, ready. He stroked along her opening, teasing open her lips with his thumb.

“I thought we wanted to bath,” she moaned above him.

Oh. That. He’d rather insert a finger into her and then a second. He wiggled them until he found the little rough mound inside of her fanny, stroking and pressing it, listening to how her breathing sped up.

He let go of her nipples to look up at her. Her eyes were half-closed and she was very red in the face.

“Like this, Mrs. Levi?” he asked, feeling smug.

“You’re an expert, are you, Mr. Levi?” she panted, looking at him with glazed over eyes. “How many women have you practiced with? Fuck!”

The ripples were staring inside of her. He loved the feeling of how her walls squeezed his fingers greedily, as if they wanted to draw in his entire hand.

“Ten maybe?” he mused, circling faster, adding his thumb to stimulate her little bud at the top of her cleft.

“I didn’t really want to know!” she huffed. “What… only ten? Ahhh…. Levi. Oh, that feels… that feels… by the...”

Her orgasm shook her entire body and he quickly put an arm around her hips to steady her because her knees began to buckle. Withdrawing his hand, he decided to pick her up. Could there be anything sweeter than Hanji in his arms, still rocking from the aftershocks of an orgasm, her face in rapture, her eyes closed, her skin all rosy and flushed?

The room wasn’t very spacious so it only took him two steps to get to the bathtub. He stepped in, briefly letting his skin adjust to the heat, then lowered himself with her still in her arms, arranging her body in front of him between his legs. She put her head back against his shoulder, letting out a long sigh.

“Mrs. Levi is content,” she murmured.

Levi closed his own eyes then, reveling in the feel of her body against his, relaxing muscles in his back, his neck. His hands went to her breasts, lazily cupping and kneading the small mounds, stroking down over her stomach, enjoying the feel of her belly button. She wriggled against him and with a small groan, he rubbed his erection up and down the cleft between her ass cheeks.

“Keep still,” he said.

“Why?” she wriggled some more.

Her ass wasn’t ample but it still had a woman’s soft feel to it. He went even harder. She was just too sexy.

“Are you in a rush?” he asked huskily. “Isn’t bathing for relaxation?”

“Oh, I’m fully relaxed,” she grinned. “You?”

She reached behind her, closing her fingers around the proof that he wasn’t.

“Were you this easily turned on with your other ten women too?” she asked curiously. “Is this normal for you?”

“What the fuck are you asking,” he bit into one of her ear lobes and sucked. How could he not be turned on with her naked before him like this?

“Was one of your ancestors a rabbit god?” she chuckled, slowly stroking the length of him.

“I want to fuck you over and over until I drop dead, is that the answer you are looking for?” he growled, his hands moving to the place between her legs, playing with the locks of hair there.

“I’m not sure Mrs. Levi appreciates coarse language like this,” she whispered. “Isn’t it called ‘making love’ when one is married?”

It was? Making love, huh.

“I want to make love to you until you beg me to stop because you are too sore, Mrs. Levi,” he rasped into her ear and watched a shiver shaking her with satisfaction. “And no, I won’t become tired because you are turning me on like nobody has ever turned me on before. This,” he stroked along her outer lips, opening them up a little, “this,” stroking the inner lips, “this,” stroking the entrance, feeling her arch against him, “this”, flicking her clitoris. “All mine to ravish for hours. I mean to find out which positions you prefer and then have you in those at least three times before moving on to the next. And this, too,” he moved his fingers to her butthole, circling it with his thumb, “it needs proper attention.”

“I’ve never...,” she gulped, “I mean…”

“Hm,” Levi pressed against the tight resistance with his thumb, “don’t worry, Mrs. Levi. That’s for advanced fucking. I mean... love making, I beg your highborn pardon.”

“I’d like to… try… some day?” she smiled nervously.

“Mr. Levi will be at the ready,” he grinned.

“Will there be… another time?” she asked very quietly.

“But of course, Mrs. Levi,” he lied too easily, “the king and the queen of the underworld have nothing else to do than stay in bed all day, enjoying each other. Don’t you know?”

###

Levi’s fingers drove her mad and he knew it. Zoë had never been teased this viciously. She tried to get him to rub her more decisively where she wanted him to, but he just continued stroking her lightly until every inch of her tingled and throbbed with the need for release.

She managed to reciprocate by stroking the length of him behind her, but he removed her hands, arranging them firmly on the edge of the tub.

“Mr. Levi is in charge now,” he rasped. “Behave.”

“You scumbag,” she moaned, lifting her hips, trying to find the tip of his erection with that part of her that needed it inside.

“Urgh” he said when she did.

“Gotcha,” she grinned, pressing down. A moan escaped her throat. So good. There was resistance because the bathwater had washed away her natural lubrication but she didn’t care. Wiggling frantically, she managed to impale herself fully.

“Fine,” he groaned. “We do it your way if you just cannot wait.”

And he began to roll his hips. Sitting on his lap with her back to him while he moved in shallow strokes felt very naughty. And so fucking good.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded and moved her hand from the edge to her clit, circling it for her until she obeyed. Trust Levi to make the situation even naughtier. The sensation was perfect.

“Enjoying yourself, Mrs. Levi?” he asked, cupping her breasts.

Oh god, yes.

“Then say it.”

“It feels… good,” she pressed out, feeling herself blush. That she was still capable of that after all this intimacy surprised her.

“What feels good?” he demanded to know.

“What you are doing.”

“You can do better than that, I’m sure,” he moved a little and his strokes became more forceful. “In case you haven’t noticed yet, I love it when you talk dirty, Mrs. Levi.”

“Your… d… dick,” she managed, panting quite heavily by now, “it feels very good inside of me and… ahhh, yes. Ahhh, like this. Dammit, that feels...”

She stimulated her clit harder and faster, feeling her orgasm build deep inside of her.

“Say my name,” he growled, “every time you come for me, say my name from now on.”

“Levi,” she breathed, “Levi, for fuck’s sake…”

Then it was here and washed over her, rocking her like a boat on the high sea. She slumped back against him, feeling much too spent, suddenly remembering that they had danced all night and that it was morning outside, after a night without any sleep, with another one before it with hardly any either.

But he was still inside of her, still hard, moving slightly from time to time. His hands drew leisurely patterns on her skin underneath the water. It simply felt marvelous.

“Isn’t the water getting cold?” he asked after a while, lifting her hips to withdraw from her.

“Hey,” she complained, “I liked that.”

“My legs are falling asleep,” he moved her forward and away from him, “move to the bed.”

“I might fall asleep,” she murmured.

“Already?” he pushed himself upwards, dripping water on her as he climbed out of the tub. The view was… Zoë smacked her lips. That ass! Levi grabbed a towel and began to dry himself, then slung it around his hips.

“You coming?” he asked, throwing her a look as he climbed on the slightly shaky looking, four poster bed. It was so soft, he almost disappeared from view when he let himself fall forward. Scraping together some energy, Zoë lifted herself up and out, the cooler air in the room making her shiver. There were some little bottles with green and yellow liquid on a small stool and she went over to sniff them after toweling herself off. Oil, perhaps. It smelled very nice.

Sprawled Levi on the bed hadn’t moved.

“You asleep?” she whispered.

“As if,” his answer came, muffled against the pillow. But he sounded tired.

“You need to sleep,” she scolded him, “you have a big fight coming up!”

“This is the lousiest wedding night I ever had,” he murmured.

Zoë had to laugh, but when he turned around on his back, she realized he wouldn’t be able to sleep with… that poking out.

“Close your eyes,” she said and climbed on the bed with him.

“But I want to see you,” he complained, reaching for her.

“Close your eyes or nothing will happen,” she ordered him.

“And already she’s taking command,” he murmured, put his hands behind his neck and closed his eyes.

Zoë admired his body for a few moments, then coated her hands with oils.

“You’re ticklish, right?” she said. “Brace yourself.”

“Am not ticklish,” he murmured.

She began the massage with his calves, slowly moving up to his thighs. It was tempting to touch his penis next, but she went to his chest, then his shoulders and arms. He lifted his hips a little, but she deliberately ignored that part of him a little longer.

“Am going to sleep,” he murmured.

“Oh, really?” she smiled, moving her hands down to his thighs again.

“I don’t like this at all,” he frowned.

“Do you like this?” she asked, cupping his balls with her hands.

“Better,” he breathed.

“This?” Zoë asked, moving one up to his shaft, slowly moving it up and down.

“Hm, yes,” he pressed out. “Go faster.”

“Look who’s impatient now,” she chuckled but complied. The warm smoothness of him excited her so much she forgot how tired she was. It felt like she was dripping with need for him after a few minutes.

“Enough,” he growled and grabbed her hand. He pulled her forward and she fell on top of him, finding herself in his arms and flipped on her back the very next moment. “No more artful touchy touchy,” he said, pulling her hips towards him, lifting her legs and putting them on his shoulder. “Now for the more serious business.”

She was so wet he just needed to lean forward to impale her.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You feel so good.”

He pulled back until he almost slipped free and then pushed back in. Deep.

“Oh god,” she moaned.

“Good?” he rasped.

She nodded.

“Hard?” he panted.

“Oh fuck, yes,” she moaned.

He began to move in earnest. Long, hard, fast strokes, almost painful, but not quite, reaching deep inside of her. Pressure built and built. She was clutching his shoulders, raking her nails over his back. His lips were on hers, she sucked his lips between her teeth.

“Levi,” she gasped, “Levi, don’t stop, don’t ever stop… I…”

The wave crashed upon shore and drove the wind out of her, and again, again, she rocked and shook but he wasn’t done, he picked her up again where she lay shattered and carried her up again, up and up.

She couldn’t even say his name the next time because the second wave of release was so strong she almost blacked out.

“Please stay by my side, Hanji. Please never leave me.”

His words were spoken so softly, so labored, she might have imagined them over the blood that was pounding in her ears.

###

His world exploded and shattered and he was thrown into a black void full of strange stars, lost and terrified for a short moment before Hanji tightened her arms around him and held him tight through his climax. Afterwards, she gently rocked his body, stroking his hair at the back of his head, his shoulders, his back as he drifted back down to earth.

He couldn’t for the life of him move or say anything.

He would probably never tell her, but underground weddings were real if the couple wanted them to be. He wanted it to be, with a desperation he had not felt often before. She was his Mrs. Levi and she would be until the day he died and nobody could take this away from him.

As soon as that thought had taken shape in his head, his heart grew heavy and heavier still, thumping with unknown, laboring intensity, as if it wanted to jump out of his chest and attach itself to hers.

He felt something hot and warm gather in his eyes and the shock of it almost shook him out of his strange stupor. Was he… was he…?

The next breath he took sounded like a sob. Embarrassment washed over him, but Hanji just held him a little tighter, kissing the line of his jaw, ruffling his hair. He buried his face against her neck, pressing his eyes shut and filling his lungs with Hanji smell.

“I know,” she whispered, “it makes me want to weep and never stop. But hey,” she pressed him to her hard for a brief moment, “aren’t you some kind of genius? There’s nothing you can’t do.”

A sad chuckle erupted from his throat. “What would you have me do?”

“Fix this,” she murmured. “Find a way how we can stay in the Survey Corps even after Erwin finds out we disobeyed his orders. Find a way how we can be together. Like this.”

“But I’m not the smart one here,” he said feebly.

“My father wants to completely defund the Corps,” she suddenly added. “Maybe it’s for the best…?”

That brought sense and strength back to him and he quickly detached himself from her, even though it made a hollow feeling take root inside of him.

“Never think like that,” he told her. “Never. The Survey Corps is much more important than…”

“No, it’s not. It’s not to me,” Hanji said, reaching up to cup his cheek.

Happiness flooded him at what he saw in her eyes - but he couldn’t allow himself to feel this way. This was exactly why soldiers like them were not allowed attachments. However much he might think he lov…

Levi felt the blood drain from his face.

“Are you unwell?” she reached up to him, to pull his head down onto her shoulder.

He rolled away from her, onto his side, his head pounding, his gut in a painful knot, feeling an overwhelming need to curl up into a tight ball and cover his ears with his hands. Godfuckingdammit.

He loved her.

Oh, it made sense now. Everything. All those strong, unwanted feelings. Obviously, he had been far too dense to realize before and certainly too stupid to stop it in time.

The realization made him want to weep again, much harder this time.

“Don’t turn away from me,” Hanji said, “please. Please don’t break my heart, Levi.”

“How? How?” he growled, turning back around to face her.

She shook her head, looking lost. “Maybe… maybe we just have to plunge straight ahead, not letting our fears rule us? You know, like taking on a Titan. We are good at that, aren’t we?”

Levi wasn’t familiar with fear. It simply hadn’t existed in his life. Until now.

“I don’t even know what you’re saying, Mrs. Levi,” he forced himself to say, “isn’t this our wedding night, full of bliss and happiness?”

“Oh no, I forgot,” she cuddled up to him. “I’m sorry I brought it up. Yes. We’re just married and making love until the cows come home.”

He wasn’t quite sure what was worse. The realization that he would have to make an impossible choice soon. Or the realization that however much he was in love with her, he would have to break her heart no matter what.

“This is not a good wedding night,” he said into her hair. “We’ll have to do it over.”

“Let’s get some sleep,” she murmured against his chest. “I’m sure we’ll find a solution once we’re better rested. There’s always a solution, right?”

He wanted to nod but then he just couldn’t. Yes, there was always a solution. But all of them made him feel like his heart was ripped from his chest and scattered to the winds.


End file.
